Doubts and Distance

“Impossible.”

Even as dense as I was, I could tell that Zhou Chen hadn’t refused me out of shyness.

“Uh—”

Xiao Lu seemed choked up by my words, momentarily speechless.

“Then what else could it be? Chenzi likes Xiao Yanzi so much. Why else would he refuse such a request except out of shyness?”

Xiao Lu paused, her gaze complicated as she looked at me.

Likes me?

If Zhou Chen hadn’t been so deliberately distant today, I might have truly believed he liked me.

But now I was hesitating.

I glanced at Xiao Xi by Zhou Chen’s side. She was adorable, and everyone liked her. I could sense that Zhou Chen talked a lot in front of her, and even seemed happy.

Although Zhou Chen said he saw Xiao Xi only as a little sister, thinking back, hadn’t his distancing started this morning? If it wasn’t related to Xiao Xi, I wouldn’t believe it at all.

I bit my lip. “Maybe Zhou Chen doesn’t like me anymore.”

He met Xiao Xi, fell for her, and started pulling away from me. It had to be that.

My eyes stung, a veil of tears blurring my vision. My chest no longer felt tight, but rather a series of sharp pains.

I wiped the corner of my eye with my hand. The wetness on my knuckles startled me—I had never been like this. What was wrong with me?

“Xiao Yanzi!”

As I spaced out, a pair of hands cupped my cheeks, and Xiao Lu’s serious face appeared before me.

“Chenzi definitely likes Xiao Yanzi. I’ve been watching you two all along.”

Watching all along?

So that was why Xiao Lu was so sure Zhou Chen liked me.

But even so, it still didn’t explain why Zhou Chen refused to hold my hand.

“Then why did Zhou Chen refuse? Didn’t you say he definitely likes me? And I’m sure it wasn’t because he was shy.”

I threw the original question back at Xiao Lu.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her; I didn’t trust myself. I felt like I was forgetting something, but I couldn’t remember. Maybe that was why I doubted myself.

“……”

Xiao Lu removed her hands from my face without speaking.

“Xiao Lu, Ling Yan, what’s wrong with you two? We’ve been way ahead.”

Just as Xiao Lu opened her mouth to say something, a distant club member’s voice interrupted our conversation. I realized we had been standing still for a long time; everyone was waiting ahead.

“Sorry, I got caught up talking with Xiao Yanzi. We’re coming now.”

Xiao Lu waved to the group ahead, then took my hand and ran forward.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Xiao Lu pressed her palms together and raised them to her forehead, apologizing to everyone with a sheepish face.

I also bowed slightly.

“Geez, what were you two talking about that made you stop? I’m curious.”

Everyone stared at us with eager eyes.

At times like this, I would usually just say it wasn’t convenient to tell them, leading to awkwardness. So I stayed quiet and looked at Xiao Lu.

“Curiosity won’t get you anywhere—it’s a secret between Xiao Yanzi and me.”

Xiao Lu hugged me and winked at everyone, acting very intimate.

“A secret? Don’t tell me you two are going yuri. Poor Zhou Chen.”

“Are you asking for a beating?”

“Haha, sorry, sorry.”

……

Our conversation was quickly brushed off by Xiao Lu’s joking manner, and everyone’s mood lifted.

But I still had no answer to my question, and Zhou Chen kept avoiding me, so my spirits sank.

Luckily, I was usually quiet, so no one noticed my unusual state.

I wanted to talk to Xiao Lu again, but she was caught up in the middle of the group, leaving no chance.

After that, I walked alone, without Xiao Lu or Zhou Chen beside me. It felt a bit strange.

How long had it been since Zhou Chen was always by my side?

My mind was full of thoughts about Zhou Chen. I felt so weird, but I didn’t hate this feeling.

As time passed, we arrived near the station.

The station area was bustling, with many shops around. The dessert shop we were going to was the one everyone had voted for.

It seemed everyone liked sweets. Probably a common trait among girls. Every time I walked with them, they would discuss which new products or stores had appeared nearby.

I didn’t pay much attention to such things, but when I ate, my mood would inexplicably lift, so I liked it too.

Jingle bell…

The shop door opened, and the bell by the door rang.

“Welcome! Oh, everyone’s here! Long time no see. Who’s this cute girl? Is she a new member of your club?”

Greeting us at the door was Xiao Yuan, a shop assistant. She was cute, wearing an adorable pink uniform that fit the shop’s sweet, girly style. Her eyes were fixed on Xiao Xi.

“Mm, hello, sister. I’m Xiao Xi.”

“So cute! Hello, Xiao Xi.”

Xiao Xi greeted Xiao Yuan sweetly. Xiao Yuan’s eyes lit up as she hugged Xiao Xi and gently patted her head.

“Ah, sorry, I got carried away. Please, follow me.”

Xiao Yuan loved cute things, so she probably had no resistance to Xiao Xi.

Afterwards, we found a spot with connected seats. But Zhou Chen, who usually sat beside me, sat far away today.

I looked at Zhou Chen, but he didn’t meet my eyes; instead, he turned his head away, deliberately avoiding my gaze.

My barely settled mood turned sour again. After all this time, why was he still deliberately avoiding me?

My eyes couldn’t help but sting again, tears welling up. Was I someone who cried easily?

I was never like this. I shouldn’t cause trouble for others. But why couldn’t I help it?

I lowered my head, not wanting anyone to see me like this.

“Xiao Yanzi, come sit over here.”

Xiao Lu’s voice sounded in my ear. I looked up; she pointed to a spot beside Zhou Chen. The seat that was previously taken was now empty, right next to Zhou Chen. Everyone stopped chatting, looking worriedly at me and Zhou Chen, seeming to have noticed something unusual.

I wanted to refuse—that was someone else’s seat—but when I saw Zhou Chen still too afraid to look at me, I suddenly felt inexplicable anger.

I nodded and sat down directly next to Zhou Chen.