The Absurdity of a Simp’s Awakening

The evening breeze in October still carried a hint of mugginess.

By the time Zhou Yi jogged to Donghai University’s courier station, his fringe was already soaked with sweat.

He carefully clutched the freshly collected package to his chest.

The genuine smile blossoming on his face brought a vibrant life to his otherwise ordinary features.

Pulling out his phone, he checked the time.

It was already half-past seven; Xu Yao should be back in her dorm by now, shouldn’t she?

At the thought of her, Zhou Yi’s heart involuntarily quickened a beat.

Truth be told, he had always felt himself unworthy of Xu Yao.

She was the ‘white moonlight’ of their entire department, while he was merely the most inconspicuous student.

The chasm between them was more than just a slight difference.

Yet, everything that had transpired over the past six months made him cling to a hopeful fantasy.

‘Perhaps, he was special in her heart?’

Today was her birthday, and it was also the day he resolved to gather his courage and confess his feelings.

Clutching the gift, he jogged to the girls’ dorm building.

Without even bothering to wipe away his sweat, he eagerly tapped open their pinned chat.

[I’m downstairs from you, come down quickly~]

No sooner had the message been sent than a familiar figure appeared at the stairwell entrance.

Zhou Yi’s eyes lit up as he instantly spotted Xu Yao, dressed in an exceptionally dazzling manner.

He raised his hand, about to call out to her, ‘Yao—’

Before he could even finish, a tall, silver-haired boy darted out from beside the stairwell.

He then wrapped an arm around Xu Yao’s waist in one swift motion.

—’Stop it…’ Xu Yao playfully chided, lightly punching the boy’s chest.

She laughed, tilting her head back to meet his descending kiss.

Zhou Yi had never witnessed such a radiant and bold smile from Xu Yao.

It was a stark contrast to the gentle and shy demeanor she usually displayed in front of him.

His arm, suspended halfway, froze in place.

The courier package slipped from his grasp and hit the ground with a thud.

‘…What was this supposed to be?’

The frequent chats over the past six months, the agonizing nights he’d spent picking out a gift, even the joyous flutter in his chest as he’d jogged here moments ago—all now seemed like an absurd joke.

Silently, he bent down to pick up the dust-stained package.

Then, he turned and walked away.

As he rounded the teaching building, his phone vibrated.

It was Xu Yao’s reply: [Ah? You’re downstairs from me? I was just showering, is something wrong?]

Zhou Yi stared at the words on the screen, then let out a sudden, bitter laugh.

He replied: [Nothing, sent by mistake.]

Indeed, there was nothing left to say.

He wasn’t blind, after all.

After pressing send, he clutched his phone and sprinted towards the sports field.

He had no idea how many laps he ran, only that he kept his head down, running wildly.

He ran until his lungs burned fiercely and his vision blurred with black spots.

Finally, he stumbled, collapsing heavily onto the grass.

He gasped for air, lying sprawled on his back.

Sweat and some warm liquid smeared across his face, while the sparse stars in the night sky fractured into countless pieces in his blurry vision.

Suddenly, a basketball thudded onto the grass beside him.

It bounced twice before rolling to his feet.

—’Thinking about life out here in the dead of night?’

A tall figure overshadowed his vision above.

Jiang Chen stood beside him, having appeared without a sound.

—’None of your business,’ Zhou Yi retorted, turning his face away.

Jiang Chen didn’t seem bothered.

He simply sat cross-legged beside Zhou Yi, pulled two cans of beer from his backpack, and offered one.

—’Want one?’

Zhou Yi stared at the beer can for a moment, then snatched it.

With a sharp hiss, he pulled the tab open.

He tilted his head back and guzzled down a large mouthful, the icy liquid sliding down his throat, leaving a bitter aftertaste.

Jiang Chen had actually spotted him earlier.

Leaving the basketball court, he had seen this guy running like a madman across the field.

‘On a day like today, at this hour, Zhou Yi was actually running on the track?’

Jiang Chen hadn’t called out to him.

Instead, he had quietly turned and gone to the convenience store to grab two cans of beer.

