Titania’s Confession and a Reluctant Return

Phew.

Titania took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to steady her fluttering heart. Ensi did not rush her; he waited in the quiet silence for her to find her voice.

“Um… do you think everyone dislikes Agniele?”

“It’s not so much that they dislike him. It’s more that it’s an unexpected situation they haven’t processed yet, so they’re reacting sensitively.”

“Still, it feels a bit harsh—.”

Titania’s voice trailed off as she tilted her head. Ensi’s casual tone made her second-guess her own judgment. In truth, Ensi also felt the club members were being a bit overly critical, but he chose to keep his mouth shut.

As Ensi’s silence stretched, Titania reconsidered. Ensi knew the members better than she did. Whatever the reason, it was clear they didn’t approve of Agniele.

Did they think Agniele was lacking compared to Ensi? She couldn’t know their inner thoughts, but there was one thing she was certain of…

“My thoughts are different from the others.”

She whispered it softly, with a hint of hesitation and a firm resolve, like a confession. Ensi could feel the weight of that single sentence—the many internal conflicts she had swallowed before letting the words out.

He knew how difficult it was to say “It’s okay” when everyone else was saying “No.” Even in a private setting, it required a brand of courage that others might not understand.

“I don’t know if Agniele is ‘lacking.’ Unlike the others, I’m slow when it comes to those kinds of calculations… But Ensi, is Agniele’s love really such a bad thing?”

Titania spoke the words as they came to her, unable to gauge the exact expression she wanted. Yet, Ensi understood perfectly what she was trying to convey through her unrefined speech.

“You know, Ensi. Everyone tells me to be careful because Sirius’s love borders on the extreme. But… that’s exactly why I like it.”

Titania brought up her own story, knowing it was sudden. Even though he already knew the details, Ensi didn’t interrupt. He simply lowered his gaze and listened.

“Of course, by that standard, Herdin wasn’t bad either… but I didn’t want to live with someone who might kill me at any moment.”

“There was no reason to.”

“Mm, right. Thanks to Sirius, there’s no reason to anymore.”

Titania let out a small laugh, though it wasn’t a laughing matter. This was, well… a habit she had picked up back when no one would listen to her cries. Unconsciously, she tightened her arms around her legs.

“I want to be loved. I don’t mind if it’s obsession. In fact, I prefer it. Because then I can know for sure that I’m being loved.”

Speaking a truth she had never shared with anyone was difficult, but at the same time, easier than she had imagined. Perhaps it was because the person listening was Ensi. Having let it out once, she felt a great sense of relief and liberation, so she continued without struggle.

“A love that people call ‘universal’ and ‘normal’ isn’t satisfying to me. I don’t really understand just saying ‘I love you.’ It’s just… that’s how I am.”

“Titania.”

Ensi frowned slightly as Titania revealed the void she had worked so hard to hide. Unable to see his expression, she leaned her back closer to his. The warmth transmitted through the fabric was somewhat cooler than the surrounding air.

“We weren’t loved like they were.”

The other club members had built bonds and shared love in their own ways. Even after being reincarnated, they lived lives where they received as much emotion as they gave. Unlike themselves.

Memories of a stained childhood resurfaced, and Titania unconsciously clenched her fists so hard her nails left marks. A sharp pain pierced her mind, but she couldn’t relax her grip.

“I thought I was okay, you know? Even though I’m rejected by my family now, I was loved and I loved in my previous life… so I thought I could endure it. No, I was sure I was doing fine, but—.”

Her voice cracked as emotions surged. She buried her face in her knees and shook her head somewhat violently.

“It was arrogance. Not knowing how terrible indifference and rejection really are…”

Worn down to the bone, she had met Sirius and Herdin. She followed the original plot with a sliver of hope, and when she finally received their irrational love as she had wanted… only after experiencing herself feeling relief, rather than fear or terror, did she realize.

That she hadn’t been okay at all.

Over fifteen years of solitude was more than enough to overshadow the happy memories of her past life. It dug deeper than those memories, shaking and collapsing everything she thought she had built up.

And because of that, Titania knew—at least vaguely—that Ensi, who had lived a similar life, would be the same, if not worse.

“Of course, you’re stronger than me, Ensi, so you might be different.”

Ensi wasn’t like her, who had simply stood by and watched the rough waves tear down the sandcastle she had painstakingly built. Unlike her, who only knew how to stand there stupidly, hadn’t he built a breakwater to block the lawless waves?

