Misunderstandings and the Weight of a Date

No, putting the “puppy” comment aside, is it really okay to act like this with someone who has a lover? Granted, it hadn’t been long since we started dating, and because we only shared physical affection in places where absolutely no one was around, more people were ignorant of our status than those who knew. It was clear Senior Serman didn’t know either, which must be why he was acting so familiarly.

Should I tell him right now that I have a lover? But if I just blurt it out, will he think, ‘What, does he think I’m interested in him?’ What if he misinterprets me as someone with delusions of grandeur?

Still, informing him in advance wouldn’t hurt either of us. Both I and Senior Serman were sensitive to rumors.

“I was surprised, though,” the senior said as he draped an embroidered overcoat over my shoulders.

“Pardon? Why?”

“To be honest, changing the situation right in front of you is a very bothersome and frightening thing, isn’t it? I thought you’d agonize over it for about a week and then tell me you wouldn’t do it because you were too scared.”

“…You know me too well.”

Setting aside the week of agonizing, for him to predict that I’d refuse out of fear—I wondered if Senior Serman practiced mind reading.

Serman draped another coat over me and asked, “I feel like there was a specific turning point. Am I right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Can you tell me what that special occasion was?”

“Well…”

I hesitated as I was about to explain. Now was the perfect time to naturally mention I had a lover. I spoke up quickly.

“As you know, Senior, there’s no one I really fit in with in the General Department.”

“Yes, I heard you have one friend each in the Swordsmanship and Magic Departments.”

“Ah, the Magic Department is correct, but the one in Swordsmanship… not anymore.”

“Did you have a falling out?”

“No. It’s absolutely nothing like that.”

“Then?”

“He just became my lover.”

Senior Serman’s hand, which had been reaching for another coat, froze.

“A lover?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, I heard you were long-time childhood friends.”

Serman murmured as he inspected the remaining coats one by one. “How fascinating.”

“Pardon?”

“I thought childhood friends falling in love only happened in novels.”

Serman pressed a finger against a shawl embroidered with green leaves and asked, “How can different emotions arise after being friends for so long? It’s truly mysterious.”

“To be honest, I’m still a bit dazed myself. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t been long since we started dating.”

“Shall I tell you an interesting fact, Cecil?”

“What is it?”

“People are so foolish that they sometimes mistake even their own emotions.”

Serman, who had been pressing on the shawl, picked up another garment. It took me a beat to process his words, and when I did, I was startled.

“It’s definitely not a mistake!”

“Is that so? Well, if you say so…”

Like hell it’s ‘if I say so.’ The way his voice trailed off showed he still thought I was confused.

I pondered how to convey my heart. Since some point in time, I had started looking at him with different eyes, and I had begun to desire a relationship beyond friendship—how could that be a mistake? Above all, there was no reason I would want to kiss a mere friend.

Ah, forget everything else, I feel like one sentence—’There’s no way I’d want to kiss a friend’—would settle this. But is saying that a bit too much?

I tried to hold it back. However, having the love I felt for Michael flatly denied, I couldn’t restrain myself today either.

“There’s no way I’d want to kiss a friend.”

“…….”

“I’m definitely not mistaken.”

Why does my reason always return five seconds too late? I wanted to tear my own mouth off. I had just done something that could get me socially buried again.

As I broke out in a cold sweat in the room where the air had turned chilly, Senior Serman quietly covered his forehead and called my name.

“Cecil.”

“Yes.”

“This is your problem. What’s the use of being so cautious normally? You ruin everything the moment you lose your temper.”

“…….”

“Isn’t that exactly how the incident in the first year happened?”

I couldn’t argue. From start to finish, Senior Serman was absolutely right.

“Now, Cecil. Look in the mirror again.”

Serman draped a white cloak over me. The clothes I had worn so far were high-end, but this was the pinnacle of luxury. It was so light it felt as if I wasn’t wearing anything at all, and it was as soft as a cloud.

I absentmindedly stroked the cloak. Serman whispered from behind me.

“How is it?”

It felt uncomfortable, as if I had stolen someone else’s clothes. Yet, I looked just as noble. Honestly, after entering the Academy, I had been surrounded by so many people wealthier and more impressive than me that I couldn’t truly feel the fact that I, too, was a noble. But looking at myself now, I looked like a nobleman to anyone’s eyes. To the point where I wouldn’t look out of place anywhere.

To think I could change this much just by swapping clothes. When I couldn’t take my eyes off the mirror, Serman laughed out loud again. It was a clear, trilling laugh, like the sound of a bell.

Serman asked, “What is the thing you want to do most right now?”

Without thinking, I said, “Drop out.”

“Cecil?”

“Ah, I’m sorry. That’s just something I say out of habit. I didn’t mean it seriously at all.”

“I know. I won’t misunderstand.”

