A Drunken Debacle and a Debt Collector’s Visit

Oh, my, my! So Little Tou actually mistook someone else for me! No wonder you weren’t sleeping beside your master last night!

Yue Ye Si leaned in closer, and while her words were light and playful, a hint of displeasure still lingered on her face.

Her precious disciple, whom she had nurtured for over a decade, had gotten so thoroughly drunk that he’d mistaken another for her. How could she possibly not feel a pang of irritation?

“You’re utterly in the way! Get out of my sight!”

Annoyed, Tou kicked her aside with a swift motion. He then glared fiercely at Ji Jie, who was still on the floor, and spat out resentfully:

“And another thing! Why on earth would I be wearing women’s clothes? You must have dressed me, trying to turn me into a woman, weren’t you? You treacherous dog, you useless cur, trying to scheme against your master! You’re just begging for a beating!!!”

“Aiya, aiya, aiya! Disciple, I understand now! You must have put them on yourself while you were drunk. Given your classic tsundere (TL Note: A Japanese term for a character who is initially cold or hostile towards someone but gradually shows a warmer, softer side over time.) personality, the more you outwardly resist doing something, the more you secretly yearn for it!”

Yue Ye Si, seemingly oblivious to the palpable danger, once again positioned herself in Tou’s path, her lips playfully pursed as she interjected, acting as if she understood Tou’s every secret desire:

“You know, deep down, you’ve always wanted to wear cute little skirts at home, but you suppressed that urge for the sake of appearances. Once you got drunk, however, you completely liberated yourself! Just look at this darling floral skirt, the pristine white stockings, and those golden twin tails, practically tailor-made for a tsundere. It’s utterly, explosively adorable! You’ve secretly yearned to doll yourself up like this for ages, haven’t you?”

She was utterly enamored with Tou’s appearance, her eyes sparkling with unadulterated delight as she gazed at him.

Tou, however, found no joy in this revelation. His expression abruptly morphed into a fierce scowl, and he delivered a sharp kick to Yue Ye Si before pouting his lips and unleashing a furious retort:

“You’re driving me absolutely mad! Get out of my face! Would you kindly just shut your mouth!”

“Awooo~” A pained yelp escaped Yue Ye Si as she hopped to the side on one leg, clutching her injured limb, yet she couldn’t resist turning back to whine:

“Wuwu~, Little Tou is bullying me again.”

“Why do you think you got hit in the first place!” Tou retorted, hugging his arms in exasperation. He was a boy, after all; he truly had no desire to wear women’s clothing.

His gaze then flickered to Ji Jie, who remained obediently kneeling on the ground. His teeth began to grind audibly, and he scratched his head, a fresh wave of vexation washing over him.

He had undeniably been drunk yesterday, and could only recall two distinct events. Yet, Ji Jie had just recounted a third. Which version of reality was he supposed to believe?

The incident after Ji Jie had plied him with medicine—he clearly hadn’t lost his ‘little brother’ after passing out; it had to be a nightmare. As for the other matter, Tou couldn’t help but shudder at the mere recollection. Ji Jie’s suggestive phrase, ‘Aiya, Master, that was truly something!’ reverberated in his mind once more, prompting him to clutch his head in agony.

A nightmare! It simply had to be another nightmare!

Could he have endured two nightmares in a single night? And those final words from Ji Jie, Tou suspected they weren’t entirely truthful either. He detested wearing women’s clothing to such an extreme; there was no way he would have willingly put them on himself!

At this thought, he narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Ji Jie intently. The moment his gaze truly landed, his face flushed a vivid crimson.

Ji Jie remained demurely kneeling on the ground, her clothes parted in front, revealing an abundance of ‘scenery’! In his earlier fit of rage, he hadn’t registered these particular details. But now…

With shoulders trembling, a spontaneous surge of fury ignited within Tou. He lunged forward, delivering a resounding slap that sent Ji Jie sprawling, and he roared in incandescent rage:

“You utter pervert! You exhibitionist! Would it kill you to put on some damn clothes!” Then, without even waiting for Ji Jie to compose a reply, he stormed out with heavy, resounding ‘bang~bang~bang~’ footsteps, ultimately slamming the door shut with a deafening ‘嘭’!

Hmph…

It was only after Tou had stormed out that Ji Jie finally clutched the fabric over her chest, exhaling a long sigh of relief. While her scheme had been absolutely flawless, Tou was certainly not the type of master who could be swayed by mere logic.

His blows were fierce, his curses stinging. She surmised that, apart from those harboring ill intentions towards him, no one would willingly attend to such a demanding master.

