Sharing a Bed

Upon hearing Luochen’s words, Su Yue instinctively glanced down at the plush bear nestled in her arms.

The sight of the bear immediately conjured a past laden with sorrow and a simmering resentment that made her teeth itch.

Lately, Su Yue found herself deeply troubled.

As the years passed, she realized she harbored an entirely different sort of affection for Luochen.

This sentiment transcended the familial bonds or friendships she shared with her master and the others at the orphanage.

It was, unequivocally, love.

Perhaps it had blossomed from that single, breathtaking glance in Holy Stone Plaza.

Perhaps it stemmed from the profound sense of security that enveloped her whenever she held her senior sister.

Or perhaps it was the culmination of countless nights they had spent together.

Ultimately, a burgeoning Su Yue was experiencing the sensation of loving someone for the very first time.

Each shared night of sleep became an arduous test for Su Yue.

Embracing Luochen’s soft, delicate form, Su Yue’s mind raced with wild thoughts.

She found herself tossing and turning once more, unable to find slumber, yet this time it wasn’t due to nightmares, but a fierce battle waged against the demons within her own heart.

In her most audacious moments, she had even slipped calming medicine into Luochen’s drink, then lay naked in her senior sister’s embrace.

Did her senior sister reciprocate such feelings?

Most likely, she did not.

Whenever she met Luochen’s clear, innocent gaze, Su Yue would be overcome with shame for her own impure thoughts.

To continue sharing a bed with the unsuspecting Luochen, all while harboring these illicit desires, felt profoundly wrong.

Surely, this amounted to a form of deception.

If her hidden affections were ever revealed, especially after having taken advantage of her status as a junior sister, would their bond as fellow disciples even survive?

Indeed, it seemed imperative to extinguish this forbidden affection as swiftly as possible.

If she maintained a distant demeanor towards her senior sister, perhaps Luochen would no longer treat her with such unwavering kindness.

Then, the unrealistic fantasy that ‘she likes me too’ could finally be laid to rest.

Thus, when Luochen once again appeared at her doorway, a pillow clutched in her arms, Su Yue finally spoke.

“Senior Sister, we’ve both grown up now. It would be better if you no longer came to my room to sleep together.”

“Junior Sister?”

Luochen’s expression instantly crumpled into one of profound hurt.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, her voice laced with confusion.

Su Yue offered no reply, instead closing the door with a touch of cruel finality.

She feared witnessing Luochen’s heartbroken face, and equally feared the immediate surge of regret that would surely follow.

Su Yue pressed her hand flat against the door’s surface.

‘Senior Sister…’ she murmured, her voice barely a whisper, audible only to herself.

Luochen, too, raised her hand, poised to knock on the door, but after a brief moment of hesitation, she let it fall.

Changing her gesture, she instead pressed her palm gently against the door.

“Alas.”

From beyond the door, a faint sigh drifted in.

Their palms rested in the exact same spot, yet the cold wooden barrier of the door utterly severed any warmth that might have passed between them.

Luochen turned, leaving behind only a solitary, forlorn silhouette.

‘Ah, Junior Sister is clearly going through her rebellious phase (TL Note: “青春期,” or ‘qīngchūnqī,’ refers to adolescence or puberty, often implying a period of moodiness or rebellion in this context).’

‘But as her senior sister, I must handle this correctly; I can’t let Junior Sister grow increasingly rebellious!’

****

Another night descended, and with it, a soft rap sounded at the door.

Su Yue, as if on instinct, shot upright in her bed.

‘Senior Sister?’

‘No, that’s impossible. Only days ago, I told Senior Sister not to come, surely wounding her heart.’

‘How could she possibly still come?’

With a faint, self-deprecating smile and a sliver of lingering hope, Su Yue unlatched and opened her door.

Standing beyond the threshold was, indeed, her senior sister.

The instant Luochen caught sight of her, she spoke with a rush of urgency.

“Junior Sister, I haven’t come to sleep with you.”

Gazing at the eager, almost plaintive Luochen, Su Yue felt as though her heart had been dealt a heavy blow.

“Senior Sister.”

A lump formed in Su Yue’s throat, leaving her at a loss for words.

Luochen then raised the plush bear she held, and only at that moment did Su Yue truly notice the charming toy Luochen had brought.

“Since I won’t be sleeping with you anymore, Junior Sister, let this accompany you in my stead.”

“Should Junior Sister ever feel a touch of loneliness or solitude, at least you won’t be entirely by yourself.”

