self-knowledge

Bare, delicate feet lightly tread on smooth ancient jade tiles, producing soft, subtle sounds.
Selina clutched the hem of her silk dress tightly, her skin pressed against the thin, sleeveless bath gown.

Elven royal tradition mandated that royals cleanse their bodies to an immaculate state before the Sacred Bath.
Though elves were nearly untainted by nature, rules were rules.
To Selina, this was pure formalism, but elves were a race that revered tradition and ceremony.

With Tsui Bis’s help drying her hair, Selina was permitted only this thin silk bath gown before being led to Karina’s chamber.

Every royal elf undergoing the Sacred Bath required the reigning Empress’s guidance, leading the child to the secret sacred grounds.

With a hint of unease, Selina arrived barefoot at Karina’s chamber.
Inside, the Elven Empress sat calmly at a desk, her flawless emerald eyes lighting up the moment she saw Selina enter.

“Selina, my dear daughter, you’re here.”

Her voice was warm, brimming with maternal love.

Despite the affectionate words, Selina didn’t feel the usual discomfort or embarrassment.
Instead, perhaps due to years of receiving such warmth, she felt no aversion—only an instinctive closeness.

But she suppressed this childlike dependence on her mother, her expression stiffening.
Karina noticed her daughter’s unease but said nothing, maintaining a serene smile.

“Karina, let’s not mince words.
We both know this is just a transaction.
I don’t deny the genuine care you and Felicia have shown me these years, but you know we’re both bound by forces beyond us…”

Selina lowered her head, silver hair veiling her face, obscuring her expression.
Her slender fingers clenched into fists, knuckles whitening with force, only to loosen slowly, as if in resignation or release.

She raised her head, her emerald eyes filled with complex emotions.

“You’re the Elven Empress, bearing the fate of our race.
I’m just a pawn—a piece cloaked in an elf’s form and your daughter’s identity.My arrival was merely a transaction we both understand.
The mother-daughter bond we’ve shared became inexplicable the moment my memories returned.
Continuing this relationship will only make things harder for us both.
So, let it go.
I’m not fit to be your daughter, nor do I have the right to be an elf princess.”

Kant had always prided himself on his self-awareness.
Whether on Blue Star or now in the Seraris Continent, he could accurately gauge his value and importance in others’ eyes.

Most relationships in the world revolved around interests.
Without them, many close connections might never form.

Interests bound people together, but they could just as easily sever those ties—a delicate, fragile balance.
Having lived three lives, Kant understood this deeply.

Since regaining her memories, Selina had been pondering her relationship with Karina.
Though her mindset had become somewhat childlike due to her body, nearly fifty years of life experience weren’t for nothing.
She’d seriously contemplated this delicate bond.

Truthfully, from the heart, she felt Karina’s care for her nominal daughter was genuine and ample.
If she’d been born a pure infant girl into the elven royal family, she’d have been a happy princess.
But reality wasn’t so simple…

The care, love, and acceptance she received filled the void of family from her past two lives.
This warmth would become an unforgettable treasure for Selina.
Precisely because it was precious, she forced herself to face the cold reality.

Why did Karina treat her so well?
Why did Felicia dote on her?

Simple: her elf princess identity and their blood tie.
But this seemingly unbreakable bond was merely the work of a god.

An omnipotent deity could grant this and take it away just as easily.
If she indulged in this warmth and refused to wake, the end could be far more painful—a forced departure, watching those she genuinely cared for turn cold.

Emotions were precious but fragile.

Neither the former Kant nor the current Selina could bear to see such a bond shatter in her hands.

Her revival was due to her Descender identity, valuable in the Ancestor God’s eyes.
But in Kant’s assessment, this value didn’t justify the life she now enjoyed.

A pawn should remain a pawn, a weapon just a weapon.
Overstepping to enjoy what wasn’t hers could lead to a far greater debt.

Facing reality, her true identity was a pawn in the Ancestor God’s hands—perhaps a disposable deterrent.
Her princess status was a false veneer, hiding a thrice-reborn, tattered soul.

If this fragile bond could break at any moment, better to cut it herself than face a worse outcome.

By laying it bare now, Karina could be the Empress, and she the pawn.

They’d maintain the facade of mother and daughter, but privately, they could let the emotional bond fade.

This way, when it inevitably broke, the pain would be less…

Having recited her prepared speech, the air fell silent.
Selina kept her head down, unable to meet Karina’s gaze.
The expected relief didn’t come.
Instead, an unfamiliar emptiness and ache overwhelmed her, draining her strength.

It felt like she’d discarded something infinitely precious.
The moment it was cast away, her heart felt hollow, her chest tight, struggling to breathe.

Why?
Why did she feel this way?
It was just a fragile bond tied by interests.

Cutting it was the wisest choice.

Yet, speaking those rational words left her heart aching, as if someone gripped it, her eyes stinging with tears…

But it was too late.

Regret was useless.

The words were spoken, irretrievable.

Her life would return to normal, wouldn’t it?

People would still call her an elf princess, but everything would be different.

Karina wouldn’t speak to her with that gentle tone.

Felicia, upon learning the truth, wouldn’t rush to embrace her.

Everything would vanish, returning to normal.

The pain, the sorrow—she just had to endure it.

Her thumb dug into her palm, nails piercing skin, pain twisting her heart like a knife.

As she braced for the expected cold response, a familiar, warm embrace gently enveloped her.

In that moment, Selina’s eyes widened.

As her head rested between that soft warmth, her mind froze…

Wait, what?

This wasn’t how she’d imagined things would go.