—’Feel better?’ Jiang Chen glanced at him, shaking the half-empty can of beer in his hand.

Without a word, Zhou Yi snatched the can and chugged the rest.

Wiping foam from his lips, he declared, ‘Get me another bottle of Erguotou!’

Jiang Chen chuckled softly.

—’Big talk. Should I cook you a couple of dishes too?’

He stood up, brushed grass clippings from his pants, and stretched.

—’Stop playing dead. Want to head back to the dorms and game?’

Zhou Yi tilted his head back, finishing the last gulp, then crumpled the empty can with a crunch.

He grinned. ‘Alright, loser washes socks for a week.’

The two figures walked across the sports field, one after the other.

The earlier disarray had already melted into the October evening breeze.

****

Zhou Yi blinked, but the sunlight filtering through a gap in the curtains stung his eyes, forcing them shut again.

He groaned in agony, burying his face into his pillow.

His hungover head felt as if it had been run over by a truck.

The back of his skull throbbed rhythmically, and his stomach churned violently.

Before returning to the dorm last night, he had insisted on dragging Jiang Chen to the convenience store to haul back another case of beer.

Now, in hindsight, it felt like a truly impulsive act.

—’If you’re not dead, make a sound.’ Jiang Chen’s voice came, accompanied by the rustling of a plastic bag.

—’I grabbed you some hangover medicine.’

Zhou Yi grudgingly opened one eye. ‘Thanks…’

Jiang Chen clicked his tongue.

He simply pried open Zhou Yi’s hand and slapped the pills onto his palm.

—’With your temperament, trying to drown your sorrows in alcohol?’

As he spoke, he casually twisted open a bottle of water and placed it in Zhou Yi’s hand.

Zhou Yi swallowed the pills without a word.

The cool water sliding down his parched throat was so comforting it made him sigh.

He tilted his head back and chugged another large mouthful of water, then spoke in a hoarse voice.

—’…Why the hell didn’t you stop me last night?’

—’Stop you? Who was it last night, grabbing my collar and insisting on a drinking contest?’ Jiang Chen’s teasing voice drifted from beside him.

Zhou Yi grabbed a pillow and hurled it at him. ‘Shut up!’

Jiang Chen effortlessly caught the pillow and tossed it back onto the bed.

—’I smoothed things over with the advisor for you. Skip any more classes, and you’re looking at failing.’

He slung his backpack over his shoulder. ‘Dad’s off to class.’

Listening to the receding footsteps outside the door, Zhou Yi stared blankly at the ceiling for a while.

The lingering dizziness of his hangover persisted.

Yet, the very scenes he had deliberately tried to drown with alcohol now surfaced with alarming clarity before his eyes.

Frazzled, he sat up and reached for his phone by the pillow.

The screen still displayed yesterday’s message: ‘Nothing, sent by mistake.’

It was then that he suddenly realized how ridiculous he had been over the past six months.

He had scrimped and saved to buy Xu Yao gifts, stayed up late chatting with her, diligently liked and commented on every post she made.

Even a casual ‘Mm-hm’ from her would send him into endless speculation…

And her? She probably just saw him as a mere common fish in her pond, a readily available backup to be summoned and dismissed at will.

Just then, his phone screen lit up with a notification.

It was a message from Jiang Chen: [Dad’s bringing you century egg and lean pork congee for lunch.]

Those few simple words brought a sudden sting to Zhou Yi’s nose.

—’Thanks, bro.’ Zhou Yi replied.

Then, he swiped left on Xu Yao’s chat window and decisively pressed the delete button.

As Xu Yao’s avatar vanished from his contact list, a sense of profound relief washed over him.

‘Even common fish have their limits.’

‘They don’t need to cling to anyone’s fish pond; common fish can thrive anywhere.’

He decided he would download the ‘Emotional Scam Counter-Simulator’.

‘It was time to learn how to capsize those ‘fishing’ boats.’

[Congratulations! Chosen One! You’ve won an SSR Limited Trial Qualification for ‘Simp’s Reversal Plan’!]