The Protagonist is Dead

The room was silent. The quiet was unbearable.

Wait… since when did this become one of those cliché scenes where the protagonist falls and accidentally touches a girl’s chest?

And wasn’t the person he touched supposed to be a man?

Xiao Yu mentally groaned.

Thud!

The book he had handed over fell to the ground, landing right beside Xiao Yu’s head. He glanced at it casually—and immediately saw the image of massive breasts covered only by two small yellow talismans.

…

Damn it! Could his luck get any worse?

Out of all the pages in that book, why did Tie Yanran have to flip to one of the few indecent ones?

This was the flaw with unofficial publications—they always used sensational images to grab attention. An official release would’ve used something properly censored.

He’d heard the twelfth-ranked cultivator on the Dragon-Tiger List, the Azure Wave Sword Saint, had been hunting down the compiler for years. The reason? A photo inside showed him drunk, hugging a sow with plum blossom markings on its rear during a wedding ceremony. Because of that single image, the mighty sword saint remained unmarried despite being in his prime.

Xiao Yu instantly understood why Tie Yanran had exploded. But before he could speak, Tie Yanran snapped.

“Xiao Yu you… you… you!!!”

Feeling hands on his chest, Tie Yanran stammered incoherently, face burning red. With a flick of spiritual energy, the sword hanging on the wall flew into his hand.

Shing!

The blade slid halfway out of its sheath.

Blinding cold light flashed, making Xiao Yu wince.

“Forget it! You better forget everything!!”

His chest had been touched—by Xiao Yu!

It wasn’t about size. He was still developing. It would grow later.

But Xiao Yu *had* to forget. Even if he had to beat him until he lost his memory. Yes—that way, he’d never remember.

Eyes shut, Tie Yanran raised the sword and swung downward. He had clearly lost control.

Crap!

A flash of sharp steel sliced past Xiao Yu’s face. It looked like he was about to lose his head.

He really was going to end up with Louis XVI.

At the last second, Xiao Yu grabbed the fabric over Tie Yanran’s chest and shoved him sideways. He dodged the killing blow and, using momentum, flipped on top of Tie Yanran.

Their positions reversed. Xiao Yu pinned the hand holding the sword to the floor with his other hand.

Phew!

That was close.

Tie Yanran hit his head on the floor. The pain made him flinch, but it also helped clear his foggy mind.

Xiao Yu’s voice came from above.

“Brother Tie, listen to me. That’s just a regular cultivation miscellany. You only saw a few special pages. It’s not some porn book. You have to believe me—I’m not that kind of person!”

Xiao Yu leaned down, staring straight into Tie Yanran’s eyes. His tone was earnest, his expression overflowing with sincerity. He looked like he had “upright gentleman” tattooed on his forehead.

Tie Yanran didn’t care about excuses. He silently recited the Zhengqi Jue mantra, which calmed him slightly. He glanced at Xiao Yu’s righteous expression—then slowly looked down.

Xiao Yu followed his gaze.

He saw his own hand—still pressing against Tie Yanran’s chest.

…

…

“Oh! Sorry.” He quickly apologized, removing his left hand.

Then, without thinking, his right hand took its place, instinctively pressing down again as he maintained the wall-pin pose. He looked into Tie Yanran’s eyes with unwavering sincerity.

“You have to believe me! I used to play with you when you were little. By the way, your chest muscles are pretty solid!”

Tie Yanran: “…………”

“I don’t believe you for a second! Your chest is the one that’s solid!”

Seeing Xiao Yu act so clueless, the Zhengqi Jue in his heart couldn’t suppress his fury. Tie Yanran kicked Xiao Yu off with full force, gathered his energy, and launched a slash meant to cut down this bastard who had taken advantage of him and didn’t even care.

Xiao Yu grunted as the kick slammed into his gut. Before he could recover, a terrifying blade of energy shot toward him.

Crap!

He rolled aside just in time, narrowly avoiding being split in half.

Instead, the strike cleaved the ornate bed behind him clean in two.

Tie Yanran’s heart clenched at the sight. Fortunately, after a quick check, he saw the doll on the bedside hadn’t been damaged. He exhaled in relief.

Once relieved, anger returned.

Being flat wasn’t her fault!

What’s wrong with being flat? At least it saved fabric!

And after seeing her face, how could he still think she was a man?

