Crimson Aironi: The Spear King’s Taunting Curse

I am Crimson Aironi, the Spear King.

Yes, this chapter is all about me! You might wonder why a mere extra deserves an entire chapter dedicated to their story.

I can confidently tell you.

I have no idea either!

“Don’t you realize you’re just a bunch of gatekeepers for the Forest Lord? Just like me, exiled by the King to stand guard in this godforsaken place! You’re all trash, unwanted garbage! Idiots who help count the money even after being sold!”

Yes, I was mocking those snakes who couldn’t understand human speech.

You might think I’m foolish, but I assure you, my abilities are genuine.

When I was very young, my parents discovered a peculiar talent within me—the art of taunting!

Whenever I launched into a lengthy tirade, I could perfectly draw every creature within earshot, including animals, to attack me.

By the age of five, I had mastered the art of provoking others, making me exceptionally punchable among my peers.

“Hey, you little *******, you *******, I’ll ******* you!” Yes, that was the level of verbal artistry I’d achieved by five. My excessive taunting led to ten classmates chasing me for several blocks!

At six, I cursed at a stray wolfdog on the street. The troublesome beast clamped onto my thigh and wouldn’t let go until I’d dragged it, crawling, for half a day to find its owner.

When I was seven, I taunted an elderly man across the street. That day, the eighty-year-old shot up like an eighteen-year-old youth, striking my head with his cane until I sported a dozen large bumps. He passed away the very next day from heart failure.

By ten, I surveyed my bruised and battered body, realizing I needed to rein it in. Spouting obscenities at everyone I met was simply asking for a beating! I still hoped to live past eighteen, after all!

Thus, I began to learn the art of speaking more subtly.

I remember when I was fifteen, still in school. Our next-door neighbor was a remarkably studious woman whom I’d long admired. I wanted to seek her guidance, but she was so shy, rarely ever leaving her room. So, during the New Year, I decided to visit her. As fate would have it, I bumped into her son right at her doorstep—a true behemoth of a man!

“Hey, big guy, that’s right! I’m talking to you. Would you advise me to deeply expand my relationship with your mother?” See? Quite subtle, wouldn’t you say? I’d been practicing for a while, not a single vulgar word. Yet, that giant nearly beat me into a cripple!

Then there was the most legendary incident: the time my cousin and I led troops into battle. The Commander claimed he saw potential in our abilities, assigning us to lead two small detachments to attack an enemy city ahead of the main force…

I genuinely believed we were being entrusted with an important task… but I was wrong. The moment I bellowed “Advance!” on the battlefield, the entire enemy army would turn their gazes, as one, directly to me… then relentlessly pursue and assault my cousin’s and my forces! They chased us to the death, drawing almost all of the enemy’s firepower!

It wasn’t until an arrow pierced my cousin’s knee that I awoke from my delusion. Damn it all! We were just bait! Yet, even with that realization, it was useless; an arrow tore straight through my backside the very moment I was contemplating the meaning of life!

Fortunately, the Commander’s tactics were brilliant. The instant we drew away all their troops, he immediately launched his attack, seizing the city! It fell with barely any effort.

Later, when the city’s general was captured, he recounted: “Why?! What in the blazes happened?! We knew it was a diversion! But the moment that leader shouted, our eyes were glued to those two detachments. It felt like we couldn’t rest until we’d annihilated them!”

Good heavens… Is my taunting power really that potent? You silly readers? I don’t think so!

But the facts were undeniable: I effortlessly uttered words that infuriated others, and the consequence was always me being chased and beaten…

Since I couldn’t correct it even with conscious effort, I simply decided to embrace the habit!

And that’s when I truly messed up!

One day, the King was out, and I was on guard duty at the capital’s city gate.

“Hard work, guarding the city!” The King greeted us guards.

“Not at all.”

“Tell me the truth; don’t just humor me because I’m the King.”

“Honestly…” Well, he couldn’t blame me then. “The truth is, I don’t think guarding this city gate is even necessary.”

“Hm? And why is that?” The King watched me from his carriage.

“No reason in particular. You see, there’s a moat, a drawbridge, and watchtowers on the city walls. No sane person would openly waltz in to claim the head of a foolish ruler like yourself.”

The King’s expression instantly froze…

And then… I was banished to this wretched place, becoming one of the rotating guards tasked with watching over the forest…

Hey? Who did I offend? I was just telling the truth, wasn’t I? Why treat me like this?!

Though my fate was miserable, I refused to intentionally change myself anymore. This was a curse, after all—a curse from the God Sein, bestowing upon me this taunting ability, destined to ensure I’d never succeed at anything…

But I was wrong! This curse from the God Sein had a purpose!

Now, wasn’t I proving useful? To save that silly Hero and that idiot Swordsman, I used my taunting ability to draw away all the venomous snakes, just as my cousin and I once diverted an entire army! It was exhilarating!

“Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Trash!” I screamed, sprinting madly.

Hissing, hissing, hissing, the angry snakes’ sounds morphed into a chorus of Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die!

After running for what felt like an eternity, my stamina gave out…

Gasping for breath, I collapsed to the ground.

“You silly snakes! Come on! This lord has never feared any of you…”

Sometimes, I wondered, what was my worth?

No one liked me, no one admired me. Even the titles “Spear King” and “Shattered Anus” were bestowed upon me out of mockery… I couldn’t accomplish anything, couldn’t do anything right. No one accepted me; everyone isolated me. Even my cousin, when he left to embark on his adventures, gave me a look of utter disgust…

Perhaps… my very existence was a joke. Yet, if I could avert a crisis for the Hero just this once, then I suppose I’d found a sliver of worth in living…

Come on, snakes… poison me. I’ve made my peace with it, to end my life on a dark night, on a desolate grassland…

Katz—a snake, quick to slither, had already sunk its fangs into my thigh.

Ah, it hurts…

Katz.

A useless wretch was about to vanish from the world…

Katz.

Honestly, driven by instinct, I still thrashed about, desperate to shake off the venomous snakes, fearing death.

Katz.

To die for others, for someone I didn’t even know—was it truly worth it?

Katz.

I… I didn’t want to die, but it was too late for regret now.

I closed my eyes, giving up the struggle.

Now, I simply wished for a beautiful angel sister to come and take me away. Of course, if that angel could save my life, all the better.

“[Oh, great God Sein, the Hero calls upon you! Lend me your power! I need light to dispel the darkness, I need light to save the world!]”

A spell?

I opened my eyes.

A girl with long, golden hair—it was the Hero… I hadn’t truly looked at her before. Was she always this stunning? Those captivating long eyelashes, those bright, azure pupils, those sensuous red lips… I dared say any man who beheld such beauty would be utterly captivated…

Why hadn’t the Hero abandoned me? She actually came to save me.

“It’s alright,” she said softly, then smiled, her eyes crinkling.

She smiled. She smiled at that very moment! She smiled at me! All I could think was, ‘How beautiful.’

To say she was an angel sent by Lord Sein to rescue me wouldn’t be an exaggeration in the slightest!

For some inexplicable reason, my heart stirred for this girl. Yes, I, a single man for twenty-seven years, felt a flutter! My heart stirred for the esteemed Hero! She was nothing short of the goddess of my dreams!

However, my excited joy was short-lived…

A faint glow emanated from her forehead—the Holy Light they had spoken of earlier, perhaps… Before I could tear my gaze away, that faint light abruptly intensified, erupting forth like a geyser!

Damn it, I shouldn’t have been staring at her face the whole time…

“Aaaahhhhhh! My eyes! My damn eyes are burning out! What the hell?! Wrong direction! Couldn’t you have just turned around to face those snakes?!”