The God of Group Projects is Dead

“But that ‘one time’ could happen to us!”

“Exactly. They say ‘words can become reality,’ right?”

These kids still don’t know how the world works.

“Think carefully, everyone. If there’s a chance you’ll get close to them, there’s an equal chance things will go south.”

“Huh?”

“Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to have a high-ranking noble in your group? If they pick a garbage topic, you have to praise it. If they show favoritism to their friends and dump all the work on you, you can’t say a single word of protest.”

“Oh, come on. How ‘garbage’ could a topic really be?”

“Exactly. And if they dump work on us, how much could it really be?”

I stared at the two of them blankly before raising a second finger.

“Second: Never, under any circumstances, be the Group Leader.”

“The Leader?”

“If you ignore my first advice, the high-ranking noble will inevitably become the leader. But if you’re in a group with people of similar status, the story changes. Everyone will try to shove the responsibility onto someone else.”

“It sounds a bit annoying, but don’t you get extra credit for being the leader?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if I were the leader so I could lead the way I want?”

There’s a reason for the saying, ‘Look at the ground before you stretch your legs.’ If someone of similar status starts bossing you around, it’ll just feel pathetic. However, I chose not to say that and simply raised a third finger.

“Even if the others are uncooperative, never go to Professor Oliver.”

“But Professor Oliver said to come to him immediately if there’s a problem with the group project?”

“That’s just something they all say.”

“That’s strange. Professor Oliver seemed like such a nice person.”

Ena and Claire headed back to the dormitory with puzzled faces. As I watched their retreating backs and offered a silent prayer for their souls, a gentle voice drifted from behind me.

“Wow, are you already giving advice to juniors now that you’re a sophomore?”

I turned around. The first things I saw were warm brown hair and eyes that curved downward like a puppy’s, matching the kind voice. The man’s fresh green eyes crinkled into crescents as he smiled.

“That’s impressive, Cecil.”

It was Michael Camellia, my childhood friend and a member of the Swordsmanship Faculty. Perhaps he was on his way back from training, as he was covered in dirt. I reached out to brush the dust off him and asked, “How long have you been standing there?”

“Since you mentioned the third piece of advice. By the way, it seems like your advice didn’t really resonate with the juniors. Aren’t you upset?”

I let out a short laugh. “Let them be. There are some things you can only understand by experiencing them firsthand.”

And a few days later, Ena and Claire returned to ask me seriously:

“Sunbae, do you know how to hit a group member while making it look like an accident?”

“How much does it cost to hire an assassin?”

I turned to Michael, who was sipping coffee next to me.

“See? What did I tell you?”

“Yeah, you were right.”

I raised my hand to call a server and spoke to the juniors. “Watch the timing when a group member walks in and shut the door while pretending you didn’t see them. And use the money you’d spend on an assassin to buy yourselves something delicious instead. Professor Oliver isn’t worth spending a fortune to put a hit on.”

I ordered pancakes for the two of them. They stuffed their mouths with pancakes and groaned.

“I’m sorry, Sunbae. Honestly, I thought one should never use their fists in any situation, but I realized that physical force isn’t the only kind of violence.”

“I finally understand why you punched that guy. Wow, there’s really no hope.”

“From now on, I’m going to actively tell people you aren’t crazy, Sunbae.”

“Sure, thanks.”

After finishing about half the pancakes, Ena, who had calmed down a bit, asked, “Oh, by the way, Sunbae, don’t you have a group project this semester?”

“Nope. I don’t have any group projects this semester.”

Claire’s eyes sparkled. “Whoa, really?”

“Yeah. The classes are difficult and exhausting, but I managed to enroll only in courses where the professors don’t do group projects. My hard work praying at the temple finally paid off.”

The juniors’ eyes filled with envy.

“I’m so jealous.”

“Jealous? Go ahead and be as jealous as you want.”

I stretched my arms wide. “After everything I went through as a freshman, I really didn’t want to do a single group project this semester. I’m so happy. I think I can finally enjoy school with a peaceful mind.”

The very next day, I stared blankly at Professor Berte.

“While reviewing yesterday’s assignments, I felt that the students’ creativity and autonomy are severely lacking. Most of what you submitted was just a transcription of what I taught you. Therefore, from now on, I will be assigning group projects. Please form groups of six and submit the list before the next class begins.”

That night, in the middle of the temple, I was nearly dragged away by priests for screaming that God does not exist.

“There is no God. God is dead. There is no God. God is dead.”

Seeing me repeat the same words with dead eyes, tears welled up in Michael’s eyes.

