The Ninth Apostle’s Mundane Disguise

The young woman slumped on the ground.

She gazed at the brilliant light tearing through the darkness before her.

This bizarre demon, emerging from the abyss, shrouded in shadows—a monster that would typically require an entire army or a mercenary company to vanquish—had been spectacularly slain by the man who descended from the heavens.

It happened in an instant.

Countless chains had embedded themselves into the creature’s form, its joints snapping in reverse. Before the flickering darkness could mend its body, the man seized control. He transformed the darkness into a myriad of sharp blades that further shattered the monster’s remains.

The man leaped from the monster’s corpse with an air of casual ease, the lingering light illuminating his figure.

He possessed a handsome face, a tall and slender build, slightly wavy chestnut hair, an expression that suggested he had just woken up, and… ill-fitting floral pajamas topped with a pointed nightcap.

“Done… It’s done… Ah, I can finally go back to sleep. No overtime today… Huh?”

The man turned, his gaze meeting the young woman’s.

In that moment, the young woman knew with certainty that she had found the man of her dreams, the one she had yearned for day and night.

****

Days ago—

Southern region, Fortress City, Sandra.

The city was far removed from the Everwinter Icefield, the southernmost territory of the Human Domain, and untouched by the wars with the Demon Race. Yet, its proximity to the renowned Sandra Abyss prompted various nations to fund the construction of a sizable fortress city here.

It boasted a standing army of fifty thousand and a transient population exceeding one hundred thousand, a significant portion of whom were mercenaries from diverse regions.

Under the Lord’s jurisdiction, the army primarily monitored the Abyss, deploying only when large numbers of Abyssal creatures caused widespread havoc. Typically, however, mercenaries were tasked with handling rogue monsters that slipped out, and the Mercenary Guild largely oversaw Abyssal explorations.

A comprehensive order had been established around the Sandra Abyss, within which every citizen of the fortress city toiled, ensuring a perfectly organized society.

Among them was a receptionist at the Mercenary Guild.

The Guild office in the city’s southern district buzzed with activity, frequented by burly warriors, mechanics wielding mysterious technology, robed arcanists, and stylish psychics—a diverse array of individuals.

They stood holding up notices to recruit companions, gathered before the quest board to review commissions, resold spoils scavenged near the Abyss to the Guild, or simply sat in the lounge, eating, drinking, and chatting idly.

And who was I?

A muscular man with hair and a hat fused together, striking bizarre poses? Apologies, that wasn’t me.

A mysterious halfling with a short sword in hand and a ring around their neck? Apologies, that wasn’t me either.

A dull mama’s boy surrounded by a princess, a loli, and a black cat? Apologies, that still wasn’t me.

A mysterious doctor, face veiled, hooded, riding a donkey? Apologies, that definitely wasn’t me.

As for me…

“6,245 common coins. Not a single coin more.”

I, Kos Blavin, withdrew the stored-value card from the POS machine and casually slapped it onto the counter. The burly, tattooed man who had come to submit his quest stared for a moment, then his face clouded with anger.

“We agreed on twelve thousand! Why is it half?! I busted my ass bringing this thing back!”

The man shook the corpse of a dog-like Abyssal creature in his hand, its putrid bodily fluids splattering everywhere.

“Honestly,” I sighed, pointing to the quest description on the electronic screen, “the quest explicitly states ‘live sample.’ What is *this*?”

“It was alive when I dragged it here!”

“But it’s dead now… Alright, alright, buddy, don’t struggle. By the rules, I’m already being generous by giving you half. I’m just following orders here; there’s nothing I can do~”

“Mmmph… Tsk, fine, fine, I get it!”

The man stalked off, clutching his stored-value card in frustration. Had it not been for the blast-proof glass separating us, he likely would have tried to punch me.

I didn’t bother to watch him go. After logging the recent quest report into the computer, I brewed myself a cup of soy milk, beginning to savor a brief lull in work and eagerly anticipating quitting time an hour later.

Being a Mercenary Guild receptionist was truly a good job.

The position was split into day and night shifts. Day shift ran from nine to five, while night shift lasted all evening but offered higher pay. As someone who loathed staying up late, I naturally only worked day shifts.

My daily duties involved posting quest notices as instructed by superiors, handling quest handovers, and managing simple paperwork.

I’d punch in at nine in the morning, clock out at five in the afternoon, then head to the Guild restaurant for a hearty meal before retreating to my single room in the staff dormitory to read comics and play games until I drifted off to sleep.

Pretty sweet, right?

What made it even more invaluable was that the job was never boring. The Mercenary Guild was a melting pot, constantly presenting new happenings and interesting characters that never grew stale. It was even more entertaining when these individuals approached me for quest handovers or business inquiries.

There were seasoned veterans who had been in the business for years—

“Warm two bowls of wine, and a plate of aniseed beans.”

“For the Xianheng Hotel, please turn right upon exiting.”

There were passionate rookie hunters chasing their ideals—

“Even with only low-rank gear, I must hunt the Alatreon!”

“Ahaha, that would just increase the workload for the cleanup crew, so no.”

There were armored eccentrics who seemed to have a screw loose—

“Please give me a quest to slay goblins. I… only kill goblins.”

“Sorry, buddy, goblins only exist in works of fiction.”

There was a blue-haired woman with exaggerated words and seemingly low intelligence—

“Ooh-ooh-ooh! I found this in a public restroom at the edge of the Abyss! It must be some ancient magic tome, right?!”

“I’m sorry, but that’s a half-decayed sanitary pad, and it’s been used.”

