Chapter 13: Going out

I achieved three consecutive wins in a row.

As expected of high-tier games, none of them were easy, but I still managed to win.

[Friend Requests (50)]

Perhaps because I hard-carried all the games, friend requests suddenly increased significantly.

[Friend Request from qq7785dd55]
[Accept/Decline]

[Friend Request from BangBangBang]
[Accept/Decline]

[Friend Request from Jungler’s s*ave]
[Accept/Decline]

[Friend Request from GRS JjangGa]
[Accept/Decline]

Among them, there were even a few current professionals and former professionals who were now coaches.

“Hmm.”

In the past, I would have gladly accepted these requests, but now… well…

It felt a bit like I was becoming detached, like a terminally ill patient facing their fate.

“I don’t really need to accept these, do I?”

But outright declining them would seem like ignoring their goodwill, so I decided to just leave them unseen.

After all, “Prisoner” would disappear soon anyway.

***

Prisoner
Rank 2
Solo Queue

• Challenger
• 1,684 LP / 245 Wins, 172 Losses
• Win Rate: 59%

***

Taking a break, I lay down on my bed and habitually checked a game stats site, only to realize that my ranking had gone up.

The gap between me and the first rank was now just about 20 points.

Winning two more games would be enough to close the gap.

“Should I play two more games?”

Honestly, I had already exceeded today’s quota by a lot.

In the past, I wouldn’t have even considered it and would have taken a break. However, ever since my body had become like this, playing games for hours on end felt effortless, which made me hesitate.

“Hmm, what should I do?”

If my rank was mediocre, I would have queued up without a second thought.

But at the highest levels of Challenger, each game was mentally exhausting, and while that fatigue might not show immediately, it would inevitably manifest in subtle decisions.

As I lay there, indecisive about whether to get up and queue again, a knock came at the door.

Knock knock.

“Come in.”

“Are you busy?”

It was my mother.

“Not really.”

“Good. Come with me somewhere.”

“Where to?”

Could it be something related to my identity?

If that was the case, there was no time to be playing games.

As important as being ranked first might be, it wasn’t more important than my future life.

“Shopping.”

But the word that came out of my mother’s mouth was completely unexpected.

“…Huh?”

“Let’s go shopping. I need to buy you some clothes.”

“Out of nowhere?”

It’s not like I don’t have clothes.

Actually, I have plenty.

“Can’t we just order online?”

After becoming a woman, I had bought various clothes online.

Not because I suddenly developed a hobby of grooming my appearance, but because my younger sibling and mother had nagged me into picking a few items.

Moreover, I hadn’t thrown away the clothes I wore as a man.

My body was already frail back then, so the sizes were quite similar. Besides, I still found my old clothes more comfortable.

“Clothes should be tried on in person before buying. How can you trust what you see online?”

“Nowadays, online stores offer scientifically and systematically designed sizes tailored to specific body measurements—”

“Be quiet.”

“Besides, I look good in anything.”

I threw out a random comment, and my mother, seemingly unable to find a counterargument, stood there with her mouth agape.

It worked.

Shaking her head in disbelief, my mother then declared, “Get dressed and come out.”

“…I haven’t showered yet.”

“Then just wash your hair and come out.”

I had never seen my mother take such a firm stance before, so I had no choice but to surrender.

“Uh… alright.”

The reason I avoided going out was simple.

What was once a dream of mine—stepping outside—had become a daunting prospect after spending over twenty years as a recluse.

For a shut-in like me, going outside was an entirely unfamiliar realm.

Letting out a deep sigh, I reluctantly started getting ready to go out.

For some reason, my long silver hair, which fell to my shoulders, felt especially bothersome today.

“Should I just chop it all off?”

But then I shook my head.

Cutting it all off felt like a waste—no, a huge waste.

“Let’s just get ready.”

Dragging my feet, I made my way to the bathroom.

I raised the blinds for what felt like the first time in ages and was greeted by a world blanketed in white.

At some point, I had stopped paying attention to the changing seasons.

I hadn’t needed to go outside, nor had I wanted to.

That was why I didn’t give much thought to my mother’s insistence on dressing warmly.

“Why… why is it so cold?”

As soon as I stepped out the front door, I was hit by the starkly white world and a piercing cold that felt like it was slicing through my skin.

“Ugh. Go back inside and put on a proper coat.”

“Alright.”

I hurriedly retreated back into the house.

To think I had no idea there was such a cold wave raging outside…

‘Come to think of it, I’ve rarely felt the seasons while inside the house.’

Whether there was a heatwave warning, a cold wave warning, heavy rain, or even a snowstorm, I had never felt any discomfort inside the house.

‘It must have been because of me.’

It’s not a new realization, but I suddenly understood how much effort my parents had put into meticulously regulating the temperature at home.

“Ugh.”

Bundled up in a long padded coat, the quintessential symbol of winter, with a scarf wrapped halfway around my face and a fur hat on my head, I finally stepped outside.

“…Are you heading to the North Pole or something?”

“For me, this is the North Pole. Let’s go already—it’s freezing.”

“I’ll bring the car around. Wait here,” said Mom.

“Oh, okay.”

Thankfully, we were traveling by car.

Standing there idly while waiting, I got a bit bored and decided to step on the snow, which I might not have seen in years.

Crunch, crunch.

The sensation of stepping on snow for the first time in my life… What should I say about it? It wasn’t as soft and fluffy as I had imagined.

Watching actors in dramas walk on freshly fallen snow always made me think it would be fun to roll around in it, but it seems that was just a thought.

As I walked on the snow, lost in thought, a familiar car approached, and the window rolled down.

Judging by the look of it, my mom had arrived earlier and had been watching me for a while.

“If you were here, you could’ve just said something.”

“It was nice to watch.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Anyway, get in.”

“Okay.”

If I had been younger when I first experienced walking, I might have reacted differently.

The sight of snow for the first time, the feeling of stepping on it… I would’ve tried my best to imprint this intense experience into my memory.

But now, what should I say… My mind feels old. That’s how it is.

Instead of marveling at the romance of it, I worried about the cold right in front of me.

“So… cold…”

“The heater’s on; it’ll warm up soon. Hang in there.”

In the past, my mother would’ve been overly concerned the moment I said I was cold, but now she seemed much calmer.

That didn’t mean her composed demeanor felt entirely unfamiliar, though.

‘Hmm.’

As I tried to recall where I had seen that side of my mother before, it struck me—it was the same demeanor she often showed when dealing with my younger sibling.

Just as I was slowly adapting to my new self, my mother was also adjusting to this version of me.

‘It’s not necessarily a bad thing.’

Change is scary, but that doesn’t mean you can avoid it forever.

I had changed, and I would continue to change.

All I could do was accept this transformation as calmly as possible.

Little by little.

I was becoming another version of myself.

Through the foggy car window, blurred by condensation, the scenery of the city swept by.

It was already January.

Even though the much-talked-about White Christmas from the news had passed, the world remained coated in white.

While I stared blankly out the window, lost in thought, we arrived at the department store.

“Be careful when opening the door. If you scratch the car next to us, we’ll have to pay for it.”

“Oh, right.”

Since I had never opened a car door myself before, I nearly left an “honor mark” on the neighboring car.

“Oops.”

After struggling a bit to open the door and step out, the bustling scene of the department store parking lot filled my view.

People here.

People there.

People, people, people, people, people.

‘…I feel sick.’

It seemed this shopping trip was going to be anything but easy.