A Cement Mixer is a Tough Guy’s Romance

The hair flowed under the bright flashlight beam, looking dark and smooth, coiled up like a nest of black snakes filling the bottom of the trash can. The moment I saw it and recognized what it was, countless fears from every horror movie I’d ever seen rushed into my mind, sending a high-voltage jolt through my entire body. A chill ran down my spine, and my footing became unsteady as I stumbled backward, my mind screaming It’s the grudge! It’s Sadako!

What kept me from falling directly onto the filthy floor was Exusiai. This slender girl, who had been holding my waist, was quick on her feet. As if she had practiced it countless times with other girls in a well-worn event CG, she caught me in her arms. Her movements were so practiced! It made me involuntarily ask her, “Just how many girls have you held?”

She didn’t hesitate, replying in her energetic voice, her handsome face breaking into a grin, “Do you remember how many slices of bread you’ve eaten in your life?”

Don’t reply to me with such a DIO-level line!

Exusiai held me from behind, her slender white arms wrapping around me from under my short sleeves, her soft hands resting on my body. Her embrace was lean, the kind only a person with a humble heart and figure could give, but it was still comfortable enough. Being enveloped by her arms from both sides, that sense of security and comfort was intoxicating. This one… no wonder so many girls fell for her. She was a natural-born conqueror.

“Is this… hair?” Yukino squatted down, her legs together in a manner befitting her literary maiden image. She held her phone in one hand, her dark eyes peering inside the trash can with a detective’s focus. “Why is there so much hair?”

No one in this deathly silent, open-doored room could give her an answer.

Saber also squatted down, smoothing her vest. True to her reputation as the toughest guy in the class, she actually reached out, pinched a lock of the dark hair between her slender white index finger and thumb, and rubbed it. “It’s hair, alright, but not necessarily a girl’s hair.” Her heroic voice, like that of a medieval knight, was as serious as the cold moon outside the window.

“You think it’s animal fur?” I disagreed. “Looking at it, it’s definitely from a person. It couldn’t have come from an animal.”

“That’s not what I mean. I also think it’s from a person.” Saber looked up at me, her verdant gaze lingering for a moment on Exusiai’s hands wrapped around my waist, before she shook her head and said, “It’s from a person, from a girl, but it’s not necessarily head hair.”

“It’s this long, what else could it be if not head hair?” I was full of confusion.

A serious, scholarly look appeared in her eyes. “Have you forgotten? The scalp isn’t the only place on the human body that can grow hair. If not head hair… there are so many other areas of skin that can grow hair!!”

“…” I never would have thought she could come up with a line like that. “Besides head hair, what other human hair can grow this long???”

Saber sighed softly, lecturing me like a teacher disappointed in her student. “Look, a girl’s head hair is much longer than a boy’s, right? By that logic, it’s perfectly normal for a girl’s other body hair to be much longer than a boy’s, isn’t it?”

“Or perhaps…” a glint flashed in her eyes, a spark of pure, insane genius, “…have you conducted a rigorous sample survey, including a differentiated investigation of men and women across all age groups, all races, and all developmental environments?”

I was at a loss for words. It might be a little embarrassing to admit, but just like Saber, I hadn’t investigated a single girl. My research data was zero.

I scratched my cheek. “Sorry, my thinking was far too simple.”

“Don’t apologize!” The one who objected was Yukino. Her beautiful eyes were wide open with disbelief. “What kind of outrageous things are you two talking about??”

Exusiai, who had the most authority on this matter, also spoke up, smiling helplessly. “I’ve seen so many different kinds of people, and no girl has hair this long anywhere other than her head.”

Hearing this, Saber’s face immediately turned tragic. “Sorry, it was my ignorance. As expected, a tough guy like me really doesn’t understand girls well enough.”

Seriously, I think the reason Saber had never managed to start a wonderful relationship with any of the girls at school was entirely her own fault. She actually had a chance.

Shortly after we started school, Saber’s tough-guy aura had attracted the attention of many girls in our class. At that time, the whole class was in a group on a social media app. A very cute girl in our class, who probably had a thing for tough guys like Saber, secretly sent him a private message. As they were chatting, the girl asked Saber which girl in the class he had a good impression of.

Saber, who hadn’t yet had his ‘tools of the trade’ confiscated by System-Hime, was ecstatic. He was chatting with the girl on his phone in the dorm, so before answering this crucial question, he took a moment to ask for my opinion.

I said at the time, “For this girl to ask you this, it’s obvious she has a crush on you. And what attracts her to you is clearly this tough-guy aura. So, the specific content of your reply isn’t important. What’s important is that your words must maintain your tough-guy image. That’s how you’ll continue to attract her.”

Saber deeply agreed and sent what he thought was the most tough-guy sentence in reply to the girl:

[Which girl in the class do I have a good impression of? Hmph, only sissies go after girls. A real man should compete with other men!!]

And so, the news that Saber was gay spread like wildfire throughout the class and even the entire department. From that reckless reply, his youth ended. His romance route was sealed off by his own hands.

Afterward, I also analyzed his mistake for him. His error was obvious. It was clearly…

…his answer wasn’t tough enough!!

If he had said, [Only sissies compete with other men. A real man should go head-to-head with a cement mixer!!!], he might even have kids by now.

Right now, in the gloomy, abandoned dormitory, Saber pinched the lock of hair and looked at it, puzzled. “Since it’s head hair, this much hair is probably a whole girl’s worth, right? Why was it left here… Did she shave her head to become a nun in the dorm?”

As she spoke, her movements froze. From beneath the thick hair in the flashlight-bleached trash can, a corner of a note was visible.

She boldly pulled the note out and showed it to all of us.

The note had wrinkles like an old person’s skin, as if it had once been tightly clenched in a fist. On the note, a line of text was imprinted in ink as black as death. I say “imprinted” instead of “written” because the handwriting had left deep marks on the paper, even piercing through it in some places, leaving behind startling, wound-like tears.

The messy, desperate handwriting read:

[I can’t escape no matter what I do. Help me!]

In an instant, a thick fear filled the entire room, making the small, gloomy space feel like it had sunk into the deep sea, suffocating us with its silent, screaming plea.

I want it all!

Excellent, very much in my style!!