‘The Weight of a Dead Name’

Whirrr.

Feeling the ground vibrating, Hanna knit her brows and slowly lifted her heavy eyelids.

The world captured within her blurry vision was lying sideways. No, it was she who was lying down.

The moment she realized she was collapsed on the cold floor of an unfamiliar room, Hanna remembered being attacked by someone and losing consciousness, prompting her to spring up into a sitting position.

Her head throbbed as if it would split open, but she gritted her teeth and looked around for the source of the ringing vibration.

Crawling on her knees, she rummaged through Yeji’s bag, which had been tossed into a corner, and found the cell phone.

The fact that her luggage and the phone were intact meant that, at the very least, she hadn’t been caught by Nam Juyeol.

If so, could this call be from Yeji?

[Yeji…!]

The moment Hanna hurriedly pressed the call button and brought it to her ear, a sharp scream struck her.

[-You fcking btch, where the f*ck are you right now?!]

The caller she checked a beat late was none other than Nam Juyeol. As Hanna shut her lips tight instead of answering, his low voice continued.

[-Kim Hanna died last night. If you want to give her a proper f*cking funeral, get your *ss over here right now.]

What he delivered to Seo Yeji was, unexpectedly, the news of Kim Hanna’s—her own—death.

-This station is Busan Station, Busan Station. The doors are on your left.

The announcement echoing in her ears abruptly cut off her flashback, and an unfamiliar landscape passed before Hanna’s eyes.

Busan Station.

The moment the train entered the platform, impatient people began to stand up from their seats one by one, but Hanna’s eyes remained fixed out the window.

I really ended up all the way here…

Only after the train came to a complete stop did Hanna truly realize she had fled, and she stood up while forcing down her surging emotions.

Clutching Yeji’s bag tight, she quickly blended into the crowd pouring out of the train.

Just this morning, after hanging up on Nam Juyeol in sheer panic, Hanna had rushed to the annex of Daehan Hospital, which he had specified in a text message.

She was about to head down to the basement where the mortuary was located, but she spotted Juyeol coming up from below and hid behind an empty information desk. At that moment, the gruff voice of Jang Rung, one of Nam Juyeol’s henchmen, carried over.

[Seeing how the gas valve was cut, it’s got to be suicide. It’s a relief it blew up before we went up, otherwise even you would have been in deep sh*t, Boss. They say the corpse was so charred black that the face is completely unrecognizable.]

At the mention of a corpse, Hanna slapped her hand over her own mouth. While she froze, Juyeol, who had walked all the way up the stairs, clutched his flank and stopped his leather shoes.

[What about Representative Cho?]

[He went down early this morning. He muttered about how waiting all night made his d*ck shrivel, but I explained the situation well and he understood.]

Click, click. Hearing the sound of a lighter wheel flicking nearby, Hanna pressed her hand harder against her mouth and even swallowed her breath.

He tried a few more times, but the flame apparently wouldn’t catch, and Juyeol slammed the lighter onto the floor.

Seeing the promotional lighter stamped with slide right next to the desk, Hanna’s eyelids trembled violently.

That godf*cking Yale was nothing short of a shackle.

If Juyeol stepped closer to pick up the lighter, she would be discovered instantly.

[What about Seo Yeji? Still no contact?]

[Yeah, not yet. Should I deploy the boys to look for her?]

After a brief silence, Juyeol nervously brushed back the bangs falling over his forehead and spoke.

[She’s a b*tch who will crawl back anyway once the drugs wear off. Don’t make a scene and just leave her be for now.]

Fortunately, Juyeol walked away, leaving the discarded lighter behind. Only when his heavy footsteps could no longer be heard did Hanna release her held breath.

[Ha… No, it can’t be… There’s no way…]

Then, with a half-vacant face, she frantically began to dig through Yeji’s bag.

Suicide. A corpse charred beyond recognition. The conversation those two left behind kept bringing ominous thoughts to her mind.

A sinister premonition that the corpse everyone believed to be Kim Hanna might actually be Yeji kept forcing its way into Hanna’s head, no matter how much she tried to push and shove it away.

It’s not true, you said you would come. You said you had a corner to rely on… That’s what you said, Seo Yeji.

Unable to find the phone inside the cluttered bag, Hanna stopped as she widened the opening even further.

