The Apocalypse Begins: A System for the Romantically Cursed

With an impassive face, Lin Ran swiped across his phone screen, his finger coming down hard on the avatar labeled [Literary Club Senior Sister].

“Damn it, when I first enrolled, she was the epitome of a ‘white moonlight’ (TL Note: A perfect, unattainable first love, often idealized), yet she turned out to be an extreme vegan. If I so much as added an egg to my instant noodles, she’d pen an eight-hundred-word screed accusing me of murder.”

Delete!

Next, [Classmate Rich Girl].

She’d been swindled out of over a million yuan by a celebrity idol, her family had gone bankrupt, and she’d even dropped out of school. It was a blessing he hadn’t agreed to date her…

Delete! Delete!

Then came the next, labeled [Junior Sister Xia Li], who was a truly formidable contender!

“This woman, she had a beautiful face, winning the Campus Belle title two years in a row.”

“She chased me for three months, and I nearly fell for her. Luckily, a good buddy caught her on camera, showing her sneaking off to the international student dorms every day…”

“Huh? She posted on WeChat Moments…? What does ‘Mike’s baby’s full month’ mean? And this baby… is dark-skinned…?”

Based on the timeline, good heavens, she’d already been pregnant while pursuing him?

The thought sent Lin Ran’s stomach into a violent churn.

Delete! Delete! Delete!

“Freaks! Why are they all freaks? Have I stumbled into a nest of oddballs??”

— This was not the university life he had envisioned at all!

Before entering university, the college life Lin Ran yearned for was simply to fall in love and make a few friends among his dorm mates.

His requirements for a partner weren’t even high —

Female, alive, of sound mind, and someone who wouldn’t leave him ‘wearing a green hat’ (TL Note: A Chinese idiom meaning to be cuckolded).

During his freshman year, fueled by his aspirations for university and romance, he would even actively approach girls.

Yet, after three years, Lin Ran had long since grown numb.

The lingering desire for a relationship was merely a remnant of his childhood dreams, a stubborn执念 (TL Note: An obsession or persistent fixation) that still clung to him.

In truth, he wasn’t bad-looking; he’d even been listed in the Campus Heartthrob rankings for several years, and his personality was generally cheerful. So why did he only ever seem to attract such ‘heavyweight’ contenders?

Was it simply bad luck, or did he possess some peculiar constitution?

In short, he was rapidly forgetting what a ‘normal’ woman even was.

If only he had a roommate now, someone to whom he could pour out his grievances.

But as it stood, let alone finding romance, even making friends with roommates was difficult in this single-occupancy dorm.

Lin Ran collapsed onto his bed, too lethargic to even turn off the light.

Using his arm as a makeshift eye mask, he drifted into a deep sleep.

****

[Ding — Host’s despair value for romance has reached MAX, meeting binding criteria! The Strategy, Romance, Harem System is at your service!]

When Lin Ran was jolted awake by the clear, mechanical voice, he was utterly bewildered.

Outside the window, the sky was already bright.

‘A system…?’

He shot upright, recalling the voice he’d just heard.

His heart hammered wildly in his chest.

Soon, however, he dismissed the thought entirely.

‘What am I even thinking? A system that’s all “gentle” (TL Note: A Japanese loanword, ‘yasashii’, meaning kind or gentle) and then a harem of women revolving around me? I’m not some novel protagonist.’

Stretching, he was about to get up and wash.

‘Hmm…?’

A virtual panel, ethereal and glowing, hovered right beside his bed.

[Host: Lin Ran]

[Race: Human]

[Casanova Level: LV.0 (Experience Required: 0/100)]

[Status: Healthy]

[Attributes: Spirit·9, Strength·7, Agility·8, Charm·10, Luck·-10]

[Skill: Cupid’s Abhorrence (LV.MAX) (Passive): Increases the chance of encountering ‘oddball’ (TL Note: A Chinese slang term for strange, eccentric, or unconventional people) human members of the opposite s*x by 10000%]

[System Evaluation: You’ve had it rough, Host! But please don’t give up on treatment! The system is about to activate, tasks will be issued shortly, and a sweet romance and harem life await you!]

Lin Ran froze for a full minute.

The next second, his vision went black, and he nearly suffocated on the spot.

Immediately, an indescribable mix of grief, indignation, and sudden realization surged through him!

So, for three years since transmigrating, every single person he’d met had been an oddball, and it wasn’t just his bad luck…

(At least, a Luck stat of -10 shouldn’t be *this* unlucky… right?)

It turned out a wretched skill had been screwing him over all along!

He almost spat out a mouthful of ‘old blood’ (TL Note: A common Chinese internet slang term used to express extreme frustration, anger, or shock).

Yet, just as quickly, wild elation displaced his indignation.

A system! He actually had a system!

This was a *system*!

From critically acclaimed masterpieces to struggling web novels.

The ubiquitous ‘golden finger’ (TL Note: A common Chinese web novel trope referring to a cheat, special ability, or powerful advantage given to the protagonist) that came standard with every protagonist!

Heaven had not forsaken him!

His phone vibrated at an inopportune moment.

Lin Ran picked it up and saw it was a friend request from Junior Sister Xia Li, but he couldn’t even be bothered to open it.

With a system now, who would still bother with those oddball women?

