I want to be a man with two flowers

In the capital of the Great Yīng Empire, there was a small town on the outskirts, long governed by a background-noble family—this was Longtao Town.

The climate here was pleasant, the people were simple and kind—how is this not a metropolis?

Isn’t this the very image of international flair and twofold prosperity?

As the town’s lord and the son of Longtao Yi, Longtao Er used to think the same.

His daily activities consisted of finding ways to spend the money others gifted him, then striking a few poses with the local knights during inspections.

The life of the wealthy and privileged was just that plain and boring.

But recently, in order to deal with an official task, he had someone arrest a local flower-picking gang.

And that’s when Longtao Er was horrified to discover—maybe his status and territory weren’t all that impressive after all!

After all, even a female investigator from the imperial capital dared to boss him around like she owned the place!

How dare she!

Longtao Er immediately had a new idea: he needed to move closer to the capital of the Great Yīng Empire.

Once there, why would he ever need to look at others’ faces for approval?

And if there was any family in the empire that everyone wanted to curry favor with, aside from the still-unmarried Queen Louis IV—who had gifted countless men with dreams—then it had to be the imperial-relative, the genius among geniuses, the beautiful girl Kefir!

An unmarried queen? Hmph, definitely suspicious.

Who knows how messy her private life is?

With his identity and status, would he accept second-hand goods?

The clever Longtao Er set his sights on Kefir—whom he hadn’t even met.

Going straight at her would be too ungentlemanly.

So instead, Longtao Er planned to take his priest certification and apply to become her personal priest.

Then he’d charm her with his wit and allure, and finally… hehehe~

However, unexpected events completely shattered Longtao Er’s plans.

—

At this moment, inside Longtao Er’s mansion.

“What did you say?! The gold bars were returned!?”

After days of holding it in, Longtao Er finally exploded, furiously kicking the messenger away.

The kicked servant grimaced inside, but could only plaster a flattering smile.

“The priest recruiter at the church said this time’s interviews must follow formal procedures. Since you left early, the certification’s already been handed out…”

“Bull. Shit!”

To become a certified priest, one needed a license—and getting one wasn’t easy.

Longtao Er had gone through all sorts of trouble to hear that the church had one opening.

He even took gold bars from his stingy father and sent them to the examiner.

He’d finally gotten the answer to the interview question out of that fat pig.

And now? The money was gone!

The certification was handed to some poor kid!?

That fat bastard still dared to claim it was “by the book”?!

Back when he took the gold, he looked like he wanted to swallow them whole!

“Why!?”

“Uh… I did ask, but that fatty wouldn’t say! He just said to wait till next time—guaranteed free!”

“So you came back!? If he offered buy-one-get-one-free, would you treat him to drinks too!? Get lost!”

That priest certificate was Longtao Er’s golden ticket to the capital—to approach Kefir!

With his charm, speech, and manners, it’d be a breeze to win her heart.

The priest gig was just a front.

Once he had her—hmph, he’d rule the empire sideways!

How could he wait!?

“Then… I’ll go find him again…”

“Find your mom! That fatty’s useless! The one we need is that guy named Li De!”

Thinking about women calmed Longtao Er slightly.

That fatty must’ve been bluffed by the poor kid.

After all, that brat suddenly muttered something about “account books” that scared him half to death.

But after rushing back, he found the books safely locked in the safe!

Just like last time, that shady brat tricked him and stole the certificate!

Daring to act wild in his territory? He’s like a bamboo rat tossed into a hotpot—does he want to die!?

Just then, the bootlicker finally offered some useful info.

“In that case, I know where he is!”

“What?”

“That guy who stole your certificate! I saw him the other day walking down the street with a woman on each arm. Soon as he got the license, he started scamming girls! Didn’t even try to hide it!”

“F***!”

One word summed up Longtao Er’s entire mood.

Honestly, he was kind of jealous.

And it only made him more eager for the day he got the certificate and approached Kefir.

If a broke brat could hug two girls with just a card, then someone like him—ten times better—could easily bag Kefir!

With that thought, Longtao Er wanted to immediately knock the brat out and steal the certificate back.

He yanked the bootlicker closer.

“Can you still find him!?”

“Heh heh, of course! I figured you’d try to steal it back, so I already found out where they’re staying.”

“Useful for once.”

Longtao Er let go of him.

In this town, who would dare oppose him?

That shady kid? He can enjoy the certificate for a few days—he’s got the guts to take it, but not the luck to use it!

“Tell a few knights to change clothes. Pick a time—we’ll go and take it back!”

“Uh…”

“What are you afraid of? Who dares oppose me? I don’t like that brat’s face anyway. Beat him up, throw him in a sack, and dump him in the river!”

There were thousands of ways to kill someone.

But for some reason, Longtao Er fixated on river-dumping this time.

Didn’t matter how—just kill him.

He needed that certificate to get Kefir.

And that poor brat?

He was nothing.