The Compromise and the Secret

Lu Jinnian’s voice drifted over, carrying a hint of helplessness. Chu Nian looked up at him, his vision blurred. The man cupping his face and wiping his tears didn’t have the soft, pampered skin of a rich heir; instead, his fingertips felt slightly rough.

His palms were warm, gently pressing against Chu Nian’s cheeks.

What did Lu Jinnian just say?

He spent the whole night looking for me?

Chu Nian froze, his lashes trembling. A teardrop hanging from his lashes fell onto Lu Jinnian’s fingertip, slid across the back of his hand and wrist, and finally vanished into his sleeve.

“You… you were looking for me?” Chu Nian spoke in a muffled voice, thick with a nasal quality from crying. His nose was red, and his eyes were full of shock as he looked at Lu Jinnian.

He had never imagined that Lu Jinnian would come looking for him.

As his vision finally cleared, Lu Jinnian lowered his head, his dark eyes looking intently at Chu Nian. He was frowning slightly, his lips pursed—he certainly didn’t look like he was joking.

Chu Nian listened to the struggle within the man’s heart. It was as if a panicked little person inside Lu Jinnian was constantly screaming that he needed to coax him.

Lu Jinnian was torn. One moment he was thinking, ‘My wife is crying so hard he’s going to faint, ugh, so pitiful,’ and the next, ‘But I was the one who got angry first! Shouldn’t my wife be the one coaxing me?!’

The man’s expression was a kaleidoscope of changes—brows smoothing out one second and knotting the next. He was clearly engaged in a meaningless internal battle.

Chu Nian looked up. His watery eyes and reddened sockets made Lu Jinnian daze for a moment. Chu Nian’s rosy lips pout unconsciously; perhaps he looked too pathetic, because in the next heartbeat, Chu Nian felt Lu Jinnian cave.

He saw Lu Jinnian’s bitten lower lip release. His lips trembled, and it took a long while before he managed to say: “You aren’t… crying because you’re moved, are you?”

Then, as if finally realizing something, Lu Jinnian sighed with relief: “Fine, I admit it. Your little trick has indeed caught my attention.”

“Now, take back those tears.”

Chu Nian: “?”

Great coaxing. Don’t do it again.

He tilted his head and broke free from Lu Jinnian’s grasp. The man seemed caught off guard by the sudden move, his hands hanging awkwardly in mid-air. Chu Nian raised his hand to wipe his own tears; the friction made the corners of his already flushed eyes turn even redder.

Lu Jinnian stared at the man crying miserably before him. His pale skin was tinged with a faint crimson. Suddenly, Lu Jinnian felt his mouth go dry, as if smoke were rising from his throat.

He subconsciously licked his lips.

Chu Nian sniffled, his sluggish thoughts slowly returning. Only now did he realize he had cried in front of Lu Jinnian—and quite miserably at that, as if he had suffered some monumental grievance.

In all his years, he hadn’t cried when he was abandoned at the orphanage. He hadn’t cried when Pei Yu died. He hadn’t even cried when Liao Ling went mad and nearly strangled him.

And yet, the moment Lu Jinnian touched him, the dam had burst, and the tears had fallen completely out of control.

He widened his eyes, wiped the wetness from his hands onto his pants, and kept his head low, refusing to look up.

This is so embarrassing.

How could I cry in front of Lu Jinnian?

Lu Jinnian looked at Chu Nian with confusion. From this angle, he could only see the fluffy top of the man’s head and the tip of his red nose peeking out.

The man seemed to have realized he had cried and was hanging his head in shame, yet his shoulders were still twitching with lingering grievance.

Lu Jinnian narrowed his eyes and suddenly raised a hand to cover his mouth, attempting to hide the upward curl of his lips.

[Wife…]

[So cute.]

Chu Nian’s furrowed brow relaxed. His hands gripped his pants.

A faint, soft chuckle came from above him.

[Red cheeks, red nose, even his ears are red.]

[Cute, cute, truly cute.]

[I want to make my wife cry a few more times.]

Chu Nian snapped his head up.

The laughter in his ears and the arrogant inner voice ceased instantly. Lu Jinnian hadn’t expected Chu Nian to look up so suddenly. The look in Chu Nian’s eyes seemed to be saying: “Are you a pervert?!”

Chu Nian stared at him with earthquake-level shock in his pupils. Lu Jinnian began to wonder if the man had somehow sensed his little thoughts.

Feeling inexplicably guilty, he avoided Chu Nian’s gaze, the corners of his mouth twitching stiffly as he spoke dryly: “Wh-what is it?”

Chu Nian said nothing. When Lu Jinnian raised his hand, Chu Nian took a step back. It was an instinctive move, but it made Lu Jinnian feel a bit disgruntled, a flicker of nameless fire rising in his chest.

Following that, Chu Nian bolted into his room right under his nose. With a “bang,” the door slammed shut, as if in retaliation for Lu Jinnian’s earlier actions.

Lu Jinnian stood there, dazed. He hovered by the door, debating whether or not to return to his own room.

The two little figures in his head started fighting again. But before he could reach a conclusion, Chu Nian threw the door open again.

It was an exact replica of Lu Jinnian’s actions from minutes prior. Lu Jinnian clicked his tongue, thinking that he and Chu Nian were truly a match made in heaven.