A white envelope had suddenly caught her eye. Though she didn’t know why, a chill ran down her spine, and Hanna picked up the envelope with a trembling hand. On the back of the flipped envelope, two distinct words were scribbled in bright red lipstick.

“Hey, watch where the f*ck you’re going!”

“I-I’m sorry.”

Before she knew it, Hanna, who had left the station and was crossing a crosswalk, bumped shoulders with a person coming from the opposite direction because she hadn’t been looking ahead. At the same time, the fragmented memory shattered, leaving behind a sharp headache.

Holding her throbbing forehead, Hanna walked toward the taxi stand but suddenly stopped in front of an alley.

As if possessed by something, she walked straight into a soup restaurant right in front of her and ordered a bowl of pork rice soup.

It wasn’t because she was hungry. It was simply because this restaurant was the very one Yeji had mentioned visiting the last time she came down to Busan.

She had grumbled that for a city famous for its rice soup, the dish back then had been so flavorless with the red seasoning paste dissolving into a bland broth.

Scooping up a spoonful and putting it into her mouth, it was exactly as described. The tasteless soup caused a hollow laugh to slip through Hanna’s teeth.

‘Are you seriously crying right now?’

At that moment, she suddenly felt as if she could hear Yeji’s voice.

“Ugh…”

Hanna stopped the spoon right before her lips. While she forced down the sob threatening to burst out along with the hot broth, the last will of that godfcking btch, Seo Yeji, flashed through her mind.

[I suppose you’d think this b*tch is truly beyond saving, dying anyway after you barely managed to save her.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Hanna.

But even after owing you my life multiple times, I still want to die… That’s why I’m writing this will. Just in case I really die next time.

I don’t have any particular inheritance or final words to leave behind, but I figured I had something to give to you.]

Feeling as though she couldn’t swallow another spoonful through her constricted throat, Hanna put down her utensils.

[Hanna, if I die, live under my name.]

Hanna, draped in Yeji’s coat and holding her bag, walked toward the counter, and the server rushed out.

“That’ll be eight thousand won.”

Hanna dug through her messy bag while biting down hard on her trembling lips.

[Unlike me, who always wanted to die, you always wanted to live. Go somewhere far away and live a new life as Seo Yeji.]

Finding Yeji’s red long wallet, Hanna handed a ten-thousand-won bill from the thick stack of cash to the server and practically fled the restaurant.

Quickly wiping the tears streaming down her cheeks with the back of her hand, she walked briskly toward the nearby taxi stand, but Yeji’s voice relentlessly pursued her.

[Even though I lived like absolute trash, I don’t have any debts that can’t be repaid in a lifetime like Kim Hanna does, you know? I do have a criminal record, but even if I disappear tomorrow, there’s no one who would look for me.

Isn’t that what’s more important to you? You said you just wanted to live quietly. You said that was your dream.

So you take it. My name.]

Hanna hurriedly squeezed her body into a parked taxi. The driver, who had jolted slightly in surprise, quickly offered a kind smile and asked.

“Welcome. Where can I take you?”

“Songjeong Beach, please.”

As the car started, Hanna opened Yeji’s long wallet once more.

[Don’t read too much into the name of a dead b*tch anyway. Just think of it as the price of my life and live like that. I’ll think of this as fully repaying my debt to you, so I can go peacefully.]

She thought she had misseen it when paying the bill… Pulling out the ID slotted inside the wallet to check it again, tears finally overflowed uncontrollably from Hanna’s eyes.

“Ugh, uuugh…”

“Ah, young lady, w-what’s wrong? Are you alright?”

As she broke down sobbing loudly, the flustered driver didn’t know what to do. But Hanna couldn’t hear a thing.

Because of that crazy b*tch, Seo Yeji.

Seeing that the ID bearing her name and resident registration number had its photo replaced with Hanna’s own, she realized that Yeji might have been preparing for this death thoroughly for a very long time.

[You have to live well, Hanna. You must…]

Did Seo Yeji, who had intended to die eventually, view last night as an opportunity…?

Did she think providing her name like this would make her happy? You wicked btch, you godfcking b*tch…

The final lingering attachment that Yeji couldn’t bear to discard and left at the very end of the text heavily crushed Hanna’s heart.

[Ah, if you have the time while living your life, please tell my older brother that I’m dead. That b*stard probably won’t care to know, but he’s still my only family…]