Chapter 14: The Price of Vulnerability

“White shirt, and… skirt… Would this one be better? The H-line is honestly too provocative for a kid… Yeah, pleated skirts seem more fitting. White? Black? Hmm…”

She mumbled as she held up two skirts, one black and one white, against me alternately.

– U-um, why the sudden focus on clothes…

– … Hyun-ah, do you have any clothes at home?

– 4||?

– When I was organizing last time, I peeked into your closet, and you didn’t have any clothes. Right?

So, let’s go shopping for clothes?

I tried to refuse, but Song Chae-hyun practically dragged me into a clothing store.

And for hours, I was led around by her hand.

“U-um… about the skirt…”

“Huh? Why?”

It’s so embarrassing…

“Ah, got it! Let’s go with the black pleated skirt!”

“A-ah…”

“What, don’t you like skirts?”

“I-I’ve never worn one before… it feels a little awkward, haha…”

At those words, Song Chae-hyun pressed her lips together for a moment.

Maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I saw a hint of sadness flash across her face.

Then, suddenly, she crouched down so that her eyes were level with mine and said,

“Hyun-ah, could you wear it, please? Just as a favor?”

She clasped the skirt in both hands as she spoke.

“I think kids look really cute in skirts, but my second daughter never wears skirts except for her uniform… So I’d really like to see you wear one.”

I’m an adult, though…

“…Eung…”

Feeling a bit of shame creeping in, I twisted uncomfortably.

But looking at her pitiful face, so different from her towering height, my heart softened.

She’s been so nice to me. Surely, I can grant her this much.

After all, what’s the big deal about a skirt? As long as I feel like a guy, it’s fine, right?

I steeled myself and nodded.

“Alright.”

“Really!?”

Song Chae-hyun visibly brightened and almost pushed me into the fitting room.

“I can’t wait to see it! I bet it’ll look amazing on you!”

“Okay, okay, stop pushing me…”

No matter how much I tried to resist, my body yielded too easily to her force.

Somehow, it hurt my pride.

Without really listening to me, she practically shoved me into the fitting room.

And then, she came in, too.

“Huh, what?”

The fitting room was suddenly cramped with both of us inside.

If I took up one-third of the space, she took up the other two-thirds.

But…

Up close, she looked even bigger.

Facing her chest, it felt like it might press into me at any moment, so I had to tilt my head up to avoid it.

“W-why did you come in?”

The size difference between us, mixed with a slight fear, made me stutter.

“Huh? To help you change, of course.”

“W-what…?”

Her ridiculous statement made me step back, only to bump into the mirror.

This woman is serious.

Considering how she even taught me how to wear a sanitary pad by hand, she’s definitely serious this time too.

But not this time…!

Gritting my teeth, I pushed Song Chae-hyun away.

“This, this is really not okay!”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed…”

“N-no! It’s embarrassing!”

Song Chae-hyun pouted at my intense reaction, but she backed off obediently, leaving me alone.

“Hu, huff…”

I hadn’t even used much strength, but my breathing was already heavy. Still, I was relieved. I almost exposed my white underwear…

Panting, I quickly changed my clothes, worried she might barge back in. I took off my sweatpants and pulled the pleated skirt up, fastening the button on my right side.

Then, I threw off my hoodie, put on the shirt, buttoned it quickly, and rushed out.

Somehow, being alone with her in that tight space felt like my pride was being crushed.

A mix of admiration and fear overwhelmed me. But stepping outside meant I’d be showing her how I looked in the skirt, right?

The thought made me a little nervous. There was shame, yes, but there was also… something else.

“I-I’m out…”

As I stepped out of the cozy fitting room, the cool air from the store’s air conditioning swept over my legs. The unfamiliar sensation made me squirm and repeatedly tug at the hem of the skirt.

“How… do I look?”

I tried my best to hide my anxiety as I spoke.

I don’t like skirts.

But if she said it didn’t suit me, I might get a little hurt. Why did I even think that?

“Oh my…”

She lightly placed a fist against her lips, scanning me from head to toe.

“You look so pretty, Hyun-ah.”

“R-really?”

Her words brought a sense of relief. And… a bit of happiness, too.

“But, is it okay? This outfit…”

Song Chae-hyun’s expression turned a bit serious as she mumbled under her breath.

“There’s nothing exposed except your legs, but… why does it feel so provocative?”

At her words, I glanced at the mirror nearby.

The white shirt matched my pale skin and complemented my grayish hair. In contrast, the slightly short black pleated skirt accentuated my thin, pale legs.

Hmm.

It does look a bit… provocative.

Now I understand what she meant.

Looking at it from a guy’s perspective, I can see it even more clearly.

It’s sexy…!

My face started to heat up a little.

“I-I’ll go change. This is just too…”

“No, it’s fine!”

Song Chae-hyun nodded earnestly.

“You know, kids these days dress like this a lot. You should try styling yourself a bit too, Hyun-ah.”