Serman gripped my shoulders again. “It’s improving your reputation, right?”

“…….”

The conversation I had with Michael when we decided to date flashed through my mind.

I had said I didn’t like other people touching Michael, and Michael said he didn’t like other people touching me. And regardless of that, I believed that casually initiating physical contact with someone who has a lover is inherently disrespectful. Especially in this world where same-s*x marriage is permitted.

But that was just a manner of speaking; in the course of interacting with people and having a social life, physical contact is bound to happen. Turning cold and pushing people away every single time would essentially be giving up on social life altogether.

Even Michael often puts his arm around his friends’ shoulders. And I, too, hug Ronia and cause a fuss whenever something good happens.

The more I think about it, the harder it gets. Where is the line? What is okay and what isn’t?

Would it be easier if I set the standard based on the other person’s intention? If the other person isn’t thinking anything of it and as long as the contact isn’t too extreme, it should be fine.

“You don’t want the people you love to suffer because of you, do you?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

I decided I should just ask Michael directly and clear the air. I nodded at Senior Serman’s words.

“Then, as I advised you last time.”

Serman’s fingers once again lifted the corners of my mouth. “Smile.”

“…….”

The mirror reflected a version of me that looked more dignified than anyone else, yet was smiling grotesquely. However, I couldn’t take my eyes off that reflection. Because, surprisingly, I found myself thinking it looked quite good.

The senior bought me not only the shirts and pants I had tried on but even that incredibly expensive cloak. While I stood with my jaw dropped at the price of the cloak—which was several times more expensive than all the shirts and pants combined—the senior casually wrote an amount on a check and handed it to the clerk.

“Deliver these to the Academy.”

“Yes, thank you, Young Master. Please visit us again next time.”

The clerks followed us out of the shop and bowed. I had never received such treatment in my life. I watched the clerks with wary eyes as they remained bowed and motionless even as we moved further away, when Serman asked.

“What is it now, Cecil?”

“Pardon?”

“Why do you look so anxious?”

When a person receives a gift that doesn’t suit their station, anxiety outweighs joy. Why did Senior Serman spend such a fortune on me when we had only met a few times? I asked cautiously.

“Senior, I’m sorry, but that clothing earlier…”

“Shall we call it a gift for a cute junior who has resolved to make a fresh start?”

Serman looked down at me as he climbed into his carriage.

“As I said yesterday, I have somewhere else to go, so let’s part ways here.”

The corners of his eyes curved like a fox. He waved his hand flutteringly, like a butterfly.

“Then, see you on Monday. Don’t forget to practice smiling over the weekend.”

“Ah, yes.”

As soon as I nodded, the carriage departed. I headed toward the fountain. A man with brown hair holding a bouquet was sitting in front of it.

An appearance so handsome that people stole glances. A sturdy physique that was evident even through his clothes. A kind personality that led him to buy flowers for the one he loved. But, of course, the most fantastic point was…

“Michael.”

The fact that that man was mine. As soon as he spotted me, Michael smiled brightly and shouted.

“Cecil!”

I ran to Michael. He set the bouquet aside for a moment and opened his arms wide. And as soon as I slammed into him with all my might, he lifted me high into the air. Michael looked up at me and asked.

“Did your meeting with the senior go well?”

“Of course.”

Michael gave my forehead a light kiss and set me down again. Then he held out the bouquet to me. It was a lovely bouquet of pale pink Lisianthus.

“I saw them on my way here and bought them because they looked so much like you.”

“Really? I think they look more like you, actually.”

“No, they look like you.”

“No, they look like you.”

We were so sincere toward each other that a man passing by visibly scowled. I cradled the bouquet in my arms and leaned my head on Michael’s shoulder. Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulder and spoke.

“Let’s rest here for a bit and then go grab something to eat.”

“It would have been nice if Ronia could have come too. I found a really delicious restaurant.”

“But it can’t be helped. She said a dinner appointment with a professor was suddenly made.”

“…….”

After remaining silent for a while, I blurted out.

“Just imagining it is awkward and terrible. Just picturing the professor’s face asking questions while eating makes my stomach churn.”

“Actually, she asked me to buy some digestive medicine for her if I see a pharmacy while we’re on our date.”

I blinked my eyes.

“What did you just say?”

“Hmm? Ronia asked if I could buy some digestive medicine.”

“No, before that. Say it again from the beginning.”

“Ah.”

Michael, finally realizing my thoughts, grinned and repeated what he had said.

“She asked me to buy some digestive medicine if I see a pharmacy while we’re on our date.”

“…….”

A date. Yes, the reason we met today wasn’t just for a simple outing. When you meet as friends, it’s just an outing, but when you meet as lovers, it becomes that famous thing called a date.

I had always thought it was something far removed from my life, but to think I was on a date. As soon as that reality sank in, not only did my whole body tremble, but heat rushed to my face.