Chapter 14: I’m Tired

Before joining the company and starting my life as a salaried worker, I thought that going to a large corporation meant I wouldn’t have to work overtime.

The stories of office workers circulating online, especially the screams of pitiful members of society suffering under unscrupulous bosses, usually originated from small and medium-sized enterprises, particularly the unconscionable companies commonly called “shitty SMEs.”

Overtime is a basic passive skill, and the daily life of a small business is full of all sorts of irrational and unfair things.

Watching those stories, I vowed. I would get a job at a large corporation no matter what.

“…So…we’re working overtime today, right?”

“Well…you’re used to it now, aren’t you?”

But just because it’s a large corporation doesn’t mean you don’t work overtime.

Rather, maybe because there’s so much work, it feels like we do it very often.

Of course, it’s not like the stories from SMEs where they trap people for unreasonable reasons. In the vast majority of cases, there is a valid reason.

It’s not like you can just leave work arbitrarily when the work isn’t finished. Besides, they don’t skimp on overtime pay, so other than the fact that there’s no choice, it’s not bad.

“Then shall we slowly suck down some caffeine potion~. What would Hanbyeol like to drink? Americano…I doubt it.”

“Ahahaha…”

I think I’ve said it before, but I’m very bad at drinking coffee. I can barely drink an Americano even if I add twice as much water.

It’s not that caffeine doesn’t agree with me. I drink energy drinks just fine. I guess you could say I just don’t like the bitterness unique to coffee.

“Dabang coffee will do? Seriously, your taste is so old-fashioned.”

“It’s called dabang coffee, but it’s just coffee mix…”

So usually when I need caffeine, I take coffee mix or energy drinks. The reason I use the expression “take” instead of “drink” is…I think everyone knows why.

“Then…let’s do our best today too.”

Potion is medicine. Caffeine is potion. Therefore, caffeine is medicine.

There’s no expression that fits better than “take” when taking medicine, right?

“…Come to think of it, I wonder if Team Leader’s cat is okay.”

“Huh? What did you say? Cat?”

“Ah, it’s nothing, never mind.”

Suddenly, I remembered Team Leader’s cat that I met on the street on the way home last time. A very plump cat with bright, sparkling eyes.

That guy, he came out looking for his owner who didn’t come home on time.

If it’s that kind of cat, I’m worried that he might run away again this time to find his owner.

Of course, even Team Leader can’t escape the swamp of overtime. The higher the position, the greater the responsibility and the more work there is.

“Let’s finish as quickly as possible…at least so we don’t miss the last train.”

Well, I didn’t have any extra energy to worry about someone else’s cat right now.

――

I’m going to die.

No matter how many times I experience it, working overtime doesn’t seem like something a person should do.

No matter how good your stamina is, no matter how enthusiastic you are about your work, it’s hard to work while looking at the dark world beyond the window.

The sun doesn’t wait for people with their feet tied, it hides its face, and instead, the moon that rises mocks the people who can’t sleep and wander the night.

For me, who has always hated the night, working overtime was especially difficult.

“I finished everything…but…Hanbyeol, aren’t you leaving? Why is your computer still on?”

“There’s something…that’s bothering me. I’m checking again to see if I missed anything.”

But whether I hate the night or not has nothing to do with work. As if the preferences of a mere employee matter.

“Do you want me to help?”

“No, please go home first. Maybe it’s just because my nerves are on edge.”

I’m used to making mistakes and I’m used to being scolded for them. But who would like to be severely reprimanded?

Since the first time I was scolded by Team Leader, I’ve been approaching everything with the mindset of looking again even at a fire that’s gone out. Most of the time, these expectations of mine are just unfounded worries…but still, safety first.

“Anyway…then I’m going home first? Hanbyeol, don’t get too hung up on that and go home soon, you have to go to work again tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

After the last colleague left in the office disappeared, only the sound of typing on the keyboard echoed in the dark office.

I always feel this way, but it’s really eerie at times like this. And lonely…

“What are you doing?”

“Hyaaak!!??”

At the voice that flowed into my ear, I inadvertently screamed.

“…Is it really that surprising?”

“T, Team Leader?”

And belatedly, I realized that the person who spoke to me was Team Leader.

Team Leader seemed surprised by my outburst, and froze in the position of trying to put a hand on my shoulder and then taking it off.

“Why haven’t you gone home yet…”

“Well, I’m the Team Leader. You’re the one who hasn’t gone home yet, why are you still on the computer?”

It seemed that Team Leader found it quite strange that I was still at the company even after everyone else had left.

