Chapter 13: Sibling Squabbles and Silent Support

Song Chae-hyun stirred the soup in the pot with a ladle.

She always included soup as an essential part of the meal.

Warm soup is hearty and easy to make in large quantities.

Still, preparing breakfast took Song Chae-hyun a long time.

This was because she had to prepare breakfast not only for herself but also for her five younger siblings.

Recently, the fourth and fifth siblings, who were six and seven years old, had been growing rapidly, increasing the amount of food needed.

Although her finances were still sufficient for now, she thought, I’ll have to consider this more when they grow up.

Song Chae-hyun sighed as she tasted the soup with a spoon, nodded her head, and turned her face to the side.

“Hey, everyone, let’s eat!”

But what she heard was the thin voices of two kids arguing.

With a sigh, Song Chae-hyun stepped out of the kitchen and walked briskly toward the children’s room.

As she approached, the sound of their argument became clearer.

“Hey, that’s mine!”

“The one who touched it first gets to keep it!”

As she neared the open door, she saw that the fourth and fifth siblings were fighting over a toy.

Song Chae-hyun sighed again.

Despite having bought so many toys, they were fighting over just one.

Yesterday, they had fought over a fire truck stuck in the corner, and now they were arguing over a police car they had shoved there the day before.

The fire truck was still stuck in that corner.

She couldn’t understand the psychology of young children at all.

“Min-jun, Min-seok, you need to get along!”

With the ladle raised behind her, she approached them and said in a gentle tone.

“I’m going to play with it first!”

“No, I’m going to play with it first!”

However, the kids stared at Song Chae-hyun for a moment before they resumed their argument.

Lately, the youngest ones had been ignoring her words more often.

Because she had always treated them too gently, they had started to underestimate her.

Song Chae-hyun was not unaware of this.

She knew that being overly kind wasn’t the only way to be a good guardian.

So, she steeled herself.

And in a low voice, she said,

“Hey, kids.”

“Hey, Song Min-jun. Song Min-seok.”

The second voice did not belong to Song Chae-hyun.

It was a cold voice that came from behind her.

At the sound of that voice, the youngest ones flinched and exchanged wary glances.

“Okay, okay…”

As the older Song Min-seok lowered his head and put down the toy, Song Min-jun also nodded heavily and quickly dashed outside.

The owner of that voice was 16-year-old Song Chae-rin, the second sibling.

As she looked at her older sister, she adjusted her glasses.

“The kids are getting bigger. You’re going to have a tough time.”

Song Chae-rin said in a cynical tone.

It was hard to believe they came from the same womb, as the two had such different appearances.

“Haha…”

While Song Chae-hyun was a bright and healthy-looking woman, Song Chae-rin was a quiet woman with glasses.

She was slightly taller than Song Chae-hyun.

“Is breakfast almost ready? I have to go to tutoring this weekend, so give me less.”

“Got it.”

Song Chae-hyun smiled and, as per her usual habit, reached to pat her sister’s head.

Song Chae-rin flinched and dodged it.

“I’m not a kid anymore. There’s only a five-year difference between us anyway…”

“To me, you still look like a kid.”

As Song Chae-hyun spoke and tried to pat her head again, Song Chae-rin sighed and finally let her do it.

As her head was stroked, Song Chae-rin asked,

“Where are you going, unnie?”

“Oh, right. I’m going to meet a sibling.”

“Who? Did you finally get a boyfriend?”

“No, it’s not like that. It’s a younger classmate. I recently became friends with a girl.”

“Hmm… is that so?”

Song Chae-rin quickly lost interest and walked out the door with a nasal sound.

“Just sit tight. I’ll clean up the toys and be right back.”

“Okay.”

Oh, right.

At that moment, Song Chae-hyun remembered that Song Chae-rin was around the same age as her.

“Hey, Chae-rin.”

“Yeah?”

At that word, Song Chae-rin stopped walking.

While reminiscing about the past, Song Chae-hyun spoke slowly.

“Is it possible that someone your age doesn’t know how to wear a bra or use sanitary pads? Are kids these days different?”

“What?”

Song Chae-rin looked baffled by the question and then sighed deeply before responding.

