Sub-Title: The Daily Brawls of Qiweiya and Kiana!
“Mew~” Qiweiya batted away a small hand that was tickling her chin. Kiana, sniffing her hand, a mysterious blush spreading across her face, murmured, “Lady Qiweiya’s scent~” She then recalled Qiweiya’s utterly adorable cry from moments ago. “Ah~ even when sleeping, she’s unexpectedly cute! Truly, all men should just perish; girls are undeniably the best!”
Qiweiya merely rolled over, resuming her soft, purring snores.
Kiana stealthily slipped her hand under Qiweiya’s armpit, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Hehehe~ tickle, tickle, tickle…”
“Ahahaha~ Oh, stop it~ Ahaha~ Can’t I just get up already!” Kiana, of course, paid no heed, continuing her relentless tickling.
Thoroughly annoyed, Qiweiya declared, “Kiana, just get out!” With a swift flick of her right hand, Kiana was *smashed* away by an icy-blue divine power.
****
Thirty Minutes Later: Changing Time
Qiweiya emerged, yawning and teary-eyed. “Mmm~ mmm mmm.”
Mei paused for a moment, then chuckled, “Our Qiweiya is as adorable as ever today~ Hehehe.”
Qiweiya wiped the corner of her eye. “How many times have I told you? ‘Cute’ isn’t the word for me. It should be ‘dashingly handsome’!”
Bronya stated plainly, “Bronya finds Qiweiya’s persistent use of masculine compliments to describe herself incomprehensible.”
Qiweiya huffed indignantly. “If you could understand, you wouldn’t be Bronya! Even if my body is that of a loli, my heart remains the steel-hard resolve of a true man!”
Kiana slapped her own face. “Here we go again. Lady Qiweiya’s daily self-hypnosis… Why can’t a loli just accept reality?”
Qiweiya’s spirit was struck by a super-gravity cannon, rendering her unable to recover.
“Bronya believes Qiweiya constantly imagines us as her harem, and performs this self-hypnosis to ‘conquer’ us, thinking she can transform into a male for what she calls ‘procreation’ but is actually a criminal act of venting sexual desires.”
Qiweiya lunged forward, grabbing Bronya by the shoulders with a distorted expression, shaking her vigorously. “Apologize to all men in the world! Apologize! Don’t you know that the union of yin and yang is the righteous path of heaven and earth? Everything else is heresy!”
Bronya tilted her head. “Even if Qiweiya says so, you are still not a male.”
“Biu~”
Qiweiya felt her fragile spirit being mercilessly mocked by the legendary horse-god king from her previous life, Zeus. Zeus’s words echoed: “Look at me~ then look at you~ your girls just won’t let you ‘hey hey hey’…”
Qiweiya slumped dejectedly at the dining table, muttering, “I’m just a big idiot who got scammed and is now doing grunt work for them anyway…”
Mei asked worriedly, “Is Qiweiya really okay like this?” Kiana patted her chest, a loud thumping sound accompanying the gesture. “It’s fine! Sister Mei, Qiweiya just ‘dies’ like this over and over, then comes back to life~ Aren’t all idiots like that?”
Infuriated, Qiweiya took off her shoe and hurled it. *Splat~ crash!* It struck Kiana directly on the forehead, sending her flying against the wall with immense force, knocking over a pile of miscellaneous items.
Qiweiya gritted her teeth, her voice low and menacing. “Kiana, is your skin itching for a beating today? Three days without a lesson, and you’ll try to tear down the roof! Then come and face your demise, wah-yah-yah-yah-yah~”
Qiweiya shrieked, charging at the still-down Kiana. The two goddesses became entangled, one moment one on top, the next the other. (Why does this feel so suggestive?)
Mei sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Here we go again…” Bronya clutched her little bunny plush, watching the ‘world war’ intently.
****
The Panting Divide
Qiweiya lay sprawled on Kiana, her hands pinching Kiana’s face, threatening, “Will you still call me an idiot? If you don’t stop, I’ll turn you into my plaything! I’m serious!”
Kiana gasped, breathless. “You perverted loli! You’ll be a yuri your whole life~ If you don’t get off, I’ll spank your little butt!”
Qiweiya sneered. “Very well! You’ve got guts. I’ll let you experience the ultimate torture of the Avici Hell right now.” With that, she lowered one hand, poised to place it on Kiana’s chest.
*Slap!* Qiweiya froze, mechanically turning her head to see Kiana’s hand smacking her own bottom. After a moment of silence, Qiweiya’s expression turned ferocious. “You little b*tch! Go repent! Ahhh!”
Qiweiya immediately clasped Kiana’s chest with both hands, eliciting groans and cries of pain from Kiana. But Kiana, not to be outdone, quickly slammed her hands repeatedly onto Qiweiya’s butt. (Why do you two love hurting each other so much? →_→)
Mei couldn’t watch any longer. She walked over, grabbed Qiweiya by the collar, and lifted her. Looking down at Kiana, she asked, “Aren’t you going to get up and eat? Do I need to invite you?”
Kiana, casting a fearful glance at the nearly enraged Mei, meekly uttered, “Oh,” and slowly, cautiously, returned to her chair, picking at her food.
Mei then looked at Qiweiya, still held in her hand. Qiweiya shivered, raising both hands. “I’ll eat! I’ll eat right away!” With a whoosh, she settled into her chair, behaving like a good child, a complete turnaround from moments ago.
****
The Divide of Eating and Being Eaten
After dinner, Qiweiya secretly made a gesture to Kiana. “If you dare, come with me to a deserted place for a one-on-one fight! I’ll make you feel what those devils felt when they were torn apart back then!”
Kiana’s eyes lit up, and she returned the gesture. “Little loli~ keep dreaming! Be careful not to flip over and peck at rice~” *Hiss!* Their faces were almost touching, sparks flying from their eyes in the air.
*Clang!* x2
*Ouch!* x2
Mei sternly questioned the two, who were now kneeling on a washboard with large bumps on their heads. “Do you know where you went wrong?” She then cracked the whip in her hand, causing both of them to shiver again.
Just as Qiweiya was about to answer, a sense of crisis struck. She quickly activated a divine power shield, enveloping everyone.
*Boom!* And then… the house, bought less than a day ago, exploded into a pile of sawdust.
Mei, her face grim, stormed out. Qiweiya gloated, laughing, “Oh my, oh my~ Young people these days sure know how to have fun, throwing big bombs left and right. I wonder how Mei will ‘educate’ them?”
Kiana waved her right hand, sweeping the dust high into the sky, a comical expression on her face. “These guys are practically new role models for courting death~ Daring to cause trouble when Mei is furious, tsk, tsk, tsk.”