Chapter 13: Fish-shaped bun

<Hello?>

The voice coming from the speaker of the phone was an attractive, husky voice.

A slightly hoarse, low, and deep, but pleasant female voice.

“Ye… Yes, hel… lo….”

I don’t know why, but I was so nervous that I stuttered.

<Ruffian?>

“Yes. Is this Bread-nim?”

After saying that, it felt a little funny.

How can someone’s name be Ruffian and Bread.

It was a little awkward to say nicknames out loud, no matter how many times I did it.

Especially those that are definitely not people’s names.

<Wow, you need to buy a new mic right now.>

“Why?”

<Your voice sounds better through the phone. What kind of trash mic are you using?>

Is this the culture among women, to give compliments so casually? Or is it 100% sincerity? I was a little confused, but I answered honestly.

“It’s just a mic attached to a 30,000 won headset.”

<Hey, how can you use such a mic when you’re streaming? When your main content is radio.>

“My main content is LoL.”

<Since I turn it on and just listen to your voice, the main content is radio.>

It seemed like Bread had a strong personality. She knew what she liked and didn’t like, made choices well, and didn’t easily back down from her opinions.

“I… Is that so?”

<Your voice is really nice. Am I the only one who has exclusive access to this voice right now? It’s kind of exciting.>

I could hear a small laugh. It was very pleasant to hear.

This situation of talking on the phone with a woman is very unfamiliar to me, a virgin shut-in.

No, actually, the situation of having a conversation on the phone itself is very unfamiliar.

Anyway, I learned somewhere on the internet that if you receive a compliment, you should return it.

“Bread-nim, you have a very nice voice too.”

That wasn’t just empty words. Her voice was definitely attractive.

So much so that I had no reason to dislike listening to it.

<I don’t really like my voice. It sounds like a boy’s voice. I wish I had a girly voice like yours.>

My voice might be girly, but my insides are completely that of a guy.

“It’s husky, but it doesn’t sound like a man at all.”

<Hehe, thank you, even if it’s just empty words.>

“It’s not empty words.”

There was a brief silence.

I recalled the purpose of this call.

It was to thank her for the illustrations.

“Thank you for drawing the pretty pictures.

Really.”

I thought about sending her a chicken gifticon, but I was worried that she might think I was trying to brush it off with just that.

Then what should I do to repay her? There’s no way a simple phone call would be enough.

I’m not some top movie star.

My value can’t be that high.

“How should I repay this…………”

I really don’t know.

It’s easiest to solve it with money, but I’m quite strapped for cash myself.

<Just be my phone friend from time to time. That’s enough.>

“But.”

Just that? It makes me feel guilty.

To convince me, who was thinking that way, Bread told her story.

<At first, I was envious of your girly voice, so I just liked listening to it. But as I watched your stream, I felt a sense of empathy.

I was very lonely too.

I moved from the countryside to Seoul, so I didn’t have any friends, and since my job is drawing, I don’t need to go out and I work from home, right? I don’t even see people unless I’m signing a contract.

I’m stuck at home every day just drawing, so it’s comfortable for my body, but I felt so lonely that my heart felt empty. Then I came across your stream.>

This person was lonely too? She empathized with my loneliness?

<Your voice was so pretty, and what you said was so fun that watching it made me feel like I was with someone.

So I liked it, and I just sent a gift.

Don’t feel so burdened.

If you’re too burdened, I’ll feel burdened too. Right?

She was comforted by my voice.

If she was also comforted by my stream, that’s really great.

<If you understand, don’t talk about repayment anymore!>

“Oh, okay……”

<So how old is Ruffian?>

“I’m, twenty-eight..”

<Huh? You’re a lot older than I thought? I thought you were in your early twenties!>

“It is what it is……..”

<No, unnie! I’m really not making fun of you! Your voice was so young that I was surprised!>

Unnie? That’s a really unfamiliar title that makes me cringe.

I could be called that by someone. Yeah, come to think of it, that’s right.

When the body changes, when the appearance changes, relationships also change. I only realized it now because there was no one around me.

“How old is Bread then?”

