Element Perception

On the way back with Kefeier, I carried the official priest qualification certificate in both hands like a sacred treasure.

This plain white card, I heard, uses the advanced technology of the British Empire.

Once you infuse it with your own magic, it becomes a personalized, anti-theft, anti-counterfeit certificate, signifying a true iron rice bowl.

This little pink card may be a small step for an ordinary person, but for me, it’s a giant leap!

“Oujilide, I have something to—ugh, it’s just a certificate, do you really need to stare at it the entire way?”

“It’s not a certificate—it’s hope and the future.”

Looking at Kefeier, who turned her head and asked with clear annoyance, I replied with absolute seriousness.

Whether I’m a real priest or not doesn’t matter.

As long as I have this certificate, I have a justified reason to cling to the thigh that Kefeier willingly offered!

She said it herself earlier: if I could obtain the certificate, she’d let me be her personal priest.

And now—I’ve succeeded!

As for whether Kefeier will go back on her word… come on, she’s the protagonist, the chosen one of the world.

When does a protagonist ever go back on their promise?

Seeing how thrilled I was, Kefeier fell silent for a moment.

“Does being my personal priest really make you that happy?”

“Absolutely!”

“……”

I answered without hesitation.

Too happy to think twice, I didn’t even notice the slight blush on Kefeier’s beautiful face after I said that.

How could I not be happy?

Being able to stay by Kefeier’s side under legitimate status is like having protagonist plot armor.

Me, Oujilide—the villain doomed to countless stylish deaths? That fate can go kick rocks!

This card in my hand isn’t a certificate anymore.

From today on, I’m calling it the “Thigh Pass”!

Starting now, those cannon-fodder lackeys won’t be able to take me out again!

With a satisfied heart, I returned to Kefeier’s secret base.

To fully embrace my role as a thigh-hugging expert, I decided to open the door for Kefeier to show my devotion.

“I have the key, let me open it for you!”

And then…

At the exact moment a strange girl let out a startled cry, a falling figure from inside collided with me head-on!

“Eh? Ah!”

Two… well, fully developed soft mounds pressed firmly against my chest.

The first thing that hit my eyes was their sheer size—big and white, seemingly ungraspable.

The girl, flustered, scrambled to pull away from me.

I then saw her clearly: a maid who had opened the door from inside and was yanked off balance.

She had long black hair tied into twin braids.

Now that she had run into a strange man like me, her face was filled with anxiety as she quickly stepped back.

And of course… the two “assets” on her chest gave a slight bounce.

I wasn’t trying to stare!

It’s just… I’m a man. Sometimes we don’t have a choice…

The fragrance from Kefeier standing beside me instantly snapped me into “sage mode.”

“Sorry, looks like we’ve come to the wrong house.”

I was honestly worried Kefeier might doubt my character after that awkward “accident,” but instead, she took a step forward.

“You didn’t go to the wrong place. You’re just a dumb priest who didn’t listen to a single thing I said.”

With that, Kefeier stepped between me and the busty black-haired girl.

“This guy is the ‘that guy’ I told you about earlier.”

That guy…

“Oujilide, this is the maid I picked up from home while you were off getting your certificate—Miss Nilu.”

“Oujilide, what’s wrong?”

“Hissss…”

I took in a sharp breath.

Nothing’s wrong.

I just suddenly feel… so alive!

According to Kefeier, the maid named Nilu—well-endowed, cough, black-haired—was brought in from her family estate to help with daily life at the secret base.

She wasn’t lying.

Because the moment we got back, Nilu showed off textbook-level maid skills:

Boiling water, serving tea, cleaning up—all done in one smooth go.

Then, as I sat down with Kefeier, she stood in front of us with a tray and began her formal introduction.

It seemed she already knew I was that notorious fraud—Oujilide.

“Good evening, Mr. Oujilide. Allow me to reintroduce myself—I’m just a… regular maid from Lady Kefeier’s family estate. I’ll be taking care of her needs here.”

“If you need anything too, feel free to let me know…”

Unlike her overwhelmingly attention-grabbing and impressive figure, Nilu’s voice was timid and full of self-doubt.

After recovering from the overwhelming “view,” I also noticed she wore a white eyepatch over one eye.

She gave off a fragile, bullied vibe that really tugged at the heart.

I shook my head.

What a wicked thought I just had.

Nilu’s arrival is clearly a good thing!

Come to think of it, I just managed to secure Kefeier’s thigh, and now a big-breasted maid appears out of nowhere?

Could this mean I’m about to start… a string of lucky encounters?

Even if I’m a villain, this kind of development is just…

Unrefusable!

With a tiny wicked grin that every man understands, I continued listening.

Since Nilu’s intro wasn’t complete, Kefeier stepped in to finish.

“Oujilide, let me make something clear as part of your ‘rehabilitation.’”

“If you even think of doing anything inappropriate, I’ll chop you down myself. Nilu is a proper maid.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

When the protagonist speaks, I obey without question!

“Actually, that’s not even my main concern. I just want to remind you—maid or not, don’t push all your troubles onto Nilu. She works harder than you ever will.”

As she said this, Kefeier’s eyes showed genuine care toward Nilu.

As expected from a protagonist—this is what it means to have aura!

“Nilu’s background is quite tragic. She’s been an orphan since childhood—her parents are likely long gone.”

“Mm…”

I nodded solemnly.

But the next part… made it harder to stay calm.

“She wandered here from a foreign country. Just when she was starving to death on the street, I found her and brought her home.”

“……”

Kefeier’s words moved me…

But something about Nilu’s background sounded… suspicious.

“One of her eyes isn’t blind—it just causes intense pain when opened. I’ve consulted top doctors, but none have ever seen this kind of condition.”

I suddenly jumped up!

Kefeier looked annoyed.

“Oujilide, why are you so worked up!?”

How could I not be!? Because… because!

“Miss Nilu!”

I cut Kefeier off and hurriedly asked the busty maid:

“When you’re working as a maid, do strange things happen around you!? Like… do old men with white beards or old ladies with white hair always stop you randomly!?”

Nilu opened her mouth in shock.

Even Kefeier stared at me with a suspicious gaze.

“Mr. Oujilide… how do you know that?”

“Priest, don’t tell me you’ve been stalking her?”

I haven’t stalked anyone!

Crap.

I’m screwed. I’m totally screwed.

Kefeier didn’t bring home a soft and fluffy girl.

She brought home a walking, talking catastrophe for me!