The Love Letter Inquisition and the Perils of the Girls’ Dorm

Zhou Yi stared at the flamboyant characters on the envelope, which boldly declared, “To Student Zhou Yi.” A shiver of goosebumps raced from her arms all the way up to the nape of her neck.

‘Had this blasted system been binging ten campus romance novels overnight?’

‘Who the hell wants a love letter?!’

“What are you spacing out for?” Xiao Ju asked, already nudging her towards the bed.

Caught off guard, Zhou Yi tumbled onto the soft mattress, her nose nearly brushing against a hanging pink lace nightgown.

‘Was the daily life in a girls’ dorm always this intense?!’

“Don’t play dumb!” Her two other roommates crowded around, their eyes gleaming with mischievous intent.

“You have to spill everything today!”

Huddled in the shadow of the lace nightgown, Zhou Yi felt small and helpless.

“What about the cream puffs we talked about?! This isn’t what we agreed on!”

The curly-haired roommate held the love letter, clicking her tongue twice.

“Well, well, Student Zhou Yi, secretly snagging a god-tier senior like Senior Yang, huh? We’re still lining up for autographs, and you’re already getting love letters?”

“Exactly!” the blonde-haired roommate immediately chimed in.

“Confess everything! How far have you two gone? Held hands? Hugged? …You haven’t secretly kissed already, have you?! Tell us! Is your first kiss still intact?”

“Quick, let’s see what it says!” Xiao Ju excitedly leaned closer.

“Did he ask you out? What stage are you at?”

Three against one, a true battlefield – the game had started on hellish difficulty.

Zhou Yi felt utterly flummoxed, as if struck by lightning, by the astonishingly bold questions.

“Wait! You, you guys must be mistaken. I’m actually not familiar with that senior…”

“Oh, playing innocent now, are we? Then was his love letter written to thin air?”

“He’s been pursuing you more diligently than a delivery courier – bringing you breakfast, saving you seats, even getting you a spot in an elective course you couldn’t get into… With treatment like that, you’re saying you’re not close? Do you think we’re blind?”

Xiao Ju suddenly had an epiphany.

“I get it! You’re playing hard to get! A true master!”

Zhou Yi was forced to retreat under this relentless barrage of questions, fearing that if this continued, they would be planning her future children’s university admissions next!

“Uh… I, I think I left something… downstairs… something really urgent!” Shoving the love letter back into the drawer, she turned and bolted, escaping with a fluid grace.

Her three roommates were left behind, exchanging bewildered glances.

“Running so fast… she must be shy!”

“Something’s definitely going on!”

“We’ll have to interrogate her thoroughly when she gets back!”

****

Zhou Yi held her breath, sprinting until she reached the stairwell corner before finally stopping, her back pressed against the cool wall, her heart pounding wildly in her chest.

She could still almost hear Xiao Ju’s teasing shouts from the dorm room, “Xiao Yi is shy!”

‘This was utterly terrifying…’

‘The sheer intensity of this girls’ dorm was a “Shura value” no human could withstand; staying any longer, and they might just unearth her past and present lives!’

“Phew…” She patted her chest, trying to catch her breath.

‘Today’s main quest was to dismantle the “green tea b*tch” tropes from their very roots, not to gawk at some flamboyant love letter. Yet, her roommates’ flurry of questions had nearly derailed her entire rhythm.’

‘Thankfully, her willpower was strong enough to barely escape from that ‘Silk Web Cave’!’

‘Now, she absolutely had to immediately wrench the main quest back on track!’

Quickly composing herself, she began to creep stealthily along the wall.

‘After all, this was the girls’ dorm; normally, let alone entering, she’d have to pretend to be just passing by to even get close!’

Despite her current identity as a bona fide girl, the dazzling long legs beneath short skirts and shorts, and the faintly visible lace peeking from behind doors in the bustling corridor, still utterly bewildered her.

‘See no evil, see no evil… Amitabha… Wait, was that a sheer one?’

‘Th-this was free to look at?!’

‘These were live, beautiful girls! Weren’t they far more alluring than the 2D “lewd images” she usually scrolled through?’

The air was thick with the sweet scents of various shampoos, shower gels, and skincare products, mingling with the vibrant, unique aroma of young womanhood.

Her willpower began to waver.

‘Hold on… if I’ve come all this way and don’t even take a peek, can I still call myself a man?’

Just as she was caught in this internal struggle, her gaze inadvertently drifted towards a dorm room at the eleven o’clock position.

Two girls, seemingly fresh from a shower and wrapped only in towels, were playfully tickling each other.

In their frolic, glimpses of smooth, delicate shoulders, backs, and long legs flashed, a dizzying sight.

“Ugh!” Zhou Yi suddenly felt a warmth in her nasal cavity, and, startled, quickly tilted her head back, clamping a hand over her nose.

‘Damn it! The visual impact was simply too intense! Was this really what girls’ dorms were like in private?!’

‘Oh no, she was going blind, her Dao heart was about to crumble.’

‘Form is emptiness, emptiness is form… all beauty is but a skeleton, all flesh is but illusion, only reason is eternal…’

She mechanically chanted the scripture, head tilted back, gingerly shuffling along the wall.

Yet, before she had taken more than a few steps, she heard a loud “Thump!” as her shoulder collided squarely with the protruding corner of a fire cabinet in the hallway!

“Ow—!” The pain was so sharp that tears nearly sprang to her eyes.

She clutched her instantly numb shoulder, squatting on the ground and gasping for air.

‘Just moments ago, she was chanting “see no evil,” and now she was instantly getting her retribution. The Heavenly Dao truly settled accounts in seconds.’

“Are you alright, classmate?” A passing girl, startled by the commotion, looked at her with concern.

Zhou Yi felt her face burn crimson, so embarrassed she wished she could dig a hole and bury herself in it.

Covering her face, she mumbled, “I’m, I’m fine… Thank you.”

The girl seemed about to say more, but seeing Zhou Yi in such an utterly mortified state, she tactfully quickened her pace and left.

Only after confirming no one else was around did Zhou Yi leap to her feet, bolting out of the corridor as if fleeing for her life.