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The next day, Hee-woon cautiously entered the lecture hall.
Perhaps because he was a bit early, Kang-woo hadn’t arrived yet.
Hee-woon wished Kang-woo wouldn’t come to school today if possible.
10 minutes before the lecture started.
Scanning the half-filled lecture hall, Hee-woon took a book from his bag.
Today’s class would proceed with the professor only answering questions.
Hee-woon opened the folded page.
He reread the parts highlighted with a marker and organized his questions.
Maybe because he had slept intermittently, he had been able to study until dawn yesterday.
Then Kang-woo naturally sat down beside him.
“Hello, sunbae.”
Startled, Hee-woon glanced at Kang-woo and mumbled, “Uh-huh.”
“You’re not going to return the greeting?”
“Ah… hello.”
Hee-woon looked awkwardly into empty space, not looking at Kang-woo or his book.
Kang-woo tilted his head and peered at Hee-woon’s face.
“I thought your guts had spilled out.”
“…….”
Hee-woon moved his lips, then lowered his eyes.
The fact that many eyes were watching was somewhat helpful.
“Breakfast.”
“Did you eat?”
“Yeah.”
Hee-woon fixed his gaze on the corner of the folded book.
He wished the professor would come quickly.
“Sunbae seems a bit dumb.”
A soft voice, like a mutter, came from beside him.
Hee-woon flinched, clenched his fist under the desk, and tensed up.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to look away?”
Only then did Hee-woon quickly turn his head.
Meeting his eyes, Kang-woo spoke gently.
“Looking at each other is basic when having a conversation, right?”
“Yeah.”
As Hee-woon nodded a couple of times, the corners of Kang-woo’s lips curled up slightly.
“What did you have for breakfast?”
Kang-woo asked, resting his chin on his hand.
“I ate ramen.”
Kang-woo, who had been staring intently at Hee-woon, pressed firmly with his finger just below Hee-woon’s collarbone.
Hee-woon’s eyes widened, and he bowed his head.
“Did you want to show off what you ate?”
“N-no….”
There was a splash of ramen broth where the straight finger had passed.
Flustered, Hee-woon fumbled at the stain left on his white t-shirt.
Kang-woo chuckled.
“You like ramen more than proper meals?”
“Just… it’s convenient.”
Seo Kang-woo, who had been frowning, straightened his posture as the professor entered.
****
“Can’t have lunch together today.”
“You can take care of yourself and eat properly, right?”
Coming out after the lecture together, Kang-woo spoke.
It sounded as if Hee-woon were a child and he was looking after him.
“Uh.”
Since it was the last semester of his fourth year, Seo Kang-woo sometimes only had morning classes.
Seeing him go somewhere after having lunch together, he didn’t seem idle.
Thinking that might be to kill or threaten someone made his spine tingle and his whole body stiffen.
“About the tutoring.”
“Huh?”
“Did you tell them you’re quitting?”
It was just as they were leaving the department building.
Hee-woon looked up at the cloudy sky and swallowed dry spit.
As his answer was delayed, Kang-woo turned his head.
“No, not yet.”
That was his initial response.
“Not yet?”
At the repeated question, his heart sank with a thud.
Hee-woon spoke as if making excuses.
The kids have midterms soon, some are at a crucial stage, suddenly quitting would be noticeable….
Seo Kang-woo said nothing.
The sound of their tap-tap footsteps quickened his heartbeat.
Hee-woon felt pathetic himself.
If he was this scared over just this much, how could he think of not listening to Seo Kang-woo?
Kang-woo stopped abruptly.
“Sunbae.”
“Huh?”
Hee-woon looked up at Kang-woo, utterly tense.
Kang-woo, with an expressionless face, rubbed the area above his eyebrow with his thumb.
“There’s something I’m a bit troubled about right now….”
“There are two options.”
“…….”
Kang-woo’s hand slowly descended onto Hee-woon’s shoulder.
He lightly gripped the shoulder, then stroked downward from the neck as if patting.
“Whether I should make sunbae listen to my words very well.”
His thumb pressed firmly on Hee-woon’s neck.
His Adam’s apple twitched.
Kang-woo’s gaze brushed over Hee-woon’s neck and settled back on his face.
“Or whether I should be a bit lenient and spoil you.”
“…….”
Hee-woon’s complexion paled.
What do you think?
Kang-woo whispered, tilting his head.
“If I’m lenient, I think you won’t come to your senses and will keep pushing your luck.”
Kang-woo let out a small laugh, recalling how Hee-woon had hurriedly run off yesterday.
He slowly stroked the thin shoulder.
“What should I do?”
“Hmm?”
Hee-woon, who had been frozen like a stone, moved his lips.
A voice as small as the wind crept out.
“Be a bit lenient….”
“What?”
Kang-woo tilted his head.
Hee-woon bit his lip hard and raised his voice.
“Be a bit lenient and spoil me.”
