Chapter 1: “Let’s take a look at the hitchhikers wandering in the magical range from Yellow 1, 2 to Orange rank”

Title: Let’s take a look at the hitchhikers wandering through the Yellow 1, 2 ~ Orange grade devil’s zone. -Introduction-

Author: Grandma Puffed Rice Thief Kim Sang-hyun

Content:

Re-Ha (which stands for Rainbow Tales Hi)

Hello, Rete-gallery folks.

Today, we’re going to take a look at the named characters of the Yellow 1, 2 ~ Orange grade.

But before that, it’s already been 10 years since Rete opened, and it’s become a national game that everyone has tried at least once.

But since my posts keep getting exported to other places, I’ll explain things in a way that even people who don’t know the game at all can understand.

Rainbow Tales is a third-person battle fighting AOS game.

There are various types of maps, but the basic concept is that you win by protecting your base and stealing the core at the heart of the enemy’s base.

As for the world-building… we’ll skip over that.

Just think of it as traditional medieval fantasy with swords, magic, and holy powers, like you’d commonly imagine.

In this game, there’s no strict distinction of classes, so it’s possible to do things like having a guy with a sword cast a fireball.

Of course, if you don’t select a staff or orb as your weapon, your mana output and power drastically decrease, and standing in the middle of a battlefield chanting a spell can easily get you stabbed in the gut.

But it’s not impossible.

In other words, it’s not efficient.

That’s why most people stick to playing true to their roles.

Yes, I wanted to talk about the difference in the weapons, armor, and starting equipment of the five basic classes we commonly refer to: warrior, rogue, mage, archer, and priest.

And within those classes, there’s another layer of roles.

As you know, not all mages use the same kind of magic, right?

There are some who use swords, others who use spears.

You might sneak up on a longbow user, only to get ruined by someone rapid-firing a small crossbow at you.

If starting equipment divides the classes, then attributes divide things like swords and spears, and fire and water.

In Rete, after matchmaking is done and during the waiting time, you can choose your weapon and then select 1 main attribute and 9 sub-attributes that match the weapon.

The main attributes differ by class.

Rogues typically have the least with 3 options, and mages have the most with 8.

Most classes have 4 to 5 options.

As for sub-attributes… I checked the database, and there are 851 in total.

When did they add so many?

Anyway, all classes select 9 sub-attributes from that pool of 851.

So you can pick a greatsword as your starting weapon, choose the main attribute of a warrior, and then load up your sub-attributes with magic-related options.

You could even go full magic build and play as a spell-sword.

Or you could play as a mage who uses all elements, including white and black magic.

You’d be versatile, but the problem is you’d be mediocre at everything…

But when you first create your Rete account and start your first game, everything is locked.

If you pick the starting warrior build, you begin with a light chainmail armor, a long sword, and a round shield.

You can’t switch to something like a spearman or a greatsword warrior.

At this point, the attributes are locked, and you can’t change your starting equipment.

This applies to all classes.

A red orb and a crimson mage’s robe.

That’s the starting equipment for a mage.

Your main attribute is already set to Pyromancy-Fire,

and your sub-attributes are set to things like Fire Affinity, Crimson Flame Desire, Familiar = Salamander, and Cast Acceleration to boost fire magic efficiency.

You manage mana consumption with attributes like Mana Insight, Mana Flask, and Mana Control.

You also have things like High-Level Spell Detection and Interdimensional Dagger to counter enemy mages and resist in close combat to a minimum degree.

In short, you’re stuck as a standard fire mage.

This trait restriction is lifted every 10 levels, and some difficult-to-use traits only unlock at higher levels.

For example, there’s a sub-trait called “Last Ditch Effort.”

It’s a trait that, just before you die—when your HP is around 1-2%—restores all penalties from maximum stamina reduction, speed, and reaction loss accumulated from pain.

It sounds good in theory, but in most battles, getting hit with a sword once easily drops your HP by 10-20%, and just being countered by an archer or a mage can kill you instantly.

It’s really hard to make good use of it since it activates when you’re down to a sliver of HP.

Even players who build Berserker classes rarely use this trait, so its pick rate is quite low.

You shouldn’t mess with it just because you’re curious and end up trolling. Instead, use it when you’re familiar enough with the game.

Ah, this post has gotten too long. I’ll continue in the next one.

ᄂ (Roughly an emoji of someone sleeping)

ᄂ Does anyone not know this?

