The Night He Refused to Let Me Go

Two hours later, after closing the shop and finishing cleanup, Haejin let out a deep sigh as he stepped out.

He had agreed because he was helped, but the thought of meeting him weighed heavily on his heart.

By nature, he found it hard to reject and push away even strangers who treated him like this, let alone someone he had once liked and been married to.

Whether lingering attachment remained or he sometimes still felt flutters, it made pushing him away even harder.

As he thought earlier, he must be here to talk about marriage.

There was no other reason.

Even though he had clearly refused with firm reasons last time, seeing him return undeterred meant handling him the same way would make it hard to dissuade him.

A different approach was needed.

…But how?

Since he came suddenly, Haejin hadn’t prepared other reasons.

He tried hard to think for two hours, but chased by work, he ultimately couldn’t come up with a good excuse.

“Will I be able to refuse properly…?”

Muttering to himself with anxiety, Haejin walked out of the building.

About a hundred meters away, under a streetlamp, the silhouette of a man smoking came into view.

Beomwoo was standing under the streetlamp, smoking a cigarette.

Knowing he was a smoker from his past life wasn’t surprising, yet Haejin stared blankly at the sight.

Haejin disliked the pungent smell of cigarettes, but whenever he saw Beomwoo smoking, white smoke billowing, even that dislike vanished because the image suited him so well.

It was literally like a scene from a drama.

As Haejin stood still, watching, Beomwoo seemed to sense his gaze and turned his head.

He stubbed out his cigarette in an ashtray trash can and approached Haejin.

“Are you finished?”

“Ah, yes…”

Wondering how intensely he must have stared to be noticed, Haejin hastily averted his gaze.

Embarrassed, he wanted to change the subject and ask his business, but speaking here, right in front of the restaurant, felt awkward.

Coworkers might still be around, and the owner might still be inside.

Coming out might draw strange looks.

There had been a commotion earlier, and Beomwoo had an extraordinary appearance.

Hesitating, Haejin spoke.

“Um… Should we go somewhere else to talk? It’s a bit awkward to talk here…”

“Sure.”

Fortunately, Beomwoo seemed to have no intention of talking here either and nodded quickly.

Relieved he wasn’t being rushed, Haejin led the way, thinking about where they could talk at this hour.

Haejin led Beomwoo and stopped before a playground.

During the day, it was a noisy playground with children, but it was very late now, and no one was around.

Grateful for the emptiness, Haejin stopped there, turned to him, and spoke.

“Thank you for earlier.”

“But… you coming to the restaurant where I work wasn’t a coincidence, was it?”

Although he was grateful for the help and agreed to talk afterward, Haejin also had something to say.

At first, he wondered if it was coincidental, but the more he thought, the clearer it seemed intentional.

Considering he appeared without appointment or prior notice at his part-time workplace, it was hard to see him purely as a benefactor despite the help.

This alone was grounds for anger, but since he had helped, Haejin asked pointedly.

Beomwoo answered nonchalantly.

“I have something to say to you.”

“Something to say…?”

“Isn’t there only one thing to discuss?”

When Haejin asked, Beomwoo replied as if questioning whether he really didn’t know.

He wasn’t unaware, but he asked hoping otherwise…

Haejin sighed, cooling the unconscious expectation he felt.

“That… I thought I clearly stated my refusal last time.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not the one.”

“My thoughts remain the same.”

“Marriage isn’t something forced.”

“It’ll just waste time, so please leave.”

“I’ve been thinking. Why you refuse this marriage.”

Haejin firmly refused further discussion, saying it wouldn’t change anything, but Beomwoo ignored him and brought up his own point.

He was originally high-handed and persistent once decided, but he didn’t seem this obstinate and pushy…

Though bewildered and baffled by his puzzling behavior, thinking back, in his past life, he never refused Beomwoo and was obedient, so such a situation likely never arose.

The current situation was similar.

In his past life, he accepted the marriage proposal without refusal, so this didn’t happen.

Had he refused then like now, it might have been like this.

Perhaps he had viewed him differently originally…

As he thought that, Beomwoo continued seriously, as if having pondered since that day.

“I know you just graduated and are young, so marriage might be burdensome. Even I would dislike being told to marry a stranger at that age.”

“……”

“But it seems there’s more to your refusal than just that reason.”

“Are you truly refusing for that reason alone?”

Beomwoo acknowledged part of Haejin’s reason for refusing but expressed lingering doubt.

Was refusing solely because he didn’t want to marry a stranger truly the reason?

If Haejin had grown up in an ordinary family, refusing for that reason might not have been strange.

But Haejin wasn’t ordinary.

He was being abused by his aunt and uncle and desperately wanted to escape.

Marriage wasn’t the only escape, but in that situation, it was a tempting proposal.

Moreover, Beomwoo’s conditions as a marriage partner were exceptional.

A top chaebol family in Korea, sculpturally handsome, and an extreme Alpha at that.

Any ordinary Omega might feel some attraction even at first meeting, so such a decisive refusal might seem odd.

Beomwoo, likely never having such an experience, seemed to find it even stranger.

Seeing him assume being chosen was natural made him think, ‘He really is confident…’ but given who he was, it was understandable.

And as he said, Haejin did have a ‘real’ reason for refusing this marriage.

But he couldn’t say, ‘I married you in my past life and realized I shouldn’t do it again.’

Haejin reiterated his pre-prepared reason, reaffirming his refusal.

“I thought you heard from your brothers, but perhaps not.”