What’s more…

[Senior, why did you delete me? Was it a mistake?]

[Senior, Mike suddenly returned to his country two days ago. That baby in my Moments… has no father now, I’m so sad.]

[Senior, actually, I’ve always liked you the most. I was just deceived by Mike. I’ve sobered up now; honest and reliable men like you, Senior, are the most dependable.]

[Senior, you’re such a good person, how could you bear to see a girl like me, with a child, at her wit’s end?]

Wasn’t this clearly an attempt to make him ‘take the fall’ (TL Note: A Chinese slang term, ‘jiepan’, meaning to take over someone else’s mess or responsibility, especially in a relationship with a child from a previous partner)? Who cared about her plight?!

A brand new life was already beckoning to him!

Oddball women? Get lost!!

Shutting off his phone, he sprang from the bed with an excited leap.

After his usual routine of washing and dressing, he prepared to step out and embrace his new life, eager to see what surprises the system would bring him.

— The door wouldn’t open.

The lock wasn’t broken.

After all, he never had a habit of locking his door.

Moreover, he had been so exhausted the previous night that he’d simply fallen asleep with the door ajar.

It was as if an invisible wall had sealed off the outside.

Lin Ran opened his phone, intending to check for updates.

Only then did he realize that the recent vibrations weren’t from his junior sister’s messages.

Instead, they were from the freshman exchange group he’d joined last year, a group that hadn’t seen a single message in what felt like eight hundred years.

The group had exploded, a barrage of messages now pinned to the very top of his screen —

[Multiverse Invasion Apocalypse Game — Officially Commenced]

[First Round of Invading World: Otherworld Continent — Sword & Magic, Demon King & Hero (But the Toilet Paper Edition)]

[First Wave of Monsters: Slimes (The first wave of monsters is very weak~ It’s bonus time~)]

[Wave after wave of monsters will continuously assault all human residences. To prevent you from running around and causing monsters to lose their targets, everyone has been locked in their respective dwellings. An air wall isolates your movements. Please do not attempt to escape~]

[Finally, we wish you all, martial fortune and prosperity.]

There was no sender information, and even administrators couldn’t retract the messages.

Many other students were discussing it below, and Lin Ran felt a chill creep up his spine.

This turn of events… surely it wasn’t… some kind of apocalypse?

From the sink, the toilet, and the bathtub, gelatinous blue slimes wriggled their way out, one after another.

Clearly, the message was real.

Lin Ran’s face darkened.

“System, come out.”

[I am here, please speak~]

“Is this what you meant by ‘sweet romance’? I can’t even leave the door! Is the ‘harem life’ you promised just me and my two hands?”

The system offered no reply, only emitting a series of mechanical whirrs.

Lin Ran no longer had the time or inclination to complain.

This system was clearly useless; ultimately, he would have to rely on himself.

Moreover, the slimes were multiplying.

From the toilet, from the floor drain, even more slimes were emerging.

Lin Ran instinctively grabbed the fruit knife from his desk.

Just then, however, the mechanical whirring in his mind ceased.

[Ding! A high-quality member of the opposite s*x has been detected near the Host! System Newbie Gift Pack has been issued!]

[Congratulations, Host, you have acquired the “Love Detection Eye”!]

[Love Detection Eye: You can view the romance potential value of any member of the opposite s*x. The higher the potential value, the higher the probability that you and the target will embark on a sweet romance.]

“Alright, alright, I get it. You can go play somewhere else for now, old man, or better yet, just shut down completely.”

Lin Ran held absolutely no hope for this romance system in the midst of an apocalypse.

Was he supposed to date these slimes?

This wretched function couldn’t even be turned off, as blue virtual screens popped up from each slime:

[Target: Ordinary Slime (Quite cute)]

[Romance Potential Value: 5 (Bystander level, no feelings whatsoever)]

[Target: Ordinary Slime (Quite strong)]

[Romance Potential Value: 0 (You and it are completely impossible)]

Seriously? It’s actually assigning romance values to slimes?

Humans should be doing human — things!

How could anyone possibly date a slime?!

Did this system not even grasp such basic logic?

This really was a trash system, wasn’t it?!

His gaze swept across the entire dorm room, finally landing on a slime curled up in a corner of the washbasin.

Its body was exceptionally petite, roughly half the size of his fist.

The other slimes, by contrast, were all about half his head in size.

It was distinctly different from its slightly murky counterparts surrounding it.

Its body resembled a piece of blue crystal, pure and translucent, without a single impurity.

Two tiny, black bead-like photoreceptors were tightly shut.

Appearing somewhat timid, its entire body trembled ever so slightly —

It was unclear whether it feared its new environment or the Lin Ran who was intently observing it.

Of course, it wasn’t its superior appearance compared to its kin that drew Lin Ran’s gaze.

It was because…

The system chimed —

[Target: Slime Tot (Rare!)]

[System Evaluation: She is a peerless beauty of the Slime race, rarely seen in ten thousand years, possessing the purest core and the most perfect physique!]

[Romance Potential Value: 99 (A match made in heaven!)]

[System Mission Issued: Conquer the Slime Tot and begin a beautiful romance with her.]

[Mission Reward: All attributes increased by 10%]

?

??

Are you kidding me???

This damn system, are you actually serious?!!

…