She seemed to notice that I wasn’t comfortable wearing it.

Then just tell me not to wear it.

But maybe she misunderstood, thinking I said I’d go change because I felt down after seeing her subtle reaction.

She’s so unnecessarily kind…

It makes it hard to refuse.

“Ha… Yeah, you’re right. I wanted to wear it.”

And with that, I ended up nodding.

A lump forms in my throat.

She’s still so kind.

But I’ve ended up like this.

Song Chae-hyun patted my head and spoke energetically.

“Alright, shall we go eat now? We’ve been walking around a lot to buy clothes, so you must be hungry, right?”

“Yes!”

I nodded with a smile.

We headed to a burger place that Song Chae-hyun frequented.

I ordered one burger set, while she ordered one burger set and an extra single burger.

I used to be able to eat two, but with this body, it seemed difficult, so I only ordered one.

But even that was hard to finish, and I started feeling full, planning to apologize and leave some behind.

“Can I eat the rest?”

-Huh?

Song Chae-hyun happily devoured the remaining burger and fries.

…

Maybe it’s because she’s used to taking care of her younger siblings.

But watching her enjoy the food so much, I thought maybe she was just hungry.

Perhaps she needs a lot of calories due to her height.

It seemed a little admirable.

Even when I offered to clean up, she insisted on taking my tray too and threw it away.

After that, we went outside and decided to take a walk to help digest the food.

“It was really delicious.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Smiling at my words, Song Chae-hyun patted my head again.

I started to gradually feel it.

Being treated like a kid wasn’t great, but…

Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

…

Did my preferences really flip so easily like this?

As I was thinking about that, I quietly accepted her touch.

Then she clapped her hands once as if she had remembered something.

“Oh! Right. The ice cream at that burger place is really good. I almost forgot.”

“R-Really?”

Ice cream!

I wanted it…

Just thinking about it made my mouth water.

No matter how full I was, I could always make room for sweets.

I wasn’t this fond of sweets before, though.

Seeing my face, Song Chae-hyun laughed awkwardly.

“You seem to really like it. I’ll go get some, so wait here for a bit, okay?”

“A…”

Feeling a bit guilty, I reached out for a second, but she was already too far away.

With her long legs, she quickly disappeared into the distance.

Following her advice, I waited on the street.

Then suddenly, I caught sight of my reflection in the glass of a nearby clothing store.

I saw myself, wearing a shirt and pleated skirt, reflected faintly in the window.

Feeling guilty about her awkward reaction earlier, Song Chae-hyun had complimented me repeatedly, saying it looked good, that I’d look pretty wearing it, both at the burger place and while we walked.

Honestly though, I thought it looked good too.

…

A skirt… Maybe it’s not so bad…

But isn’t this wrong?

…

Or maybe not.

Men feel good when they see something pretty.

If the one being pretty is me, and I can always see myself, then it’s only natural to like it, right?

As I rationalized my strange feelings, I started feeling better.

Yeah. It’s normal to be afraid of negative reactions.

It’s natural to feel bad if I get belittled.

So, I’m not strange.

Thinking that way, I felt better and started walking around briskly.

People’s eyes were on me.

It was a little overwhelming, but I didn’t mind it that much.

I found myself slightly, just slightly, enjoying their gazes as I wandered around.

But then.

“Oh.”

As I turned to walk again, I bumped into someone.

Though I was the one who bumped into them, they were fine, and I nearly fell backward.

Barely regaining my balance, I saw two men staring down at me.

And on one man’s chest, a stain from spilled iced coffee.

“Uh, uh…”

My throat tightened.

“Ah, f*ck…”

The man in the navy shirt cursed, looking down at his soaked chest.

Hearing that, my heart sank.

‘Uh, excuse me. I know it was my fault, but why are you swearing?’

…

That’s what I would’ve confidently said in the past, but now…

I couldn’t say a word.

“Ah, ah…”

Only meaningless sounds escaped my lips.

“Ah, what are you doing? This f*cking…”

The man brushed at his navy shirt, trying to wipe away the liquid.

The harsh atmosphere began drawing the attention of the people around us.

Fear turned into rising shame.

“Hey!”

“Hic…!”

At his loud voice, my shoulders flinched dramatically. My heart sank again.

It was pounding rapidly. My breathing started to become shallow.

I wished he wouldn’t be so angry.

It was terrifying. Far too aggressive. The presence in front of me felt like a towering mountain.

So, with my vision starting to blur and my head lowered, I spoke in a shaky voice.

“Hic… I’m sorry… Please stop getting angry…”

The man in the navy shirt looked at the man beside him, who was wearing a brown sweatshirt, and smirked.

Then, he turned to me with a frown.

“This shirt was really expensive, you know. It’s ruined now. Do you think you can pay for it?”

P-Pay for it?

Did I really need to compensate him?

“H-How much is it?”

I barely managed to speak, holding back my tears.