The Woes of a Ghost Marriage

“What is it?” Liu Hanzhi asked, watching Bai Wanwan stare transfixed at her phone. The faint glow illuminated Bai Wanwan’s delicate features, and Liu Hanzhi could clearly discern a trace of a smile playing on her lips, while a flicker of hope danced in her eyes. It made her incredibly curious about what Bai Wanwan had seen to elicit such a reaction.

“The consolation payment for last night’s ordeal has arrived,” Bai Wanwan declared, convinced she wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest. Frankly, that livestream from the previous night was enough to be indelibly etched into the ignominious annals of her life. She used to enjoy ‘abstract’ humor without a second thought, but now, having to grapple with such ‘abstract’ things herself, she found herself utterly out of her depth. In a word: ‘I’m never doing abstract stuff again.’

“Is that your earnings from last night’s stream? There must be a lot, right? Let me see! Let me see!” Liu Hanzhi’s voice suddenly bubbled with an inexplicable excitement, leaving Bai Wanwan completely unable to fathom the source of her fervor.

“It’s only a paltry hundred yuan, and that’s just the base salary. Did you truly believe anyone would buy those exorbitantly priced paper effigies and spirit money?” Bai Wanwan couldn’t for the life of her understand what her company was thinking. Not a single item sold all night, yet they received fifty yuan in gift money, which was then to be divided three ways. Add to that Bai Wanwan’s hundred yuan base salary, and she didn’t earn a single cent, but actually ended up in debt. What was the grand strategy?

“A hundred yuan is more than enough to sustain us both.”

“Wait!” Bai Wanwan interrupted Liu Hanzhi abruptly. Looking at her brazen expression, she resisted the urge to slap her thigh. “What do you mean, ‘enough to sustain us both’? Am I supposed to support you, too?” Bai Wanwan frowned deeply.

“What else? We’re already married; the marriage certificate is clearly displayed right there. And I don’t have any money… I need to eat my fill before I can help you earn money, you know. I don’t eat much; a mere three sticks of incense a day will keep me perfectly sated,” Liu Hanzhi explained, then added, “Though, I am quite particular about my incense. Please try to avoid cheap varieties, and imported ones are absolutely out of the question; they must be purely domestic.”

Faced with Liu Hanzhi’s brazen, unending pronouncements, Bai Wanwan rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You had money to flirt with pretty female streamers on a livestream site, but no money for incense? Who would believe that?” Bai Wanwan waved her hand dismissively. She knew perfectly well how much genuine incense for Liu Hanzhi would cost. The piles of cheap incense available for a few yuan on the market were utterly worthless, even as mosquito repellent. Genuine incense fit for ghosts and deities was meticulously crafted and made from select materials, so its price would naturally not be cheap. Moreover, for those unfamiliar with the trade, explaining why incense that usually cost a few cents could sell for dozens or even hundreds per stick would be met with curses, and uttering a few harsh words would be putting it mildly. Thus, such items were difficult to procure, at least in Bai City. Simply put… she’d have to pay a premium.

“My money is all spent. To look at it another way, all my money was spent on our fated encounter.”

*Snap!* This time, Bai Wanwan could no longer restrain herself. She delivered a sharp slap to Liu Hanzhi’s full, pale thigh, and a distinct red mark quickly appeared on the toned flesh. “Enough of your glib remarks!”

“That’s not true… my money was all used to arrange this ghost marriage. I cut corners wherever possible. See the red fabric draped from the ceiling? I cut that myself and painstakingly hung it while you were out. And the double happiness character by the door? I cut that myself too, following a tutorial video.” Liu Hanzhi complained with a hint of grievance, detailing how difficult it had been to arrange this ghost marriage.

“The most costly items, however, were that marriage certificate and the paper effigy I had you burn. Do you know how arduous it was for me, a ghost unable to reincarnate, to procure such items? I had to use money to smooth the way…” As Liu Hanzhi spoke, Bai Wanwan almost pictured her toiling away, decorating the ghost marriage room. She imagined her stretching onto her tiptoes, struggling to fasten the red silk ribbons to the ceiling, and perhaps even standing with her hands on her hips, admiring her handiwork with satisfaction.

“But I’m the victim here, aren’t I?” Bai Wanwan’s single sentence instantly shattered Liu Hanzhi’s aggrieved facade, bringing her back to reality. If it weren’t for this little ghost clinging to her, would she have fallen to such a plight?

“Ah, fate is a mysterious thing, beyond explanation. Don’t get caught up in all those minor details. How about this… I’ll teach you how to use your unique abilities to earn money, hmm? Heh heh…”

Watching Liu Hanzhi’s innocent yet mischievous grin, Bai Wanwan expressionlessly raised her palm. *Snap!* “Ow!” Accompanying Liu Hanzhi’s pained cry, another distinct slap mark appeared on her other thigh. The small, delicate imprint, like a unique brand upon Liu Hanzhi’s skin, making one feel… rather suggestive.