Chapter 14: Shopping

In truth, the outside world has always been both an unknown and a peaceful place for me.

The playground where children play, the quiet trails of a park, and the city lights at night viewed from my window—these were the images of the outside world I had known.

Now, this bustling and chaotic “outside” is an unfamiliar landscape to me.

This is not the outside I am familiar with. It is overwhelmingly noisy, chaotic, and, most notably, full of people.

I feel dizzy.

I had barely stepped out of the car in the parking lot, but the sight of the growing number of people overwhelmed me instantly.

I didn’t think I had panic disorder…

Well, I suppose there hadn’t been an opportunity to find out.

“Are you okay?”

“…Yeah, I’m fine.”

Not wanting to worry my mother, I tried my best to act normal.

Actually, it wasn’t so much an act. There wasn’t anything truly wrong.

It’s just shopping, after all.

“Let’s go.”

Pulled gently by my mother’s hand, I began to slowly make my way into the department store.

If there was one fortunate thing, it was that the interior of the store was warm. The heating must have been excellent because I didn’t feel cold at all.

In fact, it was almost too warm, prompting me to remove my scarf and hat, which had been wrapped tightly around me.

“You’re taking those off?”

“It’s too hot.”

“Really? Hmm.”

“What’s with that look?”

My mother didn’t answer. Instead, she gave me a knowing smile and extended her hand.

“Give it here.”

“No, I can carry it myself.”

Something about her gesture made me nostalgic. Her behavior reminded me of how she used to act a long time ago, stirring up a strange feeling inside me.

As we ventured deeper into the department store, the sheer number of people inside made the parking lot seem calm in comparison.

And then…

It didn’t take long for me to understand the meaning behind my mother’s strange smile.

“Welcome to… Oh?”

“Hey, look over there.”

“What? Oh… uh…”

“Oh my.”

For some reason, everyone froze.

The employee at the entrance who had been greeting customers, the couples on dates, and even the young mother pushing a stroller—all of them seemed to stop as if time itself had paused.

Sensing something odd, I instinctively followed the direction of their gazes.

“Ah.”

It was only then that I realized how much my appearance stood out.

It seemed that staying indoors for so long had made me forget how striking I looked to others.

“Is she a foreigner?”

“But the person with her seems to be Korean.”

“She looks like a doll…”

It wasn’t just because I was pretty. Whether in a good way or a bad way, my appearance undeniably drew attention.

Silver hair and matching silver eyebrows.

Add to that my eyes, a blend of red and brown, and facial features that exuded a mixed-race look.

My unique hair color and eye combination, almost impossible to find anywhere in Korea—or the world—gave off an aura of mystery.

“Ugh.”

Reluctantly, I put my wool hat back on, tucking my hair inside it, and wrapped my scarf tightly around my face as I had done earlier.

As soon as my hair and face were covered, I could hear sighs of disappointment from around me.

“Ah…”

“I think we stared too much. Let’s go.”

“Y-yeah, let’s go.”

But the source of those sighs wasn’t limited to the onlookers.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying not to stand out.”

“So what if you stand out? You’re beautiful.”

Of course, it’s not that I dislike being pretty.

It’s just that I hate drawing excessive attention.

“It feels overwhelming.”

“Well, if you feel that way, I can’t help it… but as your mom, it’s a little disappointing. I wanted to show you off a bit since we’re out.”

“Do I look like a monkey in a zoo to you?”

“Are there monkeys this beautiful?”

“Just stop talking.”

In the past, my mother would have unconditionally agreed with my opinions and fulfilled my requests without question. Now, she was laughing and teasing me instead.

If you ask me whether I like or dislike this change… well, everything has its pros and cons.

“Hm.”

Even though I had covered myself as much as possible, I could still feel people’s eyes on me occasionally as I walked.

It was probably due to my uncovered eyes and that inexplicable aura I seemed to have.

The one small consolation was that the stares were far less frequent than when I had first entered the department store.

“Let’s go. Didn’t you say you needed to buy clothes?”

At this point, all I wanted was to finish the errands quickly and go back home.

“Wait a moment.”

“What now?”

“Someone’s coming.”

“…Who?”

Surely, I wasn’t about to be dragged into a gathering with one of my mother’s neighborhood friends on my very first outing, was I?

