The Past and Change

“No, something’s definitely wrong.”

Mana Ochi examined herself carefully and confirmed she had truly become Yurina Shizuki.
What’s more, she had gone back over a month in time.

The Shizuki family hadn’t yet moved into the apartment next to hers.
Naturally, the incident where she caused the boy’s death hadn’t happened either.

But she wasn’t happy about it at all.

“There’s no way the world would be this kind to me… I must be dreaming.”

She tried to find a way to wake up from this supposed dream but failed.
The world felt so real.

A wave of dizziness and nausea hit her, and she rushed to the bathroom, vomiting violently.

“I can’t keep going like this.”

Once her stomach stopped convulsing, she returned to the room, grabbed Yurina’s wallet, and ran out without even changing clothes.
“Sis, are you going out…?”

A faint voice called from behind, but she didn’t have time to respond.

Under the strange gazes of passersby, she found the train station and took a train to her own apartment.

As expected, the house meant for the Shizuki family was still empty.
But what she didn’t expect was that her own apartment was completely vacant too.

“What’s going on? That doesn’t make sense. I’ve been living here for half a year…”

She collapsed to the floor in panic, the situation beyond her comprehension.

She could accept soul-swapping or time travel, but this was clearly not the past she knew.
Most importantly, she couldn’t find her original self to switch bodies back.

She tried calling her workplace, but they said there was no employee named Takuro Ochi.

She tried calling home, but the number was disconnected.
It was as if her original self had vanished from the world.

The sky was a bleak gray, and soon a torrential downpour began.
She wandered aimlessly through the streets, fear gripping her in this strange yet real world.

“Shizuki-san?”

A clear voice rang out, and she froze in place.
The voice wasn’t overly familiar, but it left a deep impression on her.

“It really is Shizuki-san. Are you okay?”

The boy she had supposedly killed approached her kindly, holding an umbrella.
The image of blood and flesh scattering flashed before her eyes.

“Stay away!”

She screamed hysterically.

Realizing her reaction was too extreme, she wanted to explain but didn’t know what to say.
She turned and ran.

To her relief, the boy didn’t chase after her.
But the thought of his gentle face made her nauseous again.

She was a murderer, a complete scumbag.
Why could he still show such an expression? Why did he save her?

She screamed silently, but no divine lightning came to punish her.
The rain pelted her harshly, yet it caused no harm, let alone washed away her sins.

“God, what do you want from me?”

She wandered aimlessly until a wave of exhaustion hit her.
The world spun, and her consciousness faded.

“You don’t deserve to inherit the Ochi family!”
Yes, I truly don’t.

“You only bring sadness and misfortune to others, you harbinger of disaster!”
Yes, I’m the embodiment of calamity.

“Your greatest mistake is existing in this world!”
Yes, I shouldn’t exist at all.

When Mana woke again, she was in a hospital.
Seeing her stir, Ryoko Shizuki rushed over, crying and hugging her tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Yurina. It’s Mom’s fault. Please don’t do anything foolish!”

Her behavior—wandering the streets in pajamas and collapsing—had been mistaken for a suicide attempt.
Seeing Ryoko’s tear-streaked face, Mana felt another wave of nausea but held it back, forcing a guilty expression.

“Mom, I’m sorry… I won’t do this again.” Halfway through, she switched to a feminine pronoun.

When she collapsed, besides realizing how frail a girl’s body was, she understood one thing clearly.
She was now Yurina Shizuki.

No matter how much she loathed herself, she couldn’t misuse this body or let its loved ones worry.
Yes, only now did she shamefully want to atone for her mistakes, to redeem herself.

She was just that kind of despicable, disgusting scumbag, a murderer.
Someone like her could die a thousand times, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
But she couldn’t die yet.

“Sorry.”

But don’t worry, this won’t last long.
She would find the real Yurina Shizuki and return her body.

“Mom, I’m really fine now. You don’t need to worry so much.”

