The Unspoken Ache

(Ling Yan’s Perspective)

But as soon as I sat down, I regretted it.

Zhou Chen sat bolt upright, hands on his thighs like a soldier at attention. His gaze was fixed on a blank pink wall ahead, and the hands on his thighs were clenched so tightly they turned white.

I could sense his discomfort.

Was it really my presence that made him uneasy? Should I just leave?

My mind was a mess, nothing like my usual self.

“Senior, why are you sitting so stiff? It’s hilarious. Do you always eat out like this?”

Just as I was at a loss, Xiao Xi’s sweet, syrupy voice broke the heavy silence. She rested her elbows on the table, chin cupped in her hands, and smiled brightly at Zhou Chen. But maybe I was mistaken—it seemed she also glanced at me.

“Uh, am I?”

Zhou Chen snapped out of it, shifting his gaze from the wall to Xiao Xi.

“Of course you are. Usually, Chenzi snatches the menu first, eyes shining.”

Xiao Lu chimed in with a laugh.

“Wow, Senior really likes desserts that much?”

Xiao Xi looked at Zhou Chen in surprise, then covered her mouth with a giggle.

“So what? Who says only girls can like sweets?”

Zhou Chen rolled his eyes at Xiao Xi, his body relaxing as he leaned back against the chair.

I watched their exchange. I knew Xiao Xi and Xiao Lu were trying to lighten the atmosphere between Zhou Chen and me, but it only made me sad.

If it were me, would Zhou Chen talk to me like that? I longed to see him chat so casually with me, to joke around.

My chest no longer felt tight—it began to ache dully.

But I had to endure. I’d already caused everyone enough trouble; I couldn’t burden them further.

“Alright, alright, let’s just order quickly.”

Xiao Lu glanced at me and picked up the menu from the table.

After we decided on the desserts we wanted, we called Xiao Yuan over.

“Xiao Lu, have you decided?”

“Yes, all set.”

Xiao Lu handed the menu to Xiao Yuan, who took it and was about to leave.

“Um, sorry, I forgot to mention—Ling Yan’s portion shouldn’t have too much sugar.”

Zhou Chen apologized to Xiao Yuan.

“Oh, I see. I was wondering why Ling Yan wanted normal sweetness today. Guess I worried for nothing. Zhou Chen is quite considerate of his girlfriend.”

Xiao Yuan looked at us with envy, and my mood instantly brightened.

I hadn’t even noticed myself, but Zhou Chen had. He really did care about me.

I turned to Zhou Chen, but he wasn’t looking at me—he even turned his head away. Still, the ache in my chest was gone.

“Huh, Senior Ling Yan is a low-sugar type?”

After Xiao Yuan left, Xiao Xi looked at me curiously.

“Is that strange?”

I found it odd too. I’d tried other girls’ desserts, and they all thought them delicious, but I found them too sweet. I never said anything, though, because speaking up might cause trouble.

Only after Zhou Chen came along did the desserts I ate start to taste good.

“No, not at all. Xiao Xi just thinks it suits your temperament.”

Xiao Xi waved her hands in slight panic, her tone apologetic.

Did she think I was offended? I wasn’t. And that thing about temperament—others had said it before. But I simply preferred milder flavors.

“Thank you.”

I said softly.

Everyone was like this. Just because I liked bland food, why did they always associate it with some nonexistent temperament?

Only Zhou Chen had told me everyone’s tastes are different, and there’s nothing strange about it. So I cherished his words more.

After speaking, Xiao Xi continued chatting with Xiao Lu and Zhou Chen, while I sat quietly, watching them.

Everything seemed back to normal, except this time Xiao Xi was sitting across from me. I liked it—everything was harmonious.

I didn’t have to worry about things that bothered me. Zhou Chen would walk me home afterward, and we’d meet at the pool again tomorrow morning.

I so hoped nothing would change.

Soon, the desserts arrived, and everyone stopped talking to enjoy them.

I liked to eat slowly—it helped me savor the flavors, and the process was relaxing.

“Wow, it’s really good! Just like everyone said!”

I took a spoonful, letting the taste linger in my mouth, then looked up at Xiao Xi, whose face radiated happiness.

Her mouth was stuffed, cheeks puffed out like a little squirrel. She looked adorable.

I smiled easily, but then Zhou Chen’s action froze my spoon mid-air, and the smile vanished.

“Ai Xi, your mouth.”

Zhou Chen took a tissue from his pocket and handed it to Xiao Xi, pointing at the pale yellow cream smeared on her lip.

It was normal—Zhou Chen often handed tissues to whoever needed them. It seemed to be his habit.

I didn’t think anything of it at first. But Xiao Xi didn’t take the tissue. Instead, she scooped another big spoonful and stuffed it in her mouth, mumbling indistinctly that her hands were full. Then, Zhou Chen suddenly stood up, leaned across the table, and wiped her mouth for her.

Xiao Lu, I, and even Xiao Xi and Zhou Chen himself were all stunned.

Zhou Chen froze in that pose for a few seconds, then gave an awkward smile and slowly withdrew his hand.

“Um, Ai Xi, it’s clean. You can keep eating.”

Xiao Xi didn’t say a word. She just looked at me, her face bright red.

“Hey, Chenzi, what’s your problem?”

Xiao Lu glared at him fiercely, voicing the question I’d wanted to ask.

“Ah, well, I saw that Ai Xi didn’t wipe it, and I couldn’t help myself.”

Zhou Chen shrank back, looking at Xiao Lu with some fear.

Was that it? Zhou Chen had OCD, and I’d never noticed.

I looked at my dessert. A sudden urge drove me to imitate Xiao Xi. If I did, would Zhou Chen wipe my mouth too?

But could I be as willful as Xiao Xi? I couldn’t. So I held back with all my might.

Afterward, Xiao Lu scolded Zhou Chen for a long time, and he honestly apologized to Xiao Xi. We continued enjoying our desserts.

But the sweetness in my mouth no longer tasted good. It was like chewing wax—flavorless, unable to lift my spirits.

So even sweet things can’t always bring joy, I thought.