A Nighttime Exploration

Chloe’s innocent yet eerie smile, coupled with her ‘shush’ gesture, seared into my mind like a cold brand. The image lingered, refusing to fade.

I spent the entire afternoon confined to my study, yet not a single word registered in my mind.

The Book of the Nameless lay quietly within the drawer, exuding an aura that was both alluring and perilous.

Yet, I lacked even the courage to retrieve it.

I knew that every action, every movement, might be observed by those violet, glass-bead eyes.

My dorm room was no longer my sanctuary, my castle.

Instead, it had transformed into a glass fishbowl, and I, a mere goldfish, was trapped within for her amusement.

Every struggle, every pretense, my weariness and vulnerability—all became an amusing drama in her eyes.

This sensation was more terrifying than being confronted by Beatrix or ensnared by Elinor. It was utterly bone-chilling.

It was a threat utterly unpredictable and impossible to defend against.

The night deepened around me.

Anna brought my dinner, then silently retreated from the room.

I had little appetite, consuming only a few bites mechanically before setting down my cutlery.

Outside my window, the dark crimson moon ascended, bathing the entire courtyard in its cool, ethereal glow.

I could not afford to remain passive any longer.

A passive approach would only ensnare me further in this mire.

Ella’s unexpected closeness, Beatrix’s growing unease, Elinor’s calculated proposition, and Chloe’s unsettling gaze…

This intricate web of relationships was constricting around me, pulling me tighter with each turn.

I had to seize the initiative.

At the very least, one crucial matter demanded clarification…

What exactly was this power within me, this force known as Chaos?

And to what destiny would it lead me?

The sole answer lay within that locked drawer.

I rose, approached the desk, and with a deep breath, pulled open the drawer.

The Book of the Nameless rested there, as if it had been patiently awaiting my return.

I carefully took it into my hands.

This time, it emitted no violent aura, merely resting in my palm like any weighty, ancient tome.

I settled back into my chair and opened the book.

The twisted, ancient characters, seemingly alive, once again caught my gaze.

Closing my eyes, I emulated my actions from the secret room that morning. I no longer attempted to read, but instead submerged my consciousness into the abyssal sea of magic within me.

Then… I sent forth a request to connect with the book in my hands.

This time, the connection was far smoother than the last.

Almost the instant the thought formed, a gentle yet irresistible force drew my consciousness into a peculiar space.

This was no longer my own personal sea of magic.

This was a realm of…

…a more vast and ancient void.

There was no up or down, no left or right, no concept of time or space.

Only pure, eternal nothingness existed.

In the very center of that void, countless memory fragments shimmered and floated, like distant stars.

I understood then.

This was the interior of The Book of the Nameless.

It was the mental realm of the Firstborn Child of Chaos.

I cautiously extended my hand, reaching for the fragment closest to me.

The instant my fingers brushed it, a colossal, yet surprisingly coherent, stream of information surged into my mind.

[…I walk upon the earth, and all things bow before me. Light names me the End; darkness names me the Betrayer. Foolish. I am neither the End, nor the Betrayer. I am merely… ‘Existence’ itself.]

The scene shifted abruptly.

I beheld a solitary, towering figure, his face obscured, draped in a black cloak.

Merely by his presence, the space around him twisted and warped.

Mighty dragons humbly lowered their heads before him, legendary elven empires presented their most precious treasures, and human empires offered him their crowns…

Yet, he appeared utterly indifferent to it all.

From his very being, emanated a profound…

…loneliness, identical to the bone-deep solitude I had sensed in the Firstborn Child of Chaos’s ravings earlier that day.

[…Power is a curse. It severs me from the world. None can meet my gaze, none can walk beside me. All that I touch returns to ‘nothingness’.]

The vision shifted once more.

I watched him extend a hand, intending to brush a beautiful white flower blooming precariously on a cliff edge.

Yet, the instant his fingertip neared its delicate petals, the flower rapidly withered and disintegrated…

…ultimately dissolving into the finest dust, scattering into the wind.

His hand remained suspended in the air, for a long, agonizing moment.

An immense sorrow, spanning countless eons, struck savagely at my heart.

I felt as though I could truly empathize with him.

The eternal paradox and agony of longing to touch, yet fearing to harm; of yearning for closeness, yet being compelled to remain distant.

Was this, then, the destiny of a Child of Chaos?

No… that wasn’t right.

A thought, like a bolt of lightning, pierced the chaos in my mind.

No!

‘I… I am not like this!’

In the hallway, I had steadied Ella’s book, and it had not vanished.

In my dorm, I had eaten cookies baked by Anna and Ella, and they had not crumbled into dust.

I had even…

…touched Elinor’s hair as she gathered it for me, and brushed Beatrix’s shoulder, rigid with shock…

None of them had vanished!

‘Why?’

‘Why, as fellow Children of Chaos, were he and I so vastly different?’

The instant I plunged into this profound confusion, the entire void space began to churn violently.

It seemed my very question had brushed against some fundamental taboo.

Countless memory fragments began to spin and collide with frantic abandon!

[…The chains… they must be severed…]

[…The world requires correction…]

[…Oh, next of our kind… should you find my message… do not repeat my mistakes…]

[…Find… the anchor point…]

‘An anchor point?’

‘What could that be?’

Just as I struggled to grasp the meaning of that word, a potent repulsive force abruptly ejected my consciousness from The Book of the Nameless!

“Ugh!”

I let out a muffled grunt, my eyes snapping open.

I was still seated in my study chair, the Book of the Nameless in my hands already closed.

Outside the window, the dark crimson moon remained high in the sky.

Everything that had just transpired felt like nothing more than a lengthy dream.

Yet, that ancient sorrow, and the final word…

…’anchor point,’ were etched with startling clarity into my mind.

I lowered my gaze, studying my own hands.

These hands did not appear as terrifying as those of the Firstborn Child of Chaos, nor did they carry a curse to annihilate all they touched.

‘Was it because… I was too weak?’

‘Or was it due to… some other, unknown reason?’

‘An anchor point…’

I repeatedly chewed on the word, my gaze unconsciously drifting to the empty dessert plate on the desk.

I recalled Ella’s eyes, brimming with anticipation…

…Beatrix’s wavering and conflicted expression…

…Elinor’s dangerous and subtly playful smile…

…and Anna’s transformation from fear to profound concern.

The connections between people.

Could it be…

A daring, almost absurd, hypothesis slowly began to surface in my mind.