The Risky Comfort of a Senior’s Lap

Rene Havre looks slightly displeased.

“Just follow me for a second.”

“Ariang! Don’t just stand there, go with her. Your senior is speaking to you.”

I’d already refused once, and in a hierarchical society, there’s no point in flatly rejecting Rene’s command in front of other seniors. As I was excused, I naturally felt the envious gazes of the other ladies. I was used to it, but today, their eyes looked particularly desperate.

If you’re so jealous, you should have joined the Knight Department…

I pushed past the first-years who looked ready to die of envy and followed Rene out.

“I am sorry, Senior.”

“Sorry for what?”

I wasn’t actually sorry, but I said it because she looked a bit angry. People are usually like that; if a subordinate listens to their peers but ignores their direct superior, it’s like questioning that superior’s leadership. Having been in a high position myself once, I understood the sentiment.

“I felt I should stay back and work on our synchronization.”

“Synchronization? You think that’s practice? It’s a hazing. What is there to synchronize?”

Honestly, I wanted to prod Rene a little more. She’s been so helpful that I wanted to see how far I could push. If I’m going to use her to make my life easier, I need to know exactly what buttons to push and what makes her happy.

“Why aren’t you listening? I told you to follow me.”

“My classmates are suffering. It feels wrong to be the only one to escape. If these special exceptions keep piling up…”

“Don’t give me that ‘special exception’ talk. Word’s already out that you’re the one keeping the first-years in line. You’re already an exception.”

When did that rumor start?

“Then all the more reason for me to lead by example. I can’t maintain my dignity if I’m constantly being pulled away.”

“Be quiet.”

If she had argued that my privileges were a reward for loyalty—a way to motivate others to be like me—I might have conceded. But Rene isn’t the type for complex logic. She argues up to a point, and if that fails, she just pulls rank.

“You’ve got great form when dancing, so why do you walk like that? Are you doing it on purpose?”

She was clearly frustrated about losing the verbal sparring match, so she took a jab at my walk. I was walking like a suspect in a lineup, but that was because I was trying to keep my height low by mimicking the stance of someone pedaling a bicycle while standing up.

“I act clumsy in front of you, Senior, but I act tough in front of my friends.”

“Why bother?”

“Because I want to be someone who needs your guidance, but also someone my peers can rely on.”

Rene’s expression softened slightly at that.

“You certainly have a way with words… and I noticed your tone changed too. Was that intentional?”

“Yes.”

If I only spoke a few words, I could get away with a casual feminine tone, but in a long conversation with Rene, she might catch the deeper resonance in my voice and grow suspicious. So, from the start, I used the formal and blunt da-na-ka military style, which naturally leans deeper.

We soon arrived at the dueling hall. Without warning, Rene spoke.

“Lie down.”

“Pardon?”

“I said, lie down.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Sleep.”

Ah, she wants me to sleep here?

The dueling hall was equipped with medical resting beds, plenty of them, even with curtains. Whatever else the Noble Ladies’ Academy lacked, it certainly didn’t lack high-end facilities.

“No, I am fine.”

“Ugh, be quiet. Just sleep.”

“This isn’t really helping me.”

“Who said I was trying to help? I’m just doing what I want.”

“Are first-year juniors just objects for you to do whatever you want with?”

“You really talk back to me a lot, don’t you? Do you think I’m a joke?”

“It is because I want to keep the conversation going.”

“What?”

“To be precise, it’s because I want to keep hearing your voice… Mmph.”

She didn’t hit me, but my lips were suddenly pinched together by Rene’s index finger and thumb.

“Stop talking nonsense and just go to sleep.”

“Whether I sleep here or keep practicing for the welcoming ceremony, won’t you be practicing alone today anyway?”

“Well, probably.”

It would be nice if there were sparring matches with the knights, but there were none. Exchange with other classes—many of which had knight aspirants—was limited because of the wars and conflicts happening outside the Academy. Still, for her to go this far… I wanted to ask if she was lonely, but that felt like crossing a line. Instead of a serious question, I’ll try a playful jab.

“Are you planning to put me to sleep here and then wake me up like Sleeping Beauty?”