ᄂ Comment has been deleted.

ᄂ There must be a newbie reading this at 3 a.m., right???

ᄂ Comment has been deleted.

ᄂ Comment has been deleted.

ᄂ Comment has been deleted.

ᄂ This guy is deleting comments, tsk.

Title: Let’s take a look at the hitchhikers wandering through the Yellow 1, 2 ~ Orange grade devil’s zone. -Main Body-

Author: Grandma Puffed Rice Thief Kim Sang-hyun

Continued from the previous part.

Link: http:-

Anyway, once you reach level 50, the final trait lock is removed, and you can start playing ranked games.

From levels 1 to 50 and the first 5 placement matches for ranked games, it’s called “No Color.”

After that, based on your MMR, you move up through Purple, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Red.

It’s commonly said that Yellow 1 is the highest rank that ordinary people can reach.

From Orange onwards, you’ll occasionally see pro players.

At this point, the sub-rank distinctions of 1, 2, 3, and 4 disappear, so if someone says they’re Orange 1 or Red 3, know they don’t really understand.

Then there’s the highest tier.

Rainbow.

Unlike the other tiers, Rainbow has a fixed capacity of 200 players.

If the 201st player surpasses the score of the 200th, the player at 200th place is demoted to Red.

It’s truly the dream rank.

There are 4 million accounts in Korea that can play ranked games, and only 200 of them can reach Rainbow tier.

That means only 0.005% of Rete players make it to Rainbow.

Alright, enough with the explanation.

Let’s get to the main topic.

What we’re going to look at are the “Wraiths of Orange,” those who couldn’t become Red.

When people talk about rampaging players, they’re usually referring to these guys.

They’re much better than ordinary players, and they’ve invested so much time into the game that they’ve played hundreds or even thousands of matches per season.

But because of their vague talent and luck, they hover between Orange and Yellow 1, 2, the ghosts of Rete.

Many of them have integrated the game into their real life because they play so much that they don’t have time for real life anymore, and many of them are streamers.

Shall we take a look at the exceptional ones among them?

1. Berserker.

“What the hell is my team doing?”

Real name: Kim Sang-hyun (emphasized).

This is the streamer who made me write this post.

His nickname is Berserker.

You could say it’s a rare nickname.

He’s one of the fossil players who started playing as soon as this game came to Korea, so he probably snagged that nickname first.

His streaming handle is also Berserker, and you can just call him Berserker or Sang-hyun.

To explain about this guy, he’s one of those insane players who hasn’t taken a break from Rete in over 10 years.

His total rank stats show over 20,000 games played.

What’s even more shocking is that, true to his nickname, Berserker only ever plays Berserker builds.

In ranked games, you can ban one weapon, one main trait, and several sub-traits (which vary by battlefield), allowing you to either counter or completely block dangerous builds.

Knowing that Berserker only plays Berserker builds, snipers who target his stream would ban most of the traits he frequently uses, and even ban the greatsword, which is practically his signature weapon.

But Berserker wasn’t discouraged.

He picked a trait called Shield Mastery, focusing on using a shield, selected Last Ditch Effort and Feast of Blood, which are usually seen as terrible sub-traits, and played a pretend Berserker build.

He carried that game, and it became a famous story.

Of course, he never once used parrying in that game.

In fact, it’s questionable if Berserker can even use advanced techniques like parrying.

His playstyle is more insane than even the Berserker in the game.

He charges forward relentlessly and mows down the enemy in front of him.

His build is specialized for frontal assaults, and with his unique sense, he rarely loses.

True to his name, if he gets into the zone, he has the potential to take down two or three enemies in one go.

But since he typically only wears light armor and has no magic resistance, he always takes heavy damage when facing archers or mages.

You can tell right away that the enemy’s ranged units are aiming arrows and spells at him.

But he charges straight ahead without thinking and gets himself killed.

Then his comment is the same as the one in the first paragraph: “Ayy, what’s my team even doing?”

This is the main reason why the Berserker is stuck wobbling around Yellow ranks 1 and 2.

He just doesn’t have a brain.

It’s like he’s a real-life berserker or something.

When the game enters a split-push situation, he freezes up and can’t figure out the right timing to rejoin his team.

Often giving up key objectives or even the core base itself.

This happens all the time.

If you’re facing him, I recommend avoiding a direct fight.

Outsmart him with a more tactical approach.

