The Humiliation of a Bra Fitting

“This is your receipt.”

“Thank you.”

As the counter attendant handed me the receipt, his gaze lingered on my chest for a few moments, causing a flush to creep up my neck.

Despite my mental preparation, being subjected to such direct male scrutiny intensified my awareness of my current female identity.

How utterly mortifying.

I truly couldn’t accustom myself to being stared at as a member of the opposite s*x.

Pulling Ling Chen along, I fled in disarray. To mask my current embarrassment, I quickly searched for a new topic.

“Ling Chen, do you have an ID card?”

“Yes, the Angel Lord personally gave it to me.”

“That’s good. Let’s go get a SIM card then.”

Just as I was striding forward, Ling Chen remained rooted to the spot, pulling at my sleeve.

“Sister, wait a moment.”

Ling Chen’s tone was laced with concern. I turned back, asking with a puzzled frown,

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here for a second.”

Ling Chen led me to a secluded corner, then whispered softly,

“Sister, are you not wearing a bra?”

“……”

I felt my earlobes burning. Lowering my head, I felt on the verge of tears.

How incredibly awkward!

Oh no, have I been mistaken for a pervert?

Surely others haven’t noticed too, have they?

Though my soul was still male, my current body was undeniably a girl’s. This meant I had gone out freeballing, essentially.

What kind of humiliating act have I stumbled into?!

It was too mortifying, especially to be called out by my younger brother.

My voice was as thin as a mosquito’s buzz: “I… I did put on bandages, at least…”

“Sister, while some girls do dislike wearing bras, and no one is forcing you to wear one, I think if you don’t want your reputation to suffer, it’s best to dutifully buy and wear a bra.”

I fiddled with my fingers, head bowed, resisting somewhat. “Um, can I go back and buy one online? Besides, Mom left some bras in the wardrobe. I won’t buy one on the street.”

Don’t make me acknowledge such things. What’s the difference between a man buying a bra and buying some shameful item?

Accepting a bra was already my biggest concession. But to make me go to a store to buy one? I’d rather die!

“Sister,” Ling Chen stated with a serious expression, “do you find old ladies’ chests appealing?”

Huh?

What kind of joke are you playing?

“Can you explain why you dislike them?”

If beautiful girls and mature women are two distinct species, then old ladies completely transcend dimensions, alright?

I didn’t know what expression to make. This question was so outlandish, I didn’t want to think about it at all.

Ling Chen stood on his tiptoes, patted my shoulder, and spoke earnestly.

“Sister, breasts only have a future of sagging. You must strive to remain a beautiful girl, not become an old lady.”

I glanced at my own chest, which was already quite ample for a high school student, and couldn’t help but cup it. This feeling… I should be a C-cup, right?

“……”

I imagined my breasts sagging in the future.

Eek! That future is terrifying.

I’m sorry, I was wrong!

Ling Chen continued, “As for you not wanting to buy a bra in a store, it shows you don’t understand bras at all. Besides knowing cup sizes like A, B, and C, do you understand the difference between 32A, 32B, and 32C?”

“Do you know the benefits of a full cup, a three-quarter cup, or a half cup?”

“Do you know which bra fabrics are best suited for you?”

“Do you know how to determine your breast shape? How to choose one that makes you more comfortable and enhances your charm?”

Ling Chen’s relentless questioning left me speechless. I never imagined even a small bra held so much knowledge.

When I was a pure man, I never had to consider any of this; I just bought whatever fit. After becoming a woman, there were simply too many things to pay attention to in dressing and styling!

Wait, doesn’t this mean I’ll fall into the trap of consumerism, like those girls who spend money on fashion magazines?

Human desires are never satisfied. My mother’s wardrobe, filled with impulsively bought clothes worn only a few times, was the best example.

Consumerism, do not try to deceive me by fabricating culture!

Let those capitalists go mad! Let those meaningless souls weep! There is only one path for the proletariat: victory! The other path is death! Death does not belong to the proletariat!

At that moment, I felt countless ancestors standing behind me, telling me to resist consumerism to the very end.

“Let’s go, Sister.”

“Eh?”

“While you continue to justify your poverty, let’s go buy some underwear first!”

I felt like a puppet with its strings cut, dragged by Ling Chen to the entrance of a lingerie shop. He then pushed my flustered self inside, where I was met by the sales assistants’ eyes, like hungry wolves spotting their prey.