Calling her “Iron Chest” over and over!

Was she really that unappealing?

Had anyone ever seen a man with such delicate, feminine features?

Damn it! After waiting for him all this time, the moment he returned, he forgot all about her!

Only cared about his disciple.

Fine. Hard? You’re the one who’s hard!

The woman known as Tie Yanran grew angrier with each thought. Her crystal-clear eyes sent chills down Xiao Yu’s spine.

“Uh, Brother Tie…”

Xiao Yu stepped forward, still trying to explain.

Then—

“Monster! Beast! Pervert! Say ‘Iron Chest’ one more time and I’ll kill you!”

She dropped her restraint. A clear, bell-like female voice rang through the room, followed by several sharp blades of sword qi.

“What? Brother Tie… you’re a woman?”

Xiao Yu barely dodged the incoming slashes. He stared at Tie Yanran—now revealed—as shock filled his face.

WTF!

Among two guys who looked like girls, there was actually a flat-chested girl? Who the hell could tell?!

And Xiao Yu honestly hadn’t expected that Tie Yanran, as a woman, had less softness than her younger brother.

Wait—maybe Tie Qingyan was a woman too.

He couldn’t find words. But Tie Yanran, hearing Xiao Yu’s genuine surprise—as if he had no idea at all—was now furious enough to commit murder.

Totally snapped.

“Die!”

This time, it wasn’t sword qi. The cold blade itself came slashing toward Xiao Yu.

She was serious now. Xiao Yu turned and ran. This place was no longer safe. If he stayed any longer, it wouldn’t be the bed getting split—it’d be him.

Bang!

The half-closed door burst open as Xiao Yu crashed through. Two sword beams whizzed past his head.

The door shattered into splinters.

Hiss…

Xiao Yu sucked in a breath. The destructive power was insane.

“Calm down! Brother Tie… Miss Tie! I really didn’t know! How about I treat you to papaya stew later?”

“Shut up! That stuff… that stuff doesn’t work at all!”

Tie Yanran chased after him, sword in hand, her voice trembling with emotion, almost on the verge of tears. Her resentment clung to the air.

Damn… I’m really sorry!

Trying to soothe her only made her feel worse.

Realizing the situation was beyond salvage, Xiao Yu summoned his soul-bound flying sword, turned into a streak of light, and fled toward Great Bamboo Sword Peak.

Sword cultivators were among the fastest in the cultivation world.

Just as Tie Yanran prepared to chase, someone rushed from behind and hugged her tightly.

“Big Brother! Calm down! Did Yu Gege make you angry? Don’t fight!”

Everyone knew the Zhengqi Jue was passed down only to men. Women were forbidden from learning it.

Yet Tie Yanran was an exception. Not only could she cultivate it—she excelled at it, far surpassing her peers.

But perhaps because she cultivated a technique meant only for men, her body became flooded with righteous energy. Her chest never developed. She remained a flat-chested princess.

To avoid drawing suspicion—or to hide her insecurity—Tie Yanran wore a mask and lived as a man. She planned to reveal the truth only when the time was right.

If she now chased Xiao Yu openly through the island, her beautiful face would draw too much attention.

Though for the old monsters hiding in Demon Gathering Island, it probably wouldn’t matter whether she wore a mask or not.

Realizing this, Tie Yanran gave up. Watching Xiao Yu’s sword light vanish into the distance, she spat out a final threat.

“You can run, but you can’t hide. Xiao Yu, just wait. I will throw you into Sword Prison.”

“Big Brother, what happened? Why did you two suddenly start fighting?”

Tie Qingyan stood nearby, worried, her fair face filled with concern.

Seeing her sister had no intention of chasing anymore, she released her grip.

With Tie Qingyan’s martial artist strength, Tie Yanran couldn’t break free easily.

“Nothing. Just that damn brat! When I catch him, he’ll regret it.”

Tie Yanran muttered angrily. She glanced at her “younger brother,” then frowned at her chest.

“I told you already—call me Sister. And why are you wearing that chest wrap again? It’s bad for development.”

“But… if I don’t wear it, it feels weird. They swing around when I walk, and it pulls when I practice martial arts.”

“…………”

Tie Yanran covered her face. It was her fault. She had given Tie Qingyan the wrong impression, making her think men were supposed to look like her.

