The Class Monitor’s Loneliness

However.

The truth, however, was far more complex.

Youli was practically suffocating!

‘That ‘blush of temptation’ was nothing more than a flush of crimson, a silent scream of the body, brought on by a dangerous surge of blood pressure and muscle tension from sheer oxygen deprivation and overwhelming emotion, wasn’t it?!’

“…First, Ye Sakaki… I…”

“…Father… Mother… Then…”

****

Youli finally calmed down.

The two thousand five hundred words I had uttered in a single breath, a torrent of spiritual pronouncements delivered in just one minute, had finally taken effect.

“Hoo… hoo-hoo.”

“So, that new student is actually Little Qi’s biological older brother? Not Little Qi’s… that?”

I, too, was somewhat breathless from my rapid-fire explanation.

Though I didn’t want to admit it in the slightest.

But! For the future where Youli and I could become ‘good friends’!

“…Yes, that person is… my… biological… twin… older brother…”

Under Youli’s teasing gaze, I found myself struggling to suppress my emotions.

“What’s wrong?! Can’t I have a disappointing older brother?!”

At that moment, I felt like an old man on the verge of entering his grave, pointing at a newborn child on the ground who couldn’t even control their bowel movements.

And declaring, “Ahem, ahem… By generation, this little brat is my great-great-grandfather.”

Even though the subject was myself, I had witnessed my own development entirely from an outsider’s perspective. I truly never wanted to experience such a thing again, not even once!

Youli, however, seemed to let out a long sigh of relief.

“Hehe… No, no, it’s just that Little Qi and that older brother don’t seem to resemble each other at all… Neither in looks nor in temperament is there the slightest similarity~”

“Of course not! I’m the real deal! How could that ‘fake’ possibly resemble me?”

Youli, smiling, patted her chest and smoothed out her pent-up breath.

“…”

“No, wait… I suddenly feel… if I really pay attention, I realize that Little Qi and Ye Sakaki actually have the impression of reflections, one inside the mirror and one outside~”

“…Huh?”

“But it’s truly wonderful. If Little Qi were to get a boyfriend… I… I really wouldn’t know what to do…”

‘What?!’

‘Had I misheard?!’

A refreshing breeze, usually reserved for spring, now swept into my heart amidst the crisp autumn air.

Youli, whom I had adored both in the past and the present, had actually said this:

“If Little Qi were to get a boyfriend, I really wouldn’t know what to do.”

In that instant, thirty years of experience compelled me to forcibly rephrase Youli’s words in my mind into this: ‘If Little Qi were to get a ‘girlfriend,’ ‘I’ really wouldn’t know what to do~’

‘This! This sort of—almost an ad-ad-ad-admission of feelings?!’

“Youli, I…!”

I was practically bursting with eagerness to convey my true feelings to the girl before me. ‘Lolicons, past lives, present lives… all of it could go to hell!’

“Youli! I! I actually!”

However, the Class Monitor spoke before I could.

“Ah… As a Class Monitor, it would really be a headache to have to send a close friend I’ve only just met to the disciplinary office for such a crime~”

‘Ah-ha~ So that’s how it is! So that’s how it truly is!’

‘In your eyes, Youli, I’m just a ‘good friend.’ And the kind of good friend who breaks class rules and needs to be dragged to the disciplinary office!’

****

“Little Qi, what’s wrong?”

“I want to be alone, Youli.”

“Jingjing? Who’s that? A friend of Little Qi’s?”

****

“Still… I really don’t know why, but the thought of Little Qi getting a boyfriend truly gives me a headache…”

Youli spoke with a touch of emotion, yet her feelings were unclear, a kind of… headache without knowing precisely what she was distressed about.

‘But it’s truly wonderful. Because… because my ‘first friend’ won’t just leave me without a clear reason.’

“A headache?”

“Hey, Little Qi, do you know?”

‘If you don’t say it, how could I possibly know?!’

I brushed a long strand of hair, which had fallen in front of my nose and partially obscured my vision, behind my ear.

Youli didn’t seem to wait for me to speak. She simply turned, adjusted her posture on the long wooden bench, and averted her gaze from mine.

Though a bit puzzled, I could only listen intently.

“…Once, there was a girl who could get along amicably with anyone.”

“From elementary school onward, that girl was able to keep classroom management, something even teachers struggled with, perfectly organized.”

“…To make friends… the girl constantly helped the class in ways that would never displease anyone, silently working behind the scenes.”

“Whenever anyone had a question they didn’t understand, they would always find an answer with the girl… When classmates faced difficulties in life, the girl, hailing from the ‘Tenshouin Zaibatsu’ and already elected Class Monitor, would smile and help resolve their troubles… Even if students had complaints, the Class Monitor would meticulously handle them using the most reasonable methods.”

“…”

“Gradually, every student who saw that girl would look at her from a distance with gazes of respect, yet also ‘inferiority.'”

“‘Ah, that’s the Class Monitor from Class 3, Grade 4, she’s truly outstanding!’… ‘Ah, I wish I had that Class Monitor.’… ‘Please don’t compare me to the Class Monitor… How could someone as excellent as the Class Monitor be compared to someone as ordinary as me?’…”

“…No matter when, seeking out the Class Monitor for any difficulty had become a tradition in the class.”

“Sometimes, the students would even say this:”

“‘If there’s no problem, how could we possibly disturb the esteemed Class Monitor?'”

“…That’s what they’d say.”

“Therefore, that Class Monitor didn’t even have a single person she could truly talk to… not even one. The only ones she could converse with, besides her family, were the cats she kept at home.”

“When she finally came to her senses, she realized that the ‘impression’ others held of her could no longer be changed.”

“…So, she didn’t even have… a single friend…”

A sudden chill gripped my heart.

Was this the kind of loneliness that this young girl had endured all along? A girl who was needed by others, yet unknowingly, cruelly abandoned by their well-meaning distance, was now baring her suppressed emotions here.

But I… I didn’t even know how to respond to such a profound feeling.

Regardless… at this moment… even though I didn’t even know what I truly meant to the Class Monitor, I had to summon courage that might very well be presumptuous, or perhaps, simply wishful thinking.

I leaned towards Youli, slipped my arm around her waist, and embraced her, her eyes appearing somewhat vacant.

“…You’re wrong.”

I rested my chin against Youli’s fair ribs.

“…Wrong? …About what?”

“You said you don’t have a single friend… That is clearly a ‘lie’ without the slightest basis.”

“…Isn’t your friend right before your eyes?”

“…Even after reincarnation through countless lives… you have a ‘friend’ who can hold you in their arms. What more could you possibly not be content with?”

My voice was somewhat low, yet it resonated with the most exquisite melody of a music box.

“I… I!! …Waaah…”

Suddenly, I felt intermittent dampness against my neck.

A pair of soft hands, just like my own, wrapped around my slender waist, holding me tightly from behind.

This was the first time I had been embraced like this by another… yet the experience wasn’t particularly pleasant.

A sharp pain pulsed from the pointed nails digging into my back. Yet, compared to the agony in the heart of the one inflicting it, this pain was surely worthless, wasn’t it?

“I will never leave you, my… esteemed Class~ Monitor~”