“You acted so stoic, but you’re just another one who came here dreaming of romance novels and balls, aren’t you?”

Judging by her face, she thought I was delusional. It was the same kind of jab the seniors used when they mocked first-years for thinking they were only here for social parties.

“Your care makes me nervous.”

“I like men, you weirdo! What kind of delusions are you having? Just sleep, now.”

The truth was, I didn’t want to sleep here. Who knows what might happen if I sleep next to someone? I might talk in a man’s voice or shout Kingdom military slogans in my sleep. What if Rene got suspicious and unbuttoned my formal wear? Even if she didn’t suspect anything, what if I kicked in my sleep and exposed my legs?

“My, how unladylike for a Count’s daughter,” she might say, trying to cover me up. “Wait, why are her calves so muscular?” What if she dug deeper? “Why is her chest so firm?” What if she unzipped the fabric? “What is this bulge?”

I’d be finished. I appreciated the gesture, but I couldn’t accept it. Even though I’m a strong, young warrior, I’d been up all night. Controlling sleep is hard enough, but it’s nearly impossible when you’re this desperate for it.

“Then may I return to the dormitory? I will go and rest there.”

“No, because you’ll just end up practicing in the Great Hall again. Besides, it’s better here. If rumors spread that you were slacking off alone in the dorms, do you think you’ll survive here?”

I’d spoken without thinking; it was indeed a bad spot to be in. If I slept in the empty dueling hall, there would be no issue as long as Rene kept quiet.

“I do not have a pillow.”

“What do you want me to do about it? Go get you one? If you don’t sleep right now, I’ll really… I mean it!”

She didn’t even have a threat ready, just a bunch of “I mean its.”

“Actually, I think I would sleep well if you let me use your lap.”

“What?!”

“I want to sleep using your lap as a pillow, Senior.”

“…Are you surprisingly affectionate, or just crazy?”

She took it as affection. More accurately, I was testing her to see how much she’d tolerate. Once I knew where the line was, it would be easier to use her. I needed to push her until she exploded and said, “Fine, don’t sleep, just go practice!”

“I am.”

“Why act like that with a face like yours? You don’t need to try so hard.”

“That is why I usually don’t. This isn’t just an act; I am sincere.”

“You really don’t back down. Fine, just sleep and then get out.”

“I will only sleep if you let me.”

“You have a strange obsession.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

My calculation was that if I controlled the lap area, her hands wouldn’t wander down toward my chest. I planned to keep my eyes closed without actually falling asleep, but just in case. Rene already believed that muscular female characters could be firm, so as long as she didn’t strip me, it wouldn’t be a catastrophe.

“Since you are being so kind, can’t I fall for you a little?”

“Are you naturally insane? Or did hanging out with Girona turn you into this?”

“You are the one making me lose my mind. Sister, do you want to see me go crazy?”

“I’m the same age as you!”

Teasing her was actually quite fun. Regardless, I couldn’t refuse any longer. My only option was to close my eyes and pretend to sleep. I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t keep refusing. In times like these, a tragic backstory is best.

“I was being overfamiliar with my jokes. If you ask why… honestly, I do not know. Perhaps it is because you accepted my complaining when I said I needed a pillow. It reminded me of my mother, who used to humor my whims when we lay in the fields when I was very young.”

No such memory existed. It was an instant fabrication.

“Oh… I see. She must have been a wonderful person.”

The parent card—always an unstoppable move—successfully shut down Rene’s nagging.

“I was too embarrassed to say that, so I spoke nonsense instead.”

“Sigh, alright. Come here.”

Did I use too much of a “checkmate” move? She’s actually doing it? I thought she’d just get angry and kick me out. I’d found a secondary option since sleeping next to her was uncomfortable, but I was still nervous. Could I stay sensitive enough to snap my eyes open the moment she touched me?

“But don’t actually fall for me.”

“I was just saying that.”

“Just lie down.”

“Are you disappointed that I am not actually in love?”

“Do you want to die? Honestly, the things I do…”

Even so, the tension kept sleep at bay. Lying straight on a lap pillow exposes your lower body to the person sitting. I could see the lower half of a girl with sturdy thighs—exactly my type. Moreover, there was the risk of an involuntary “reaction” while sleeping. The padding and formal wear hid things, but it could still look unnatural. If she found it strange and touched it?