Lu Jinnian looked over. Chu Nian stood in the doorway, hair a mess. He had changed his clothes; beneath the hem of his oversized shirt were two white, straight legs.

The man swallowed, then suddenly sprinted forward and crashed into Lu Jinnian’s arms.

The sound of his running echoed through the dark villa.

Chu Nian’s movement was too fast, giving Lu Jinnian no time to react. Lu Jinnian was knocked back several steps, his waist hitting the railing behind him. A sharp pain shot to his brain, but before he could let out a cry of pain, he felt a warm weight against his chest.

He looked down at the top of Chu Nian’s head. The man was burrowed in his arms, face pressed tightly against his chest. Chu Nian’s arms were wrapped around Lu Jinnian’s waist. He said nothing; he just held him. The hot breath he exhaled was nearly dampening the fabric of Lu Jinnian’s shirt.

For a moment, Lu Jinnian’s head felt like it was buzzing. He held his hands high, wanting to put them down but not quite daring to. Chu Nian was like a stubborn cat that couldn’t help but lean in for affection. Lu Jinnian’s heart softened completely, and his voice followed suit: “You…”

“Don’t speak.”

Chu Nian’s voice was still trembling, laced with a lingering sob.

Lu Jinnian shut his mouth immediately.

He quietly lowered his hands, loosely circling Chu Nian’s shoulders. Lu Jinnian could feel the man’s nose pressed against his chest muscles; the dampness of his cheeks was likely leaving a mark on that small patch of fabric.

The two stood in the hallway, the silence filled only by their breathing and soft, muffled sniffling.

After an unknown amount of time, Chu Nian released him. He kept his head down, unwilling to let Lu Jinnian see him in such a disheveled state.

He croaked out a “Thank you” and immediately ran back into his room.

Lu Jinnian watched the closed door. The cold wind blowing in from the window finally brought back a bit of his rationality. He slowly withdrew his gaze and shook his head in self-mockery.

Completely defeated by him.

***************************************

After that night, Chu Nian felt a subtle shift in his relationship with Lu Jinnian.

He felt a wave of regret whenever he thought about it—Why did I suddenly lose my mind and run out to hug him?

The spot where he had been held seemed to yearn for the warmth of Lu Jinnian’s palms. Every time he recalled it, that patch of skin felt as if it were being nipped by ants, a faint, lingering itch.

Strange. So strange.

Chu Nian felt his ears burning for no reason. The flush had probably reached his cheeks, and the office air conditioning couldn’t seem to blow it away.

He pounded the keyboard with unintentional force, venting his frustration on the keys. The colleague sitting next to him silently shifted their chair away, fearing a keycap might fly off and injure an innocent bystander.

Chu Nian stared at the dense files on the computer screen. He closed his eyes and pinched his aching brow, then stood up with his mug and ran to get some cold water.

He even piled more than half a cup of ice into it. The glass couldn’t block the chill, turning his fingers red from the cold. The icy liquid slid down his throat, making his spine tingle, but it effectively suppressed the strange heat in his heart.

“Hey, Chu Nian?”

Someone appeared beside him. Chu Nian turned and nodded: “Sister Li.”

Li Yan smiled in response. Glancing at the ice in his cup, she was slightly taken aback: “Xiao Nian, that’s a lot of ice.”

Chu Nian licked his lips. His frozen fingers were beginning to throb slightly. He quickly set the cup down: “I accidentally put too much in.”

“Drink less of that, it’s bad for your stomach,” Li Yan warned kindly. Then she leaned in closer. “A few new interns are coming to our department. Have you seen them?”

Chu Nian shook his head obediently.

Li Yan sighed. “I heard one of the interns this year is exceptionally good-looking, looks like a mixed-race model. If Supervisor Ye were here, I could ask him.”

Hearing Ye Linen’s name, Chu Nian dazed for a moment. It felt like he hadn’t seen Ye Linen at the company for quite a while.

“Supervisor Ye?” Chu Nian asked. “Where has he been lately?”

Li Yan’s expression shifted. She pulled Chu Nian to a corner and whispered: “You don’t know? Supervisor Ye somehow offended that President Lu from Lansheng. President Shen told him to go home and rest for a few days.”

“Supervisor Ye is really unlucky. Of all people, he had to provoke that ‘ancestor’ from Lansheng. Sigh—ever since Lu Jinnian started collaborating with our company, he’s like our second boss. It’s uncertain if Supervisor Ye will even be able to come back to work.”

As she was speaking, the office door was suddenly pushed open. Shen Que walked in, followed by several interns. Li Yan tactfully shut her mouth and returned to her workstation with her mug.

Before leaving, she didn’t forget to wave at Chu Nian.

Chu Nian lowered his head as he passed behind Shen Que. Once back at his desk, he stole a glance toward Shen Que’s direction.

Then, he froze.

Among the interns following Shen Que was Lin Yan.

He was dressed in a proper suit, holding several folders, and his hair had been neatly styled. If Chu Nian hadn’t looked closely, he really wouldn’t have recognized him.

Lin Yan didn’t seem to notice Chu Nian, listening intently to Shen Que’s introduction. Before long, they followed Shen Que out of the office.

Just as they stepped out the door, Lin Yan suddenly turned his head. His light brown eyes met Chu Nian’s.

Chu Nian didn’t have time to look away.

Then, he saw Lin Yan flash a smile at him and mouth a few words:

—I’ll wait for you to get off work.