“Ling Chen…”

I looked at him pitifully, hoping he would change his mind.

“Sister, I’ll wait for you at the entrance!”

Ling Chen smiled and waved at my despairing self.

No, are you just going to watch your socially anxious sister be surrounded by a pack of aggressive sales assistants?

“Miss, what kind of product are you looking for?”

Save me!

Ling Chen watched me as I ventured into the dragon’s den with a seemingly sad gaze. But, but, he was smiling!

He was clearly smiling!

I saw it, you little brat, did you secretly laugh just now?!

Hey, am I not your most beloved sister? Why would you betray me!

Quick, save Lenin, Bukharin is a traitor!

No, I need a reliable comrade to save me; my brother is the traitor!

“Sister, you can do it!”

As if he didn’t want to witness my plight, he turned his back to me, trembling as if secretly weeping.

“……”

I’m certain now, you are definitely laughing!

Is it really that funny to see your older sister treated this way?

You sly devil!

And so, led by the enthusiastic sales assistant to have my upper and lower bust measured, I ushered in the darkest day of my life.

It was a day that absolutely, positively, should be completely erased from my memory.

“Wuwuwu…”

Ling Chen took the large and small bags of spoils from my hands, comforting my silent sobs. “Sister, didn’t you do quite well?”

I said blankly, “Do you know what I went through?”

“Was it that bad?”

“Actually, it wasn’t that bad,” I said, feeling my expression had utterly collapsed, as I couldn’t even force a smile. “It’s just that I went through such incredibly humiliating things, and then I was praised by the sales assistant! Even though they didn’t ask why I knew nothing about bras, I know they definitely thought I was a pervert!”

Ling Chen gently replied, “Sister, everyone will just think a beautiful girl like you is a super refined young lady, so pure that you know nothing about these things.”

“Do beautiful girls get special treatment? I told you not to misunderstand women, you rascal!”

“Sister, I was wrong. So, how does wearing a bra feel?”

I sighed, narrowing my eyes. “It’s great, actually. It’s comfortable, very breathable. I can’t help but marvel at why such a wonderful invention exists.”

“Then why are you angry with me, Sister?”

I squinted, my tone sharp. “What do you think? I didn’t know you were such a sly devil, and you just watched me suffer without helping!”

Ling Chen claimed innocence. “I’m only sly because I inherited your personality, Sister. Besides, I’m a boy, so I couldn’t possibly accompany you to buy those things, could I?”

“Though that’s true…” My mind was flooded with terrible memories again, and I had to cover my face in shame. “While changing bras, I actually started thinking, ‘Why am I so cute?’ I’m a man! Even though I’m currently female, why have I become female in both body and mind?!”

As I spoke, my emotions spiraled out of control. “And I even felt attracted to myself, do you know? I really wanted to get an erection! But without you, I felt like the poem, ‘How much sorrow does one have? Like eunuchs on their way to a brothel!’ Do you know how sad I am?!”

Ling Chen remained silent, simply sitting beside me until my breathing became steady.

“Sister, are you feeling better?”

I looked up. Behind the bench stood a tall, ancient pagoda tree, thousands of years old. Sunlight pierced through the gaps in its lush canopy, casting dappled shadows on my face.

How warm the sunlight felt.

On Sundays, the bustling commercial street was always packed with people. I even saw students in our school uniforms passing by, their faces wreathed in smiles.

How fortunate they were, not having to worry about major reversals in life, only needing to enjoy their youth to the fullest on this warm, sunny afternoon, freely expending their energy, and embracing all that was good.

Among all living beings, who does not love life? To love life to its extreme, one then loves the community.

I loved this world, just as I loved my goddess. I also loved all living beings in this world; with them, I didn’t feel lonely.

I was that kind of fool who felt happy seeing others happy.

I emerged from my despondent mood, nodding gently. “I feel a little better.”

Ling Chen joyfully took my hand. “That’s great, Sister. Then let’s go to the next store.”

“Where to?”

Ling Chen pointed at a shop ahead, where countless women were entering and exiting, stating matter-of-factly,

“To buy panties, of course!”

The corner of my mouth twitched. “Huh?”

My heart seemed to plummet instantly.

Gu, which kind soul will kill me and free me from this endless hell!