Chapter 12: Second month of broadcasting-3

I got in a taxi. I didn’t care how much the fare would be.

I just wanted to get there as quickly as possible.

And I hoped the cat was safe.

The day it was abandoned was about four days ago.

The probability that the cat would still be there was close to zero, but I shook my head.

“Please…”

The taxi driver was talking about politics, the president, and whatnot, but I ignored him.

Ring-

My phone rang.

NemoMi: Is something wrong?

Aram: What’s wrong?

I licked my bleeding, stinging lips and smiled faintly.

It seemed that my appearance at the end of the stream had caused them to worry.

I was going to type ‘I’m fine’ with trembling fingers, but I stopped and made a distorted face.

I wasn’t fine.

I chewed on the tip of my tongue, closed my eyes, and sent one word.

‘Help me.’

Help me.

I had no excuse.

I was always on the receiving end, unable to give anything back, but.

“Please help me just this once…”

If something happened to the cat I was looking for now, I didn’t think I could take it.

Someone might laugh at me.

They might call me an idiot.

Saying it was just a cat.

Saying I was wasting my energy on something useless.

But it wasn’t just a cat to me.

It was the only friend who comforted me when I was lost and confused after my parents passed away.

The brief moment I spent with that cat was warmer than the one-minute consultation with the doctor at the mental hospital who clearly found me bothersome.

That insignificant warmth seemed to save me.

It was around that time that I was able to sleep without sleeping pills when I couldn’t before.

I wanted to be with that cat, my friend.

But I gave up because I wanted it to be happy since it was my friend.

A tear fell on my phone.

The emotions I had been suppressing to not appear weak burst out all at once, and I couldn’t control them.

My wrong choice caused my friend to suffer.

Then, since it was caused by my wrong choice, I had to fix it.

An eternal silence. A reply arrived, and even though I was crying, I couldn’t help but smile brightly.

NemoMi: Where are you?
Aram: I’ll help!
Garam: ?

They were really kind people.

I arrived.

A dark park where no one went.

Several streetlights were broken and didn’t turn on, perhaps due to lack of maintenance.

People were waiting for me at that place, having arrived before me.

Aram, Garam, and NemoMi.

I approached them and bowed my head.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. So what’s wrong?”

“Dragon oppa’s house is in Busan, so it’ll take him a while to get here.”

The people who gathered to help me without saying a word only looked at me with concern without any sign of annoyance.

“This is that place.”

Garam seemed to know this place.

“The place where that b*stard abandoned the cats, right?”

“Yes…”

I flinched at Garam’s words but explained my current situation with my poor speaking skills. The others gently stroked my head.

“It’s not your fault, so don’t worry about it. If anything, it’s that b*stard’s fault.”

Garam patted my back, cursing, and Aram and NemoMi spoke to me with determined expressions.

“So, we just need to find that Kkami, right?”

“Yes…”

It had already been four days.

There was no way it would still be here.

I wouldn’t have anything to say even if they cursed at me for making them go through this for nothing.

I closed my eyes tightly, preparing for the curses that were about to come, but they just talked among themselves.

“Even if it’s still here, it’s too late now, and even if we find the cat, we probably won’t be able to catch it.”

It must be wary since it was abused.

I quietly said, “I’m sorry” to Garam’s words, but Garam wasn’t finished.

“Aram and I will search B course.”

“Are you helping me?”

“You asked for help, didn’t you?”

Garam smiled and grumbled as if asking what I was talking about.

“Thank you… Really, thank you…”

“Then I’ll take A course with Liera-nim?”

NemoMi raised her hand and appealed, and Garam and Aram nodded.

At that silent reply, NemoMi wrapped her arm around my waist and rubbed her face in my hair.

“Trust unnie!”

“Yes…”

I was a little embarrassed.

“Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

Garam and Aram moved first.

“That couple has been dating for four years, but they never leave each other’s side.”

“Huh…?”

“Huh? Ah! Pretend you didn’t hear that! Let’s search too! Your friend is waiting for you, waiting for you to find them…”

Garam and Aram were dating.

I felt like I had heard a secret I shouldn’t have, but as NemoMi said, that was something I could look into later.

Right now, finding my friend was the priority.

If we suddenly shouted while searching, the cat would most likely run away, so we moved, scanning with our eyes.

Thoroughly, even in narrow places and paths where people didn’t walk.

I calmed my confused heart, where fear and excitement coexisted.

One hour passed.

Two hours passed, and then three hours.

Was it not here?

Had it already left for another place?

With each step, it felt like a stone was being placed on my heart.

It all felt like my fault.

If only I had made a decision sooner back then.

If only I hadn’t believed that child back then.

If only that trash…

Countless ‘if onlys’ ran through my head.

And those ‘if onlys’ planted regret in me.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry my heart out.

But the guilt of what I had done blocked my throat, not allowing me to even cry.

I didn’t deserve to cry comfortably.

I did wrong.

I shouldn’t have sent you away like that.

I ended up stopping in my tracks.

“Are you tired?”

NemoMi looked at me, holding back her heavy breathing.

It had already been five hours since we arrived at this park.

In a little while, the morning would come.

Dragon had arrived an hour ago and was helping to find the cat.

“I’m sorry… If only I hadn’t asked for help…”

“Hey, Liera, no, what’s your real name?”

I flinched at NemoMi’s serious expression as she looked intently at me.

“Seoyeon… Baek Seoyeon…”

My name, Baek Seoyeon.

“Okay, Seoyeon. I don’t know how to say this, but I didn’t think we would be able to find it.”

But.

“We gathered because you asked for help, to help you… But you know, do you think those people wouldn’t know?”

That the probability of the cat being here was low?