After the doctor left, learning she was only suffering from overexertion and could be discharged after rest, Mana flashed a bright smile—or so she thought.
Perhaps startled by her daughter’s odd expression, Ryoko hesitated before forcing a strained smile.

“Yurina, just rest well. Don’t worry about anything else.”

“No, Mom, listen to me…”

Ryoko clearly wanted her daughter to rest until the next day while she kept watch, but Mana couldn’t allow that.
In her memories, Ryoko worked nearly seven days a week, cooked dinner at night, and prepared bentos for her two daughters in the morning.

It was exhausting.

Mana didn’t know how vile her past self was to harm such a struggling family, but now, she didn’t want to burden this single mother any further, even if she had no right to say so…

Perhaps sensing her daughter’s intentions, Ryoko looked surprised and pleased, not refusing.
After completing the paperwork, they left the hospital.

At first, things were fine, but after walking a bit, Mana felt her body grow heavy.
Ryoko gently supported her.

“Mom, I’m okay,” Mana said hurriedly.

“I know. Mom’s just a little worried.”

Ryoko spoke cautiously, as if not wanting to expose her daughter’s attempt to act tough.
But what Ryoko didn’t know was the guilt weighing on Mana’s heart.

Back home, seeing Ryoko immediately start cooking, Mana’s mood grew heavier.
When her body felt less tired, she went to the kitchen.

“Mom, is there anything I can help with?”

“No need, Yurina. Just rest. Mom will have it ready soon.”

Despite the words, Mana found tasks she could handle. Having lived alone, she was capable of basic cooking.
Ryoko was stunned, watching her daughter voluntarily help and skillfully wield a knife.

“Yurina, when did you get so good at cooking?”

Mana’s movements froze.

Huh?

Was Yurina not good at cooking?

In her memories, Yurina Shizuki was a lively, kind, and considerate girl. Given how hard Ryoko worked, such a girl should naturally excel in the kitchen…

Realizing the gap between her memories and reality, Mana panicked but quickly calmed herself. She turned with a proud smile.

“I worked hard in home economics class.”
Rather than pretending she couldn’t cook, she decided to stick with the lie.
“Um, Mom… Can I keep helping like this from now on?”

Ryoko stared at her daughter as if she didn’t recognize her, then quietly turned back to the cooking, her tone slightly cold.

“Yurina, set the table. I’ll handle the rest.”

Mana gave a bitter smile, silently carrying the dishes out.
Ah, she messed up.

It made sense. Ryoko’s husband was long gone, leaving her to support the family alone.
Finding work as a former housewife was tough, and with relatives busy with their own lives, she worked tirelessly to barely make ends meet.

For her daughter to then attempt suicide—anyone would feel resentment.
And Mana wasn’t even the real Yurina. She didn’t know how to comfort Ryoko and might have even upset her further…

What a failure. Even in a new identity, she was still useless.

It was all her fault, driven by selfish desires.
A vile criminal like her deserved to be forsaken by the world.

Plop—

Tears fell uncontrollably.
Hearing her daughter offer to share her burdens, Ryoko couldn’t hold back anymore.

Three years ago, her husband passed away, and the family’s burdens fell squarely on her.
Finding work as a full-time housewife was incredibly hard.

With relatives living their own lives, she juggled caring for her two daughters while working desperately, barely achieving financial stability before their savings ran out.

But as the girls grew, so did the troubles and pressures. She was suffocating.

When she heard her daughter had attempted suicide, she nearly broke down.
Before her daughter woke, she thought countless times about ending it all.

Fortunately, her relationship with her daughter hadn’t reached its end.

Her daughter had suddenly become sensible, considerate—perhaps only a fleeting impulse, perhaps out of pity for her tears.
But to Ryoko, all her past struggles and sacrifices felt rewarded.

As a mother, Ryoko’s desires were so small and humble.
“Yurina’s grown up…”

Watching her daughter carry the dishes with a tired body, Ryoko felt both relief and heartache.

Knowing her daughter’s strong pride, she held back her words of praise.
But she believed this was surely a good beginning.