“I finished all the work, but I was checking to see if I missed anything or made any mistakes.”

“You could do that tomorrow. The company doesn’t expect you to do your job perfectly without mistakes in one day.”

“Ahaha…”

If I honestly said that I was trying to make sure you wouldn’t find fault with me because I hate being scolded by you…you’d probably get mad.

“Go home, Hanbyeol. Don’t be late tomorrow.”

“Yes…”

I can’t not go home when my boss tells me to go home. Of course.

“Aren’t you going home, Team Leader? That cat…Maru, was it? Isn’t he going to run away again?”

“I locked the doors and windows thoroughly this time, so it’s okay. You…go first.”

Team Leader said, struggling to hold a box full of documents…hmm…

“Shall I hold that for you?”

As far as I remember, Team Leader is on the weaker side. Considerably, even taking into account that she’s a woman.

“No, I can do it myself…ugh.”

“…It doesn’t look like you can. ”

In comparison, before I became a woman, I had a basic physique and even exercised, so I was quite strong.

“You just need me to take these two, right?”

“Don’t overdo it…I guess it’s not too much for you. To carry that so lightly…”

And even now that I’ve become a woman and have a soft body with no visible traces of exercise, let alone defined muscles, I still retain the strength from those days.

In other words, I’m inherently strong. Inherently strong on the inside.

“Where should I take it?”

“Follow me.”

Following Team Leader, who was leading the way, we walked down the hallway together.

“Come to think of it, that new employee…Han Se-young, was it?”

“Yes, Han Se-young.”

“You two seem to have gotten quite close, even though it hasn’t been long since she joined the company.”

In the hallway where there was no one else, even ordinary voices echoed here and there.

It’s quite atmospheric. It’s funny to be looking for atmosphere with something like this.

“It’s not that we’re particularly close, it’s just that I’m her mentor. I have to take care of her.”

I don’t think I’m particularly close to anyone. At least not at this workplace.

A wide and shallow network. Except for a few leeches who were my classmates from elementary, middle, and high school, I have a wide network of acquaintances everywhere, but it’s not very deep. Elementary, middle, and high school, various academies, university, and even the military.

“Even so, Han Se-young seems to rely on Hanbyeol quite a bit, didn’t she go straight to Hanbyeol after being scolded by me?”

“Isn’t that because I’m that trustworthy as a mentor? Hehe.”

“…”

…By the way, Team Leader, your reaction is a bit strange.

Your expression is the same. The corners of your lips haven’t gone down, and your brow hasn’t furrowed.

Your voice is also flat. If there was an office robot, I wonder if it would have a voice like that, mechanical and indifferent as usual.

But what should I say…I feel like I can sense some displeasure?

I’m not good at reading the room. I don’t have the insight or tact to read people’s minds.

But sometimes there are times like this. When my erratic senses sound an alarm.

Was there something that could have made you feel bad? I carefully reviewed my conversation with Team Leader. Including what happened during lunch.

“Hanbyeol, do you not have any particularly close friends in the company? Especially.”

“I think I’m friendly with everyone…especially?”

I couldn’t have imagined that Team Leader would ask such a question, that I would hear that question.

Cha Hye-won, as far as I know, is someone who doesn’t care at all about other people’s friendships.

“It’s Team Leader, right?”

So in times like this, let’s soothe your feelings first.

“…Yes?”

“It’s Team Leader. You’re the only particularly close person I have.”

With a bit of sincerity.

“It’s not like I have any connections in this company, and the only people I’m a little closer to are the people on our team who I see and talk to every day. And the closest of them is Team Leader.”

I don’t know if I can relieve this person’s twisted insides with this method. Maybe it’s better not to.

“…We went beyond friends, didn’t we? We did.”

“…!”

Still, well, I think it’s worth saying something like this at least once.

“It’s just that the place is a little…not right to say it directly.”

I wonder if you still have feelings from that time.

No, did you even have feelings in the first place?

“…Back then…”

“I was sincere. I sincerely admired Team Leader, and I sincerely…liked you.”

Although I couldn’t catch your eye in the end, although you didn’t love me.

“But…I also think things are better now.”

I, who was suffering from a burning thirst, only looked at the oasis far away and walked. Not even knowing it was a mirage.

But now that I know it’s a mirage, I’m not that thirsty anymore. Is it because it rained?

“Being able to spend time with you without being desperate, just normally, like friends, laughing without any hesitation, that’s what’s better now.”

I’ve sorted out my feelings, cleanly.

I’m no longer thirsty for you.