Chapter 2: There Must Be a Reason for You to Act This Way

Hello, I’m a 20-something office worker who’s just about to shed the “fresh out of college” vibe… or not.

I agonized, and agonized, and agonized again before sending in this story. It feels too personal and embarrassing to share with others.

But then again, aren’t all love stories like that? Personal and embarrassing.

So, I’m taking the plunge and leaving this story here. On Ji Sun-woo’s Music Box, the only reason I still have the radio app on my phone.

I had a lover… No, not “have,” but “had.” We broke up a few months ago, so I should say “had.” Let’s call that person A for now.

I first met A right after I got a job at the company…

“What are you writing so intently? Did you get a boyfriend?”

“Huh?”

My gaze, which had been fixed on my phone screen, turned upward at the voice calling me.

“Why else? You were pounding away like you were going to shatter the screen. I thought you’d found a new lover.”

“I’m not that sociable.”

The words coming from the mouth of the guy who was busy stuffing his face with meat, a guy who I couldn’t decide if he was my friend or my enemy, were absurd.

“And what boyfriend? You wanna die?”

“What’s wrong with it? What’s so weird about a woman having a boyfriend?”

Well, yeah, typically love happens between a man and a woman.

Of course, there’s no such thing as “always” in the world, and love can happen between men and men, women and women, but why else would there be a word like “sexual minority?”

I’m a clearly heterosexual person, and right now, I’m a woman. And it’s perfectly natural for a heterosexual woman to fall in love with a man… but.

“You know, it pisses me off when you talk like that, knowing everything you do.”

“For a literature major, your word choice is very vulgar, my friend.”

“…..”

Should I just punch him once? Just enough for a 12-week injury.

“I’m kidding, you idiot. Do you think I, who’s been with you since elementary school, wouldn’t know your sexual identity?”

“The way you say it makes it sound really weird…”

It’s already been over 15 years since this guy and I have known each other. This jerk, who I’ve known for more than half my life, knows where my hometown is, which schools I went to, everything.

From elementary school to high school, I spent a total of 12 years with this guy. And the last 6 of those years were at an all-boys middle and high school.

Yeah, all-boys middle and high school. A place where women, except for teachers or other staff, can’t enter as students.

I’ll say it again, I’m a woman. “Right now.”

“Just what the hell do you have to do to turn into a woman overnight?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be like this…”

Just three months ago, I was a man. Biologically and socially.

“Come to think of it, Seok-hwan said he wanted to meet up sometime.”

“How can I meet him looking like this…”

But now I’ve become a woman. Biologically, at least, even if not socially.

XY chromosomes. An odd number for the first digit of my resident registration number. I, who was a nationally certified man who even served in the military, have now become an involuntary transgender person, a female high school student who’s a military veteran.

“Did you tell your parents?”

“….”

“You didn’t, did you.”

Well, I told them, but I can’t guarantee that the truth was properly conveyed.

If you heard a strange woman’s voice over the phone, and your dad, who thought his son would live as a solo forever, asked to speak to his son with a voice full of joy because he thought his son had found a partner… I wonder what you’d think. This guy probably doesn’t know. No one knows.

“Anyway, it’s amazing you kept your job?”

“Are you surprised?”

“Of course I’m surprised. One day, a short, stocky girl shows up with the employee ID of that tall, handsome hunk who left work perfectly fine yesterday, and claims to be that hunk? If I were them, I would have thought you were crazy and kicked you out.”

Becoming a woman overnight was one thing, but I couldn’t become unemployed because of it, so I desperately ran around trying to prove myself.

I went back and forth between the hospital and the city hall, stamped my seal dozens of times, and had my blood drawn dozens of times.

Fortunately, unlike my appearance, which had been completely overhauled to the point where you couldn’t recognize my previous self, my fingerprints and DNA were the same, so I was able to prove that I was me… but.

“…Would it have been easier to just quit and find something else?”

Maybe it would have been better to cut ties completely at that opportunity.

“Why? I heard your company pays well. Shouldn’t you be happy about it?”

“There’s… something like that.”

If I had, I wouldn’t be racking my brain alone in this difficult situation.

“It’s just a little… difficult, Jin-woo. Human relationships… are too difficult for me.”

“….”

