Afternoon has arrived!

Hug the beautiful girl’s thigh, let the beautiful girl take me to show off and fly high!

After showing off, go home and keep hugging the beautiful girl’s thigh, hahaha… haha… sigh…

I opened my eyes and looked around—where was the good-smelling beautiful girl who blocked blades for me and let me shamelessly cling to her thigh?

Wherever I looked, I saw only my Pokémon game.

This mental whiplash wasn’t just a little rough—it was a total crash!

But there’s nothing I can do…

Because I’m the villain.

I’m a transmigrator who recently crossed over into this world and now goes by the name Euclid, doing some “small-time” work—basically being a scammy mystic.

Hmph, since I’m a transmigrator, shouldn’t I at least get some ancient bloodline or a busty master in my starter pack?

Too bad—nope.

I soon realized this world I arrived in is 99% identical to the one from the web novel I wrote before I transmigrated.

If I had any sort of cheat, it’s only that I know almost all the characters’ storylines and final endings.

Hmph! Even without ancient bloodlines or a busty mentor, with the power of knowing the script, I should be able to raise some “affection points” and build myself a sweet harem, right?

Then I found out… as Euclid, I’m nothing but a disposable lackey and scam artist. No matter what I do, my fate is always “death, death, and more death.”

Killed by a female character as a minion, beaten to death by a mob as a con man, crushed by a flower pot, drowned in a latrine…

At that point, only a fool would still be dreaming of building a harem—I needed to figure out how to survive first!

First step: become a “major villain”! In the script, only the protagonist gets to kill off the big bad. Have you ever seen a final boss drown in a toilet?

So I used the script to slither between various evil organizations across the continent, playing the part of a cunning advisor and bootlicker.

Eventually, I built a name for myself as a “heinous,” “notorious” scammer.

No more deaths involving drowning or humiliation for me!

And finally, I found my only hope for survival—the heroine.

Only by finding and clinging tightly to the heroine’s thigh can I avoid my elaborate doom scenes!

But…

It’s been so long—where’s the heroine? Where’s that soft, pale thigh?

Just as I was thinking that…

BANG!

The door was slammed open with brute force, and a girl burst into the evil organization I was hiding in—Iron Flower Group, the largest trafficking gang in the British Empire!

Her silver-white hair flowed behind her, and her pretty face showed no fear—only a confident smile.

She didn’t look like she had walked into a den of thieves but more like a wolf among sheep.

Her stylish and even slightly sexy short outfit just added to her aura.

“I’m a member of the British Empire’s Royal Investigation Squad! I received intel and came to take down the vile scammer Eu—”

“That’s me, that’s me, that’s me!”

After a brief moment of shock, I jumped out right away!

Her cold gaze lingered on me for a second… then looked away.

“I told you—I’m Euclid!?”

Seeing my golden opportunity slip away, I quickly added that line!

Usually, in a situation like this, I would follow the script and run away.

But this time was different.

Because the girl who came in looked exactly like the heroine described in the script—and even in the dream I just had!

She is the definitive heroine of this world!

And she’s my only chance of survival—my life-saving thigh!

“Kefir Mary Sue Von Ao Tian.”

Anyone with that kind of name is definitely the protagonist. There’s no second option.

The girl named Kefir finally looked at me again, with a change in her expression.

“You know me? Hmm, not surprising.”

She examined me carefully and muttered, “The scammer Euclid has always been secretive and sly. Once his identity is discovered, he runs fast. And now he just steps forward like this?”

Of course—because you’re the heroine! My thigh!

I hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain when the Iron Flower gang’s leader, Olga, cut me off.

Can’t really blame him—the heroine’s looks really are top-tier.

“Little beauty, do you even know where you’ve stumbled into? You sure talk tough.”

“Just another human trafficking gang in the empire. If it weren’t to take down this scammer, I wouldn’t even bother dealing with you myself. You’re just unlucky. Stay there. I’ll finish off the scammer first, then deal with your lot.”

Kefir played with her long hair like she was bored—she hadn’t even drawn her sword yet!

If this were a normal female knight or mage or swordswoman, that’d be careless behavior.

And according to the script, she’d be headed straight into trouble.

But for her, this is just “main character confidence”!

You think the main character would lose to a bunch of grunts? No way!

“Heh~ little beauty’s got quite the mouth! Before I did this gig, I was a legit fourth-tier swordsman. Don’t cry when my big boy breaks you!”

“Ugh… Disgusting. I’ll shut that filthy mouth first.”

Olga still thought she was just a reckless girl.

Confident in his own strength, and egged on by his gang’s lewd jeers, he rubbed his hands together and walked toward her.

Typical grunt ending—I didn’t even need the script to know how this would play out.

So I wasn’t about to interfere with that clown’s death. In fact, this was my moment!

“Shut me up? And what are you gonna use, sweetheart? Heh~”

Still mouthing off at the heroine right before getting smacked—this guy really is peak grunt material!

While everyone was distracted, I grabbed a folding chair from the ground.

I was ready to whack him in the back of the head, and then in Kefir’s surprised gaze, dramatically hug her thigh while crying that I’d “turn over a new leaf.”

A perfect play! Gain affection, clear my name, and hug the thigh!

Perfect plan!

But before I even got to smack the guy…

“Scram.”

With a single slap, Kefir smashed Olga’s head with a nasty crack.

He went flying, rolled ten times, and crashed upside down into the wall.

Then… she looked right at me.

I was still holding the folding chair mid-swing.

Our eyes locked. Silence.

“What were you trying to do just now?”

…

“Please, have a seat. I’ll massage your legs.”