Between Control and Desire

“Sir, the mayor has just arrived.”

“Which floor?”

“4th floor, Conference Room 1.”

I stepped aside behind the executive director as he went up the stairs and shook hands with the mayor of Pyeongtaek.

The scale of the project was enough to sustain an entire city.

Over the next two years, the projected investment for construction was close to 36 trillion won, and the expected population influx afterward reached around 400,000 people.

Considering even the jobs relocating from other regions, it was easily one of Pyeongtaek’s greatest achievements in attracting development.

That also meant there had been plenty of benefits gained while straddling the line between legality and illegality—but that was all in the past now.

Fortunately, the brief exchange of pleasantries and formal talk ended quickly.

The mayor, who resembled a school principal, laughed heartily and offered a final handshake.

“I’d like to treat you to a meal, but I’m not sure if you’ll have time.”

“Normally I’d adjust my schedule, but unfortunately I can’t rearrange what comes next. Let’s meet after the groundbreaking ceremony.”

“I’ll contact you.”

I tucked away the business card handed to me by the approaching man.

By the time we saw the mayor off, who was still discussing post-ceremony plans, quite some time had passed.

It was already getting dark outside.

The barren land, lit only by lonely streetlights, showed little activity—just a line of commuter buses passing through due to the small number of employees.

Watching the tail end of a bus fade beyond the horizon, it felt like this wasn’t even Earth.

It reminded me of the imagined landscapes of Mars I’d seen in childhood science magazines.

The place was still desolate.

Only the distant skyline of a satellite city, lined up like tiny Lego blocks, was barely visible beyond the hills.

The executive director, seated in the meeting room, spun his chair and looked out the window.

Then he frowned slightly, as if something bothered him.

Even that small movement prompted Secretary Song, standing nearby, to ask quickly,

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“Just thinking about going all the way home is a hassle.”

As he spoke, he reached into his jacket and took out a small pill container.

After opening it and staring at it briefly, he placed a pill into his mouth.

The way he chewed and swallowed it without water didn’t look normal.

“Are you unwell?”

“It’s nothing new.”

Only then did he casually open a bottle of water.

He didn’t look sick at all, which made a thought occur to me.

He worked from home whenever he wanted, making it hard to gauge—but something crossed my mind.

After pulling his lips into a tight smile, he briefly narrowed one eye before relaxing it.

“Let’s go up.”

“I’ll prepare the car.”

Once even Secretary Song left, only the two of us remained in the empty office.

I was about to step out myself to organize things when suddenly, a hand grabbed my wrist.

Was his body temperature always like this?

His warm palm wrapped firmly around it.

“Are you leaving me alone?”

“No.”

I stayed beside him in case he needed something, but nothing followed.

He stretched his back and raised both arms in a long yawn.

His tall frame, lit by the fading sunset, looked flexible yet strong.

He sat upright again, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck before lowering it.

He seemed more restless than usual.

Somehow… constrained.

“Director.”

“Mm.”

“Are you alright?”

“For now.”

“Will someone else assist you this weekend if not me?”

The high-end chair turned silently toward me even with his weight on it.

“Rut?”

“Yes.”

“How did you know?”

“I couldn’t… exactly feel it, but you looked uncomfortable, so I guessed.”

“I see.”

“Yes.”

“Well. I haven’t decided yet.”

“….”

“Who should I roll around with?”

The last remark was clearly meant to test me.

Or perhaps it was like casually toying with something in his hand.

Still, his gaze lingered on me.

I might lack tact, but perhaps this much was allowed—I made a vague assumption.

“Should I come?”

“I did consider it.”

“….”

“Will you be alright, Secretary Yoon?”

“I…”

The answer didn’t come easily.

Even though I brought it up first, I hesitated, and he watched my expression with surprising patience.

“Don’t answer so quickly. Rut isn’t something to take lightly.”

“I know.”

“You’ve never experienced it.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t go easy on you either.”

“Yes.”

“Still want to do it?”

“…If you’re okay with it.”

“I’m always okay with you, Secretary Yoon.”

