Who Do You Text When You’re Breaking?

“Haeyoon-ah, are you okay?”

As soon as the two disappeared, a friend sitting in the seat next to Haeyoon patted his shoulder and asked.
Haeyoon was still in a daze.
To those around him, he looked like he might collapse at any moment.

“Hey, seriously, how can people be that shameless?”
Seeing Haeyoon unable to snap out of it quickly, just blinking slowly and breathing heavily, another friend couldn’t hold back and raised his voice.
Then, as if waiting for the moment, a session of indignation began.

“Wow, I never even dreamed those two would come here together.”
“Right? How could they even think of coming here… especially together? Everyone here knows the situation.”
“Are you guys going to their wedding?”
The last question came from Woojin.
There were still friends here who didn’t know about their marriage.
Without exception, shocked responses were heard.

“Are you crazy? I’m definitely not going. I won’t even give a congratulatory gift.”
“Ahn Seonwoo really acted like he was the only one looking out for Haeyoon…”
It wasn’t a wrong statement.
The people here were friends who had known since high school how much Seonwoo pretended to look out for Haeyoon.

Haeyoon, being naturally quiet and reserved, needed a little more time than others to get close to someone, but those who did become close always adored him passionately.
As time passed, others naturally got to know Haeyoon and many became friends, but Seonwoo always made a fuss as if Haeyoon would be isolated without him.

Looking back now, there were comments exchanged about how Ahn Seonwoo had subtly spoken as if Haeyoon couldn’t manage without him, which wasn’t great.

“After all that, what’s with coming here drenched in Oh Jaeyeol’s pheromones? ‘Sorry’? Give me a break.”
“Seonhyeong-ah.”
At that, Woojin cautiously called the name of the friend who had spoken up excitedly.
The gazes of Seonhyeong and the others turned to Haeyoon.
Haeyoon, being a Beta, wouldn’t have known Seonwoo was drenched in pheromones, so they might have given away unnecessary information.

“So that’s what it was. I didn’t know.”
Haeyoon muttered quietly.
He hadn’t known Seonwoo had come coated in pheromones to the point that the manifestors found it revolting.
Even though they had been so close in the restroom.
Manifestors and non-manifestors.
Even an innate trait that shouldn’t be grounds for any discrimination or class in modern society—Ahn Seonwoo was using it as a means of mockery.
Even at the moment Haeyoon asked him why he was doing this.

Haeyoon gave a light smile and shook his head at Seonhyeong, who looked sorry for having let it slip.
Though he was a bit surprised by the unknown fact, it wasn’t a particular blow.
Rather, Haeyoon felt grateful to those here who were taking his side.

Haeyoon was among those who became friends with his classmates the latest.
He had the opposite tendency of Ahn Seonwoo, who became close with anyone almost immediately upon meeting.
Perhaps because of that.
He vaguely thought that if he and Ahn Seonwoo were placed on a scale, more friends might understand Seonwoo over himself.

“I’m really fine, so let’s stop talking about this now. It’s been a while since we all met…”
Haeyoon said, trying to change the mood.
It was a long-awaited gathering, and he didn’t want it to end with only gloomy talk because of him.
Just moments ago, he had felt an impulse to just go home.
But seeing his friends getting angry on his behalf made him wonder why he should.
As they said, even Ahn Seonwoo, who came ‘coated in pheromones,’ had left.

“Right, right! Let’s all make a toast together first!”
A friend with a cheerful personality who often took charge seized the opportunity and stood up.
Haeyoon lifted his glass along with them and shook off his stray thoughts.
For now, he wanted to focus on the precious things of the present.

* * * *

“Hyung, are you mad?”
Seonwoo, sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window, asked Jaeyeol, who had been silent since earlier.
He couldn’t understand why he was being like this, but his expression didn’t look good, so he was being cautious for now.

“Why would I be mad.”
Jaeyeol answered curtly.
To anyone, it was obvious he was in a bad mood.
Seonwoo’s voice also sharpened in response.

“If you’re not mad, then why are you acting like this? You haven’t said a word since earlier.”
To that, Jaeyeol didn’t answer immediately.
Just as Seonwoo’s irritation was about to flare up to add more, Jaeyeol spoke in a heavy voice.

“You… did you know?”
“Know what?”
“About Haeyoon being there. Did you know?”
“I told you. I didn’t know either.”
“Really?”
“Would I have deliberately taken you there if I knew? Haeyoon said it too. He wasn’t planning to come but decided to at the last minute.”

