The Balcony and the Midnight Poet

Chu Nian snapped his eyes open.

His hair at his temples was soaked with sweat, and a small damp circle had formed on the pillow beneath his head. His chest heaved violently, his heart thumping wildly like a trapped bird.

He had lost count of how many times he had jolged awake from a nightmare like this.

After a moment to steady himself, Chu Nian slowly sat up. His throat was so dry it had begun to ache. He reached out, fumbling until he found the water glass on the nightstand. The lukewarm water inside had long since turned cold; as he pressed his lips to it, the icy liquid trickled down his throat, jolting him into a clearer state of mind.

He turned to look out the window. Outside was still the vast, pitch-black expanse of a long night—not a single light in sight, nothing to be seen.

Chu Nian suddenly thought that if he were still the child he used to be, he would already be clutching his pillow and crying while knocking on Liao Ling’s or Pei Yu’s door.

When did I stop being afraid of the dark?

Chu Nian couldn’t remember.

After Pei Yu lost his life and Liao Ling was sent to the psychiatric hospital, he had spent countless nights like this alone. Perhaps it was from that point on that he had fundamentally changed.

He never knew how to describe his former self.

He was like a patch of mud.

A patch of mud that had been trampled by people, scorched by the sun, and washed by heavy rain only to become even more turbid and foul.

It occurred to him that for all these years, he never seemed to have a place where he could truly stay, nor was there anyone willing to sow seeds in his patch of mud, hoping he might actually bloom into a vibrant flower.

That unforeseen fire had killed Pei Yu, incinerated Liao Ling’s hope, and destroyed Chu Nian’s life.

He raised a hand to rub his brow. He was wide awake now; going back to sleep would be a struggle. So, Chu Nian got out of bed, intending to head downstairs and pace the living room for a bit.

Chu Nian didn’t turn on the lights. His eyes had long since adjusted to the gloom; even if he couldn’t see clearly, he could distinguish directions.

Summer nights carried a certain chill. As Chu Nian stepped out of his room, the sudden draft sent a shiver down his spine, raising goosebumps. He regretted not bringing a jacket but lacked the will to go back and get one.

The surroundings were exceptionally quiet, devoid of any sound, making Chu Nian’s own breathing seem significantly louder. He widened his eyes, preparing to descend the stairs, but just as his hand touched the railing, a faint spark of fire caught his attention.

He stopped and looked up. At the far end of the hallway, on the balcony, stood a figure. The dense night blurred his silhouette, and the only light came from the flickering embers of a cigarette between his fingers.

It was Lu Jinnian.

Chu Nian frowned.

Not sleeping at this hour? What is he doing on the balcony?

He stood at the top of the stairs watching Lu Jinnian for a while. The man remained with his back turned. Chu Nian curled his lip; he didn’t want to disturb him. But after standing there for a bit, the desire to go downstairs vanished. Chu Nian turned, planning to return to his room.

He hadn’t taken two steps before a sudden, sharp “Chu Nian” startled him.

Chu Nian looked over. Lu Jinnian had already turned around and was watching him through the glass door.

“Come here.”

Lu Jinnian’s voice was muffled by the glass, but if one listened closely, it was still audible.

How did he notice me? Chu Nian couldn’t figure it out. He clearly never turned around… did Lu Jinnian have eyes in the back of his head?

Despite the thought, Chu Nian’s feet changed course, and he walked out onto the balcony.

“Slide!”

The glass door was opened from the inside.

Lu Jinnian leaned one hand against the doorframe, looking down at Chu Nian. With his face half-hidden in the darkness, Chu Nian inexplicably felt he could see a triumphant smirk on the man’s face.

“You actually came over,” he said in his usual irreverent tone. “So well-behaved.”

Chu Nian’s brow twitched. Hearing Lu Jinnian describe him as “well-behaved” instantly triggered a streak of rebellion.

He immediately made a move to turn back. “Then I’m leaving.”

In the next second, he felt the hem of his shirt being tugged—even given a couple of small, rhythmic shakes.

He sighed. “Is something wrong?”

Lu Jinnian didn’t speak. He pursed his lips and waited a good while before saying, “Keep me company.”

Then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he added: “I let you lean on my shoulder earlier today. Now it’s time to compensate me.”

The corner of Chu Nian’s eye flickered.

The wind on the balcony was stronger here. The howling cold easily tossed Chu Nian’s hair, sweeping away the irritability in his heart along with it. He walked to the very edge, resting both hands on the marble railing. The icy surface met his cool fingertips.

Lu Jinnian followed behind him. As he drew closer, Chu Nian smelled the faint, lingering scent of tobacco, though there was nothing on the balcony—even the remnants of a cigarette had vanished without a trace.

Chu Nian looked out. Although the second floor wasn’t high, he could still see quite a bit. Standing here, he realized that the houses in the villa district were actually quite crowded. In the dark-shrouded streets, only the lone streetlamp by the entrance emitted a soft glow.

There were no noisy cicadas, and he couldn’t hear Lu Jinnian’s voice. The silence was eerie. Chu Nian felt as if he had become a trapped beast in this silent world.

“I come here whenever I have insomnia,” Lu Jinnian spoke up. He stood at Chu Nian’s side, his voice carrying clearly. Chu Nian tilted his head slightly to look at the man’s profile.