<Me? Twenty-one.>

No, she’s way younger than I thought! I thought she was my age or older since she’s a professional illustrator who gets paid for her work.

“……I want to die.”

<Huh? Why?>

I was wasting my life until this age, just increasing my debt, but Bread is already steadily earning money at that young age. And she’s really good at drawing, so I don’t think she’s any less skilled than other professional illustrators.

“……It made me look back on how pathetic I am.”

I couldn’t say that I had debt or how much it was because it would ruin the mood, so I vaguely expressed it that way.

<So what! It’s the era of the 100-year lifespan, so you can be unemployed until you’re thirty! I don’t think it’s a big problem!>

No, she’s just saying that because it’s not about her. I think it’s a huge problem. There’s a certain feeling that only the person involved can understand.

<If you don’t quit streaming, unnie, you’ll definitely do well! Your voice is so nice, and you’re fun to be around. Heh heh. You just have to do well from now on!>

“Am I fun to be around?”

I’ve never thought of myself as a fun person.

In fact, before my body changed, I couldn’t secure even one viewer on my stream.

<Yes. It’s very fun to watch.>

“Are you, by any chance, making fun of me? If you are, I’ll be really hurt, you know?”

<Ooh, our baby is hurt again? Mommy will console you, so don’t be hurt anymore.>

“No? Ugh?”

I felt like I was going to lose my mind from embarrassment because I was being treated like a baby by a girl seven years younger than me.

But I didn’t dislike that feeling, which made me feel like I was becoming a really terrible person.

Ungae! I’m baby Ruffian! Feed me!

‘I’m going crazy.’

It’s a good thing it’s just a phone call. She can’t see my bright red face, right?

<Huh? Your face is really red right now, isn’t it?>

“No, how do you know that?”

Is there a hidden camera in my room?

<I can just imagine it. Wahaha. You’re so flustered, it’s so cute. Cute.>

“……”

Please stop saying I’m cute. My resistance to this has gone below zero.

I felt like I was losing something as a human being, and my whole body was trembling.

<Can I call you like this sometimes? When I want to hear someone’s voice, when I feel lonely, can I call you then?>

“Of course, but.”

Are you going to hang up now?

I wanted to ask that to Bread, who seemed to be wrapping things up.

‘I don’t want to, huh.’

Because I wanted to talk to her a little more.

“Are you busy now?”

I couldn’t say I wanted to talk more because I was a little embarrassed, so I said it indirectly like that.

<Hehe, unnie wants to talk to me more too, huh?>

“No, you seemed to be wrapping things up so quickly all of a sudden, so I was just asking if you were busy!”

<There’s no need to be so embarrassed. It’s natural for people to want to talk to someone when they’re lonely, right?>

“No, no, no.”

I’m acting really stupid right now, even to myself.

I can’t organize my emotions, and I can’t even speak properly, so I’m stuttering.

<Then let’s not hang up! I’m not a company employee anyway, and I don’t have a boss who will scold me for being on the phone all day!>

Does she mean to keep talking to me while working on her illustrations?

For me, who is lonely.

“You can hang up if you need to focus on work.”

<It’s fine! I’ll just think of it as having a communication radio on! Hehehe. Today, I have Ruffian all to myself?>

“……Eugene Ah. My family name is Eugene, and my given name is Ah.”

I uttered the name that I had received but never actually used.

It felt really strange to be called ‘Ruffian’ when we were talking one-on-one like this.

Isn’t it strange? Revealing my name isn’t a big deal, right?

<I’m Shin So-eun. Nice to meet you, Jin-ah unnie!>

She was full of energy from beginning to end. As if the loneliness she felt was a lie to comfort me.

“Yeah, uh-huh.”

An unfamiliar relationship. An unfamiliar name. An unfamiliar title. An unfamiliar situation.

All those unfamiliar things are really, really not bad, no, they’re good.

I smiled so widely that the corners of my mouth reached my ears.

Please, just listen to my words, corners of my mouth!

Really, it’s a good thing it’s just a phone call.

I wouldn’t be able to show this embarrassing smiling face to anyone.