The ethereal beauty before her raised the plush toy, a faint smile gracing her lips.

Neither the radiant moon nor the brilliant stars could compare to the person standing before her.

‘Senior Sister, how could you be so utterly foolish?’

‘Even after I’ve wounded your heart so deeply, do you still think of me?’

Su Yue took the plush bear, a choked ‘thank you’ escaping her lips as she fought to suppress her tears.

After Luochen departed, Su Yue could no longer contain the profound sorrow welling within her heart.

Tears streamed down, pattering onto the plush bear’s face and dampening its innocent, charming smile.

The current Su Yue yearned only to punch her past self squarely in the face.

‘Had I truly, with my own two hands, squandered the privilege of sleeping beside Senior Sister?’

‘Su Yue, you absolute monster!’

After several years of intense internal conflict, Su Yue had finally accepted the undeniable truth of her affection for her senior sister, and harbored no intention of abandoning it.

The emergence of Chen Ruan, in particular, had ignited a keen sense of urgency within her.

‘If I don’t fight for her now, what if someone else snatches Senior Sister away?’

****

Since that day, it seemed she hadn’t shared a bed with her junior sister even once.

Luochen slowly roused herself from her reverie.

‘Adolescent girls are truly terrifying. It was, in fact, from that very moment that my adorable junior sister transformed into such a distant and aloof person.’

‘However, lately, Junior Sister seems to have reverted to her old self quite a bit.’

“Junior Sister, if there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave now.”

With their conversation seemingly concluded, Luochen decided it was time to depart.

Watching her senior sister’s retreating figure, Su Yue recalled the words she had left unsaid the last time Luochen departed.

The image of herself peering through the window, watching her senior sister walk away, flashed in her mind.

It truly resembled that… what was it called again?

‘A ‘defeated dog’ (TL Note: “败犬,” or ‘bàiquǎn,’ is a Japanese-derived slang term, ‘haiken,’ referring to a woman who loses in a romantic rivalry, often portrayed as pathetic or lovelorn)? Senior Sister seemed to have called me that.’

‘Come on, Su Yue, you absolutely cannot become a defeated dog!’

“Um, Senior Sister, why don’t you sleep with me tonight?”

The young girl buried her face deep into the plush bear, allowing only a pair of hopeful eyes to peek out and gaze at Luochen.

“It’s been so long since we last slept together.”

Su Yue meticulously observed Luochen’s reaction, like a novice undergoing a crucial aptitude test, her tension mixed with a fragile thread of anticipation.

“Well, about that…”

Luochen’s voice reached her ears, yet her retreating footsteps showed no sign of slowing.

In an instant, her senior sister vanished from her sight.

‘As expected, the past events still left a lingering resentment in Senior Sister’s heart. It was understandable, of course.’

‘Su Yue offered a self-deprecating smile. After all, anyone who had endured such circumstances would surely harbor some degree of dissatisfaction.’

The very next second, Luochen reappeared, gripping the doorframe with both hands as she leaned into the room, only her head visible.

“I’m just going to grab my pillow.”

She tilted her head, her long hair cascading like a dark waterfall, now bathed in a golden luminescence by the lamplight, resembling molten honey.

The corners of her lips curved upward, hinting at a playful mischief.

‘Senior Sister was absolutely doing this on purpose.’

‘Yet, despite her certainty, Su Yue’s heart swelled with a sweetness akin to honey.’

‘Senior Sister is truly the best.’

****

“Once upon a time, there lived a destitute scholar named Ning Caichen…”

On the bed, Luochen was vividly recounting the tale of ‘A Chinese Ghost Story’ (TL Note: “倩女幽魂,” or ‘Qiànnǚ Yōuhún,’ is a classic Chinese supernatural romance story, famously adapted into films like ‘A Chinese Ghost Story’), captivating Su Yue with her narration.

They lay so close that Su Yue could distinctly hear the steady rhythm of her senior sister’s heartbeat.

A familiar, comforting fragrance enveloped her, bringing with it an unparalleled sense of peace.

Su Yue buried her head deeper, inhaling the scent with a hint of greed.

As on countless nights before, she instinctively reached out and embraced Luochen.

However, her senior sister’s body felt notably colder than it ever had.

Recalling Luochen’s worsening illness, Su Yue found herself clutching her senior sister even tighter.

It was as if, with the slightest carelessness, her senior sister might simply drift away.