Chapter 9: I Don’t Even Have the Courage to Lift My Foot

I had already written about twenty lines for a serious reply…

[Takahashi Sayo: Just kidding. It’ll probably die down if you post an apology. It’s not like it’s a lot of people, and they don’t seem serious. It takes months to make a simple avatar, right? It takes too long.]

…I almost sent that. What was I thinking?

Sigh. I have to delete it all and start over.

[WhitePalette: No. I happen to have an avatar, and it’s a really good idea.]

Social anxiety that prevents me from properly conversing with anyone other than Kyuseok. Trauma that makes my body freeze when I meet large men like my brother or people with cold voices. Panic attacks that come whenever I see a woman’s blood.

I can overcome all the obstacles that hindered my social life. Without revealing my face, while talking to countless people…

[WhitePalette: It’s not that I’m not scared, and I’m not confident that I can do it well, but…]

Somehow, I feel like I have to do it. I had this conviction, or rather, a gut feeling, that I could achieve a lot by becoming a virtual streamer.

[Takahashi Sayo: Really…? (Seriously?)]

What? This woman seems really excited. What’s so good about me debuting as a Vtuber…

[Takahashi Sayo: The sooner you debut, the better, but debuting right now would seem too contrived. It would be hard to avoid the criticism that you used the saltiness as noise marketing to make your debut successful. This time, it would be better to only expose your voice to the media, create curiosity and anticipation for White Palette, and then debut later. There’s a trial-like broadcast run by a senior at my company, appearing there would be appropriate.]

Whoa. Long…!

But useful…!

[WhitePalette: …Were you always this smart?]

[Takahashi Sayo: That’s rude. I’m Mensa-level when I’m not drinking.]

The Mensa member part sounds like bullshit, but thanks to her, the overall framework for my future plans has been established. A debut, huh… One of the most important events in my life seems to be progressing too suddenly.

[Takahashi Sayo: Do you use Nightcord?]

[WhitePalette: Yes. Why do you…]

[Takahashi Sayo: I’m planning to confirm if Mama is actually a woman, right? I’d be disappointed if you’re a catfish like my previous illustrator.]

…Right, Sayo-san has never spoken to me on the phone or met me in person. Because I live in Korea, and due to my various circumstances, we only exchanged messages.

[WhitePalette: I’m a woman. But phone calls are a bit…]

But just because I couldn’t do it in the past doesn’t mean I can do it now. My accumulated hikikomori experience wouldn’t allow me to talk to anyone other than Kyuseok.

[Takahashi Sayo: Sigh. Mama. How are you going to do a broadcast if you can’t even talk on the phone with someone you’ve known for three years? Just give up. Didn’t you say the reason you wanted to stream was to treat your social anxiety?]

That’s also true. That’s true, but…

A bigger, more romantic, yet foolish ideal.

Why is this childish, absurd delusion coming to mind?

My slightly heavy fingers struggled to type each letter. She won’t laugh, right? That kind Sayo-san…

[WhitePalette: Very few people have lived a more unfortunate life than me. I wanted to show that even someone like me can be happy.]

[Takahashi Sayo: That’s wonderful! That reason. Then, would you please let me hear your voice?]

Ding!

I received [Shiori Haru]’s Nightcord ID. There’s a fan of three years who wants to hear my voice. What I had to do was clear.

“Ah… uh… Can you hear me…?”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

Sayo, upon hearing White Palette’s voice, let out a death rattle and momentarily short-circuited. Utahime Mizuki Aya, the ultimate in singing ability and intensity. Aoba Hazuki, who boasts a soft tone. Hanamori Miyu, who captivates people with her innocent, cute voice without any technique.

A voice that seemed to be a harmonious blend of the best qualities of these three Vtubers. Even though no echo was on, she felt like her voice was resonating.

The first emotion that came to Sayo’s mind upon hearing this voice was admiration, and then came a question. A question so strong it was absurd.

“Why… didn’t you want to talk on the phone?”

And a sentence that turned that question into excitement.

“Isn’t it strange…?”

“Huh?! What kind of nonsense are you talking about?!”

It might be disrespectful to her benefactor, but Sayo seriously wondered if Soohyun had lost her mind. The avatar was done, the voice was ready. All that’s left is to find a rigger, Sayo thought in frustration.