Lu Jinnian’s characteristically punchable look had vanished. The dark night blurred his features, but he was still undeniably handsome. Lu Jinnian didn’t notice Chu Nian’s gaze; he continued talking to himself, then turned his head, his eyes—deeper than the night itself—locking onto Chu Nian’s.

“Can’t you sleep either?”

Their gazes collided in the air, merging with the darkness. Chu Nian didn’t know why he didn’t look away.

Lu Jinnian’s gaze was always burning.

It was like a gentle, warm swamp; once Chu Nian fell in, it would wrap around him, pulling him into a continuous descent.

And so, Chu Nian opened his lips and spoke a sentence he had never expected to say.

“Lu Jinnian.”

“Can you hold me for a moment?”

As the final syllable fell from the balcony, Chu Nian reacted instantly. In his panic, a flush of crimson rushed to his cheeks.

“No… wait, that’s not what I meant.”

He tried to explain.

“Vroom.”

Chu Nian froze. He felt like he had heard the roar of an engine.

The man in front of him had visibly turned to stone. He stood there, dazed, staring at Chu Nian with his mouth half-open. Chu Nian suspected that if he did anything else, the man would spontaneously combust into a cloud of powder and be scattered by the evening breeze.

[Wi… Wife…]

Chu Nian heard the voice in Lu Jinnian’s mind trembling.

[My wife asked me to hold him…]

[Hold… Hold…]

Seeing him so utterly lost, Chu Nian felt a mischievous urge to tease him. He blinked, taking a step forward. His long lashes were like the wings of a butterfly taking flight; even in the darkness, his eyes were sparkling.

“Is it not allowed?” Chu Nian asked softly, his voice like a kitten’s paw scratching at the tip of Lu Jinnian’s heart.

Seeing no reaction, Chu Nian added, “If it’s not allowed, I’m going back.”

As he spoke, he intentionally wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing them up and down. “It’s freezing out here.”

Chu Nian turned around. Just as he took his first step, his wrist was snatched.

Lu Jinnian gripped him tightly. Warmth transferred through the thin layer of his pajamas. Chu Nian startled and turned back. “You—”

Before he could finish, his arm was pulled forcefully by Lu Jinnian. Chu Nian stumbled back several steps and fell into a warm, solid embrace.

Chu Nian’s eyes went wide. His chin rested on Lu Jinnian’s shoulder as the man leaned down to wrap his arms around him. Chest pressed against chest, for a moment, Chu Nian couldn’t tell if the frantic heartbeat he felt was his own or Lu Jinnian’s.

Lu Jinnian’s hands rested tentatively against Chu Nian’s back. In that moment of embrace, Chu Nian thought he heard Lu Jinnian mutter something, but he couldn’t catch the words. With their distance now essentially reduced to zero, he could hear Lu Jinnian’s heavy breathing alongside the heartbeats.

He seemed to have broken free from something, holding Chu Nian in his arms, venting through that violent pulse, ragged breath, and burning body heat.

The wind whistling past his ears grew quiet.

Chu Nian stayed obediently in Lu Jinnian’s arms, slowly raising his own hands to lightly encircle the man’s waist. Then, using his palm, he gently patted Lu Jinnian’s back twice, as if comforting a child.

The person holding him shuddered for a split second.

Then, a scream like a boiling tea kettle exploded in Chu Nian’s ear.

[AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!]

[I’M HOLDING HIM!!!! I’M HOLDING HIM!!!!!]

[Lu Jinnian!!! What did you do to deserve this!!!]

[Tomorrow! No! Now! I want to marry my wife right now!!]

Chu Nian was stunned. The Lu Jinnian in front of him had his eyes closed, not saying a word, his face as calm and composed as if nothing were happening.

If Chu Nian didn’t have mind-reading abilities, he probably never would have guessed the stormy ocean currently raging in Lu Jinnian’s heart.

Thinking about it, Chu Nian couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

And Lu Jinnian was still clamoring away.

[Wife!! So cute, wahhh!!]

[I’m going to use my pec muscles… to! WARM! HIM! UP!]

Chu Nian: “…”

Are you allergic to romance?

He felt the hands on his back push him forward a few millimeters, pressing him even tighter against Lu Jinnian’s chest.

Chu Nian swallowed hard, reached out to brace his hands against Lu Jinnian’s chest, and gave a gentle push.

Lu Jinnian opened his eyes, looking at him with pure confusion.

The man’s gaze was so innocent that Chu Nian felt like he was the one with the dirty thoughts.

He awkwardly shifted his gaze away, his tongue darting across his lower lip, leaving a trace of moisture. His reddened lips parted slightly: “It’s late. I have work tomorrow, so I’m going back to sleep.”

Without waiting for a reply, Chu Nian fled back to his room.

Lu Jinnian stared at the retreating figure, then slowly crouched down, covering his face with both hands. The wide grin on his face was impossible to hide.

His heart was simply beating too hard.

Suddenly thinking of something, he pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of his own hand.

【Sometimes I feel like I am a midnight poet.】

He Xing: 【What’s wrong with you now?】

He Xing: 【Poet? Where’s the poem?】

He Xing: 【Why are you taking a picture of your hand?】

Lu Jinnian: 【A poet’s hand isn’t just for writing poetry.】

Lu Jinnian: 【It can also be used to embrace my wife.】