Then enjoy watching his stream where he screams in agony.

It’s quite satisfying.

Not that I’m saying I’m a stream sniper or anything.

1. One Arrow
   “That’s the dream of every Orange-tier player.”

As you can tell from the nickname, this guy’s an archer player.

Not sure if it’s a secondary account.

But he created it last season.

Finished with 98 points in Orange.

Now sits at 0 points in Yellow 4.

His playstyle is one thing, but his personality is… something else.

The fact that he plays like someone in Orange tier but stays in Yellow 4 tells you everything.

You think it’s just a lack of games?

Nah, man, even though it’s near the end of the preseason, he’s played 450 matches in two months.

Only a true, crazy game addict could pull that off.

From what I can tell, his skill level is equivalent to, or even beyond, Orange-tier.

He could potentially make it to Red tier.

But there’s a reason he’s stuck in Yellow 4.

He’s an expert at griefing ranked climbs.

People call him a “Yeti.”

One day, during a stream, he suddenly said: “I will free Orange 0-pointers and Yellow 1 players from the terror of Yellow 4.

I will liberate the ranked community from suffering…”

Then he went on a spree of throwing games, intentionally trolling his way down to Yellow 4.

“The only salvation… is to euthanize all of Yellow 4.

I must stop anyone from being promoted from Green 1…”

You can still find the clip that seems to have sparked this madness.

It’s from a match where his crucial mistake dropped him from Orange down to Yellow 1.

Immediately after, he lost it.

(Little kid voice donation in the background) “Hey Arrow-hyung, I’m in Yellow 4 too!

We’re friends now, right?

Kekruru bingbong.”

“Shut the **** up with that outdated ****!

You wanna die, ***?”

If you’re about to play a promotion match from Green 1 to Yellow, I highly recommend watching his stream beforehand.

Ignore my advice, and if you end up getting matched with him — whether he’s on your team or the enemy’s — you’re going to lose that promotion match.

1. King of Vitality, Park Geuntae
   “Hey, **** you guys, it’s a typo, okay?”

King of Vitality, Park Geuntae.

His main job?

Spirit Master.

He’s played over 5,000 games as a Spirit Master.

He’s often compared to the Berserker guy.

But he started playing in Season 6, so he’s no slouch when it comes to gaming hours.

There were no Spirit Masters in the game until he came along.

Did the game devs patch him in?

Nope, that’s not it.

Spirit Master is a job class that exists only in Korea.

No one else in the world plays it.

And frankly, no one would touch Spirit Master unless they were one of his diehard followers.

As I mentioned, the game’s classes are defined by their weapon choices and traits.

For some reason, King of Vitality, Park Geuntae, didn’t want to play any of the preexisting classes.

He’s the kind of guy who ruined his life because of a weird obsession.

He takes the main trait that elemental mages typically choose, “Understanding of the Cosmos,” and his secondary traits include:

• Familiar = Salamander
• Familiar = Undine
• Familiar = Sylphid
• Familiar = Gnome
• Familiar = Shade
• Familiar = Will-o’-the-Wisp

Plus, Familiar Affinity, Familiar Bond, and Mana Flask.

Honestly, he’s not a Spirit Master — he’s more like a Summoner.

Just don’t call him that in his chat, or you’ll get banned.

As much of a joke as his build is, he’s still good enough to make it work sometimes and even earn MVP awards.

If you’re the kind of person who genuinely believes that if he just played a proper mage build, he would be a pro by now, then you have what it takes to become one of his devoted fans.

He believes his build is perfect, and if any part of it — weapons, main traits, or secondary traits — gets banned, he’ll instantly dodge the game.

He insists it’s a gentlemanly move to dodge when his signature build gets banned, out of consideration for his team.

But what he doesn’t seem to realize is that sticking to such a trash build is what really makes him inconsiderate to his teammates.

1. Haribo
   “So, what’s your rank?”

“No, what’s your highest tier?”

This player, despite currently hovering around Yellow 1–2, once reached the prestigious Red rank.

Unlike the other rampaging players I’ve introduced so far, his career trajectory is quite different.

Sure, he only barely reached Red with 0 points and was quickly demoted, but Red is still Red, isn’t it?

Even though his KDA during the climb from Orange to Red was abysmal — 0/8/1, 0/6/5, 1/11/3, 4/5/0, 2/9/5, 0/3/0, 2/7/1, seven consecutive games of feeding while getting carried hard by his teammates — Red is still Red, right?

