I Decided to Stay Single Forever… (3 Hours Before I Fell in Love)

Everyone…

I’ve made a decision just now.

I’ve decided to be a lifelong single dog.

—— Opening Thunderclap —— Opening Thunderclap —— Opening Thunderclap ——

Hey, don’t rush to spam “Opening Thunderclap.”

I have my reasons for deciding to be a lifelong single dog.

And the reason is—

Love is such a hassle, marriage is such a hassle, raising kids is such a hassle.

I think being alone is happier, and also saves more money.

Yeah, that’s it.

I think the reasons are sufficient enough, right?

—— That’s something only someone who’s never experienced love, never been married, and never had kids would say ——

What? That’s something only someone who’s never experienced love, never been married, and never had kids would say?

So, if I actually tried it, I’d be able to feel the beauty in it?

—— How would you know without trying? ——

Heh…

Try…

I just won’t.

I already think it’s troublesome now, so why should I go and try something I find troublesome?

What if, in the end, I find it really is troublesome and regret it?

It’s not like shopping on Taobao, where you can return it if you’re not satisfied…

Oh, sorry, there really might be scumbags who ‘return’ their love, their marriage, or even after having kids.

—— Scumbag —— Scumbag —— Scumbag ——

Yeah, I don’t like those irresponsible scumbags either.

And I don’t want to become that kind of irresponsible scumbag…

So?

—— Streamer, won’t you feel lonely? ——

Lonely…

Probably, yes.

That’s only human.

Humans are social animals, after all. Our DNA dictates we’re not meant to live alone.

—— Then why not find a girlfriend? ——

Good, I knew you’d ask that.

Let me find that meme image… Hmm, couldn’t find it.

Does any silly group member have it to send me… Ah, forget it, I’ll just draw one for you on the spot.

Okay… OK, now add a dialogue box, write a line…

“Why don’t you dodge the bullet? Aren’t you afraid of dying?”

—— LOL —— LMAO —— LOL (Bilingual Chinese-Japanese) ——

This… I don’t need to explain it, right…

I think there’s probably no one who doesn’t want a girlfriend. Everyone wants one, they just can’t find one, period…

—— That hurts, bro ——

—— Fellow sufferers, why torment each other ——

—— Even Hachiman got a girlfriend, my youth is over ——

—— My youth never even started, period ——

—— There once was a sincere love before me ——

—— Uh, but I have a girlfriend… ——

—— Die! ——

—— Execute! ——

—— Real-life player, explode! ——

—— FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ——

Uh…

Hey, don’t spam the screen with ‘F’s…

Ha…

Sorry, it was my fault for bringing up this topic.

Let’s end the stream here for today. Good night, everyone.

………………

…………

……

After turning off the streaming camera, I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my temples.

It was pretty nice seeing so many bullet comments all of a sudden on my usually low-key drawing stream.

Probably because touching on a sensitive topic resonated with many fellow males.

Actually, there are quite a few people online who mock themselves as single dogs, declaring they’ll be lifelong single dogs.

Compared to famous streamers who’ve become memes, I’m just an unknown small fry.

But I wasn’t just saying this to ride the wave of popularity, nor was I joking.

I really do plan on being a lifelong single dog.

To be more precise, I plan on being a lifelong virgin.

I’ve thought about it very seriously for a long time, and finally made this important decision that will shape my life.

So, to state it solemnly once more, I intend to maintain my virginity forever.

This resolve is different from those who jokingly say, “I’ll stay a virgin until thirty and become a Great Mage.”

I don’t just want to become a Great Mage, I want to become the highest level Demon King… No! Demon God!

“…”

Turning to look back at my empty room, I felt a bit embarrassed.

Better stop the chuunibyou speech here. Anyway, my determination is that strong.

Let me clarify beforehand, I’m not gay. I have zero interest in men.

Actually, my interest in beautiful girls is much higher than the average person’s.

However…

Limited to the 2D world.

It’s not that real-life women are all ugly… Actually, there’s a super beautiful woman living near me.

