The cramped rental room was perpetually haunted by a stubborn, musty odor. It seemed to emanate from the drains below, an unpleasant scent that persisted no matter how diligently one cleaned.
Qi An donned a set of black clothes and trousers, obscuring his face with a mask. This wasn’t an attempt to cosplay some character like Ailudike; it was simply a habit he had long adopted.
The utterly familiar face reflected in the mirror filled him with revulsion. It appeared utterly devoid of vitality, the eyes that had once sparkled with life now held nothing but an ash-like stillness.
Today marked another unremarkable day in his junior year of university. The scorching summer had just receded, and with it, perhaps the penultimate summer vacation of his life had slipped away, though such matters had long ceased to hold any significance for him.
His third-year courses were few and far between. Whether due to a lack of information or simply sheer inertia, he found himself with little to occupy his time, save for the universally known final exams and the CET-4/6.
Perhaps it was the hour, but an unsettling quiet permeated the space. The faint patter of rain beyond the window muffled all other sounds, making him feel as though he stood directly within a torrential downpour, despite being safely indoors.
“I should go out and get some fresh air.”
He spoke in a voice neither loud nor soft, attempting to dispel the oppressive silence, yet simultaneously fearing that someone might actually overhear him.
The early morning street lay deserted. A biting wind, sharp enough to pierce his thin shirt, made him shiver involuntarily. Still, he did not turn back, merely continuing to pace forward as if in flight.
Only months prior, he had fled his previous dwelling, unable to coexist with his roommates, and had moved into this place, enduring self-imposed austerity. Now, absurdly, he harbored a renewed desire to escape once more, to plunge into the even colder, lonelier embrace of the rain.
“Meow—~”
An exceptionally clear meow drifted from a nearby alley. He turned his head, his gaze falling upon a pitch-black cat emerging from the shadows.
With a graceful leap, it landed on the adjacent railing, its deep purple eyes observing him from its elevated perch.
The raindrops did not dampen its fur in the slightest. It remained exposed to the downpour with an air of serene indifference, showing no inclination to seek shelter.
As he watched, he found himself drifting into a trance, only to realize, upon snapping back to attention, that he had unwittingly followed the creature for some distance.
“Are you lost?”
A mysterious voice echoed, its origin indistinguishable. It sounded as if it were a figment of his imagination, or perhaps a harmonious chorus sung by everything around him.
The black cat glided past him, its perpetually pristine form tracing an ominous arc before circling back to stand directly in front of him.
He offered no immediate reply. Instead, he took a hesitant step backward, intent on finding an opportunity to flee, only to discover that his surroundings had undergone a profound transformation.
Countless remarkably familiar buildings were now arranged, almost embedded, into one another, forming an intricate, bewildering landscape. Intricate roads were lined with streetlights casting a sickly yellow glow, while an endless expanse of dark clouds enveloped the area. The dim sky wept a ceaseless, torrential rain, far heavier than before.
The black cat remained entirely unfazed by his reaction, simply observing him in silence, as if his behavior had only served to confirm a nascent idea in its mind.
“Who are you? Can you tell me where I am?”
Mustering his courage, he posed the question, simultaneously offering an implicit answer to the cat’s earlier inquiry.
“Do you believe your life, up to this very moment, has been a happy one?”
It offered no reply, merely reiterating its profound question.
“I…”
He met the black cat’s gaze, those mesmerizing, star-like eyes instilling a subtle unease within him. It was as if they could pierce the very depths of his soul, causing his entire life to flash before him like a rapidly spinning carousel. Memories he had deliberately suppressed now surged forth with alarming speed.
From his earliest years, an indefinable barrier had always separated him from others. He wasn’t bullied, nor was he ostracized; he simply found himself unable to truly connect.
During his primary school years, he had a handful of playmates, yet his inherent lack of initiative invariably led to their gradual estrangement over time.
In junior high, he had earnestly attempted to engage socially, participating in group activities and even forcing himself to speak more. However, these efforts often backfired, either resulting in regrettable remarks or an overly nervous demeanor that only pushed others further away.