Seonwoo answered without blinking an eye.
Not all of it was a lie.
Even Ahn Seonwoo didn’t know for sure that Seo Haeyoon would come.
He only thought that if Haeyoon did come, he wanted to show him their presence.
But from Jaeyeol’s perspective, he couldn’t let go of his suspicion.
It was Seonwoo who had practically insisted they go together to the class reunion, which Jaeyeol was reluctant to attend as he had always gone with Haeyoon.

Recalling Haeyoon’s gaze—which had come to him quietly, lingered for a moment, and then drifted away—felt annoyingly itchy somewhere deep in his throat.
He had lost a lot of weight since the last time he saw him.
It seemed he had suffered quite a bit.
But for someone who had suffered that much, the look in his eyes when he saw him was excessively calm.
He knew Haeyoon wasn’t one for big emotional displays.
But he had vaguely imagined that after going through something like this, if they met again, Haeyoon would be much more shaken.
The sudden reunion with Haeyoon was nothing like his imagination.
Rather, the one more greatly shaken was Oh Jaeyeol himself.

“And so what if I knew?”
That moment, Seonwoo’s sharp voice broke through his thoughts.

“What?”
“Even if I knew and deliberately took you there, is that something to get mad about? Seo Haeyoon always brought you to those gatherings. Am I not allowed to do that?”
“That’s not it, Ahn Seonwoo.”
“Am I the sinner? So I can’t even go to my own class reunion as I wish, have to mind his feelings?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what is it!”

Seonwoo retorted irritably.
Thinking about it, it was really unpleasant.
They weren’t meeting secretly, they had nothing to hide, so what did it matter whether Seo Haeyoon was there or not?

“What I mean is… I just don’t want to get entangled with Seo Haeyoon.”
Jaeyeol was the first to back down.
He was already tired and his mind was a mess; he didn’t want to start an argument with Seonwoo.

“I don’t even want to see him anymore.”
“…Me too. There really won’t be any more entanglements anyway. Let’s just forget about today, hyung.”

Fortunately, Seonwoo didn’t show signs of dragging it on further with the vague excuse.
Even though he was hurt, Haeyoon’s eyes, which seemed to say that Jaeyeol was no longer of greater significance to him, kept coming to mind, but that was all.
That wouldn’t mean anything more to Jaeyeol.

“Alright. You had a tough time too. Let’s go home and rest.”
At Jaeyeol’s answer, Seonwoo nodded and turned his gaze back out the window.

The statement that there would be no more entanglements was sincere.
Ahn Seonwoo also had no intention of provoking Seo Haeyoon further from here.
Although it was a bit disappointing that he didn’t react as roughly as expected, he had done everything he wanted to do.

Ahn Seonwoo had won.
In the end, the one who became happy wasn’t Seo Haeyoon, but Ahn Seonwoo.
The one who found a lifelong partner and would grow old with him was him.
Seonwoo thought that was enough.

* * * *

“It’s cold.”

Sitting on a swing in a dark, empty playground near his house, Haeyoon sniffled once for no reason and muttered.
The early morning air had gotten quite cold.
It seemed his breath would soon become visible.

But Haeyoon knew he wasn’t feeling the physical cold right now.
His heart was cold.

When he was laughing boisterously with his friends, it felt like he had forgotten a little.
But after parting ways and walking the early morning streets alone near his home, feelings of loneliness, bitterness, and sorrow clung to him tenaciously.

When something too absurd happens to a person, blaming oneself seems like a natural process.
The reality of being betrayed by both lover and friend at once felt so unreal that he even started to wonder if he had really done something wrong, engaging in self-reflection.

He knows.
He knows intellectually that this has nothing to do with his mistakes.
That no matter what mistake he might have made, their actions in this way were not right.

He knows.

And yet, he can’t stop those thoughts from surfacing from time to time.
If he had been a little better, or if he hadn’t done something, could he have avoided the unhappiness he’s experiencing now?

“Hoo…”

A faint smell of alcohol dissipated as he let out a long breath.
By others’ standards, it might have been just that much, but for Seo Haeyoon, he had drunk excessively.
He didn’t like himself for suddenly drinking so often lately.

Haeyoon wanted to return to his daily life.
He wanted to escape from this experience that was ruining his life.
He wanted to stay outside the world until everything was naturally forgotten, not caring whether they mocked him or not, bearing the humiliating feelings alone.

But then again, it felt unfair.
He was the one who was wronged.
He was the one who got hit one-sidedly and shattered.
Why do they get to move forward intact while he alone has to run away?

Haeyoon rummaged in his pocket and pulled out his phone.
After hesitating for a long while, he sent a message to an unfamiliar number.

[Are you awake, by any chance?]