I’d likely be stabbed to death by Rene’s sword. It would be a pathetic end, so even though I was exhausted, my body remained tense.

“Mmmgh.”

So, I turned onto my side. On my side, the baggy formal wear would drape over and hide everything. Or I could lie face down. But as soon as I moved, Rene started squirming.

“Pfft, ahahaha! Hey! Hey, hey!”

She was laughing so hard she started hitting me.

“What is the matter?”

“It—it’s too ticklish! Just lie straight!”

“I sleep better like this.”

“Still!”

Rene was wearing a light tunic in the dueling hall. Her bottom half was covered in athletic, leggings-style clothing. It was strange to see such synthetic-looking materials in a medieval setting, but they existed nonetheless. Usually, the tunic covered her to the knees, so her curves weren’t obvious, but since she was kneeling, the fabric didn’t cover her legs properly. In other words, the lines of her hips and thighs were clearly visible.

I felt awkward lying there looking toward her stomach, so I turned toward her knees… but she was dying of the tickles.

“Then I will lie face down.”

That gave me a perfect excuse. If I lay face down, any “reaction” would be pressed down and hidden. I rested my forehead on her lap, letting my face be cushioned. This way, I might actually be able to sleep. I didn’t know if I’d toss and turn, but for now, it worked.

“Ah, ahahaha! Hey, your breath is hitting me!”

I stayed still, feigning ignorance. Naturally, if I lay on my side, my cheek, ear, and hair would touch her, making it ticklish. But face down, my eyes, nose, and mouth were all in contact, letting her feel every breath. It was surprisingly cushioned. It might get numb and painful if I stayed like this too long, but her legs were trained by nimble swordsmanship; she could probably handle it.

“Heeey! Turn your head the other way! It’s too ticklish!”

She forcibly turned my head to the side, and now I was facing her stomach.

Don’t you… care about the view? I was the one being considerate by looking toward her knees. Looking at a noble maiden’s abdomen offered no benefit to a cross-dressing spy. Especially since those thighs looked as thick as chicken legs.

“Ugh, mmm, ticklish…”

I could feel Rene’s squirming through her thighs.

“Your breath is so hot. Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Yes.”

“Hey, I’m being a pillow for you, isn’t this a bit much?”

“Breath comes out naturally, and won’t it get hot since our body temperatures are touching?”

“Ah, wait, wait a second. Let me stretch my legs. My joints hurt.”

Rene, who had been sitting on her knees, lifted my head and stretched her legs out straight. Now, instead of her stomach…

This is quite scandalous.

Now that her position was set, I turned my head back toward her knees.

Slap!

“Ow!”

“I said it’s ticklish! Why do you keep turning that way?”

Is my face asymmetrical? Why is the right cheek ticklish, but she can tolerate the left?

“Gah!?”

I had sworn not to sleep, but I must have drifted off. I snapped my eyes open. Fortunately, my clothes were still intact. I didn’t fully trust Rene, but I figured she wasn’t the type to do anything untoward.

However, there was drool everywhere. Since I’d been sleeping face down, there was a large wet patch on the thigh of Rene’s leggings. I looked up to see what she was doing.

She was asleep too, her head leaning against the wall. Man, I felt bad. My drool had left a mark that looked like a map. If someone with a dirty mind saw it, it would look incredibly compromising. I couldn’t exactly wipe it for her… this was awkward.

“Haaaah…”

The windows of the dueling hall were open, and a soft breeze ruffled Rene’s sky-blue hair. Her side-swept hair fluttered, revealing her neck and sharp jawline. It was a beautiful sight, but now wasn’t the time for sentiment. I woke her up with a low voice.

“Senior.”

“Ah!, uh, hmm. Ow, ow… did I fall asleep?”

“I am sorry.”

“No, it’s… hmmm.”

The moment she regained her senses, her expression turned serious.

“Ah, why are you looking at me like that…?”

“I didn’t expect you to say something like that.”

“Pardon?”

“You are a suspicious one.”

What on earth did I say in my sleep? Do I really have to dig a grave and bury her too?