By high school, his words had dwindled significantly. He learned to dine alone, frequent the library by himself, and return home in solitude, assuring himself that this solitary existence was perfectly fine, a testament to his own freedom.
Yet, whenever he witnessed others laughing and jesting in small groups, a hollow ache would invariably throb within his heart.
By university, he had all but abandoned any hope of forging deep connections. He immersed himself in the fabricated realities of the internet, maintaining a deliberate distance from the tangible world.
His roommates initially included him in their activities, but his uninteresting personality gradually led them to cease their invitations. Even his most fervent attempts to reconnect proved futile against the formation of their exclusive cliques.
He became an isolated island, endlessly consumed by internal struggles within his own world, perpetually pondering why he could never forge connections with others as effortlessly as they did.
Amidst this tapestry of isolation, the most profound blow had come from the one person he had ever truly connected with: Lin Xiao.
Lin Xiao, who had grown up alongside him, possessed a personality that was his antithesis.
Lin Xiao was bright and effervescent, a beacon of warmth who, without conscious effort, illuminated Qi An’s otherwise somber world.
For over a decade, Lin Xiao had been the sole individual with whom Qi An could truly converse. Despite Qi An’s infrequent initiation of contact, Lin Xiao would consistently seek him out, eager to chat about recent events and share amusing anecdotes from his life.
Qi An had always harbored the belief that he was likely not Lin Xiao’s closest friend; given Lin Xiao’s popularity, he surely had many other, more significant companions.
This deep-seated insecurity caused him to withdraw further, at times even intentionally sidestepping Lin Xiao’s invitations, terrified of experiencing disappointment himself, or, even more dreadfully, of disappointing his friend.
Then, during the summer vacation two years prior, Lin Xiao tragically passed away in an accident.
Qi An only stumbled upon the news months later, missing the memorial service and the opportunity to say a final goodbye. His pathetic cowardice had, once again, proven to be a source of profound disappointment.
He often found himself pondering whether, had he been a little more proactive, had he asked just one more question, he might not have missed everything. Would he have been afforded the chance to say a proper farewell?
Memories surged forth like an unrelenting tide, bitter yet piercingly clear.
Confronted by the black cat’s probing question, even unspoken, the answer had long solidified in his heart.
“I… I’ve never truly felt alive… never truly happy…”
He responded softly, his voice imbued with an ineffaceable sorrow and resentment. The black cat, seemingly satisfied with his reply, fixed its ominous gaze upon him.
“What is your wish?”
It inquired, its voice resonating as if directly within his very thoughts.
“I possess the power to grant your wish through a miracle, but the cost is to become a magical girl, to gradually forfeit your original appearance and identity, and to be drawn into a perilous world.”
Qi An barely hesitated, scarcely registering the latter half of the cat’s pronouncement.
“I want him back.”
His voice, thick with emotion, trembled slightly as he spoke.
“Bring him back to life. Grant me the chance… to see him just one more time… No… even if it’s only to apologize, that would be enough…”
The black cat fell silent for a moment, its deep purple eyes seeming to pierce through some unseen veil, conveying a profound significance.
“That wish holds no meaning.”
It ultimately declared, its tone calm, yet utterly unequivocal.
Qi An froze, utterly bewildered. ‘No meaning’? Why? He would willingly sacrifice anything if such a wish could truly be granted, so why was this particular one deemed impossible?
He drew a deep breath, the icy rain lashing his face, yet he seemed impervious to its sting. The faint spark of hope that had just flickered in his eyes extinguished once more.
“Then… grant me a different future.”
He whispered, each word a painful extraction from the depths of his heart, as if he were finally releasing a heavy burden.
“I desire a life utterly unlike my current one, a happy existence, no longer steeped in such profound suffering.”
The black cat’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if appraising the true value of his request. Then, it inclined its head in a subtle nod.
“As you wish.”
In that instant, Qi An felt a tearing agony erupt from within him, as though his very soul were being violently wrenched from its corporeal vessel, ripped apart, reshaped, and utterly ravaged.
His consciousness began to blur, the final image etched into his fading perception being the black cat’s discerning purple eyes, which seemed to penetrate all mysteries.