No way.

Just being outside was already suffocating enough.

Shopping with a group of middle-aged women?

I’d rather die.

‘…I just hope it’s not that.’

While I was desperately praying in my heart, my mother, staring at her smartphone, said,
“Wait a moment… Ah, there she is.”

A familiar figure was waving energetically from a distance.

She wore a long light gray straight coat reaching her thighs, an ivory turtleneck knit, and a black string wrap skirt. Even from afar, where her facial features weren’t clear, it was obvious she was stunning.

Moreover, her bright and bubbly demeanor made it clear to anyone that she was either a fresh college student or a young professional just stepping into the workforce.

“Phew.”

Confirming the identity of this unexpected visitor, I let out a relieved sigh.

The only young professional my mother would call to join us for a shopping outing like this was my younger sibling.

“Mom!”

Sure enough, it was Yuri Lee.

“Did you eat? What about food?”

“Yes, with my friends.”

Barely after my mother’s endless questions about meals had concluded, Yuri Lee’s gaze shifted slowly to the side.

“Ah, you’re here too… Oh?”

It had been quite some time since I transitioned, and Yuri Lee and I had grown accustomed to addressing each other differently.

Still, Yuri Lee deliberately held back her words, perhaps worried someone nearby might overhear.

“…Since we’re outside, just call me ‘unni.’”

“Okay, uh… Un…ni.”

Of course, it still felt awkward, and I doubted Yuri Lee would have many opportunities to address me during this shopping trip.

“Where should we go first?”

It was our mother who broke the awkward atmosphere.

“I need clothes! I don’t have anything to wear lately.”

“…Anywhere is fine.”

I didn’t have anything I wanted to buy. All I wanted was to play along with their whims and head home as soon as possible to rest.

“Then let’s start with clothes. I wanted to buy Eugene some clothes too.”

There was no point resisting. With no choice but to follow, I trailed behind the mother-daughter duo.

Once we entered the clothing store, my mother and Yuri Lee were thoroughly enjoying themselves, laughing and exploring everything.

“Both you and your sister are so beautiful. Oh… But have I seen your sister somewhere before?”

“Hoho, we get that a lot. And she’s not my sister. She’s my daughter.”

“Oh my, really? You look so young! Would you like to take a look at this as well?”

Flattery seamlessly followed by a sales pitch. Truly, the work of a professional.

“Yawn…”

As I grew bored, I simply observed them interacting with the staff and looking at clothes. I had no energy or desire to engage in shopping, but I decided it was best to endure and let them enjoy the moment.

“Oh my, really? You look so young! Would you like to take a look at this as well?”

Flattery seamlessly transitioned into a product recommendation.

Truly, the skill of a professional salesperson was on full display.

“Yawn…”

Despite my attempts to remain indifferent, I couldn’t help but notice my mother and Yuri Lee thoroughly enjoying themselves as they explored the clothing store.

“Both you and your sister are so beautiful. Oh… But have I seen your sister somewhere before?”

“Hoho, we hear that a lot. But she’s not my sister. She’s my daughter.”

“Oh my, really? You look so young! Would you like to take a look at this as well?”

The salesperson’s adept flattery blended smoothly into another product suggestion.

What mastery.

“Anyway, I don’t want a skirt. Get me something else. As long as it’s not weird, I’ll wear it.”

“No backing out later, alright?”

“Do you not know me? I’m great at changing my mind. Try giving me something weird to wear, and I’ll run away.”

“You think you can find your way home alone from here?”

My mother’s sharp remark left me speechless.

Of course, if I stayed silent, I’d obviously lose control of the situation, so I quickly attempted to recover.

“Wh-What era do you think this is? Of course, I can find my way home alone!”

I tried to sound confident, but I couldn’t fully hide the tremble in my voice.

I had never taken a subway, let alone a bus. Naturally, the idea of finding my way home alone was laughable.

“Really?”

“…That’s not fair.”

Was it really okay to so mercilessly exploit someone’s weaknesses like this?

What heartless devils they were.

“Just follow along quietly.”

“…Fine.”

Eventually, when I showed signs of resignation, a strange gleam of excitement appeared in both my mother’s and Yuri Lee’s eyes.