“Let me say it again.”

“Whatever the reason, I want a normal marriage.”

“Not something like an arranged marriage.”

“So you’re refusing because you want to marry someone you love?”

“…Yes.”

The question felt like, ‘Did you really refuse for just that reason?’ making it awkward to answer.

Marriage is with someone you love, so it wasn’t a strange thing to say…

As Haejin answered, feeling awkward, Beomwoo nodded belatedly after hearing his response.

“Then, I’ll give you that love, so marry me.”

“……”

…What is this nonsense?

‘Since I’ll give you the love you want, marry me’?

Feelings don’t obey one’s will, so how can he say ‘I’ll love you, so marry me’ so casually?

If feelings were controllable, he would have stopped liking him long ago.

Just as his efforts to let go failed, even if Beomwoo genuinely tried to like him, love wouldn’t necessarily follow.

Thinking back, in his past life, he also said he’d ‘try’ to love if Haejin wanted it, but he never showed him any affection.

Not even the slightest interest, so how could he believe those words now?

In his past life, he was naive and fell for it, but not now.

Having learned painfully in his past life that feelings can’t be forced by effort, he couldn’t fall for it again.

Haejin let out a hollow laugh and retorted.

“Look… You know this is only our second meeting, right? Last time and now, we haven’t even had pleasant conversations.”

“I don’t know what about me you’d love…”

“I’m interested in you.”

“It’s the first time I’ve felt this way upon first meeting.”

Haejin essentially said, ‘If you’re going to lie, put some effort into it,’ but Beomwoo responded without blinking, not appearing reprimanded.

He implied he felt attraction, if not love at first sight.

…What kind of nonsense is that?

He could understand feeling attraction at first meeting.

There’s such a thing as love at first sight; Haejin himself felt an unparalleled aura when he first saw him in his past life, essentially falling at first sight.

But Beomwoo didn’t.

If he were the type to fall at first sight, shouldn’t he have done so in his past life?

Moreover, Haejin was certain he had nothing special—no outstanding looks or qualities—to attract his interest.

Haejin was convinced he was saying things he didn’t mean, but feelings can’t be proven.

If he insisted, that was that.

Arguing about his feelings would be endless, so Haejin used his own feelings as an excuse to push him away.

“Even granting, for argument’s sake, that you truly fell in love at first sight and came to like me, liking alone isn’t enough to date or marry.”

“Both parties need to like each other…”

In his past life, he married with unrequited love, but generally, marriage isn’t something done just because one person likes the other.

Marriage is a promise to spend a lifetime together out of mutual love.

Of course, he still hadn’t let go of his feelings for him…

But just as Beomwoo couldn’t prove his liking, unless Haejin voiced it, his own lack of liking wouldn’t be known either.

Perhaps using the same logic to reject him, Haejin spoke.

Beomwoo twitched one eyebrow as if displeased, then suggested a method.

“Then, I’ll make you love me.”

“What…? What do you…?”

“If you come to like me, wouldn’t that solve the problem?”

He asked as if it weren’t a difficult matter.

Ultimately, if love was the issue and the reason for refusal, since he already liked Haejin, wouldn’t the problem be solved if he just made Haejin like him back?

‘No… How can you say that when you don’t even like me in the first place?’

He thought he had spoken logically, leaving no room for rebuttal, but he didn’t expect such illogical reasoning.

And though his tone was stiff, he was essentially declaring he’d seduce him.

Hearing such words for the first time, Haejin was speechless with bewilderment.

Thinking he mustn’t get entangled, he quickly shook his head.

“Ah, no. Please don’t do that.”

“I’m saying I don’t want to see you anymore…”

“The reason I sought you out today was to understand your reason for refusal.”

“……”

“But it won’t do.”

“If that’s the reason, I can’t give up.”

Haejin now stated bluntly that he didn’t want to see him, but Beomwoo didn’t mind.

If there were another special reason for refusal, he might have stepped back.

But since it was just that reason, he became even more determined.

As Haejin looked at him helplessly, pleading him not to, Beomwoo seemed to read his gaze and spoke firmly again.

“I’ll proceed my way.”

“Sitting idle isn’t my style.”

“No…”

“I’ll contact you.”

At his declaration of taking some action, Haejin finally opened his mouth in panic, but Beomwoo turned away firmly, having conveyed his intent.

In this one-sided conversation, Haejin wanted to stop him but couldn’t muster the courage.

Even if he stopped him and told him not to, it was obvious he wouldn’t listen.

Left alone after Beomwoo departed, Haejin stood there like a stone statue, disoriented as if left behind after a storm.

“Haah… I’m going crazy.”

Belatedly, Haejin crouched down, knees bent, and let out a long sigh.

Even after drawing a line, he kept recklessly crossing it; he didn’t know what to do.

If he just remained unshaken and ignored his advances, wouldn’t that be enough?

Yet, seeing him still made his heart race and tense up.

Despite hating him enough to wish for death, he still hadn’t let go of his feelings.

If his heart was like this now, if Beomwoo kept pursuing him, letting go would become even harder…

He knew Beomwoo’s so-called ‘interest’ had an ulterior motive and wasn’t love.

But having thirsted for his attention in his past life, he couldn’t confidently say he wouldn’t waver.

Could he push him away properly going forward?

Even now, every time I turn him down, my conscience pricks me and I feel guilty.

But thinking I’ll have to be even more resolute than I am now, I already feel overwhelmed.