Garam oppa even said it before we started searching.

I hung my head, tears welling up in my eyes.

At that, NemoMi wiped my eyes with her long fingers.

The touch was so gentle for some reason that it made me feel even more sorry.

“We’re helping you, you, whom we’ve only known for less than a month, we’re sincerely helping you.”

“Yes…”

“So don’t give up. If you give up, this whole thing becomes meaningless.”

“Tha-.”

Just as I was about to say thank you, my phone rang.

It was Aram.

– We found it! Here, where is this?! No, I’ll just send you the location, come right away!

NemoMi and I looked at each other blankly, then hurriedly checked the phone.

A photo was uploaded along with the location.

A pitifully thin cat nestled under an abandoned umbrella.

Seeing the photo, I froze, mumbling “Ah… Ah…”, and NemoMi started running, shouting.

“Seoyeon! What are you doing! Run!”

We found it!

It wasn’t too late!!

I started running again.

I ran.

I was out of breath, but I ran, hoping that the cat, my friend, was still there.

NemoMi took the lead.

I fell behind.

But I didn’t stop running.

Sorry? Regret? Fear? Dread?

I didn’t know.

It wasn’t a negative emotion.

But it wasn’t a positive emotion either.

It was far from joy.

It wasn’t even relief.

What emotion was it?

I didn’t know, but ‘I don’t know’ wasn’t a reason for me to stop.

I ran.

I ran and ran.

My lungs felt like they were about to burst.

My legs gave out, and I stumbled many times.

Even so, I ran.

A streetlight passed, another streetlight passed.

The scenery passed as I ran.

How long had I been running?

Five minutes?

Ten minutes?

It felt like I had been running for 15 minutes.

And then, I saw people in the distance.

My legs trembled.

I was out of breath.

I wanted to throw everything away and lie down on the spot.

“Haa…!”

But how could I?

How could I give up so easily when I was so close to meeting it?

“Huff….Haa…!”

I didn’t give up, and soon I arrived.

The world spun when I suddenly stopped, and I felt nauseous, but that wasn’t the problem.

“Wh-where… Huff… Where is it?”

Aram, Garam, and NemoMi pointed in one direction.

Just like in the photo, a trash dump, and an abandoned umbrella.

Inside, a pitifully thin cat.

I unconsciously tried to approach but stopped.

Would that child recognize me?

A whole year had passed.

Would it really recognize me?

It wouldn’t.

I knew that for sure.

Even so, I was disgusted with myself for hesitating because I didn’t want to get hurt by that.

NemoMi nudged my shoulder.

At that signal, I unknowingly took a step forward.

The cat opened its eyes.

And looked up.

Our eyes met.

I took a deep breath.

Even if it didn’t recognize me, even if it ran away, I wouldn’t be hurt.

Because it must have hurt more than me.

If I ran away here, this whole thing would become meaningless.

I swallowed dryly and took another step, and then another.

As I approached, the abused cat hissed briefly, wary of me.

Yeah, that’s understandable.

How much it must have suffered.

I crouched down to meet the cat’s eye level.

I slowly reached out my hand.

The cat got up and took a few steps back.

I waited.

I could wait as long as it took.

It’s okay if you don’t recognize me.

It’s okay if you don’t come close.

I still want you to be happy.

After about 20 minutes, the cat blinked at me, not taking any action, then slowly approached and sniffed the back of my hand.

Did it recognize me?

Really?

Will you recognize me?

It flinched whenever I moved my hand, but it didn’t run away.

I slowly raised my hand and stroked the cat.

The cat was tense.

But even though it was tense, it accepted my touch.

An unguarded purr.

“Haha…”

Do you still remember me?

“We’ll be going now.”

“Thank you, everyone.”

“What are you talking about? You’re coming with me, right?”

“Ah…!”

The people who helped me left.

Only the cat and I remained.

I gently hugged the cat that still remembered me.

The cat rubbed its face against my cheek.

Dragon: Did I do something wrong to you guys?

A day had passed since then.

The cat was sleeping on my bed.

It looked peaceful.

But I was not peaceful at all. I could only apologize to Dragon with trembling hands.

It was after we found the cat.

Dragon, who didn’t hear that we found the cat because his phone battery died, searched for the cat until 1 PM even after we left.

And when the exhausted Dragon was eating at a convenience store and charging his phone.

Only then did he see.

That we had already left.

Ugh…

Why did I forget?!

Wasn’t this too ungrateful!

I pulled my hair and writhed in guilt.

Dragon: No,,, Sigh,,, You’re,,, ignoring me,,,, because I’m old,,,,

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…

NemoMi: LOL

Dragon: But where are Aram and Garam?

NemoMi: Motel?

Dragon: ?

Motel?

Hmm….

I carefully placed my phone next to the computer.

“I should stream…”

Anyway, it seemed too late to say ‘now that I think about it,’ but I had a lot on my mind since yesterday.

I didn’t know why Dragon, NemoMi, Aram, and Garam were helping me so much.

Before I met them, I was just a gloomy streamer that no one watched.

A question I had from the beginning.

It was growing bigger.

The cat woke up, stretched, and jumped onto my lap.

And then it kneaded on my lap.

The wariness it showed at first was gone.

I stroked the cat.

“Yeah…”

There’s no point in worrying about it.

Won’t the day come when I find out the reason?

Just be grateful, just be thankful, and slowly repay this debt.

Ahem.

I cleared my throat.

As soon as I turned on the stream, viewers came in.

1, 3, 9, 19, 24, 43. And finally, 70.

“Liha!”

I shouted loudly in front of the many viewers.

– Liha
– 28
– Liha!

I smiled and continued.

“The game we’re playing today is..! Skull Soul!”