“Poor Cecil… It hasn’t even been that long since you were happy about escaping hell…”

I’m the one who wants to cry, so why are you crying? I wanted to ask, but only the same words left my lips.

“There is no God. God is dead. There is no God. God is dead. There is no God.”

“Yes, Cecil. Just like you said, there is no God in this world. But can you stop now? We can’t have you branded as a heretic and executed.”

“I don’t care. I’d rather be executed than do another group project.”

Now I have to take a class that is already difficult and has a group project on top of it. I dug my own grave. I patted Michael on the shoulder.

“Even if I’m executed, you have to live well.”

At that, Michael cried out with tears still hanging from his lashes.

“How can I live if you’re dead…!”

Ronia Chloe, who had been watching us, spoke up.

“Just both of you die and get out of my sight.”

I looked at Ronia with questioning eyes. “Why are you here?”

Ronia, wearing a sapphire brooch symbolizing the Magic Faculty, pushed up her glasses with her middle finger and spoke in a sulky tone.

“I was curious why a perfectly normal guy turned into a total wreck overnight. What of it?”

I waved my hand as if shooing away a dog. “Well, now you know. Go on, get lost.”

Michael waved as well. “Bye, Ronia.”

“……..”

How should I kill these two? Ronia’s expression said exactly that. But it couldn’t be helped. Ronia is also a precious friend I made at the academy, but I didn’t want to see her right now.

Because…

“I heard the Magic Faculty doesn’t have group projects!”

Ronia nodded. “Yeah. In the first place, those who don’t want to attend class in the Magic Faculty don’t have to.”

“I’m so jealous! Argh! Argh! Argh!”

“But on the tests, you need a high sc— Hey, you’re not listening to me.”

“Sorry, Cecil isn’t in his right mind right now.”

“I’m literally dying of envy! You’re the only one here without a group project!”

I pointed at Michael, who wore a ruby brooch symbolizing the Swordsmanship Faculty.

“Even Michael has a group project!”

“What? The Swordsmanship Faculty has group projects too?”

“In Swordsmanship, we have to form groups and go out to subjugate monsters once a year.”

“Wow, that sounds annoying.”

“It is a bit annoying.”

While the two of them conversed, I collapsed back onto the bed and cried tears of blood.

Truly, there is no God. If only I had been born with massive mana like Ronia, I wouldn’t have to deal with group projects. As I was punching my pillow in frustration, Ronia reminded me of the cruel reality once again.

“So, do you just form a group and do the assignment?”

“…No. Every class, one group takes a turn to give a presentation.”

Ronia’s eyes widened. “Every class? Then when does the professor teach?”

“It means we have to create the class materials and lead the lesson through the presentation.”

Ronia couldn’t help but ask seriously, “Shouldn’t that professor’s salary be confiscated?”

“…Exactly my point.”

Ah, I really don’t know what to do. I sprawled out on the bed. Ronia sat in the chair in front of the bed and asked:

“So, what are you really going to do? After the stunt you pulled in your freshman year, I doubt anyone wants to be in a group with you.”

“…”

“That professor really sucks. He should have at least assigned the groups. What is someone with no friends like you supposed to do?”

“…I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse, but there are exactly thirty students in that class. One group has to take me.”

“Phew, good luck.”

I stared at the ceiling and muttered, “Should I drop out?”

“Calm down, you idiot.”

“If you drop out, I’ll drop out too.”

“You calm down too, you bigger idiot than Cecil.”

Time passed, and it was time for Professor Berte’s class again.

“I believe I told you to form groups of six and submit the list by today… but one person is missing.”

Professor Berte said as he scanned the list.

“Anyone who hasn’t found a group yet, please raise your hand.”

I had said I’d rather be executed than do a group project, but I didn’t want a public execution like this. I closed my eyes tight and raised my hand.

“Student’s name?”

“…It’s Cecil Allegro.”

As soon as I said my name, the students began to glance at me and whisper among themselves.

“Is there anyone who wants to be in a group with Cecil?”

Professor, please…! Please stop! However, the professor did not stop.

“Is there really no one? Then I’ll decide as I please.”

The professor is truly too much. I hung my head in shame. But he didn’t stop there.

“Group 3 only has five people, so take this student.”

“Yes.”

“And since Student Cecil seems quite shy, please take good care of him. Understood?”

No one replied to those words. I was always taught to respect my elders, but I realized I could never respect this man. After publicly executing a student and then burying them deep underground in an instant, Professor Berte spoke.

“Today, please sit with your groups, introduce yourselves, and decide on a project topic. You may refer to the textbook’s table of contents for topics.”