Tie Qingyan was the second child of Tie Yanran’s parents. After giving birth to Tie Yanran, they hoped their next child would be a son—one capable of inheriting the Zhengqi Jue. They named him Tie Zhu, full of expectations.

Hearing the saying “sour for boys, spicy for girls,” Tie Yanran’s mother ate nothing but sour foods during pregnancy. The entire Tie Mansion reeked of vinegar.

But the second child born was another girl.

If Tie Yanran hadn’t later proven she could master the Zhengqi Jue herself, they might’ve tried for a third.

Tie Qingyan had been raised by Tie Yanran since childhood. She deeply admired her sister. At five years old, she even forced herself to cultivate Zhengqi Jue to be like her—resulting in a three-day fever that nearly killed her. Luckily, Deputy Sect Leader Gong of Demon Gathering Island intervened and barely saved her.

It proved Tie Yanran was truly exceptional.

After that fever, perhaps due to trauma or intense desire, Tie Qingyan developed a mistaken self-identity. Maybe her longing to cultivate Zhengqi Jue was too strong. She believed she was male. Later, when Tie Yanran’s father asked her to disguise herself as a man, it reinforced that false belief.

Thus, the misunderstanding took root.

Tie Yanran remembered how, when her younger sister first began developing, her chest grew rapidly. She envied her. But Tie Qingyan saw herself as abnormal. She cried all night, covering her chest, even considering cutting them off. Only timely intervention from her mother saved them.

One suffered drought, the other flood.

From that day on, Tie Qingyan started wearing a chest wrap.

Suddenly, Tie Yanran recalled the soft sensation when Tie Qingyan had hugged her from behind.

She touched her own chest. Both were wrapped. Same size. So why was hers like this…?

“………………”

Dammit!

Furious, Tie Yanran turned and stormed back into her room.

“Hey? Big Brother, aren’t you off duty today? You don’t need to go to Demon Subduing Peak.”

“Overtime!”

Tie Yanran put on her mask and said coldly.

…

“Achoo!”

Midair, Xiao Yu—who was fleeing toward Great Bamboo Sword Peak—suddenly sneezed.

He rubbed his nose. Seeing Tie Yanran hadn’t followed, he dismounted from the sword beam and resumed normal flight. Sword beams were fast but consumed a lot of spiritual energy.

Must be Tie Yanran cursing him.

Tie Yanran… Tie Yanran. He should’ve realized earlier. Otherwise, things wouldn’t have escalated like this.

He sighed bitterly and continued flying.

After a while, he suddenly stopped, sensing something.

Wait. Even if he had realized Tie Yanran was a woman, that wasn’t the real issue. The problem was that he had accidentally touched her steel-plated chest. That’s why she was so mad.

Three classic protagonist tropes: opening a door to see nudity, falling and touching a girl’s chest, and stumbling upon a woman bathing in a lake.

Why were these happening to him—a background character?

Something was off.

It could only be that guy.

“System?”

“This has nothing to do with the system. It’s simply the natural effect of your protagonist aura.”

The mechanical voice echoed in his mind.

It was definitely this damn thing’s doing.

Case solved. No need to think. He didn’t have a protagonist aura to begin with.

This system must’ve added it secretly.

“…………”

The system in Xiao Yu’s mind fell silent. But after a pause, it offered a warning.

“Host, beware of the one called Tie Zhu. She is actually female. And she is not a Seventh-Rank Martial Artist—she is at the Limitless Realm.”

“…………”

Xiao Yu fell silent. When he realized Tie Yanran was a woman, suspicions arose. Now, looking back, there were many red flags.

How could a man look more beautiful than women? That only existed outside reality.

Ah well. Every family had its struggles. His Bai Yan didn’t even understand emotions yet.

Xiao Yu continued flying.

First, resolve the Xia Nianmo issue. Then deal with this system. Finally, help Bai Yan rediscover her feelings. That was his true path.

With that thought, he shouted directly into his mind.

“It’s time to unbind the system. Stop bothering my retirement. The real protagonist Ye Feng is out there. And while you’re at it, take Xia Nianmo with you. Otherwise, the plot will collapse completely. For a system like yours, crossing the Sea of Forbidden Tides should be easy, right?”

“The system cannot do that. Once bound, the host cannot be changed unless the current host dies. Also, the Ye Feng you mentioned—according to system records—has already died.”

Xiao Yu froze mid-flight.

“Huh?”