A Son’s Burdened Heart

“What connection do ‘caring’ and ‘love’ truly share? In your eyes, I’m surely nothing but trouble, am I not?”

“While I can’t control your perception of me, if you wish to unburden yourself, I am willing to listen.”

Observing the despondent boy before her, South Creek surmised she had inadvertently struck a raw nerve. Yet, she recalled Elise’s wisdom: the most effective way to soothe a grieving soul was not through one’s own words of comfort, but through the profound act of listening.

“You truly wish to listen? I recall you quite disliked me before…”

A bitter smile touched Jack’s lips as he gently stroked the two Dobbies squatting beside him, munching on fruits, his voice sinking to a low murmur.

“My personal feelings towards you are entirely separate. After all, my sister always taught me never to abandon someone in need of help.”

“Is that so? You and your sister are, indeed, remarkably alike…”

Gazing at the girl’s earnest expression, Jack found himself murmuring those words without conscious thought.

“What is it? Are you reluctant to speak with me?”

“If you wouldn’t mind…”

Feeling the soft fur of a Dobby in his hand, Jack savored the warmth against his palm. After a contemplative silence, he began to speak slowly.

“When I was just a small child, my eldest brother departed from our village.”

“He was once the unwavering pride of our entire family, endowed with the wisdom of a sand eagle, the courage to confront trolls, and, most remarkably, a magical talent exceptionally rare within our village.”

“Mother had always held my eldest brother in high regard, convinced that he would one day guide our family toward a life of prosperity and enable us to leave the village and settle in the city—a dream she had cherished her entire life.”

“Consequently, whenever she tutored my eldest brother, Mother was exceptionally diligent. As a result, in every conceivable aspect, he proved himself to be a truly self-reliant individual. Despite his somewhat difficult temper, he still earned the respect of everyone in the village, and the elders unanimously believed he was destined for an extraordinarily bright future.”

“It was not until I turned six, the very year my eldest brother reached eighteen, that he caught the eye of a church cleric who happened to be passing through our village. The cleric informed my parents that if they allowed my brother to join the church and become a Paladin, our entire family would soon enjoy a life of boundless happiness and prosperity. Though my brother harbored considerable reluctance, Mother’s relentless insistence ultimately swayed him, and he agreed to depart the village with the cleric to begin his Paladin training in the Andunila Theocracy.”

“On the eve of my eldest brother’s departure, the entire village, breaking tradition, convened a grand farewell gathering in his honor. Everyone rejoiced, believing he was destined for such an auspicious path, for no matter where one went, the Church stood as the undisputed embodiment of the Goddess’s faith.”

“And then, from that fateful day onward, my eldest brother simply never returned…”

“One year passed, then three, then five… Mother endured a grueling vigil, yet no tidings of my eldest brother ever reached her. Each and every time a messenger chanced to pass through our village, Mother would be the first to rush forward, eagerly inquiring about his whereabouts, but not once were her hopes fulfilled.”

“My eldest brother had vanished without a trace. The cherished hope in Mother’s heart—the dream of his return, of our family moving to the city for a better life—gradually faded into nothingness…”

“Whispers and rumors began to circulate through the village. Some claimed my eldest brother, having become a Paladin, had simply forgotten his family in this humble village, choosing instead to lead a life of carefree abandon. Others speculated that after such an extended silence, he had most likely perished…”

[Is that so… that explains her behavior at the church.]

“Mother refused to believe it. She simply could not fathom that the child she had painstakingly raised for so many years would abandon his family. As for the other, darker possibility… no one in our household dared to even consider it. Mother, being an incredibly sensitive soul, would invariably confront anyone she heard spreading these rumors, often escalating into heated arguments, and sometimes even physical altercations. After a time, while the villagers ceased to spread tales about my eldest brother, they also grew reluctant to engage Mother in conversation.”

“Moreover, with my eldest brother’s departure, many of the tasks he once shouldered now required new hands. As the years wore on, Father’s health began to falter, his body no longer as robust as it once was. Consequently, our family’s finances grew increasingly strained.”

“As the youngest in our family, and with my second brother having left us at a tender age, I began assisting with household chores and farm work when I was just eight years old. In fact, this very spot is one I stumbled upon quite by chance while helping out in the orchard.”

“Mother, deep down, she has always remembered that incident, hasn’t she? It was she who tirelessly urged my eldest brother to leave the village, and perhaps, she has carried that sorrow ever since. She loves us so dearly, our Mother; she loves each and every one of her children.”

“Yet, her expectations for us were distinct. She had hoped my eldest brother would usher in a new era for our family. But with his departure and his subsequent failure to return, Mother’s hopes naturally shifted, settling instead upon me. Perhaps that is how it came to be.”

“So, she is typically quite strict with you?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Glancing at the girl beside him, the weariness in Jack’s eyes seemed to deepen considerably.

“Mother… she always imposed upon me various household rules of unknown origin. She insisted that the men of our family must possess an indomitable spirit, never yielding to anyone, and that we must never, under any circumstances, bow our heads. She even forbade me from playing in the water with the other village children, claiming it would tarnish my image. But I despise it.”

“I find myself at a loss, unable to contradict Mother. She is undeniably good to me, yet her gaze upon me is far too fervent… I cannot bring myself to speak. I dare not tell her aloud that I detest these days, that I…”

His small head, adorned with short brown hair, buried itself deeply between his knees. Jack’s words were abruptly cut off by a choked sob. He inhaled deeply, exhaled, then inhaled again, repeating the motion several times before slowly lifting his head, murmuring.

“I cannot even fulfill her expectations… I am utterly useless.”

“Even the sun is willing to heed Chloros’s whispers, despite his existence being confined to the deepest night.”

“Wh-…”

“What is there to agonize over? If you are unwilling, you need only voice it. Your mother loves you profoundly; I am certain she will understand.”

South Creek spoke with a gentle smile, her gaze unwavering as she met Jack’s eyes, her own shining with remarkable clarity.

“I’ve already told you, haven’t I? She simply desires for others to meet her expectations, and I am incapable of even that—”

“Then what precisely is your mother hoping for? I believe, in truth, you understand it far better than she does.”

“I… I don’t know, I simply don’t know…”

Perhaps the answer to the question had long since been revealed. Yet, when the gentle smiles of memory intertwined with the chilling echoes of reprimand, even the clearest truth became utterly obscured.