A Kiss You Can’t Take Back

Close.

His slow breath brushed against the tip of my nose.

The moment I became aware of that distance, the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and heat rushed through me.

“Um…”

I didn’t know how I was supposed to react.

Between ‘Woo Jaeyoung’ and ‘Yoo Sowon,’ there had even been a child, so a kiss might have meant nothing.

But that wasn’t me now.

I, who remembered nothing, wasn’t that ‘Yoo Sowon,’ nor the person he longed for.

“Hyung.”

I hadn’t even moved a finger, yet my breath came out uneven.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment so I wouldn’t end up panting pathetically, then slowly opened them again.

“…I don’t think this is right.”

“Why?”

His rough voice answered.

“Why isn’t it?”

“Well, we’re not… that kind of relationship, and there’s no reason…”

“What’s so complicated about it? If lips touch, it’s a kiss. If bodies touch, it’s a night together.”

His cool fingers tapped lightly against my chin.

“It’s not like anything wears out from using it. If you keep questioning everything, it just gets annoying. Don’t you think?”

He wasn’t entirely wrong.

A kiss wasn’t going to turn the world upside down, and I didn’t have any fantasies about a first kiss.

I wasn’t the type to cling to someone or demand responsibility over something like that.

But still.

“…I don’t like it.”

I pushed against his shoulder.

“I don’t like treating it like it’s nothing.”

Once becomes twice.

And as it keeps happening, it starts to feel natural.

The more things you bury under the excuse of convenience, the more a relationship drifts toward instability, not stability.

I didn’t want a relationship where kissing felt natural but we weren’t introduced as lovers.

I didn’t want a relationship where love existed but no future was ever drawn together.

Especially because someone’s past—someone who had been swept away like that—was now my starting point.

Woo Jaeyoung stepped back a little, then held his ground.

Even when I kept pushing and lightly hitting his shoulder, he didn’t budge, like a rock.

There was no way I could win against him—not in build, not in strength—and that felt frustrating in a way it never had before.

“Then do it.”

My arm, raised to hit him, froze midair.

“…What?”

“What do I have to do? Date? Marriage? Or do you want some confession straight out of those novels you read?”

“……”

“Would it be enough if I brought a ring, a bouquet, and said some sugar-coated lines?”

He said it with a face that looked like it had spent a lifetime fighting, not loving.

“If I promise to do all that properly this time, step by step, can I kiss you now?”

It was too rough to be called a request.

Too desperate to be called a threat.

Too flawed to be called a vow.

Too emotional to be called a negotiation.

I just stared at him blankly.

Taking my silence as hesitation, Woo Jaeyoung frowned.

“Or we kiss first and you decide after. If you don’t like it, just wipe your lips and forget it. If you do, then name your price.”

What is this, a blank check?

Try it and write down whatever you want after?

I was half amazed, half horrified by his completely incomprehensible values when—

He suddenly leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, then pulled away.

“I told you I’d become someone you can do that with, and give you a reason too.

I said I’d be whatever you want—your boyfriend, your husband. I’ve compromised a lot, haven’t I…?”

“……”

“Still don’t like it?”

His eyes, dark and glossy, reflected my stunned expression clearly.

“If you don’t, say it quickly. I can’t wait long.”

I didn’t hate it.

That was the problem.

Our relationship was strange.

It had been strange before I lost my memory, and it was even stranger now that everything inside had been replaced.

It wasn’t something that could be easily explained or defined.

And yet, maybe…

Maybe I could just try it once and decide after, like he said.

That thought crept in without warning.

And before I knew it, I couldn’t say no anymore.

“…Are you really okay with that?”

What if one kiss turned into something binding?

What if it became something I couldn’t undo?

At my hesitant question, Woo Jaeyoung let out a small laugh.

“More than enough, darling.”

Our first kiss felt like all the air in my lungs had been stolen.

Damn, he’s good at kissing.