A maid! It truly was a difficult role to play!

“You two worthless things, get over here this instant!!!”

Ji Jie had barely exhaled her first sigh of relief, before she could even draw a second breath, Tou’s furious roar, like a volcanic eruption, thundered from the other side of the room.

Yue Ye Si, still rubbing the leg that Tou had so unceremoniously kicked, reacted like a loyal pet dog whose name had been called by its owner. She stretched her neck, perked up her ears, and then scurried out with a series of quick ‘ceng ceng ceng’ steps.

Ji Jie, too, wished to rush over, knowing that any delay would surely earn her a harsh scolding. However, with her clothes still in disarray, showing herself now would undoubtedly provoke another outburst.

It would be far better, then, to properly dress herself before making an appearance!

Tou strode into the living room and, without uttering a single word, immediately stripped off his remaining clothes, leaving him clad only in a small pair of white, lace-trimmed panties.

He intended to change, but at home, it was always his masters who took his clothes for washing, and all his garments were typically hung in the wardrobe within his room. He simply didn’t possess the habit of storing clothing within the spatial jade (TL Note: A magical artifact that can store items in a pocket dimension.) at his waist.

When he eventually fished out his clothes from the wine vat, the overpowering stench of alcohol clinging to them was enough for him to vow never to touch that particular outfit again in his entire life.

Completely lacking appropriate attire, he let out an indignant roar! He simply wanted his master and Ji Jie to attend to him.

The Fourth Master, ever obedient, darted over with a ‘ceng’ sound. Catching sight of Tou clad only in his underwear, she wiped her mouth and, with an expression of delighted surprise, exclaimed:

“Little Tou Tou, what troubles you? Could it be that you’re, perhaps, in the mood for some morning ‘fun’?”

“Come… come your big-headed ghost, indeed!” Tou lunged forward, delivering a sharp slap before puffing out his cheeks and extending a demanding hand.

“Give me some clothes to wear! You imbecile!”

“Clothes? But I don’t possess any garments that would fit you!” Yue Ye Si tilted her head in confusion.

“What? Is this truly how you accompany me down the mountain? You brought no spirit stones, no provisions, no clothes! Tell me, what exactly is your purpose, you scoundrel, following me down here? And you even… even forced me to descend… Damn it all! You utterly useless person, why aren’t you out buying me something right now!”

When Tou had initially descended the mountain, had this individual not suddenly materialized, he would have already returned home! She had spoken of bringing him out for pleasure, yet if he hadn’t acquired a maid yesterday, Tou might well have been gnawing on tree bark under some desolate bridge this very morning, famished.

“But Little Disciple, where on earth would we acquire such a bounty of spirit stones!”

Yue Ye Si spread her hands wide, declaring that her storage ring was even emptier than her face was clean.

“Then what about Ji Jie! Doesn’t she possess an abundance of spirit stones?” Tou, unable to spot his maid Ji Jie, was just about to erupt in anger when Ji Jie emerged from the room, calmly combing her hair as she ran.

Before Tou could even open his mouth to demand spirit stones, she tossed two bags onto the floor before him, speaking with a cautious, fearful tone:

“Master, have you forgotten? Yesterday, during your shopping spree, you spent every single spirit stone, leaving not even one behind, did you?”

“Wh-what!” Tou’s otherwise adorable eyebrows furrowed in a displeased frown, and he spoke with an accusatory tone: “How could they have been spent so swiftly? Do you mean your household has no reserve spirit stones whatsoever?”

“My apologies, Master, but there truly isn’t a single one left. I tried to advise you yesterday, Master, but you simply wouldn’t listen, insisting on buying things so recklessly. It was truly astonishing; not even ten oxen could have held you back.”

“You dare to complain! You utterly useless dog!” Tou was exceptionally perceptive, immediately sensing Ji Jie’s blatant disrespect for him as her master. He glared intensely at her, then continued:

“If there are no spirit stones, then devise a solution! Are you a pig? Must I, your master, remind you of every single thing!”

With a resigned sigh, Tou pressed a hand to his forehead, his large, adorable eyes, seemingly etched with exhaustion, swept over the Fourth Master, who was still idly watching the unfolding drama. His head began to throb once more. Pointing an accusatory finger at her nose, he launched into a furious tirade:

“And you, do you possess the brain of a pig? Go, quickly, and devise a solution for me!”

