A Plea in the Dark

I began to understand why he had insisted I stay the night. A suite this size could easily accommodate thirty adults without them ever bumping into each other. It was large enough to live here together and never cross paths, but I told myself to save those thoughts for when I was back home. Right now, managing the situation was the priority.

“Sir. I think it would be best if you lay down first.”

“I believe you’re right.”

Alexander, who had been holding his forehead, sighed and conceded.

“I’ll take it from here, so please, Mr. Yi-seo, go and rest.”

“Yes, well then… if you need anything, please call for me.”

After confirming that Alexander was slowly taking off his suit jacket, I stepped out of the bedroom.

Since I was already inside, I figured I might as well take a look around the suite. I had been exhausted before entering, but perhaps due to the novelty of the experience, the fatigue had nearly vanished.

The suite had so many bedrooms I would have to deliberate on which one to sleep in. There were multiple bathrooms, and frankly, the sofas were large enough that sleeping on one wouldn’t have been an issue at all.

For someone, this was everyday life. Not for me, of course. Not that there was anything new about that—the world is inherently unfair, isn’t it? There was no point in complaining about every single disparity. Doing so never made things better.

Yet, I was feeling particularly sentimental because today was May 5th. It was Children’s Day, and the anniversary of my parents’ deaths. After telling me all about how Korea celebrates Children’s Day and getting me all excited, they left this world, leaving only me behind. To make matters worse, this year I hadn’t even been able to properly observe the anniversary.

They say when things get bad, you can’t see what’s ahead. But for me, the future was all too clear. I knew exactly what kind of life I would lead and what lay before me.

To me, the future wasn’t something brilliant or sparkling. It wasn’t filled with hope or expectation. It was merely a road stretching out into the dim distance. The path was so long it made me want to collapse, but I knew that if I did, I would simply be dragged along by the current, unable to truly stop. It was exhausting.

The phone call I received during my break at the party seemed to be a reminder: You can’t escape this. You will live like this forever.

It wasn’t a delusion; it was reality. It felt impossible to escape this situation through my own strength alone. It felt as though this life would continue indefinitely—or perhaps get even worse. And I would always have to navigate it alone. I already knew this and was prepared for it, but today, the weight of it felt new.

“The expensive stuff really is nice,” I murmured to myself, looking up at the high ceilings as if to break the chain of my thoughts. I’d seen enough; it was time to turn in.

Suddenly, a heavy, crashing sound erupted from Alexander’s bedroom. I rushed inside to find him collapsed on the floor, gripping the edge of the bed.

“Are you alright?”

“I’d like to say yes, but I don’t think I can,” Alexander replied with a self-mocking sigh. “It seems… haaa… it’s a Rut.”

“…Pardon?”

I doubted my own ears. A Rut? Did he just say Rut? A man like Alexander shouldn’t face his cycle—the most significant trait of a second gender—in this manner. Even my boss, Ethan, had staff to manage his cycles and checked his pheromones every morning. Alexander should be no different.

“Where are your suppressants?”

“The secretary likely has… ugh… No, for emergencies, in that drawer over there…”

Alexander couldn’t even finish his sentence. I didn’t know which drawer he meant, and there was no time to search. I knew even ordinary Alphas struggled through Ruts. Alexander was a Dominant. I didn’t need a lecture to visualize exactly what was about to happen.

“I’ll call 911 for now— wait, ungh?!”

The words died in my throat. Alexander was kissing me.

In a development I had never imagined, I could only stand there with my eyes wide open, unable to move. Taking advantage of my defenseless state, Alexander tasted my lips hungrily. I flinched as the sheer force of his suction snapped me back to my senses.

“Mmph, hngh…!”

I tried to push him away, but he was not an opponent I could best with strength. I couldn’t believe he was losing his reason this quickly. It was several times faster than what I had been taught. Was it because he was a Dominant with such potent pheromones?

Meanwhile, Alexander’s tongue pushed ruthlessly into my mouth, rubbing against and pulling at mine. The sensation of our tongues tangling was so foreign and strange. I tried to push his tongue out, but even that movement seemed to become an invitation. The wet sounds of our tongues meeting and parting echoed obscenely.

“…Ngh, ha… mmm.”

Alexander’s hands began to stroke my sides and waist. Normally, I would never have reacted this way, but perhaps due to the situation, a ticklish heat coiled near my navel, making it impossible to stay still.

As I reflexively twisted my waist, our lips parted slightly. Displeased by the distance, Alexander cupped my face with his other hand. Because of the Rut, there was no trace of his usual composure. He didn’t seem like the Alexander I had known. Is this what all Alphas are like?

“Ah… uugh.”

As if telling me not to think of anything else, Alexander nipped lightly at my tongue, drawing a small moan from me. Before I could even process whether it felt good or not, my primary instinct was a sense of rejection at doing this with someone who wasn’t a partner.

Up until now, I had never even been in a relationship, let alone kissed someone. Naturally, I had zero experience with s*x. However, I’d had some curiosity. I’d often wondered just how good s*x could be for it to be featured so heavily in media, or what made it so incredible that people would pay money for it.

But this was nothing like I had expected.

The sensation was overwhelming because it was my first time, but I felt an instinctive revulsion toward the wet, fleshy texture of his tongue. I shook my head and struggled with all my might to push Alexander away.

Alexander pulled my body into a tight embrace, as if pleading with me not to reject him. I had been struggling to escape, but the embrace felt surprisingly good. Come to think of it, this was the first time anyone had held me like this.

His high body temperature, bordering on hot, provided a sense of security and began to mellow my mood. The tension drained from my body.

“…Please, don’t refuse me.”

A whisper, barely audible, vibrated against my ear. It was a voice I never expected to hear from the Alexander I had known. Seeing a man so confident and dignified suddenly clinging to me made my heart waver for a moment.

Since I figured there would be no romance in my future anyway, I thought that since things had already come to this, experiencing it once might not be so bad. Would it really be a big problem?

“Help me. …Please.”

At those words, I caught my breath.

I remembered a mandatory class for middle schoolers before they presented their second genders. The topic was the heat cycles of Alphas and Omegas. A male student had asked if cycles couldn’t just be overcome with willpower, and the teacher had burst into laughter.

‘You might think that because you haven’t presented yet. Unpresented people and Betas often think that because they haven’t experienced it. Well, let’s put it this way. You’ve all experienced a sudden, urgent need to use the bathroom, right? What if it’s diarrhea? Could you hold it?’

The class had groaned at the graphic comparison but laughed nonetheless. The teacher laughed too, but then suddenly turned serious, her voice dropping an octave.

‘So, listen closely. Don’t take Ruts or Heats lightly. Always carry your suppressants. Especially if you turn out to be a Dominant. It isn’t called a “cycle” for nothing. Your three primary drives—hunger, sleep, and excretion—are all suppressed, and only the sexual drive stands out. You don’t go crazy, and you don’t lose consciousness. You are fully aware of your actions while capable of rational thought. Do you realize how terrifying that is? You don’t want to become a criminal or a victim during a cycle, do you? If you don’t want to regret it later, remember what I said.’

Those words weren’t a lie. Seeing Alexander suffering like this right in front of me made it feel all the more real. I could see the veins bulging on his forehead and the cold sweat breaking out across his skin.