Even after getting some fresh air, the heat on my face wouldn’t go away, and I had to fan myself several times.

“Yoo Sowon.”

A large arm caught my shoulder just as I was about to stumble forward.

Only then did I realize I had nearly fallen while rushing ahead.

“Didn’t I tell you not to overdo it when walking?”

“Ah.”

“‘Ah’ what. You’re spacing out again?”

I quickly straightened myself.

“Sorry. I was rushing…”

“What’s there to rush for?”

We had come up to the rooftop garden because I’d been feeling cooped up in the hospital all day.

But I kept replaying what happened earlier, slowing my pace, and before I knew it, the distance between us had widened.

“This is fast?”

Woo Jaeyoung looked down at his own steps with dissatisfaction.

He still seemed unused to deliberately slowing down his long strides.

In truth, he probably had never adjusted his pace for anyone before.

Not even for the old ‘me.’

But after I had tripped during a walk not long ago, something someone said must have stuck with him.

“Here.”

He let go of my shoulder and grabbed my hand instead.

I hesitated for a moment, then clasped his hand firmly.

Holding hands made it easier to walk together, naturally keeping our distance in check.

His hand felt cool at first, but after a moment, warmth seeped through, spreading steadily.

The problem was, holding hands didn’t stop my thoughts.

I slowed down again, and when our arms stretched taut, Woo Jaeyoung turned back mid-call.

“You’re completely out of it.”

I couldn’t even deny it and just stared at him.

Clicking his tongue, he suddenly lifted me up.

He carried me to a bench and set me down, then draped his coat over my shoulders without showing even a hint of strain.

“What were you thinking so hard about with that tiny head of yours?”

“Well…”

I wasn’t good at making excuses, so I hesitated.

The moment I looked up, our eyes met.

He had already finished his call and slipped his phone into his pocket, tilting his head at me.

His dark eyes scanned me carefully, then narrowed.

“What? You look like you were thinking something dirty.”

“……”

“What is it?”

He guessed right without even trying and smiled.

“Seriously?”

“…No.”

A shadow fell over me.

He leaned closer, meeting my eyes.

His fingers brushed lightly along my cheek, then traced down my jaw to my neck, pressing against the racing pulse there.

“Yeah right. Your heart’s going crazy.”

Now that I noticed it, I could hear it clearly.

My heartbeat pounded violently, echoing through my entire body.

“Doesn’t look like you remembered anything.”

His dark gaze stayed fixed on me.

“So, did you like it?”

“Stop teasing me…”

“How can I? Your reactions are too cute.”

His low voice was laced with laughter.

It was obvious he had already seen through everything I couldn’t bring myself to admit.

Smiling wider than usual, he lightly held my shoulders and began pressing soft kisses all over my face.

“I told you this morning.”

His lips landed on my forehead and eyelids, making small, soft sounds.

“We’re not that kind of relationship.”

Kiss.

“And there’s no reason…”

Kiss. Kiss.

“Ah—hyung! Stop!”

He laughed and pressed his forehead against mine.

“Why? I told you already.”

His lips brushed my cheeks, nose, the corner of my mouth, my jaw.

“I’ll be whatever you want—boyfriend, husband.”

Kiss.

“As for the reason… what does it matter? If it feels good, you do it.”

The warmth from each touch spread across my entire face.

He knew.

Even without my memories, he knew I was drawn to him.

That in this world where I had nothing to rely on, he was the one I leaned on most.

Just like ‘Yoo Sowon’ had been, I would fall for him again—helplessly.

“…Don’t blame me if you end up getting tied down.”

“Sowon.”

He whispered against my lips.

“If I didn’t want that, I wouldn’t have gone this far to find you.”

Maybe he muttered something like, “If you don’t want it, turn your head.”

I wasn’t sure.

It didn’t really matter.

I had no intention of turning away.

And the heat of his lips was unmistakably real.