But how should I put it? 3D beauties are just nice to look at, but 2D beauties…

are my waifus!

Exactly! And these waifus are crafted by my own hands!

Okay, the main reason that truly made me decide to be a lifelong virgin is my profession.

I’m an illustrator.

To put it simply and bluntly, I draw lewd pictures.

That’s right!

I’m the real-life version of Mr. Ero-Manga!

Fellow males, that picture you often use as… material… might very well be drawn by me.

Fellow silly group members, those lewd pics you share in the group chats might be stolen from my work.

No need to be shy. If you guys find my pictures useful, that’s my honor… It proves my pictures are lewd enough, right?

Yeah, diving into the industry to draw lewd pics to build a name isn’t just talk. I now support myself by taking on freelance illustration jobs.

Honestly, getting to where I am now wasn’t easy at all…

Because I’m an ordinary person.

I have no talent.

From only being able to draw stick figures to now being able to draw lewd pics of beautiful girls, I’ve put in double the effort.

All made up for through hard work.

The passion that kept me going until now is my ability to fantasize.

Yes, the fantasy power only a virgin possesses!

Because I have no personal experience, I can rely entirely on fantasy!

Precisely because I’m also a virgin, I can empathize and understand what they want…

Yes!

We, real men, rely on this positive, uplifting virgin spirit to spark creative inspiration and fuel our motivation!

Aren’t you guys moved?!

So, for the benefit of all my fellow males, I’ve decided to sacrifice myself, give up the small self for the greater good!

This! Is the most noble cause!

Sacrificing myself for the happiness of tens of thousands!

How…

Okay, I can’t keep up the bravado.

It’s not that noble, really. Thinking like this just makes me feel a little better.

But creation does require imagination and inspiration, that’s true.

I don’t know about others, but I need to maintain a high level of passion to draw.

If I actually experienced it… I’m afraid I’d lose that passion.

Every man should have experienced it, right? That feeling of emptiness after… you know.

In sage mode, what I draw is a pile of S-H-I-T.

As an ordinary person, if I even lose the driving force for hard work, I’d just be a walking corpse.

Besides that, there’s another main reason…

I absolutely, positively, totally, utterly, completely, particularly HATE NTR elements.

To the point where just seeing the three letters N-T-R makes me involuntarily bare my teeth.

And in reality, humans are creatures that can so easily get tired of the old and fall for the new.

So, leaving aside whether I could stay true to my original intention and keep drawing after getting a girlfriend…

Even if I did get a girlfriend, I’m not confident I could make the relationship work.

Could a boring guy like me really make a woman happy?

I don’t have that confidence.

And my fragile little heart definitely couldn’t withstand the devastating mental blow of seeing the person I love run off with another man.

If I suffered that calamity, I’d probably never be able to pull myself together again.

Getting depression from it, or even ending up on the road to ruin, wouldn’t be impossible…

But in the end, this is all just my own reasoning.

Remembering that bullet comment from earlier.

—— How would you know without trying? ——

Gotta say, that’s true.

But I dare not try.

This job is very important to me right now.

Having been cooped up for so long, my body is now so weak I get out of breath climbing to the fifth floor.

I’m not quite a fat otaku yet, but I have zero muscle… I do go to the gym sometimes, but it’s very sporadic.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, with my current physical condition.

Doing manual labor like carrying bricks, or staying up all night gaming as a booster, is impossible now.

If I forced myself, I’d definitely kick the bucket.

My current comfortable, solitary life all depends on drawing…

So…!

For the sake of my fairly decent otaku life right now, I’m determined to maintain my virginity!

But, having said all that… it’s really just me talking to myself.

Because there’s another very realistic problem…

A home security guard like me simply has no opportunity to meet women…

Hehehe…

Heh…

Ha…

Tragic.

Summary:

Me → Otaku | Virgin | Single Dog

Hopeless case.

…

At this moment, there were still three hours and thirty-five minutes until I would meet her.

But let me take back my words in advance.

I’m in love.

No, let me be more excited…

Hahahaha! I’m not a single dog anymore, Uncle!