At that moment, my phone rang.

It was an unknown number, but I could guess who it was.

Secretary Song’s blunt voice informed me the car was ready downstairs.

The director rose lazily from his chair.

After receiving greetings from employees, he got into the car, and the seating arrangement remained the same as before.

As the car moved smoothly, he asked,

“Secretary Song, no villa around here, right?”

“Only company-owned buildings or training centers.”

“Then we’ll have to go up.”

“It’s the opposite direction, so traffic shouldn’t be bad.”

“Let’s go to the officetel.”

“Yes.”

Even without specifying which one, the driver seemed to understand.

I did too.

It must be that place where we first met.

His next words were directed at me.

“There won’t be enough time to go elsewhere.”

“I’m fine. Really. I don’t dislike that place.”

“If you have somewhere in mind, let me know. I’ll consider it.”

I didn’t quite understand what he meant.

Did he mean calling another place or hotel?

And even if I told him, what would he do?

I couldn’t quite follow his thinking.

Night had fallen by the time work hours ended.

As the car followed the red taillights ahead, I sat in the passenger seat, growing increasingly restless.

Unable to bear the stuffy air, I cracked the window open slightly.

Still, the unease didn’t fade.

He said he’d go easy on me—but could I really handle him tonight?

Even so, I didn’t want him to seek someone else.

That was all.

I was just another person myself, yet I didn’t want him touching someone else.

Was that selfishness?

Raindrops began to fall from the damp sky, streaking across the window.

As I followed their trails, I realized the emotion left behind—

the selfishness and desire I had always been told I lacked as a child…

now rising within me.

Even though it had been empty for a while, warmth filled the officetel the moment the door opened.

Before I could even step onto the marble floor, I was grabbed by the director and turned around.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me back until my body hit the shoe cabinet.

As I opened my mouth from the sudden pain in my shoulder blades, his lips pressed against mine.

Our teeth lightly clashed before his tongue slid past, deepening the kiss.

For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

His knee pushed between my legs, rubbing against my inner thigh, pressing firmly.

A sudden surge of heat rose through me.

What I thought unfamiliar wasn’t unfamiliar at all.

The way he pressed into me, taking control without restraint, already made my lower body ache.

As he pulled me closer, I could feel his heat even through layers of clothing.

His arousal pressed heavily against my stomach through his shirt—hard and unmistakable.

When our lips parted, I tried to close my legs, but his thigh held me firmly in place.

My own reaction brushed against the fabric of his clothes.

Forcing my expression to stay calm, I said,

“Let’s go inside first. I should shower…”

“Shower?”

The same word, yet the way he said it felt entirely different.

He tilted my chin upward with his nose.

My head lifted naturally, and his face pressed into my neck.

His teeth grazed my skin, slightly rougher than usual.

He always controlled himself—but this felt different.

“Do I look like I have that kind of patience?”

“Still… I should wash first.”

“If I wait that long, what’s in it for me?”

He made it sound like my way of thinking was wrong.

When I hesitated, his teeth grazed my throat more firmly.

Like a predator tightening its grip.

I flinched, but he continued relentlessly.

“I-I’ll take care of it quickly.”

“I’ll do it for you.”

“I’ll handle it properly…”

At my insistence, he finally lifted his head.

His breathing was uneven.

Was he angry?

He slightly narrowed one eye, then took my hand and placed it against his lower abdomen.

The heat filled my palm.

“The longer you take, the worse this will get. Still okay?”

“It’s going to happen anyway, isn’t it?”

“You’re not easy to fool.”

He covered his eyes with his hand briefly.

Then when he looked down at me again, his gaze burned.

“Go wash quickly. I’ll at least cool off with cold water.”

“Yes.”

Only then could I move away.

But as I stepped forward, he suddenly pulled me back again, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

He bit down on the back of my neck before letting me go.

“Hurry back.”

I didn’t need to be told twice.

I rushed into the nearest bathroom, feeling his gaze on me until the door closed.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I saw the faint red marks on my neck.

That alone made my face flush.