“Even so, Ensi. I hope you don’t just keep avoiding Agniele. Maybe he can find a feeling in you that even you don’t know about.”

Just like me.

The corners of her forced smile trembled. She wasn’t in a mood to laugh, but perhaps because she had made it a habit to smile whenever talking to others, a smile appeared naturally.

“…Still, it’s hard to accept a confession that doubles as a sudden marriage proposal.”

Ensi couldn’t bring himself to reject her gentle suggestion. Instead, he spoke in a deliberately light tone to change the mood. He couldn’t coldly turn away from her persuasion when she was mentioning a past she had once claimed she wanted to erase from her mind.

“Ahahaha— right. That’s hard. I would have rejected that too.”

Above all, they were naturally suspicious people, unlikely to be won over by a few words. In a situation where they couldn’t even easily trust common reputation or information, they couldn’t entrust everything to a single confession. The well they possessed was already dry; there was no share left for a complete stranger.

“So, let’s just watch. Just that much. Don’t go closer, don’t go further, just stay where you are.”

Let’s wait for the darkness to pass and the white night to come, together.

Ensi had no choice but to nod at the voice carrying a faint hope that seemed ready to flicker out at any moment.

“Eh? Why are you here?”

Ensi suppressed his complicated feelings and tilted his head at the voice that was clearly thick with surprise.

“You’re reacting like I’ve come somewhere I shouldn’t be.”

“You have the right to attend class. But he takes this class too.”

Ensi’s lips twitched at the added comment that she hadn’t expected to see his face in class for a while. Normally, he would have skipped as she said.

“…Are you being blackmailed? What’s with that face?”

Lily showed a look of distaste as she faced Ensi’s ambiguous expression, which seemed caught between two worlds.

“Circumstances.”

Titania—who normally tried to avoid being alone with anyone to prevent Sirius from getting the wrong idea—had gone out of her way to seek him out and give him that advice. He couldn’t possibly skip class now. If she heard that he hadn’t attended, she would surely start overthinking, wondering if she had said something unnecessary.

“Mm, of course. But you’re attending anyway, right?”

Ensi nodded slowly at the reality he wanted to deny. Not knowing the details but having secured Ensi’s affirmation, Lily smiled satisfactorily.

“Then let’s go quickly. Class starts soon.”

Ensi wanted to say he planned to slip into the lecture hall secretly after the professor had started, but Lily moved faster. He had no choice but to follow her as she grabbed his cold hand and practically ran, suppressing his desire to be anywhere else.

“Don’t worry too much. Agniele will probably lay low. It hasn’t been long since he caused that scene, right?”

“Does he have that much tact?”

“Ah… but among Agniele’s friends, there’s Genea? He’s quite knowledgeable about romance. Surely he would have told him to hold back?”

In the original, it was Genea who gave all sorts of advice to the socially inept Agniele, so surely he would have played a similar role this time. Ensi nodded at Lily’s explanation, harboring a wish that it were so.

The two entered the lecture hall side by side just before class began.

“Ensius.”

And in less than five minutes, they heard a call that ruthlessly crushed that hope. As soon as he heard the voice, Ensi turned his gaze to Lily.

Lily hurriedly shook her head to signal her innocence under Ensi’s blatant stare. It wasn’t something she could control; her prediction had simply been wrong. Ensi suppressed a sigh at her look of pure injustice and slowly turned toward where Agniele was standing.

Truly, it wasn’t her fault.

“What is it?”

Ensi asked back with his habitual smile, but Agniele hesitated to speak, which was unlike him.

“Wow—.”

I’ve never seen him hesitate before. Ensi shot a displeased look at Lily, who had taken a step back and was whispering. Warned to restrain herself, Lily snapped her mouth shut and winked.

“About yesterday… I’m sorry. I was inconsiderate.”

“Ah…”

This was an unexpected turn. Ensi’s composed face distorted slightly. Though it was only for a brief moment, the observant Agniele caught it. Thinking he was being a burden again, Agniele took a small step back.

“It’s fine. I don’t think it’s something you need to apologize for.”

Ensi regained his senses and gave a delayed reply. Agniele, who had been clenching his hands in tension, brightened at the calm voice.

Ensi’s eyebrows lowered slightly at the reaction of the man who—whatever he was imagining—was showing his heart quite transparently. He honestly couldn’t understand why Agniele was reacting like that toward him.