Even professionals sometimes slip when reaching Red, so it’s an achievement in itself. Luck is part of skill, after all.

…This is the kind of mindset Haribo carries like a creed.

If the game goes slightly awry or he gets backseat-gamed or faces any form of discord, he stops playing properly and starts typing out things like the above in chat.

Oh, and by the way, this guy is a hardcore mage player, but he sure can run.

Huh? What kind of running?

Obviously, I’m talking about running headlong into the enemy base.

Beware of the secondary trait he always locks into his build: Swift Footwork.

It’s not to ensure his own survival.

It’s to shield himself from the insults and curses of his teammates, like a hedgehog’s spines.

If you’re not planning to avoid voice chat or team chat entirely, I recommend dodging if you ever find yourself matched with him.

1. Sekaiichi-ban
   “I’m not playing anymore.”

The moment you see this player’s name, it reeks of “weeb,” doesn’t it?

Even if you don’t know the other four players, there isn’t a single player in the game who doesn’t know about Sekaiichi-ban.

His time banned from the game far exceeds his time playing it.

He’s the god of all trolls.

That’s the true identity of the player known as Sekaiichi-ban.

His trolling doesn’t begin in-game.

When the game starts, your teammates can see your gear and main traits, but your secondary traits aren’t revealed until the game actually starts, right?

If Sekaiichi-ban gets in a bad mood, or if he recognizes a teammate he’s had a fight with before, or even if he’s just feeling sour for some random reason…

Quietly, secretly, without anyone knowing or being able to stop him, he’ll…

Equip all his secondary traits with useless junk.

And without saying a word, he’ll charge into the enemy base.

His running skills are on par with Haribo’s.

Dodging incoming bombs and spells while reaching the gates of the enemy’s base and dying a glorious death can almost be described as an art form.

If only he channeled that skill into helping his team win, he might actually make it beyond Red to Rainbow rank.

…Well, that’s just wishful thinking.

Beware of him.

Don’t try to appease him just because he’s a famous troll.

He’s fickle.

Staying silent won’t work either.

Don’t act too excited, don’t criticize your teammates, and definitely don’t praise Sekaiichi-ban.

It’s like you’re playing a mafia game, trying to convince him not to kill you.

Just hope that you — and the rest of your team — manage to win his favor.

If you do, then you might just secure a win.

1. Saintess
   “Hicc, what are you going to do to me? Drag me somewhere dark and do something perverted…?”

“Mmm, do it faster! Getting my head stepped on feels good, hug me, smack my butt…”

She’s insane.

Or rather, he’s insane.

There’s no way a woman would say stuff like that in a game.

I’d bet both of my balls on it.

Those cringeworthy lines are like a trademark that comes out whenever she (he) makes it to the backline, to the priests.

Her character customization is… pretty convincing, to be honest.

Actually, when it comes to customization, nobody can beat her.

This game’s graphics are pretty realistic, you know?

There was a massive graphics update a couple of years ago, so the requirements are quite high, and with no preset options, character customization is tough.

Getting the facial muscles and bone structure right is especially tricky — mess up one little thing, and the bones will be sticking out in all the wrong places.

But this… person… is a god when it comes to customization.

As infamous as they are, their character is gorgeous.

That sharp gaze, the high nose bridge, the lips…

And under that neat nun’s habit is a body that’s just… perfectly…

…But once you realize there’s a guy behind all that, it just ruins everything.

And don’t even get me started on those lines.

Is the “saintess” really a “s*x-tress”?

It makes me sick.

You can tell from the nickname alone, right?

The nickname is none other than “Saintess.”

Sometimes, Berserker tells stories about how he couldn’t get the nickname “Warrior” and had to settle for “Berserker” instead.

Judging by that, this person must be a real hardcore player too.

From what I know, this person has been spewing nonsense like “violate me” ever since I first encountered them.

That means they’ve been maintaining this crazy persona for ten years.

Seriously, what a nutcase.

Sometimes, I feel like this person is even crazier than Berserker.

Berserker may be a one-trick pony with his build, but at least he adjusts his secondary traits according to the situation and battlefield to maximize his win rate.

But this crazy person doesn’t do any of that.

Even Berserker’s brainless plays don’t go that far.

It’s not like they’re attached to some unique build they’ve created themselves, like Stamina King Park Geun-tae.

This person just uses the default priest traits you get at level 1.