“Unnie, did you see that in a public service announcement again?”

She continued with a hint of disdain in her tone.

“Unnie, stop watching stuff about things like sanitary pad liners or tissue pads or band bras. Why don’t you just fly off to a poor country and live there? There are way more people who are worse off.”

“No, that’s not it… I’m really asking because I saw it. A close friend’s younger sister said so.”

“The one you’re going to meet?”

“Oh, no!? It’s someone else.”

While it was technically true, she denied it for the sake of Moon i-hyun’s privacy.

“Uh… but is that really possible?”

Song Chae-hyun asked again.

“Hmm.”

In response, Song Chae-rin crossed her arms, put her hand on her mouth, and thought for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

That doesn’t make sense.

“Well, kids these days, or rather, there’s only a five-year difference between you and me, but anyway, kids these days are more mature. They hug and hold hands at school… Ugh.”

Song Chae-rin pretended to gag as she spoke.

“Is that so…”

“That kid is weird… or.”

Song Chae-rin muttered as an afterthought.

“Maybe their home environment is really bad.”

With that, Song Chae-rin left the room.

Song Chae-hyun stood alone for a moment, lost in thought.

I should treat her well.

At that moment, she reflected on the scars on her arms and wrists and sighed.

This should be fine.

She pulled out the hair hidden under her hoodie with both hands.

As a result, her gray hair spilled out and waved beautifully.

She looked at her reflection in the cloudy bathroom mirror.

She was wearing a plain white hoodie and gray sweatpants.

Her long gray hair and gray eyes looked at her.

The black hoodie also suited her well, but bright tones looked better with her unusual hair and eye color.

The oversized hoodie looked decent, but the gray sweatpants didn’t fit her in length or waist, so she rolled them up and tied them with a belt.

She originally wanted to wear something a bit more neat.

But all the clothes in that style didn’t fit her.

It felt too wasteful to throw them away just because they didn’t fit, but selling them?

She didn’t know. Every time she erased traces of her past, it felt like she was disappearing, which made her hesitant.

Anyway,

I look good.

I turned my body this way and that, checking my appearance as I spoke.

As I twisted, my gray hair flowed and fell.

After all, I was meeting a girl, and I wanted to at least look good.

If you asked me whether I liked girls, I wouldn’t really know, but it felt like a habit.

And if you asked whether I liked guys… I wasn’t sure about that either.

It seemed like I was noticing guys more often lately, but anyway.

“Hmm.”

I stepped closer to the mirror, checked my face thoroughly, nodded, and then left the bathroom, heading to the front door.

The sky outside was still dark blue, but I could see the sun gradually rising over the highest ridge of the mountains beyond the numerous apartment buildings.

Watching that, I thought.

What do I want?

After pushing everyone away since high school, I had now pushed everyone out completely.

So why was I not rejecting Song Chae-hyun?

Wasn’t it me who suddenly grew to hate humanity and cut off all ties?

As I pondered this, I gazed at the brightening sky.

Yet, the question I had been contemplating since yesterday still had no answer.

I didn’t know.

Life is just full of uncertainties.

There must be some reason why I suddenly want to meet people.

If I really didn’t want to, I could just push them away.

I felt sorry for Song Chae-hyun, though.

I shook off those stray thoughts and stepped out the door.

I had made the appointment for the morning, but I had to leave at dawn.

It’s not that I didn’t have money for bus or subway fare, but I thought it better not to ride.

In fact, it’s probably better not to ride anything at all.

The subway is the same; it’s all just a means of transportation.

If I took a car and got hit by a truck, I’d be dead.

If I took a truck and got hit by a bus, I’d be dead.

Taking a bus isn’t safe either.

A medium-sized truck can easily twist the trajectory of a bus.

If the bus crumples and crashes into the rail, the bus without airbags would be enough to turn my fragile head into mush.

Or, if a bus hits where I am, I’d die immediately since there are no seatbelts or airbags.

Especially with my light and weak body.

And how can I trust the bus driver?

What if he has an accident record, but today is just the day he hasn’t fully recovered from the alcohol he drank yesterday?