Grrr… rumble, rumble…

No sooner had he finished his tirade than his stomach, uncooperative and loud, began to rumble ferociously. Now, Tou was both furious and ravenous, feeling utterly miserable! He could only grudgingly sit down, retrieve a loaf of bread he had purchased yesterday, and begin to gnaw on it.

Crumble~, crumble~

The bread was as hard as a rock. Tou promptly spat out the mouthful he’d taken, then flung the offending loaf onto the ground with a frustrated curse:

“Pah! This is absolutely disgusting! What are you two still gawking for? Go and prepare me some food, immediately!!!”

“Master, are we to prioritize finding spirit stones now, or preparing your meal?” Ji Jie, feigning a search for spirit stones as she rummaged through cabinets, casually inquired upon hearing Tou’s renewed desire for food.

“Must you ask me about something so obvious? How utterly incompetent are you!” Tou exploded in a fit of pure fury.

“Aiya, aiya, aiya! Little Tou, then the maid and I shall head out to earn some spirit stones! Once we’ve amassed enough, we’ll bring back both clothes and food for you.”

Yue Ye Si declared, gently nudging Ji Jie towards the doorway.

Upon hearing this, Tou’s mood soured instantly. By the time they managed to earn enough spirit stones and return, he would surely have starved to death within the house!

“You two insufferable creatures! You’re absolutely infuriating me! Neither of you is permitted to leave!”

“Then, my obedient disciple, what would you like to eat? I just opened the door and glanced at the sky; it appears to be well past noon! You must be absolutely famished!”

Yue Ye Si zipped to Tou’s side, her large, sparkling eyes blinking playfully as she smiled and spoke.

“Useless… so much pointless chatter! Now get yourself to the kitchen and prepare me some food!”

Tou, utterly exasperated, snarled a curse at her. He then helped turn her body towards the kitchen’s direction before delivering a swift kick to her rounded backside, sending her tumbling into the kitchen.

“Yes, Master! I’ll be very good. I’m going to the kitchen right away!”

After chasing the Fourth Master into the kitchen, Tou turned to glance at Ji Jie. The mere sight sent a fright through Ji Jie, making her drop the comb in her hand with a ‘patta’ before she, too, scurried towards the kitchen.

Tou opened his mouth, scratched his hair, and said nothing further. These two idiotic dogs—couldn’t one of them cook while the other went to earn spirit stones?

Always feeling chilly without clothes, Tou looked at the clothes in the wine vat, then at the skirt on the sofa. After a moment of silence, he slipped on the skirt…

Approximately half an hour later, the meal was finally served. Tou, as was his habit, grumbled, “You’re so slow!” before slumping onto the table and beginning to eat.

“Little Tou Tou~, open wide~, I’ll feed you!”

“You damn fool! Don’t treat me like a child… Mmmph…”

Seeing the spoonful of chewed meat paste offered by the Fourth Master, Tou clenched his fists and slammed the table. He barely managed two words of protest before the spoon was unceremoniously shoved into his mouth with a ‘gulu’ sound, and he inadvertently swallowed the meat paste.

“Ugh!”

Tou’s veins visibly pulsed on his face. He was about to flip the table and beat someone!

However, at that very moment, the door was suddenly kicked open with a resounding ‘嘭’, startling Tou immensely. Then, a group of burly, powerfully built men, clad in green armor, stormed inside.

Leading them was a middle-aged man with an extremely lewd appearance, sporting a large beer belly. In one hand, he held a guandao, while the other stroked the prickly beard on his chin.

This lewd fat man walked at the forefront of everyone, and his cultivation realm, the Golden Body Realm, was the highest among them. There was no doubt he was their leader.

When his eyes landed on the three beautiful girls in the room, they lit up. His lecherous gaze shamelessly swept over them, especially lingering on Tou, whose eyes seemed to blaze with desire.

After a long moment, he finally puffed out his chest and spoke in a negotiating tone:

“Ji Jie, your rent has been overdue for half a month. If you don’t hand over the spirit stones today, don’t blame me for being impolite and throwing all of you out!”

Then, his small eyes narrowed into slits as he stared at the flat expanse of Tou’s chest, licked his lips, and extended a hand, saying:

“Little girl, you must be a newcomer Ji Jie tricked into joining her team! Let me tell you, teaming up with Ji Jie is a very dangerous endeavor. She’s been here for half a year and is notoriously a jinx! Anyone who teams up with her never comes to a good end. At best, they suffer minor injuries and can’t complete their tasks; at worst, they lose their lives! Why don’t you join our Azure Dragon Gang instead? Brother here~ Brother will take good care of a little beauty like you~”