“That, that, actually I… I like you!” Yao Xinchang exclaimed loudly, her voice ringing out.
My first reaction was to glance at my phone. It was May 4, 2016, so clearly not April Fool’s Day.
My second reaction was to turn around, checking if anyone else was passing by the flowerbed.
“Hmm… You actually want me to help you practice confessing, right? Or perhaps you want me to convey this message for you?”
“The former is fine, but for the latter, I personally think your success rate would be higher if you confessed yourself. After all, a normal guy wouldn’t want to be confessed to by another man, would he?” I replied calmly.
“Huh?” Yao Xinchang stared blankly, rooted to the spot, her composure ruffled by the breeze.
“Well then, if there’s nothing else, I’ll be going now. Don’t let my appearance fool you; I’m actually quite busy,” I said, waving goodbye.
“Wait, wait a minute!” Yao Xinchang finally snapped back to reality. In her haste, she grabbed my collar directly. “I-I’m not practicing, nor do I want to relay a message! I genuinely like you, and I want to be your girlfriend!”
“Me?” I pointed to my nose. “Me? Luo Tianchen?”
“Um, I don’t think you need to speak English here…”
“Is there anyone else named Luo Tianchen in our school?”
“No, it’s just you!” Yao Xinchang exclaimed.
“You’re really not being forced by anyone? You genuinely like me, from the bottom of your heart? Swear to the heavens?”
“I swear to the heavens, I’m not being forced! I genuinely like you from the bottom of my heart, Luo Tianchen!”
After three minutes of deep contemplation, I arrived at a conclusion. It seemed I had genuinely been confessed to.
“So why did it take you three minutes to ponder?!” Bingying finally couldn’t help but interject, having heard this much. “A normal person would reach a conclusion in just one second! How long *is* your thought process, anyway?”
The time was 6 AM on May 5, 2016. The location was the empty student council room.
Bingying, the class president, had received a public complaint. She listened to my “official testimony” with a solemn expression.
Beside her, Yang Mingzhi sat, engrossed in his phone, utterly indifferent.
First, an introduction: my name is Luo Tianchen, male, 18 years old, born on June 17, 1998. My hobbies include women.
I have a younger sister, a house, and both my parents are busy. My single status equals my age. I have an ordinary appearance, above-average grades, and low athletic ability, the type who gets winded after three steps.
Influenced by my sister, I’m also half a shut-in. My only highlight, which is also a tragic point, is having a tall, rich, and handsome best friend.
He is dashing and excellent in both character and academics. With such a close friend, girls naturally wouldn’t focus their attention on me when I’m with him.
If they do, it’s certainly because they hope to extract information about Yang Mingzhi from me or have me deliver letters for them. I’m naturally well aware of this.
I actively play the role of a ‘human mailbox,’ occasionally earning some pocket money from girls coveting my best friend. I find some enjoyment in this arrangement.
If it had been an ordinary girl, that would be one thing. However, the person who confessed was Yao Xinchang, one of Xingjiang Academy’s top ten beauties.
Due to her petite, ‘loli’ figure, the boys in class always jokingly called her ‘Little Bean.’ Of course, this was only ever done in private.
Otherwise, her ardent admirers, who regarded her as a mascot, would undoubtedly gang up and beat them. Her personality could be described as either honest or timid.
She always seemed on the verge of tears, yet, surprisingly, no one disliked her. Perhaps she triggered the latent maternal instincts within others.
For a beauty of her caliber to confess to an ordinary person like me, it felt like a conspiracy no matter how I looked at it.
“How utterly lacking in self-confidence are you?!” Bingying exclaimed. “Fine, I’ll show you how a normal person would react. Hey, Yang Mingzhi, stop chatting with your girl for a moment. Luo Tianchen just got confessed to by a girl, what do you think… Hey, what’s with that face, like your parents just died? Are you two conspiring to mess with me?”
“Never mind,” Bingying sighed deeply. “So, this is why other students reported seeing you make Little Bean cry yesterday evening, isn’t it? Why did she run off looking so scared afterward? Did you reject her?”
“No, you know I’ve never encountered anything like this before. So, I referenced a certain someone’s method from my memories…”
“Wait, the ‘certain someone’ you’re talking about… don’t tell me it’s Yang Mingzhi?” Bingying interrupted him, asking nervously.
“…And then I told her: ‘Alright, let’s hurry to a hotel and get a room.’ She suddenly turned beet red and ran off.”
“Alright, I finally understand.” Bingying sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead. She glared fiercely at Yang Mingzhi, who was still engrossed in a lively chat with his girl. “Anyway, it’s all this guy’s fault.”
“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not the world, don’t always pin the blame on me.” Yang Mingzhi retorted with a look that clearly said, ‘What the hell do I care?’
“…Never mind. Let’s just consider what happened before water under the bridge. But you *must* remember to call her afterward and apologize.”
“Huh? Why?”
“No ‘why’! Just do as I say!”
“Oh.” Under Bingying’s formidable aura, I obediently yielded.
“Um… afterward, what do you plan to do?”
“What?” I didn’t understand.
“I mean, about Yao Xinchang’s confession!”
“Oh, right.”
“‘Oh, right’?! What does that mean? Are you even taking this seriously?”
“Regarding that, I’ll probably reject her.”
“Ah, really…? Ah, no, I mean, why?”
“Because I feel I’m not good enough for her,” I said earnestly. “If she were with someone like me, she would surely be unhappy.”
“There you go again with these jokes. You really need to have more confidence,” Bingying said with a wry smile.
‘No, I’m not joking.’
‘If she were with me, she would definitely become unhappy.’
‘Only I, of all people, am not qualified to be with anyone.’
‘It was precisely for this reason that I chose to be friends with Yang Mingzhi. That way, girls’ attention would naturally fall on him instead of me.’
‘While I don’t know what happened this time, it’s usually very effective. Thanks to him, I’ve managed to spend these past three years in peace.’