Chapter 12: Escapism

5:19.

The time I arrived at the club room of the proud ‘Book Appreciation Club’ was met with an unexpected and absurd punishment.

“Lian Junior.”

“Yes, Senior.”

“Kneel over there and raise your hands.”

“Yes.”

It was the time when Tinia began to impose this strange and absurd punishment that even an elementary school student would not be made to receive.

“……Tinia Senior.”

“Go ahead.”

“My arm is starting to hurt.”

“You’re doing well. I told you to do it so that your arm would hurt.”

“…”

“I’ll tell you to get off, so just hold on a little longer.”

Was it because of my mood that I felt particularly cold today? No, that can’t be.

I briefly pondered that thought, but soon I pushed it away.

How could it be because of my mood? The coldness was radiating from the sentence.

It was strange that I didn’t notice it.

I have nothing to say, though.

Of course, I had nothing to say.

I was the reason why Tinia, who had a gentler personality than anyone else, had become like this.

I couldn’t deny this.

It was a fact I knew better than anyone else.

“…”

I just quietly raised my hand and carried out the punishment that Tinia had given me.

How much time had passed? When the long hands of the clock on the wall began to point to the number 6.

“I think I’ve reflected enough. You can put your hand down now.”

Finally, the voice I had been waiting for came.

“Ugh.”

The stinging pain that came as soon as I put my hand down, and the groan that eventually escaped my mouth despite my best efforts to endure it.

It couldn’t have been a more perfect combination.

Why does it really hurt so much? I didn’t hold it up as long as I thought.

It’s an unbelievable fact, but the time I had been holding my hand up was only 10 minutes.

The total time I had been late to the club was 49 minutes.

It was a whopping five times the time difference.

In fact, it felt like the time had passed several times later.

As if Tinia had read my expression, she quietly looked at me and opened her mouth.

“Junior. Are you thinking, ‘Why did time pass so slowly?'”

“Yes.”

“If that’s the case, then that’s fortunate. That means you faithfully carried out the punishment I gave you.”

“…”

“If by any chance you had said something like, ‘You finished it faster than I thought,’ I would have made you do it for 20 more minutes.”

Tinia, who blurted out the most horrible things in the world, said it more cheerfully than anyone else.

Hmm.

I used to believe that my senior was the only normal person among the few people around me.

Looking at her, it seemed like that wasn’t necessarily the case.

If a person were really normal, they wouldn’t be able to laugh so easily about causing pain to others.

I felt like my trust in Tinia was being shattered in real time.

Fortunately, the trust that was being shattered like this was quickly restored to its original state.

“I’m just joking. Why would I make Junior Lian do something like that again?”

“Can I believe that?”

“Of course. I’m not a bad club president who abuses club members.”

“Then why did you just now…….”

“But I think what happened just now was more than enough. My junior was 49 minutes late without even contacting me.”

I got hit again for trying to express my opinion.

I should have just stayed still.

I thought it would have passed naturally if I had stayed quiet.

And it was as expected.

Tinia looked at me with a cold expression as if she had forgotten the most important fact.

“That’s right. I still haven’t asked you why you’re late, Junior?”

“…”

“Tell me. Why are you late for our sacred club time?”

It was a sentence that stood out with the determination that if I didn’t tell them right away, they would erase me from this world.

There were two options that came to mind here.

First, tell the truth.

Second, make a vague excuse and move on.

If I were normal, I would probably choose the second option.

It was easy and fast.

If I could just endure the slight guilt of lying, I could end the situation easier than any other words.

“I was late because I was called to the student affairs office.”

“…”

However, the option that actually came out of my mouth was the first option.

‘……It’s not something I really want to experience again.’

Kneel down and raise your hands.

Because that terrifying punishment from earlier had already become a trauma.

It was simple fear.

The fear that if I were caught lying now, I might experience the horrible time from earlier twice as much.

That fear made only the truth come out of my mouth.

“……Why?”

“…”

“You should also tell me why you were called to the student affairs office. Junior Lian.”

The fact that Tinia’s expression became even colder after hearing my confession of conscience was a painful fact to say.

***

After I finished explaining the whole story of how I came to visit the student affairs office, Tinia nodded her head up and down as if she understood my position.

“Hmm. If what you said is true, junior, then this was inevitable.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes. Even if it were me, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tolerate it if a classmate had brought up family stories so carelessly.”

Tinia consoled me, saying that she wouldn’t have been able to tolerate it if someone had touched her family.

Here, a normal person would have been touched by the affectionate appearance of a senior understanding his mistake.

However, I, the person involved, was thinking differently.

‘……The senior is truly angry.’

It was a picture that I couldn’t picture at all in my head.

I tried to picture it somehow, recalling the cold expression on her face from earlier, but nothing came to mind.

And, perhaps this was natural.

Always a gentle senior.

A senior who always welcomes me with a warm expression.

This was the expression used by the main character in the original work to evaluate a person named Tinia.

Considering that the main character of the original work is usually warm, but when evaluating the people around him, he judges them with a more objective perspective than anyone else, this image is truly incredibly kind.

How could I dare imagine the anger of this senior Tinia?

I know the main character’s evaluation, and even more so, I am experiencing Tinia directly like this now.

……I experienced Tinia, the only savior who reached out to me when I was at my most desperate.

It’s a fact that I’m saying now.

My condition was very serious not long after I was possessed.

It was natural.

Rather, it was impossible to maintain a normal state.

I was possessed by a novel I was reading.

And I was possessed by the body of a villainous extra who was ignored by all the characters.

It was probably a situation that most people would never be able to endure.

I was sure of this.

Because there was a time when I thought I couldn’t endure it anymore.

The gaze of another person.

Among them, the gaze of disgust was not a gaze that a human could easily endure.

A gaze of disgust gradually exhausts the recipient.

If that gaze continued endlessly, the person in question would inevitably collapse.

……I want to die.

That was the thought that came to my mind the most at that time.

Isn’t this enough to explain how difficult it is to receive gazes of disgust?

And then, it was.

“……Junior? Junior Lian?”

“…”

“Lee! Ahn! Junior!”

It was Tinia’s voice that woke me up from my sinking consciousness.

“…Ah. Did you call me just now?”

“Yes. I called you quite a few times. What on earth were you thinking about that you couldn’t hear me even though I was right next to you?”

Before I knew it, Tinia had come right up to me.

After recalling a memory from the past for the first time in a long while, my mind seemed to have sunk into darkness.

“……I’m sorry. I was just thinking about something else for a moment.”

“No. You don’t have to be sorry. I was just wondering if you had some important thoughts in your mind that you couldn’t hear me.”

“…”

“Is it difficult for you to tell me? If you have any worries, feel free to tell me anytime!”

Tinia confidently beat her feeble-looking chest as if she would be happy to give me advice at any time.

Not that pitiful sight in that world…

A smile naturally came to her lips at her cute appearance.

“It was an important worry, after all. I was worried about what to do for dinner tonight.”

……Huh. That’s something I always have trouble deciding on, and it’s something I always have to worry about.

Seeing that, I was able to briefly shake off the gloomy thoughts that had been eating away at my head until just now.

……That’s right. I should enjoy the present.

There’s no need to worry about the future anymore.

Because the future has already been decided for sure.

Rather, isn’t it even more foolish to worry about this situation?

Isn’t it foolish to think about a future that has already been decided and will never change in your head once more?

That thought suddenly occurred to me.

This thought helped me a lot in forgetting about the future that was to come.

Yes. Escapism.

If I had to be specific, this too was a kind of escapism.