Chapter 1: We broke up, didn’t we?

…Let’s break up.

Maybe deep down, I expected that someday I would hear those words.

Even when I tried not to think about it, the words constantly, unknowingly, came to mind, the words of parting.

What did I say back then?

No, did I even manage to respond properly?

I probably couldn’t say anything, and just barely nodded, forcing the corners of my trembling lips to rise.

Because I’m the type of person who is narrower than a needle’s eye on the inside, but wants to appear cool to others.

Why are you suddenly saying you want to break up after we’ve been fine?

Did I do something wrong?

I couldn’t even bring such questions out of my mouth, let alone assemble them into sentences in my head.

Of course, I don’t know the reason.

How would I know the reason for the breakup when I was unilaterally dumped, stuttering and unable to ask anything?

I just figured there must have been something he didn’t like.

That I wasn’t good enough to catch his eye.

..No.

Actually, from the very beginning, from the moment I first confessed to him.

I was never reflected in his eyes.

I was never loved by him, not even once.

If he didn’t love me, why did he accept my confession?

Why didn’t he just refuse right away, and instead played along with my one-sided love, for a whole year?

A coward like me didn’t have the courage to ask such sensitive questions, so I just assumed I wasn’t good enough.

I tried to put it behind me, chewing on the bitterness of my uneasy first love and heartbreak, pushing it to a corner of my memories.

“…Have you eaten?”

“Yes, yes? No, I was just about to go eat…”

But why, why on earth.

“Let’s go together. It’s on me.

“Th, I’ve been imposing on you all week, I can’t have you buy me another meal..”

After saying he wanted to break up, saying he wanted us to go back to being ordinary coworkers.

It’s okay. It’s just that I’m lonely eating alone. Don’t feel too burdened.’

“Still….”

Besides.

Why is this person, who was like that, now?

And also.

“No one will think it’s suspicious if we eat together….since we’re both women.”

After I, became a woman, not a man.

….Yes..

In this person’s eyes, did I start to be reflected?