What if he has bad intentions and is planning a double suicide?

In the case of the subway, what if someone has bad intentions and cuts off the tracks?

With all these reasonable thoughts in mind, I chose to walk.

Walking doesn’t eliminate the possibility of dying, but it’s significantly lower than on the road.

If I had known that back then, maybe my mom too. My younger sibling too.

“…Ah.”

I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

I barely pulled myself back from the abyss of thought again.

Let’s just walk.

Eventually, I’ll forget about it.

The meeting place was in front of a plaza. I sat on the outskirts, staring at the ground with my hood covering my head.

I had stuffed my hair deep inside the hood.

I felt embarrassed to meet people’s gazes.

It felt like when I went out with Song Chae-hyun, when I went to the police station, or when I visited a convenience store.

Wherever I went, whether it was with a guy or a girl, attention was focused on me.

When I was in a daze during those three times, I didn’t really care, but now that I was in my right mind, I could feel the stares, and it made me blush.

I understood in my head that it was unusual to see gray hair and gray eyes, but still…

It was embarrassing.

So, while walking to the meeting place, I kept my hood pulled down tightly.

Even so, those approaching from the front couldn’t seem to take their eyes off me.

When I checked my phone for the time, I realized I had arrived about 30 minutes early.

I usually plan to arrive an hour early, but I guess my pace had slowed significantly this time.

While looking at my phone, I noticed a familiar figure in the distance.

Her tall stature was clearly visible even from afar.

…I envy that.

Since she had arrived early, she was looking around, but when she didn’t see me, she just sat down.

I must have been hidden since I was sitting in a corner.

I approached her from behind and lightly tapped her shoulder.

“…?”

“Ah…”

Song Chae-hyun’s eyes were so cold, they felt like they could freeze me.

That cold gaze scared me a lot.

Did she have that kind of expression too?

I flinched and quickly withdrew my hand.

“Uh, uh? Did you come already, Lee Hyun?”

Then Song Chae-hyun, looking flustered, turned her body to face me and a warm look returned to her eyes.

“Yes, I came a bit early.”

I smiled and nodded, pulling off the hood of my hoodie and letting my hair fall loose.

With that, my gray hair became disheveled.

Song Chae-hyun looked at it and gasped, opening her mouth.

“Lee Hyun. I couldn’t ask last time because I was out of it.”

“Yeah?”

“Is your hair color and eye color dyed or are you wearing contacts?”

Saying “yes” might seem less strange, but if we’re going to keep meeting like this, it would probably look odd.

So I decided to just be honest.

“It’s genetic. I don’t really know why.”

“Oh, I see…”

Song Chae-hyun seemed to think it wouldn’t be good to pry any further; she nodded slightly and spoke.

“Is there anywhere specific you want to go? I’ll treat you.”

“I’ll go wherever you want. I eat well, after all.”

The word “sister,” which had now become second nature, slipped from my lips, accompanied by a small sigh.

“Alright. Let’s play to our hearts’ content today, have lunch, and dinner too.”

Song Chae-hyun smiled at me as she spoke, but I couldn’t manage a smile in return.

“But are you really okay?” I asked.

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“It must be expensive…”

There’s no way she has a lot of money. With five younger siblings, how much could it cost?

It’s a blessing that they’re still young and educational expenses are lower for now.

In response, Song Chae-hyun smiled and ruffled my hair.

“Don’t worry about those things. I have plenty of money.”

“But you’re my age…”

It seemed there was some misunderstanding.

But, well, I didn’t feel the need to correct her. Honestly, I wasn’t sure about the age of this body either.

It looks like an adult, but at the same time, it feels a bit less mature than an adult.

Except for that part, of course.

I had said I was 21, but later, if I had grown as tall as Song Chae-hyun, what would I even say?

I wished it would turn out that way.

So let’s just go with it for now.

Song Chae-hyun glanced at me for a moment, then looked ahead and said,

“Oh, by the way, you had breakfast, right?”

“Ah, yes.”

“Good, then…”

Suddenly, Song Chae-hyun grabbed my hand.

“Let’s go buy some clothes.”

“Excuse me?”