Fortunately, she didn’t know that Soohyun was a once-in-a-generation genius who had also mastered rigging. If she had known, she might have yelled at Soohyun right then and there.

Sayo felt stupid for getting salty herself. Getting jealous of someone like Yui and letting her emotions get the better of her while drunk was ridiculous. She had seen this person three years ago and hadn’t recognized her talent.

Her anger was misdirected. Sayo unknowingly stood up and spoke, her excitement growing uncontrollably.

“You said you already have an avatar, right? Just change the name and debut immediately! My goodness. It’s a miracle that someone like you hasn’t been exposed to the media…”

She didn’t know that she was speaking to someone so fragile that they would be traumatized by anyone raising their voice at them.

“Sayo-san, sigh. You were the one who explained everything first… Please calm… calm down.”

Soohyun’s slightly ragged breathing. Her trembling breaths.

Sayo finally realized that Soohyun’s social anxiety wasn’t an act. Hearing Soohyun’s voice, Sayo had unconsciously assumed that her gloomy side was a lie.

Sayo apologized profusely, her voice filled with regret and apology.

“Um… I’m sorry, Mama. I wasn’t considerate.”

“I-It’s… okay. Sigh… I’m okay.”

Soohyun’s condition was, realistically speaking, quite serious. It made Sayo doubt whether she could even function in society.

It’s common, almost inevitable, for Vtubers to raise their voices, even jokingly, when making tsukkomi remarks. Someone who has panic attacks just from hearing that, with this kind of voice and avatar, and all the attention of otakus focused on her debut…

It would be impossible for someone so fragile, Sayo thought.

“Mama. You don’t have to push yourself, should we forget about it? The debut…”

A glass cannon. Someone who possesses a weapon to make anyone fall in love, yet falls into despair at the slightest attack.

Sayo regretted losing such a talent, but she hated putting her benefactor in danger even more.

It was Soohyun who showed unexpected resolve.

“No. Sayo-san… No. Sayo. I have to do this.”

Thump… thump…

Soohyun’s voice suddenly lowered. In reality, it was an involuntary reaction because her lunch wasn’t sitting well, but unaware of this, Sayo’s heart pounded.

‘Eh, this suddenly… what? Why is she like this? What is this…?’

Sayo tried to ignore her racing heart and calmly replied to Soohyun. And she suddenly started using informal language, even though Soohyun hadn’t given her permission.

Sayo steeled herself and gave Soohyun a piece of her mind. That as a senior Vtuber, Soohyun wasn’t suited for broadcasting.

“O-Okay…”

That’s right.

Sayo was a choro-in.

An easily charmed woman who falls for a girl’s lowered voice.

About three hours later.

Prism Entertainment’s generation 0. A major Vtuber with 1.02 million subscribers.

Seigino Inuko, one of the first to start broadcasting around the time Vtubers emerged.

A black-haired, red-eyed beast-eared girl, a combination of a Wild West sheriff and a Doberman. A Vtuber with a husky voice, a straightforward attitude, and occasional glimpses of a softer side.

In particular, her revolver, “Hatred and War,” which she reveals when faced with someone to ban, was so well-known that it became a meme in other Vtubers’ broadcasts.

Today, too, before starting her broadcast, she checked her email. She valued loyalty over business. If there was a previously arranged advertisement or something, she always followed through.

But there was an email that intrigued her even more than that.

“Huh? This is…”

A proposal from her junior, Shiori Haru, suggesting that she feature Inuko and the controversial White Palette in a sequel to her “Justice Execution Immediate Judgment!” segment.

Justice Execution Immediate Judgment! was one of Inuko’s regular segments, a simple yet provocative concept that appealed to many viewers. When a Vtuber or YouTuber committed a minor offense, a trial was held. If found guilty, a penalty was assigned and enforced during the broadcast.

Like when someone stole or killed in a game, for example. Inuko herself refused to deal with real-life saltiness.

But this case…

“This is tricky~?”

If it was about whether saltiness occurred, then yes, it did, but Inuko didn’t believe this incident warranted her segment. Besides, this was a request from her cute junior, Shiori Haru.

“Alright. Prepare your defense, junior.”

Inuko smirked and replied to the email.

Completely unaware that the seed of a future legend would be revealed on her broadcast…