Those default traits can’t be banned…

And for over 8,000 games, this person has stuck to that same default build, keeping up this crazy persona.

Yeah, seriously.

She’s using some trash heal that requires insane aim.

And what’s terrifying is that she lives up to her nickname.

Despite that trash heal, she heals better than most priests.

Her heals arrive at just the right time during critical moments.

With the healing she provides, the player’s HP is left with just 1–2% when taking the next hit, allowing them to survive.

That 1–2% figure… doesn’t it sound familiar?

Yeah, damn it.

That ultimate desperation trait.

This is why Berserker loves this netkama (someone pretending to be the opposite gender online).

No matter how brain-dead his plays are, she ensures he doesn’t die, letting him fight without worrying about injuries or stamina penalties.

At that moment, Berserker becomes invincible.

And Saintess is a god.

But why is such a great healer stuck at Yellow 1 with 50 points?

…You know that priest default traits are considered trash because five of the secondary traits are for melee combat, right?

Sure, I get that the developers probably added traits like mace mastery to give priests a “crusader” feel.

I also understand why they gave priests self-defense traits — arrows or spells could hit them even in the backline.

And it makes sense to have awareness traits, just in case a rogue tries to ambush them.

I get all that.

But apparently, this person didn’t.

When the formation breaks or the frontline collapses and someone charges at her, she could easily counter-attack since five of her traits are for melee combat.

I’m not asking her to win the fight.

She’s a priest, after all.

But at least hold off the enemy long enough for respawning teammates to come to her aid.

This crazy person? No such thing.

She’ll spit out her trademark cringe dialogue and die obediently, like a woman opening her legs for her husband who’s come home after ten years of exile.

So yeah, this idiot doesn’t use any of her five secondary traits.

Does that even make sense?

Even most pro trainees can’t get to Yellow 1 if they’re sealing off five of their secondary traits.

I have no idea why she does this.

So, if you ever encounter Saintess in the game…

If she’s on your team, just keep her safe.

Don’t let her get anywhere near the enemy.

The moment she starts typing in chat about wanting to be violated or offering herself up, your mental state will take a serious hit.

If she’s on the enemy team, stick to her.

Turn her into a sacrificial lamb, and the victory will be yours.

She does stream, though.

Not that she’s popular.

Her average viewer count is usually in the tens.

At her peak, she apparently had around 60 viewers.

Well, who could blame her?

She doesn’t want to interact with anyone, she’s too busy with her persona, she doesn’t use a mic, there’s no camera, and there’s nothing fun or useful to learn from her streams other than her trash heal aim.

Unless you’re a hardcore priest player, there’s no reason to watch this netkama.

Anyway, this guide to the hitchhikers of Yellow and Orange ends here.

I made it hoping that you wouldn’t end up emotionally scarred like I did after encountering these trolls.

Comments Section:

• What kind of battles have you fought, teacher?
• Comment deleted.
• I think I know who this is.
• Who?
• Gwangdong Sledgehammer. They’re writing as if they’re not a troll themselves.
• Speculation
• Comment deleted.
• Looks like they’re deleting comments with their own username in them. Guess it’s not Gwangdong Sledgehammer.

• Random Spam:
• Kim Sang-hyun!
• Kim Sang-hyun!
• Kim Sang-hyun!
• Kim Sang-hyun!
• Kim Sang-hyun!

The Berserker and Saintess combo is truly legendary…

I heard Saintess has gotten her act together lately. She’s dropped her persona.

No way!

Seriously!

If you even look at her, she claims it’s sexual harassment and breaks your head.

└ Wow. I’ve never seen a priest fight that well.

I’m telling you! I looked up her stats, and she’s still stuck at Yellow 1. If she heals well and can handle melee combat, why is she still in the same spot?

└ Because she breaks her teammates’ heads too.

LOL! This netkama is causing chaos all by herself.

My ultimate wish… that is to eradicate all Yellow 4s…

Has an arrow finally come?

What’s so special about Saintess’s customization that the writer praises her so much?

└ She’s just really pretty and has an amazing figure. LOL?

└ Seeing how well netkamas customize their characters can be a bit alluring, is that it?

It’s on a completely different level!

You faggots better leave the gallery immediately!

Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!

Is Saintess’s true form a pathetic nerd drooling over pig bone soup?

This guy is acting like he just realized something that was concluded ages ago. Is he an idiot?