Kang-woo, who had been staring intently at Hee-woon’s face reddened with shame, suddenly burst out laughing.
He roughly messed up Hee-woon’s hair.
“Right.”
“That would be easier.”
Kang-woo’s eyes, looking down at the small face, curved softly.
He bent slightly to meet Hee-woon’s eyes.
“Just do it until the end of this month.”
“You have over two weeks left, so it’s fine, right?”
Hee-woon gave a slight nod.
Inwardly, he thought: So he means he’ll toy with me for two more weeks or longer.
Thinking this life would continue for quite some time, his throat felt constricted.
“The… card….”
“You keep it, sunbae.”
“Use it if you need it.”
“…….”
Hee-woon moved his lips.
If he was scared of getting entangled by money, he should have pushed the card back to Seo Kang-woo.
But Hee-woon nodded.
If he gave it back after receiving it, Seo Kang-woo wouldn’t just let it be.
I just won’t use it.
Hee-woon thought as if speaking to someone.
“What are you having for lunch?”
Kang-woo asked casually, straightening up.
Starting to walk following him as he moved again, Hee-woon vaguely answered, “Cafeteria food.”
“Cafeteria food….”
“Right.”
“Better than bread scraps.”
Muttering, he said, “See you tomorrow,” and headed towards the parking lot.
Hee-woon awkwardly raised his hand to wave at Kang-woo, then turned and headed towards the central library.
He had packed some rice balls to eat in the evening.
He decided to eat that for lunch.
He thought he could have snacks during his evening tutoring.
But there were no snacks at the 8:30 PM tutoring session that day.
It seemed the student, who had been looking at Hee-woon with displeasure for eating a lot of snacks, had told his mother.
Hee-woon glanced at the already empty grape juice cup and looked at the clock.
9:45 PM.
There was still some time left.
There would probably be snacks at the 11 PM class.
His stomach growled again.
“Ahem.”
“All done?”
Clearing his throat and subtly covering his stomach, he readjusted his grip on the pen.
“Yes.”
“That’s right.”
“This is a complement position, so an adjective should….”
“Ah.”
“I know.”
The student cut off Hee-woon’s words.
The eyes under the round glasses glanced at Hee-woon’s arm covering his stomach.
The kid looked straight at Hee-woon and said.
“Teacher.”
“I told you to eat dinner before coming.”
“The growling sound is distracting.”
Seeing the malicious pleasure surfacing on the sullen face, Hee-woon was speechless.
His face flushed bright red.
The square card deep in his wallet came to mind.
****
The exams were over.
But that didn’t mean Hee-woon could rest deeply.
Since middle and high school midterms were the following week, he had to create 100 practice questions per school.
He could still only sleep 3-4 hours a day.
One morning, Hee-woon asked his mother.
“Should we get our passports made?”
“Huh?”
“No.”
“Just in case, it would be good to have them ready.”
“We might travel….”
Hee-woon drank water and averted his gaze from his mother.
“What if those people say something about making passports?”
His mother was very fearful.
He probably inherited that exact personality from her.
He hadn’t returned the card Seo Kang-woo gave him, nor had he used it.
When he was too tired and exhausted, he sometimes became aware of the card’s existence.
Since I’m suffering like this, wouldn’t it be okay to use Seo Kang-woo’s money?
It’s like a reward for the hardship.
While trying to convince himself, numerous questions filled his mind.
What if he asks for it back later?
The loan sharks sometimes want to kill Hee-woon but can’t, but Seo Kang-woo could certainly do it.
Even if not, what if he loses interest in him overnight and demands the card back?
Without a job immediately, how would he repay the debt and cover living expenses?
The fact that he gave the card for no apparent reason was also scary.
For silencing purposes, Seo Kang-woo already had enough control over him.
‘Just because.’
‘It’s a bit annoying.’
It was a ridiculously insufficient reason.
There was also another fear.
Imagine quitting all his tutoring as Seo Kang-woo said and living using the card.
He could sleep much more than now.
He wouldn’t have to yield to students younger than him.
He would have time to prepare for employment in his spare time.
Then….
What if, when this life ends, he isn’t completely happy?
Giving Hee-woon the card drove him into another fear.
Hee-woon stared at his mother’s face.
His mother, whose appearance had changed a lot over the years, had eyes full of worry.
What she wanted was clear.
Safety.
Hee-woon spoke affectionately.
“They won’t say anything just for making passports.”
“And how would they know, Mom?”
“…Is that so?”
“Then should we get them made?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s repay our debts quickly and go on a trip.”
His mother, who had been staring intently at Hee-woon, nodded.
The passports arrived in less than a week.
Holding the small green booklet-like thing made him feel a bit more at ease.
So he put it in his bag and occasionally took it out to fidget with.
After the kids’ midterms ended, he had a bit more breathing room.
But the tension and anxiety only grew.
Because the period Seo Kang-woo had mentioned was approaching.