There was a kobold wearing a red scarf—

“Friend, spare some change.”

“The Mercenary Guild does not serve hobos.”

…And so on.

In the half-year since I joined, I’ve spent most of my days dealing with all sorts of peculiar individuals. Perhaps due to my early experiences, I always remained unflappable when confronting such troublesome characters.

Over time, whenever my colleagues encountered a difficult mercenary, they would call upon me. In a sense, this became my unique competitive edge in this profession.

“Three minutes left…”

“Two minutes…”

“One minute…”

I fixated on the second hand of my watch—

“Five…”

“Four…”

“Three…”

“Two…”

“One…”

Exactly five o’clock.

“Yes!!!!! Quitting time!!!!”

Close window—shut down computer—shove paper files into the drawer—flip the “Serving” sign to “Service Paused”—mission accomplished! My relief hasn’t arrived yet? Who cares! I wouldn’t work an extra second, 955 is the best!

“Ha, true to form, Kos. A six-month record holder for never working overtime. Impressive.”

“Why bend over backward for a measly bit of overtime pay?”

“Wait for us, wanna eat together?”

“You guys better hurry up…”

Male Colleague A and Female Colleague B slowly tidied their things, forcing me to patiently wait for them to leave the back office together. Beyond the back office lay the Mercenary Guild’s lounge and cafeteria.

While the Guild was notoriously stingy, they had spared no expense in making the cafeteria exceptionally refined, and the food was beyond reproach. They truly understood the desires of those who loved to eat.

A few minutes later, we ordered our respective meals and gathered around a low table to eat.

To be honest, I wasn’t fond of excessive socializing.

I preferred eating alone, reading alone, and playing games alone over group activities. However, being a complete loner tended to draw suspicion, so I made do.

As I shoveled down my meal (rice mixed with roasted meat) and sipped iced soy milk, my two colleagues began to chat idly.

Seizing this opportunity, I shall now impart my wisdom on how to navigate less formal social situations.

First, “listening.”

There’s no need to meticulously listen to every word they say; simply pick out a few keywords.

“…by the way… my partner… aunt… stopped…” the male colleague mumbled.

“…that… trouble… careful…” the female colleague added.

Excellent, keywords collected.

Next, “looking.”

Just glance at them casually from the corner of your eye; their expressions will broadly reveal their mood.

The male colleague’s brow was slightly furrowed, and the female colleague wore a wry smile. ‘I see, I see,’ I thought.

Finally, “speaking.”

Having heard a few keywords and discerned their mood, one has enough information to piece things together. Then, simply offer a platitude as a response.

“Did you and your partner use protection recently? If her period’s stopped, you should be careful; getting pregnant wouldn’t be good.”

—I declared.

Well, children, have you learned? With practice, you too can become a social master like me.

“Kos, what the hell are you talking about? I just said my girlfriend’s *aunt* was coming to visit, but her train got canceled, so I have to drive to pick her up later,” the male colleague exclaimed.

“I told him not to complain about the trouble, or her aunt might go back and badmouth him to her family,” the female colleague added.

…………Oh.

Just as a faint sense of awkwardness washed over me—

[Jing-jing-jing~ Jing-jing-jing-jing-jing-jing~ Jing-jing-jing! This is Mike Media, welcoming all viewers to today’s News Express!]

It was news time. The large display screen in the cafeteria began broadcasting the Human Race’s highest-rated news program, immediately drawing everyone’s attention and allowing me to breathe a sigh of relief—

[—According to reliable sources, new information has surfaced regarding the Ninth Apostle, who disappeared two years ago!]

“A-pfft!!!!!!”

I instantly spat all the soy milk from my mouth onto my rice.

“What’s wrong, Kos-kun? Why such a sudden loud noise?” the female colleague asked curiously.

“Muli-muli-muli-puli-puli-puli… Ah, it’s nothing, just, uh, choked. Let’s keep watching the news…”

I nervously stared at the announcer’s mouth on the screen, even noticing a bit of chive stuck between his front teeth, waiting for him to utter the next sentence—

[In the Southwestern Province of the Great Hua Nation, someone claims to have witnessed his whereabouts in the areas surrounding Tianfu City! The Cultivation Association and the Ninth Apostle Investigation Committee have already launched an inquiry…]

“Ah, I see…”

I secretly let out a breath of relief.

The Southwestern Province of the Great Hua Nation was tens of thousands of miles from Sandra. Such talk of “the Ninth Apostle’s whereabouts discovered in the Southwestern Province” was clearly just a baseless rumor.

I had been extremely careful these past six months, determined not to expose my identity again as I did when I was a home appliance salesman. This time, I was fully prepared.

Indeed, the very reason I chose the profession of Mercenary Guild receptionist was to do the exact opposite of what was expected.

The higher-ups of humanity publicly declared that the Ninth Apostle had merely gone missing during a mission. Yet, only a select few knew I had actually run away because I couldn’t stand the soul-crushing overtime.

Those people would surely think, ‘That scoundrel must have gone to a peaceful region for an easy life.’ But I did the opposite, hiding in a fortress city near the Abyss, exploiting their assumptions to evade them.

‘I’m truly brilliant,’ I thought.

As I inwardly gloated, my two colleagues resumed their conversation.

“I was just thinking…” the male colleague pondered aloud.

“Thinking what?” the female colleague asked.

“What if the Ninth Apostle did the opposite, deliberately hiding in a more dangerous place?” the male colleague mused.

“A-pfft!!!!!!”

For the second time today, I sprayed soy milk all over my rice.

“”Kos…?””

“Uh, just choked again. Don’t mind me…”