Was it because my face looked pathetic? Jin-woo opened his mouth with a serious expression, unlike usual.

“You’re such an outcast.”

“…I can’t take it. I’m going to beat you up a little today.”

Seriously, he’s no help at all.

――

Whether it’s a game or a song, it’s an immutable truth that the moment you get paid for something you used to love, the moment it becomes a job instead of a hobby, your fondness for it plummets.

I was definitely happy when I was working hard on my portfolio, so why does my step feel so heavy now?

…Come to think of it, it might just be because it’s Monday.

Hating to go to work is the instinct of every office worker. Especially if that day is Monday.

I’m no exception. No matter how positively I try to live my life, the first thing I can’t accept positively is accidents, and the second is going to work on Monday.

But the reason I dread going to work, especially on Mondays, isn’t just because of the aversion to work that other office workers commonly have.

“You’re here early. Even earlier than usual.”

“Good morning… HIC!?”

A person I’m reluctant to face. A person with a long-standing connection.

Who would want to go to a place where that person is waiting for them from the morning?

“G, good morning, Team Leader…”

“Yes, good morning, Han-byeol.”

Cha Hye-won.

The person who took over as the main scenario director for the game our department is in charge of after the previous person left, and my direct superior.

“The weather is… nice. The temperature is moderately cool…”

“I feel a little cold, though. Come to think of it, you weren’t as sensitive to the cold before, Han-byeol.”

“I, is that so? Haha…”

And the person I once loved, and the person who dumped me.

“…..”

It’s not something to be proud of, but I’ve often been told that I’m friendly.

That’s because, regardless of my introverted nature, I’ve always tried to smile and appear kind and friendly to others.

“Don’t just stand there blankly, sit down. You must be tired from coming to work so early in the morning.”

“Yes, yes…”

But in front of this person, I can’t maintain that smile, that natural smile.

An awkward and uncomfortable heart, a reluctant smile that reveals itself as it is. That forced smile was reflected in her eyes.

“I heard you’re going to be on the 4th anniversary live broadcast… yourself…”

“Yes, I have to fill the empty spots of the people who left. And the last broadcast’s evaluation was bad.”

Even so, she didn’t show it.

…I wish she didn’t care at all.

The old Cha Hye-won was a truly icy person.

A person who strictly adhered to the manual, liked people leaving, and had very poor communication skills. A person who was very good at her job but had no popularity.

A cruel supervisor who was so stingy with praise that it was difficult to even hear the words “good job,” but conversely, when pointing out mistakes or errors, she would grind your mentality into powder without raising her voice once.

In fact, that personality hasn’t changed even now. The brutal method of grinding both herself and her subordinates until they become rags, the near-communication disorder, the stubbornness, all the same.

She’s still stingy with praise, and her skills in shredding people’s minds like a threshing machine haven’t died.

“…”

That’s why it’s even more uncomfortable. Because I know she hasn’t changed.

You’re here early. Even earlier than usual.

The Cha Hye-won I know doesn’t greet her subordinates first.

Yes, good morning, Han-byeol.

She also doesn’t answer her subordinates’ greetings with sentences, only short answers.

I feel a little cold, though. Come to think of it, you weren’t as sensitive to the cold before, Han-byeol.

In the past, she wouldn’t have even responded to my words, but would have scolded me to work.

Don’t just stand there blankly, sit down. You must be tired from coming to work so early in the morning.

She’s not just telling me to sit down, but she’s worried about me, that woman?

“….”

If she had shown this consideration before we broke up, I would have thought that she still had some affection left.

But no. Even when I was having a relationship with her that didn’t even feel like a relationship, she maintained a very rigid and business-like attitude regarding work, which was normal according to Cha Hye-won’s standards.

If she had shown the same softened attitude to everyone, not just me, I would have thought that she was belatedly learning how to comfort her subordinates as she gained experience.

But no. Cha Hye-won is still a terrible boss to other employees.

So why, only to me?

Why is it that the person who handled work without any personal feelings while we were dating is now showing that subtly warm attitude, long after we broke up?

“Come to think of it, what’s your schedule like for lunch today?”

“I don’t have any plans… I guess..?”

There must be a reason why she’s doing this.

…Is this some kind of new harassment?